Introduction
When we have been wronged in our own minds we feel a need to hold it against them, to want to get even, you harbor bitterness in your heart. After all I am a man and nobody disrespects me! Does this sound familiar? Does this sound right? Does this mean I am to let him off free? What does the Bible say on the topic? I must admit I have learned some things since the last time I taught on this topic but that is OK. I remember a preacher named Wesley (that is John Wesley) who threw out his sermons every seven years stating that if he did not learn anything new in seven years he should leave the ministry! So here we go.
What Does it Mean to Forgive?
And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. (Mark 11:25-26)
FORGIVE, FORGAVE, FORGIVENESS
aphiemi NT:863, primarily, "to send forth, send away" (apo, "from," hiemi, "to send"), denotes, besides its other meanings, "to remit or forgive" (a) debts, Matt 6:12; 18:27,32, these being completely cancelled; (b) sins, e. g., Matt 9:2,5,6; 12:31,32; Acts 8:22 ("the thought of thine heart"); Rom 4:7; James 5:15; 1 John 1:9; 2:12. Firstly signifies the remission of the punishment due to sinful conduct, the deliverance of the sinner from the penalty divinely, and therefore righteously, imposed; secondly, it involves the complete removal of the cause of offense; such remission is based upon the vicarious and propitiatory sacrifice of Christ. The verb is used in the NT with reference to trespasses (paraptoma), e. g., Matt 6:14,15; sins (hamartia), e. g., Luke 5:20; debts (see above) (opheilema), Matt 6:12; (opheile), 18:32; (daneion), 18:27; the thought (dianoia) of the heart, Acts 8:22.
Human "forgiveness" is to be strictly analogous to divine "forgiveness," e. g., Matt 6:12. If certain conditions are fulfilled, there is no limitation to Christ’s law of "forgiveness," Matt 18:21,22. The conditions are repentance and confession, Matt 18:15-17; Luke 17:3.[i]
Repentance
Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. (2 Corinthians 7:9-10)
Repentance is more than sorrow. You can be sorry you got caught and not sorry for the sin committed. We can sorrow over the pain we caused others with our actions and not be sorry we grieved God and trampled the precious blood of Jesus under foot with our actions.
If we are sorry for the right reasons, it works us to repentance, which is the turning away from the sin in our lives so we can please God.
Confession
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
Confession and repentance are two separate things.
CONFESS, CONFESSION
homologeo NT:3670, lit., "to speak the same thing" (homos, "same," lego, "to speak"), "to assent, accord, agree with," denotes, (a) "to confess, declare, admit," John 1:20; e. g., Acts 24:14; Heb 11:13; (b) "to confess by way of admitting oneself guilty of what one is accused of, the result of inward conviction.[ii]
So when we confess, we enumerate our sins. We speak them out one by one, confessing them as wrong, asking for God’s forgiveness for each one.
When we come to God for salvation, there is no way we could ever do this, but 1 John is addressed to Christians, so the thought is that we need to, as Martin Luther said, keep short accounts with God. As close as possible to the act, when you realize you did wrong, seek forgiveness there and then!
Think dads, if you had a favorite fishing pole and your son used it and broke the reel, when would you want him to tell you? Come now and ask forgiveness of you dad and not wait to be found out! Be men of integrity and character.
To Forget?
For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more. (Hebrews 8:12)
Does this mean that God gets amnesia? Not hardly.
Remember: NT:3403 mimnesko (mim-nace’-ko); a prolonged form of NT:3415 (from which some of the tenses are borrowed); to remind, i.e. (middle voice) to recall to mind: KJV - be mindful, remember.[iii]
This is coupled with a couple of negative participles
NT:3756 ou (oo); also (before a vowel) ouk (ook); and (before an aspirate) ouch (ookh); a primary word; the absolute negative [compare NT:3361] adverb; no or not:[iv]
NT:3361 me (may); a primary particle of qualified negation (whereas NT:3756 expresses an absolute denial); (adverbially) not, (conjunctionally) lest; also (as an interrogative implying a negative answer [whereas NT:3756 expects an affirmative one]) whether.[v]
Will I remember no more - This is evidently spoken after the manner of men, and in accordance with human apprehension. It cannot mean literally that God forgets that people are sinners, but it means that he treats them as if this were forgotten. Their sins are not charged upon them, and they are no more punished than if they had passed entirely out of the recollection. God treats them with just as much kindness, and regards them with as sincere affection, as if their sins ceased wholly to be remembered, or which is the same thing, as if they had never sinned.
“Unlike the repeated sacrifices of the law, which were an annual reminder of sins, Jesus’ offering of Himself has brought forgiveness, holiness, and perfection once and for all.”[vi]
One sacrifice offered one time for all sins, not to be remembered in the fact that God does not impute them to us once saved. We are saved from the judgment of sin, not necessarily the consequences of it.
I remember the case of a woman in Texas who murdered her children. She was found guilty and sentenced to death. While in prison she met the Saviour. Why do I think it was real? Despite all the so called Christians saying hey, she should be pardoned now, she said no, she had committed the crime and was ready to meet Jesus. She was forgiven.
So amesia is not required to forgive, but just as God does we do not keep bringing it up to them, but what love do we have if we see them going down the same path and say nothing to help them?
So Forgiving Means
That we do not hold the mistake against them, we do not bring it up over and over again.
Do Not Cheapen Forgiveness!
What do I mean by this? Well we cheapen it, and the blood that brought it to us in two major ways:
We do not forgive what God has forgiven. Remember what Paul said in Philippians? Forgetting those things that are behind? Not only are we commanded to forgive others immediately and completely but we must forgive ourselves. Remember the verse at the beginning of our study? If we do not forgive others we cannot be forgiven. But we also cannot continue to condemn ourselves for what God has already forgiven us, even if others will not. We are told if we are at the alter and we remember that someone has anything at all against us, leave our gift at the alter and make it right between you and them (Matthew 5:23-24). If you have done what you can and they cannot forgive, pray for them but forgive yourself.
Do not ever cheapen forgiveness by expressing it to a non-repentant person. We must always give forgiveness to others vertically to God, to keep our relationship right with Him but we are not to walk up to someone who has willfully wronged us and has not repented and say “I forgive you!” Forgive me for what, I did nothing wrong! Do not cheapen forgiveness and the blood that bought it (that is the blood of Christ) in such a way. Where do I get this? Fr0m the Bible:
Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
(Luke 17:3-4)
This is the only way to reconcile the two thoughts presented. We must forgive, they must repent first. So before God with all our hearts we forgive them, but if they will not repent, do not express it to them! It will mean nothing to them and it will cheapen it. But as often as they repent, forgive.
Forgive Intentionally
What if you cannot find it in your heart to forgive? What do you do then? You in an act of faith before God get on your knees in an act of contrition and with your mouth confess forgiveness for them. But I don’t mean it! Then keep seeking God, forgiving them with your mouth till you do. How will I know when I have reached it?
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)
When the anger, wrath, and evil speaking that fills your heart (even if it never gets to your mouth) is replaced with kindness towards them, with tender and loving feelings. You have compassion on them; you have no more bitterness in your hearts towards them. You by the grace of God have made it.
How does this help them?
If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee. (Proverbs 25:21-22)
The high priest on the Day of Atonement was to take his censer, to fill it with “coals of fire,” and then to put the incense thereon for a sweet-smelling savor. So it is here. The first emotion in another caused by the good done to him may be one of burning shame, but the shame will do its work and the heart also will burn, and prayer and confession and thanksgiving will rise as incense to the throne of God. Thus, “we shall overcome evil with good.”[vii]
Wrap Up
So we forgive, when it is easy and when it is hard because God said we must. But we do it His way, and not cheapen it by doing it our own way. Forgive vertically, that is between God and us now, no delay, show kindness and love to those who have wronged us but do not express to them the forgiveness they have. Do not cheapen it, which is not good for them or us.
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[i] Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words, Copyright © 1985, Thomas Nelson Publishers.
[ii] Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words, Copyright © 1985, Thomas Nelson Publishers.
[iii] Biblesoft’s New Exhaustive Strong’s Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright © 1994, 2003 Biblesoft, Inc. and International Bible Translators, Inc.
[iv] Biblesoft’s New Exhaustive Strong’s Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright © 1994, 2003 Biblesoft, Inc. and International Bible Translators, Inc.
[v] Biblesoft’s New Exhaustive Strong’s Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright © 1994, 2003 Biblesoft, Inc. and International Bible Translators, Inc.
[vi] Reformation Study Bible, RC Sproul General Editor, note for Hebrews 8:12, pg 1788, copyright © 2005 Ligonier Ministires, Lake Mary, FL USA.
[vii] Albert Barnes Notes on the Bible, Electronic Edition, E-Sword,
