SERMON BRIEF
Date Written: June 21, 2010
Date Preached: Jun 20, 2010;
Church: Oak Park Baptist Church
FOUNDATIONAL ELEMENTS
Series: The Importance of Family
Title: LOVE – The Key Ingredient to Family
Text: John 3:16
16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
The family unit was set forth by God as the bldg block for ALL of society and within the family God has set forth roles for each member, and although the roles are different all are important and there are NO members of the family that are superior in God’s eyes…
So many times we jump to the conclusion that because God placed the man as the head of the family that God believes the man to be superior to his wife or children. This could NOT be further from the truth. It is NOT that God believes men to be superior, but it is that God has called men to be the leaders of the family unit. It is the role God has chosen for men.
Likewise, in just the opposite direction, there are many who believe that because God has chosen the woman to be in the support role and that Scripture instructs women to submit to their husbands… they jump to the conclusion that God is somehow ‘anti-woman’ and that women are somehow inferior to men in God’s eyes.
I am here to tell you that God desires us to fulfill our roles that HE has established and NOT to make any judgments on what role God assigned to what gender. This was the Creator’s choice, and He does not need our permission to designate the best role for us…
We have the tendency to think that God, somehow does not know what He has done… But God is keenly aware of His plan and God is keenly aware that there are many, many men and women who have violated the roles He established… for their own personal and selfish reasons.
This morning I want us to take a look into Paul’s 2nd letter to the Thessalonican Church. Paul writes that he rejoices and commends this church because of all “the love of every one of you for one another is increasing.”
Paul shares with them in his letter that he believes that it is the will of God that all believers are called to grow in love for each another, and that this should especially be true within our own family circle...that is the family circle of the local church. Here we find Paul sharing at least 3 different types of love should be experienced within the family unit.
The 1st type of love we can speak about is the ‘romantic type of love’ that inspires people to fall in love and to get married. In fact, in our society today, although it is not as pronounced of a stigma as it was 20 or more yrs ago… IT [falling in love and getting married] is something that is simply expected to happen to young people and when it doesn’t, many think the worst about the situation.
Now this romantic love I am speaking about is a type of love that falls within the instinctive or base nature of humanity. Science has even been able to map it out in our brains, as ‘love’ is seen by science as merely a chemical reaction within the male and female of a species that attracts them to one another.
I have heard it said that this romantic type of love is actually a state of mind by which a man sees things from a skewed perspective. He does not tend to see things as they truly ARE, but actually begins to see things just as they are NOT! Have you ever heard the phrase, “Love is BLIND!”?
Like me I am sure you have spoken with some young couple who have HUGE dreams and they are fully convinced that they can LIVE on love. However, from past experience we know that any marriage based solely on romantic love will soon fail.
A 2nd kind of love that is essential within the family is ‘respect love.’ This kind of love is brotherly love, or what the Greeks called ‘phileo’ love. We get our word Philadelphia from this word…that is why we call Philadelphia – The City of Brotherly Love.
This kind of love is based on worth and integrity. This kind of love is based on character and reliability. This is the kind of love that men or women show when they make the choice to fight and die for their country. Patriotic love is a form of this type of love.
It is the kind of love shown on the battlefield when one soldier jumps on a grenade or takes a bullet to save the life of one or more of his comrades. We have story after story of this happening on the battlefield countless times as this type of love for others is shown.
This ‘respect type of love’ is a social love that exists between friends. In the realm of the marriage this is the type of love where husbands and wives like each other as friends on top of and beyond mere romantic love for one another.
This love is also revealed in the church today as we are called to love each other in this manner! We are called to love each other…warts and all! When you think about it… it is the ones who have all the “warts” who need our love the most! We are called to love as Christ loved…
The 3rd kind of love that is essential for the well being of the family is a ‘help love.’ This type of love is demonstrated in the sacrificial love that God demonstrated in the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ to die for our sin.
This ‘help love’ that we see in Christ from God, is also the type of love that a parent has for their children. Every parent desires what is best for their children and they are willing to do anything to show that love and protect them.
Now when we view these three types of love from the perspective of the family, we can come to the conclusion that… “happy is the home where mom and dad share a romantic love for one another.” It is good to see your parents romantically in love with one another…but it doesn’t stop there does it?
EVEN better is the home where mom and dad not only love each other with a romantic love, but they also genuinely respect and like each other with a ‘respecting type love!’ This reveals to the children that mom and dad believe they have worth in this life.
But really, the truly happiest home is where every area of thought and activity in the family is saturated with a ‘helping and sacrificial love’ for one another. Where dad is looking out for the needs of all the family, where mom is constantly seeking out how she can serve her family, and where the children are seeking to obey their parents and serve their fellow family members.
I don’t think that you would disagree with me today when I say, IN today’s world everyone needs a little MORE love, wouldn’t you agree? But what I believe to be even MORE important than us all receiving a little more love is the fact that every person in our world today needs to SHOW more love to those around them!
In taking this thought and applying it to the family we can see that every family needs more love and each family needs to love more!
Well that’s just great pastor! It is easy to say that we NEED to love each other more! It is easy to say that our families DO need more love in them…but how can we do this?
This morning I am going to share with you 4 steps on how we as fathers… and you as family members… Mom’s, brothers and sisters… how YOU can love more and our families can have more love in them! And how we can know the true love of Christ in our families!
In looking how we can have more love in our families and how our families can love each other more I can see 4 steps that we can take to bring the love back into our families!
The 1st step is the critical and key step that we all must take before we can move onto the next 3. Without the first step, all of the others will NOT help you. The first step is the foundation for all the others and without it all the others crumble.
The 1st step is that we allow the love of God for each family member be recognized and appreciated. [quote John 3:16]
16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
For God so loved the world – that means husband, wife, son, daughter, brother, sister, parent, grandparent…God loves us ALL…
Every member of our family, no matter how much they stray, no matter how much they cause us heartache… ALL of them are the object of God’s supreme and sacrificial love. God loves us and wants to provide for us and protect us. He wants each of us to experience HIS wonderful grace, forgiveness and salvation.
Now because God loves each member of our family, we TOO need to love each member of our families as He does… this is because if God cares for our family then so should we. God sees their worth and so should we.
But how does God love us! We can see it present all through Scripture but let’s go to God’s word and witness His love for us first hand! We see God’s love demonstrated early in Scripture when God says, “Let us create man in our own image!” God loves us because we are His creation.
We again see God’s love for His creation when He sends a deliverer to Egypt to deliver the children of Israel. God told Moses to tell Pharaoh, “Let my people go!” God loved them and delivered them from bondage.
We can go to Romans 5:6-8 [read verses and comment]
6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.
7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Here we can see where God loved us even when we were still his enemy!
We can go to 1 Cor 13 where the apostle Paul describes God’s love in exquisite detail. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast, it bears all things, love never fails.
Finally we can go to the book of Revelation where we find God’s ultimate love for those who have chosen Him expressed in their ultimate victory over death and Satan and their coming into eternal life with God!
However, even though God’s love must be recognized and appreciated within the family for us to love each other the right way …we must recognize the 2nd step here in this process and how important this 2nd step is… the 2nd step is that we are called by God to love ourselves… We should love ourselves properly, positively and permanently.
It only stands to reason that if YOU do not properly love and respect yourself, it is impossible for you to love and appreciate others!
When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandments were, he told them that there were 2 great commandments. He said that we are to love God with all our heart, soul, body, mind and strength, and he also said that “…you shall love your neighbor as yourself…”
Jesus was affirming that we should have a proper love for ourselves. In that passage many refer to it speaking of how we are to love each other, but Jesus’ point was that as humans we have a love for our own lives and dreams and desires…we must love others just as much…even more than we love ourselves.
Think about this for just a second… IF you have a low view yourself OR suffer from a sense of low self-esteem, it makes sense that you will look upon others like you look upon yourself!
How can we love ourselves? Well we can each accept the fact and rejoice in the truth that God has chosen to love US! We can get excited about the fact that God is concerned about US and that God desires great things for US.
When we come to realize this, it helps us also to respond to the truth that God loves OTHER members of our family as well… and it will help us to love those ‘others’ as we should.
We are to realize and recognize God’s love for each family member and have a healthy love for ourselves… those are the first 2 steps to a healthy and loving family.
The 3rd step that I see this morning is a bit more difficult… it is a step of ACTION on our part! The 3rd step is that we must put our love for others into practice or into action! First within our families and then to others.
A Sunday School teacher was kind to a young lady in his class. He encouraged her and affirmed her in some decisions that she was facing. Sometime later when this young lady was doing a craft project in her church group she made her Sunday School teacher a beautiful plaque that contained the letters T-A-L-K with a message printed in beautiful color below the letters.
The letters T-A-L-K stood for the message “Try A Little Kindness”. This was the young girls way of saying thank you to her SS teacher. You see because of this Sunday School teacher’s ministry of being kind and showing love, even when it was not necessarily beneficial to him…this young lady had been blessed and touched.
Let me ask you a question today. How long has it been since you tried a little kindness on your family? On your spouse? On your children? On your brother? On your sister? On your parents? When is the last time you put your love INTO action when it pertains to your family?
Kindness is a tangible expression of the LOVE in your heart… of the love you SAY you have… Love expressed through actions speaks loudly… We must bring ACTION to our love with our families… Men it is NOT enough for you to tell your wife that you love her, although that is very important… but words are empty if they are not back up by action!! Show your wife you love her!!! Putting your love into action is the 3rd step, but…
The 4th step is really an extension of the 3rd step… it is taking the 3rd step to another level. We can bring so much more love into our families… our families would be so much happier and filled with joy if we were to practice the act of forgiving each other! [read Eph 4:31-5:2]
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. 1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Now Paul was speaking here about the CHURCH family but we know this applies in all situations for ALL believers… so this is applicable to our physical families as well! We all know that our physical family members can and will bring pain to each another from time to time… this is something that is just GONNA happen! So the solution to this problem is that we must learn to practice forgiveness of our family members! We must put forgiveness into ACTION!
Let me ask you a question… Do you know what Forgiveness is? Forgiveness is a gift in which the injured party surrenders their right to get back or get even with the one who has done them wrong… they forfeit that right to strike back and they are willing instead to let it go and restore the relationship to one of love.
Now I don’t know about you but this is a very difficult thing for humans to do. We tend to want to hold on… we tend to want to cling to our pain… we tend to desire the act of seeing the other person hurt as we have been hurt! Many times even when we voice forgiveness to the offending party… we harbor hard feelings and resentment toward them!
Forgiveness is a HARD thing to do… it is the act of letting things go and restoring relationships to that of mutual respect, love and understanding between parties. This is a hard teaching and very difficult for us to do… but it is something we are called to do on a continuing basis! Scripture tells us that if we are not willing to forgive… that God is not willing to forgive us!
Now I believe that there are many ways we can increase the practice of love in our families. BUT this act of forgiveness is possibly the hardest thing we can ever do… And for us to be ABLE to do this, as believers, we have to be able to fully trust the Holy Spirit of God to pour out God’s love within our hearts so that we CAN forgive as we should! [read Rom 5:5]
5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
If we would increase our love within the family, we need to let the love of God for US become more real and more personal. For us to multiply and increase the love in our families we must let go…we must realize that God and God alone can help us with this love.
Really if you want to love yourself and your family and all others around you more and more as a Christian should…you must surrender your heart to Him TOTALLY and COMPLETELY!
Dad’s… this morning I know that you know that the Bible calls the Father to be the leaders of your family! You are called to lead your family with these types of love and in these 4 steps of putting that love into action.
Are you willing to do this? Are you willing to step out in faith and be the leader God has called you to be? Are you willing to be the Dad and Husband God wants you to be? Are you willing to love as you are called to love?
This morning you have heard about the types of love that will increase the happiness and joy in your families. Today you have heard how this same love was demonstrated by God in His Son, Jesus Christ! God loves you and wants you to be a part of His family!
So this morning, if you do not have a relationship with Jesus Christ, I can promise you that you can’t have this kind of love that I have shared with you without knowing Jesus Christ as your Savior!
But this morning He is calling on you to come… He is calling on You to step out and accept Him as His Savior and Lord. But you are going to have be willing to step aside from your old life! You will have to be willing to allow God control in your life! You must be willing to surrender everything to Him.
Are you ready this morning? I know that God is ready for you to come to Him. As Rachel comes to play our hymn of invitation, Donnie and I will be standing here…won’t you come?
Hymn of invitation #275 I Surrender All
