Title: The Gift of Singleness
Text: 1 Corinthians 7:25-40
Truth: Singleness offers advantages to those whom God has gifted that way.
Aim: I want to promote the value of singleness and encourage seizing the advantages.
INTRODUCTION
Playwright Maria Hedley had her fill of terrible dates. Most of the dates she went on she thought the guys would be great candidates but they were totally unsatisfying. She got sick of her own taste and decided that fate couldn’t mess up her love life anymore than she could, and it might just do a better job. So she decided to take her personal tastes out of the equation and put aside all her preconceptions. Instead—as she vowed to her roommate one morning—for the next year she would date every person who asked her out. In the past, Maria had refused a deli worker’s invitation because she assumed he hadn’t read enough books. A taxi driver’s offer was refused because Maria thought they wouldn’t have anything in common, and she said no to short guys though she was short.
All of that changed. It would be the Year of Yes. She ended up dating half of NYC. There was a homeless guy who thought he was Jimi Hendrix, a subway conductor, a mommy-obsessed millionaire, even a woman who asked Maria to have her baby, a 70-year-old salsa dancer, a Colombian Cowboy/Handyman, her high school nemesis, whom she’d spent seven years rejecting, and a mime. He proposed with hand gestures and body language.
She tells about this in her book The Year of Yes. Maria said she went looking for a new kind of love, and found a new kind of life. She advises making an effort to talk to new people. Their stories can enrich your life.
There are a group of people who patiently listen to my sermons on marriage, remarriage, and divorce. They are the singles. The singles include the never married, the formerly married but divorced, and the widowed. Paul now addresses this group in the church at Corinth. Like Maria Hedley, the Christians at Corinth had some interesting ideas about the single life.
In chapters 7-11 Paul is responding to specific questions the church has written to Paul to answer. These are not theoretical but very practical questions. They ask about marriage, remarriage, divorce, singleness, worship, and spiritual gifts. All these questions boil down to a single question: What do we do now in these areas since we became Christians? We want to be spiritual. Should we abstain from sex in marriage? Should we divorce our unbelieving mate? Is being single like Paul and Jesus more spiritual? What do we do now since we became Christians? What does Christ want my life to look like? That is a good question. That is a question that all of us should be asking.
Maria Hedley’s experiment gave her a new perspective about her singleness and the things she valued. Paul’s word to the Corinthian church accomplishes the same thing. Paul says that singleness offers advantages to those whom God has gifted that way.
Paul’s opinion that singleness is an equal lifestyle to marriage was a huge shift in thinking. In the Jewish culture of the first century you must marry. Singleness made you a second-class citizen. Some say it hasn’t changed that much today when it comes to the church. Churches host marriage seminars and parenting classes but very little time or money is given to ministering to the unique needs of Christian singles. But the Word of God looks with favor on the single life. Its most famous heroes—Jesus, Paul, John the Baptist—were all single.
One more word about the context before we look at the text. What Paul is actually talking about is celibacy and not singleness. Paul teaches that the ability to live single without the pressure for sexual gratification is a gift from God. If you can’t live that way, he advises marriage.
All of us need to understand what Paul says about the single lifestyle because singleness is an issue for everyone. According to the U.S. Census married-couple households have slipped from 80% in the 1950’s to 50% today. According to the Wall Street Journal there are more “single-adult” households than two-parent households. (Brian Bill, sermoncentral.com) Of course, there is singleness before marriage and either upon divorce or death of a mate many will know singleness again. What does God want us to know about living as a single Christian?
Singleness offers advantages to those whom God has gifted to be single. What are those advantages?
I. SINGLENESS IS BLESSED BY GOD (1 COR. 7:25-27).
Paul begins to answer the next question in v. 25. Read.
The word “virgin” refers to those who have never been married. They have not engaged in sexual activity. Here’s Paul’s word for single people.
When Paul says he has “no command from the Lord,” he simply means that Jesus did not specifically address this issue. But he says you can trust what I am saying to be God’s Word on this issue. The basis of their confidence in Paul’s authority is God has shown mercy toward Paul and made him an apostle of Christ. This is the authoritative Word of God.
Read v. 26-27.
The issue is not good or bad. If you are married, don’t seek a divorce. If you are single, don’t seek to marry. God’s blessing is on both stations in life. Look at vv. 7—8—38.
You get married, that’s good. You remain single; that’s even better. You are not missing out on God’s best if you are single.
I spent some time this week reading web sites dedicated to the Christian single and their lifestyle. This gave me a glimpse into the frustrations and struggles of Christian singles. Here I am a man married almost 34 years to my high school sweetheart telling Christian singles their life is blessed. Yet from what I read many singles see their singleness as a burden and long for what they see in loving Christian couples.
When I say that singleness is a blessing from God, I’m not speaking from experience. There’s no reason to trust me. What do I know about it? When I say that singleness is a blessing from God, I’m speaking from revelation. I’m telling you what God’s perspective is on singleness. He says it’s a blessing. It could be that the reason it doesn’t feel like a blessing is we believe the world’s ideal more than we believe Him.
For example, Paul is sitting in prison in Rome. He writes back to the church at Philippi, “I have learned to be content.” Sitting in that prison with all its hardships, Paul was more blessed than nearly everyone outside of the prison. Another example from Paul’s life is when he repeatedly begged God to remove the thorn in his flesh. Wouldn’t the better life to be without a thorn in the flesh? God told him no. God’s grace would be sufficient. This so radically changed Paul’s perspective on life that Paul said he would glory in his weaknesses because it meant he had a deeper experience with Christ. Figure that one out!
The angel comes to the virgin Mary and says she is going to have a baby apart from the participation of a man. She says (now listen to this), “I belong to You. Let it happen as you say.” She faced the real possibility of the loss of marriage. She would bear the stigma of an adulteress all her life. What bursts from her heart? “I am blessed of all women.”
I can only imagine what it must be like to be single and want to give your love to another, but you can’t find a good man or a good woman. I can only imagine what it must be like to be married 50 years to the love of your life and then be forced to face the future without your partner. I can’t speak from experience. I don’t want to be insensitive or superficial. But I can tell you from revelation, if we would embrace whatever station He has brought us to at this moment and learn contentment, He will bless us.
Singleness is blessed by God. Another advantage is singleness is less burdened by life.
II. SINGLENESS IS LESS BURDENED BY LIFE (1 COR. 7:26-30.
One of the strong reasons for Paul recommending a single lifestyle is found in v. 26a. Read.
Everyone is stressed. The government is stressed. Businesses are stressed. Citizens are stressed. Everybody is stressed. We’re stressed medically, psychologically, and spiritually. There’s a lot of stress today. If I understand my Bible correctly it is not going to get easier but more difficult.
Paul refers to the hardship that is coming because they are Christians. Paul had experienced beatings, jailing, and death threats because of his promotion of the Christian faith. Ten years from the composition of this letter, Nero would perfect his cruelty in torturing Christians. He wrapped Christians in animal skins and put them in the Coliseum. Then he would release ravenous wild beasts that would tear them apart limb-from-limb. He would wrap them in animal skins and coat them with wax. They would be tied to poles and used as torches to light his garden at night.
We are surprised by persecution. That goes to show how protected we have been from persecution in this country. Much of the Christian world knows discrimination and persecution because of their faith. At the end of the beatitudes where Jesus describes the blessed person, He ends with a double blessing for the persecuted. Jesus expected when we lived a devoted life this world would treat us like we were Sarah Palin.
What’s this have to do with being single? Everything is intensified when you are married. Think about our international missionaries. A man is called to a foreign country. He takes with him his wife, who leaves her parents, and children, who leave their culture and grandparents. At a certain point those children have to leave home and live at a boarding school in order to receive a proper education. I’ve shared with you letters of missionaries whose children had rocks thrown at them by the children of the village. They were screamed at and told they weren’t wanted in that town.
The stress for living the Christian life is greater on marriages and families than it is on singles. Singleness is less burdened by life. There’s less stress in general. Look at what he says in v. 28. Read.
Paul says those who marry face many “troubles” in life. The word means “pressed together.” The pressures are more intense.
He goes on to say that from an eternal perspective this time will be short. Single people may think this status in life just keeps dragging on. But the big picture, from an eternal perspective, is it is short. In this brief time marriage brings additional pressures. You’re at an advantage to not be so attached to this world.
Look at the examples Paul gives. Remember the context? Life is short. Jesus is coming. Don’t get so tied to relationships that they become more important to you than your relationship with Jesus Christ. Jesus said in Matthew 10:37, “Anyone that loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone that loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” One of the marks of Christian discipleship is there is no relationship more important than your relationship with Jesus. A Christian single does not have to deal with the competitive love of a mate or children.
In v. 30 he is not promoting a cold, lifeless, emotionless life. But so many of our emotions are attached to our marriage and family even though our first devotion is to Christ. Take off the table a wife or husband or children, and you have freed up a great deal of energy and emotion that can be directed toward Jesus Christ. They tell us that the unemployment rate is 9.5%, and it is expected to go higher. Imagine you are the husband and chief breadwinner in the family. I heard a man interviewed on the radio who lost his job and home. His family was living in a tent at a lake. He said he never imagined this happening to his kids.
There is something about marriage and family that causes you to be more attached to this world. As a family gets larger, the wife persuades the husband to shop for a bigger house. That’s a bigger payment. This may require more overtime. The pickup has to be traded in for a minivan. Savings for college have to be set aside. A single person doesn’t have many of these pressures of the world.
One final advantage I will mention.
III. SINGLENESS BETTER SERVES CHRIST (1 COR. 7:32-40)
Read vv. 32-34.
Singleness is free of family distractions.
The word concern is not talking about bad things. It refers to things that take your attention away from something else. I spent a couple of hours at the emergency room a few Sundays back. I just got home from evening service and was changing into my comfortable clothes. Carol comes and tells me I need to go to the hospital that our son-in-law Tommy has hurt himself and my daughter has taken him to the hospital. I spent the next couple of hours at Norman Regional. Now I should be there and I wanted to be with my kids, but I was there instead of elsewhere because I am a family man.
If you have children you discover that you still have homework. There are school and sports events and other extra curricular activities to attend. You’re glad to do it. You want to do it. That’s what you signed up for when you got married. But that is time, energy, and money that could have gone elsewhere.
Singleness is freer to pursue holiness.
A married man is going to give thought and effort to how to please his wife and children. He should do that. He wants to do that. But if you don’t have that responsibility, you can give more of yourself to thinking and doing what pleases God.
Singleness provides an example of devotion.
Paul is not saying these things to restrict them. If you want to marry and find someone right to marry, by all means marry. There is nothing wrong with that. But a Christian singles can demonstrate through their life what it truly means to be on mission for Christ. It can be so appealing that others will be challenged to live a life of loyalty for Christ.
Let me summarize verses 36-40 this way: pick a team. Either marry the girl or let her off the hook. Get your partner from your team. Marry a Christian.
Only about 10% of people will remain single all of life. In other words, this station in life will change for many singles. But the single life has advantages that God doesn’t want you to miss. You are not junior varsity. You’re on the main team. Take advantage of the opportunities of singleness. God honors singleness.
CONCLUSION
Did you hear about the Israeli woman that wanted to do something very nice for her mother? She bought her mother a brand new mattress and threw out the old one. The problem was her mother had hidden her entire life savings in the old mattress. It was approximately $1million!
When the daughter found out what she had done, she immediately and frantically went looking for the mattress. But it had already been picked up by the garbage collectors. She contacted three different landfills but searches turned up nothing.
One landfill manager said he’d increased security at the dump, but finding one mattress among 2500 tons of garbage dumped there every day would be very slim.
Every choice has consequences. All of us can look back on a decision that we wish we could have back so we could choose better. If you are married, Paul says, you have some advantages. If you are single, he says you too have some advantages. Don’t throw away what God wants to do in your life and through your life at this stage. There are riches He has for you. Things He can do now that won’t be possible in another stage of life.
Seek His wisdom. Pray about it. You might say even sleep on it! There are a million reasons to be convinced that right now, in this stage of life, God has something good that he wants to do in you and through you. Don’t throw it away.
PRAYER
INVITATION
Let me ask you a question. Is it important what you believe?
I read about a suicide bomber in Afghanistan that changed his mind after police confronted him. He decided not to go through with his suicide mission after seeing people go into a mosque to pray. As he was taking off his vest, it accidentally exploded and he was killed.
Let me ask you that question again. Is it important what you believe? Some things we believe aren’t so important, but others determine whether you live or die. Some determine whether you live in heaven or hell.
What do you believe about Jesus? There are more consequences related to what you believe about Jesus than any other belief in life. Heaven or hell is determined by what you believe about Jesus.
The great advantage of this moment is God is giving you an opportunity for heaven. Repent of sin. Trust him alone as Savior and God.
