A Father’s Anointing
Scriptures: Matthew 1:18-20; 24-25; 13:54-55a; Ephesians 6:4
Introduction
Twenty-two years ago I became a father for the first time. I was scared, nervous, apprehensive, confused and excited all at the same time. Here was this baby that had my DNA within her body and now I had the responsibility to teach her things only a father could ‘potentially” teach. Just thinking about it made me think “What was I thinking?” I did not know jack and there was little that I thought I could instill in her at that time. Five years later I became a father for the second time. I was not as scared, nervous, apprehensive, or confused, but I was just as excited. Although I did not know a lot, by this time I had a few years of fatherhood under my belt so I figured I did have some things I could teach my second daughter.
I love being a father. Living in a house with all females (besides the dog who shares my traumatic experiences) is interesting. Being the father of two daughters is like going to the dentist and getting a root canal complete with the laughing gas. There are moments when it hurts to see some of the things they do but there are other times when you’re laughing so hard you forget the pain. (I guess it can be said for every father whether you have daughters or sons.) My wife tells me that my daughters have me wrapped around their fingers, but I deny that and really do not believe it because my daughters told me that it was not true. I have been told that my daughters can get almost anything from me. Again, I strongly deny that because my daughters have asked for things and I have said no – sometimes. Although there have been times when I felt like an ATM machine, there have been many other times when I have felt like the most important man in their life – which should be right since neither of them are married. There have been times early on when I had to make emergency runs to the store for those embarrassing check out moments at the register that today doesn’t even bother me. All in all I would not trade my daughters for anything.
My feelings for my daughters are not unlike every good father’s feelings for their children. Although fathers are vastly different from mothers and show emotions and feelings differently, it does not mean that the emotions and feelings are totally absent. A father walking in his anointing is a powerful force within the home and even though we rarely get it completely right everyday, the grace of God allows our family to make special considerations for us. They accept our quirks, our misguided judgments (pranks) – like playing “pull my finger” with their kids. They accept our moodiness and times of stress. They accept our failures and offer us a hand to help us back up. They accept the fact that we can be emotionless during the “touching” scene of their romantic movie or over overjoyed and screaming when that touchdown is made. They accept the fact that although we are different from other fathers, we are theirs. This understanding keeps us trying harder and harder each day to become better.
As I was working on this message earlier in the week, I came across an article in the USA Today newspaper. The article was titled “Dad’s Pregnancy Hormones” and was written by Liz Szabo. In the article she covers those exact initial feelings I had when I received the confirmation that Nikki was pregnant. Here is what the article said: “Although men may not be aware of it, they actually undergo hormonal changes as they prepare for fatherhood…..At first those hormones tell them to panic, or at least pay attention. Levels of a stress hormone called cortisol tend to spike about four to six weeks after men learn they’re going to be fathers, subsiding as the mother’s pregnancy progresses….About three weeks before the baby arrives, levels of testosterone, sometimes called the ‘male hormone’ associated with competitiveness, aggression and sex drive, fall by roughly a third…so a baby is more likely to survive if Dad is at home to help…..” The article says more, but I wanted you to understand how God designed men. He designed us so that when we discover that we are going to be a father, our hormones change so that we can become more nurturing, supportive and caring in order to help take care of the baby and increase their chances of survival. Fathers play a vital role in the development and well-being of a child and this is what I wish to speak to this morning.
I. To Instill A Sense of Purpose
I believe the primary responsibility of fathers who walk in their anointing is to instill within their children a sense of purpose and a sense of identity. Remember, what a child sees within their father has a different impact on them versus what they see in their mother. For example, if a daughter sees her father hitting her mother, she has a greater chance of allowing her husband to hit her. If a son grows up watching his father doing everything his mother says, he has a greater chance of marrying a woman who will treat him the same way. It is an amazing thing that happens when kids watch their fathers. Now please understand that there are exceptions to every rule so what I just shared with you may not be the case in your specific circumstance.
Every person needs to have a sense of purpose and clearly understand their identity. Even though our society carries different roles for men and women, it is the father’s anointing that really impacts this within a child. Let me attempt to explain it this way. If a father and mother both tell their child that they will be a success, it is the opinion of the father that most often carries the greater impact – unless there is an adverse relationship between the father and his child. It probably carries the great impact because the father probably says it twice a year while the mother says in constantly. That one difference increases the importance of the statement. This morning I am talking best case scenario where the father is in the house, doing his best to help raise his children. A father’s impact on a child’s life as it relates to their purpose can be seen in Jesus’ relationship with His father. We do not know a lot about Jesus’ father Joseph, but let me show you a couple of things that you may have missed previously. Matthew 1:18-20, 24-25 records the following: “Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: after His mother was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly. But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit……Then Joseph, being aroused from sleep, did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took to him his wife and did not know her till she had brought forth her firstborn Son. And he called His name Jesus.”
The first thing we see is that Joseph was a just man. When it became known to Joseph that Mary was pregnant, he was going to separate from her privately so that she would not be stoned to death for adultery (even though they were still in the engagement phase of the relationship.) After the angel appeared to him, Joseph married Mary and she remained a virgin until after Jesus was born. Although we do not know a lot about Joseph, here is one thing that we do know and we need to pay close attention to this. Even though there were people who knew that Jesus was not the biological son of Joseph, Joseph named Him and raised Him as if He was. When Jesus had grown into a man, the people from His hometown referred to Him as the “carpenter’s son.” Look at Matthew 13:54-55a. “When He had come to His own country, He taught them in their synagogue, so that they were astonished and said, ‘Where did this Man get this wisdom and these mighty works? Is this not the carpenter’s son?”
This question is significant because Jesus really was not the carpenter’s son as Joseph never really “adopted” Jesus in the legal sense that we know of. What Joseph did was marry Jesus’ mother, became His stepfather and raised Him as his own blood son. He did his job so well that Jesus was known as his son – no questions asked. Even those who probably knew that Jesus was not Joseph’ biological son probably had forgotten this fact by the time Jesus was grown. The people who knew Him saw nothing special about Him, despite His gifts and knowledge, all they saw was Joseph’s son. We also know that Jesus was a carpenter, just like His father. Joseph, in his small contribution to Jesus’ life, instilled within him a sense of purpose and with that a sense of identity. He gave Jesus an example of a good earthly father and helped to settle Him in His identity. Let’s look at another Scripture that you are all very familiar with.
Ephesians 6:4 says “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” I have shared with you on many occasions what this verse means. It does not mean that we cannot make our children angry because there will be plenty of times that our children will be angry with us when they do not get their way. This verse speaks to how we raise our children; what we put before them; and how we treat them. It speaks to our job role – not just being the provider for the family, but being actively involved in the raising of the kids. What happens to a child when a father walks out on the family? The child generally grows up angry. What happens to the child when their father is never around like all of the other kids fathers are? They will generally grow up and sometimes will repeat the same process with their child which impacts the child’s self-esteem. Most of us know someone who did not have a good father figure in the home and the negative impact that it had on the individuals we know. Consider the wisdom of Solomon in these versus about fathers:
Proverb 3:12: “For whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.” Part of giving a child a sense of purpose comes through genuine, well deserved discipline. I am not talking about beating or punishing a child every time they disappoint you, but when it is needed. When fathers do not do this, it tells the child – without words being spoken – that the father does not care much about them. When a father cares, he is willing to provide discipline “appropriately.” There are many men in prison because their fathers did not provide this and these men speak to the fact that they wished that their fathers had disciplined them when they needed it.
Proverb 4:1: “Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, and give attention that you may gain understanding.” A father can only give instruction that a child will receive when that father has a relationship with that child. There are adults around most of us who would tell you that they would not listen to anything their father said because of what happened within their relationship when they were growing up. But where this relationship exists, that child will respect the counsel of the father as long as the father is alive because of the relationship.
Proverbs 19:26: “He who assaults his father and drives his mother away is a shameful and disgraceful son.” We have all read reports of children attacking and sometimes killing their own parents. There are parents in our age who have raised children that they are scared of. The child argues with them, cusses them and will even raise their hand at them. God does not look upon this lightly, and short of their being other issues going on with the child, it speaks to the role that the father played. Most of my adult life I outweighed my father by at least 50 pounds. Even though I was bigger, it never crossed my mind to hit him and it was not necessarily because of my love and affection for him – although that was part of it. I was scared of God and what He would do if I hit my father and then I was scared of my father. My father told me once when I was smelling myself – you know when you become a teenager and think you actually know more than your parents – that if I ever decided to come at him I would regret it because fathers do not fight by the same rules as kids. He was smiling at me when he said it, but it was not the smile that begs you to come and give him a hug. I believed my father meant exactly what he said and I chose not to find out.
There are several Scriptures in Proverbs that speaks to the final results of children who curses, robs, abuses and do other things to their parents. If you want to know how God looks upon your actions as it relates to your relationship with your parent, read the book of Proverbs. God does not take it lightly when children mistreat their parents – regardless of how old you are.
Conclusion
Let me wrap this up. There are many things that a father does for their children besides going to work and providing for their family. While working and providing for the family is important, the most important thing a father can do while still accomplishing the latter is to spend time training his child so that they will grow up with a sense of purpose about their life. I do not mean that the father chooses their career path and makes their daily decisions for them, but that the father instills such a confidence within their child that nothing shakes it. When they fail they know they can get back up and try again. When they look in the mirror they can be proud of the face that looks back. They can be proud to known as their father’s child.
The greatest gift that I have ever received as a father did not come from a store nor was it made on the computer; it was an action that was completed. One of my daughters dropped a potential boyfriend because he did not treat her like I treat her or her mom. That was a gift. One of my daughters told me that the man she marries must treat her like I treat her mom; that is a gift. One of my daughters still holds my hand when we are out in public – that is a gift. One of my daughters spends half her life on Facebook and chooses to include me in it, I think that is a gift – but I need to check my Facebook page to make sure it is an appropriate gift. Both of my daughters love to hang out with me at the movies – that is a gift. I always have someone to go to the movies with if Nikki does not want to go. Finally both of my daughters have received praise from the people that they work with and work for because of their work ethic. That is a gift. I am not trying to embarrass my kids, but these are the tell all signs that even though I had some moments as a father where I was not the best father, they survived, others see potential within them and most important to me is they still wish to be in my presence and for that I am truly blessed.
I wish each of you fathers a very blessed Father’s Day. This is the first day of the rest of your life as a father. If you have not gotten some things right in the past, you still have time. Your children need you in their life – not just as the disciplinarian, but as someone who will take them under your wings and help them to become the person God designed them to be. No one can do it like you. No one can secure their self image and purpose like you. If you do not do it you will miss out on the most important job you have as a father. For all of you young men who will one day become a father, remember just because your body is old enough for sex, it does not mean you’re old enough to be a father. Keep that in mind when you’re tempted to stray versus waiting on the one God has for you – but that will be a message for later. God bless you and keep you.
