Given by Sterling C. Franklin
Fathers’ Day: June 20, 2010
Scripture Reading: Psalm 128
Psalm 128:1-6 [ESV]
1 (A SONG OF ASCENTS)
Blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in his ways!
2 You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you.
3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.
4 Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD.
5 The LORD bless you from Zion! May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life!
6 May you see your children’s children! Peace be upon Israel!
Intro
Our Scripture reading was from Psalm 128. Psalm 128 is a Song of Ascents, meaning that people would sing this on the way up to worship at the Temple in Jerusalem. Topographically speaking, the Temple was on a highly elevated mountain, so people would literally ’go up’ to worship in the Temple. In this Psalm, the reflection given is on a man who fears the Lord. This type of man is blessed, though it is in the intensive form (Pual form -- intensive), so with the (binyan) form in mind, the man who fears the LORD is REEEALLY BLESSED.
Today is, as most of you know, Father’s Day. For some of us, our fathers are still alive. Others of us may have seen their passing. Maybe some of us are not on the best of terms with our fathers, while others of us are sitting next to them. Many of the men who raised us fall into the Psalm 128 category -- those who fear God wholeheartedly. On the other side of things, perhaps some of our fathers do not follow the Lord yet. Regardless of our situation today, we are going to reflect on the attributes on a godly father.
Our text today is one describing proper family order for a family of believers -- Ephesians 5:22 through 6:4. In this passage, Paul talks about a few important attributes of a modern man after God’s heart. From the text, it’s worth noting today that godly fathers Lead, Love, and Raise Right.
For those who are fathers, may it be a encouraging challenge. For those who are men and not fathers, may it be profitable in our continuing development of maturity. For all of us who have fathers in whatever stage or situation of life, may it be a blessing. Before we read our main text, let us pray,
Opening Prayer
Organizational Sentence: Godly Fathers Lead, Love, and Raise Right.
Text: Ephesians 5:22-6:4
Ephesians 5:22-6:4 [ESV]
5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
5:24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
5:26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
5:27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
5:28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
5:29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
5:30 because we are members of his body.
5:31 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
5:32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
5:33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
6:2 "Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise),
6:3 "that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land."
6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Working Outline
Context & Background:
- Ephesians was written by the Apostle Paul in the early 60s AD. He was under house arrest in Rome, and this was likely the time in which he wrote the epistle (letter) of Ephesians.
- Ephesians was written as a "circular letter" to the churches in Asia Minor -- churches would read the letter in an assembly and sometimes record and then pass along to other churches in the region (T. Moritz, New Dictionary of Biblical Theology, 315).
- The book reads more like a sermon than many of the other epistles. Paul seems to begin quite directly here, mentioning the audience and getting right to the content in the early parts of the letter. Colossians is similar, but in several other letters, Paul gives a longer greeting and update on matters of his ministry.
- Ephesians has a lot of similarities to Colossians. This letter could have been an elaboration on Colossians, as there are several similar passages, with Ephesians containing a lot of extra exposition on matters. It is likely an expansion on Colossians, given to many churches in Asia Minor.
- In comparison with Colossians, there is greater elaboration on Old Testament tie-ins. This letter was likely written to an audience more savvy to Hebrew culture, especially the Law and the Prophets.
- Ephesians is Split into two major sections --
Chapters 1-3: Christ and the Church
Chapters 4-6: Practical Living, given our New Life in Christ
(cf. Zondervan Handbook to the Bible, 714)
Chapters 4-6 goes from broad (Church, consisting of many families of faith) to specific (family order) to most specific (individual spiritual warfare and preparation, Armor of God).
An overarching theme throughout Ephesians is Unity through Christ. We see in John 17 that Jesus prayed for His people to be unified:
John 17:23 [ESV] - "I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me."
We see in Ephesians much stress on the work of Jesus, the significance of the unifying peace which He has brought, and the unity that we should pursue in life as Christian brothers and sisters.
Immediate context: This segment of the Christian family code is framed by Ephesians 5:21 - Submit yourselves to one another…
- Paul is speaking to everyone, both men and women. Submission in Christ here plays itself out in different ways.
I. Fathers Lead (5:22-24)
A. Husband as Head
1. Wives’ role: Submit & Respect
2. Role vs. Status
a. Christ did not die for men only or women only -- He died for all of us.
b. All are equal in status, but we are each assigned a role in reflecting God’s desired order:
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." - Galatians 3:28
c. We were uniquely created as male and female (cf. Genesis 1:27).
B. Parallels Christ as Head of the Church
1. Designated order
2. Elevated status
a. Family relationships are important
b. Family relationships should serve as a reflection of Christ’s leadership of the Church.
i. Parallel: Philippians 2:5-11 - Christ is given a name above all other names. All will bow to Him, willingly or unwillingly. We should not bow to our earthly fathers in worship, but we do need to respect and honor them.
ii. Christ’s headship as a model: servant leadership.
a) Humble Savior who is Exalted, Philippians 2, Hebrews 1
b) Suffering servant, Isaiah 53
c) Command to His disciples to lead through being servants to all, Matthew 20:20-28
d) Many other examples; Jesus was humble and focused in His mission to restore His people.
iii. Fathers should lead their families sacrificially and gently, knowing that they will be accountable to Christ, who is head of the Church.
C. Uniqueness and Importance of a Father
1. Systematic look (Genesis 1 & 2)
a. Created as Male & Female
i. Each has a unique role
ii. Genesis 1:27’s statement: "male and female he created them."
b. Husband & Wife - basic structure for childbearing and child-raising; the basic family unit.
"The relation of the wife to the husband is like that of the church in Christ, a close, tender relation, in which there is no bondage, but freedom, because the service is that of the heart." (People’s New Testament commentary, Eph. 5)
2. Statistics
(From InnocentDads.Org -- Context of group: this is an organization interested in keeping custody or visitation rights for fathers who want to raise their kids through divorce and who are not at fault for abuse of any kind)
1) 43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]
2) 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
3) 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. [Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, pp. 403-26, 1978]
4) 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]
5) 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
6) 85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. [Center for Disease Control]
7) 90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. [Wray Herbert, “Dousing the Kindlers,” Psychology Today, January, 1985, p. 28]
8) 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. [National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]
9) 75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. [Rainbows for all God’s Children]
10) 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father. [US Department of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988]
11) 85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. [Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Department of Corrections, 1992]
12) Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999]
From
3. Fathers are extremely important in households. In the best of situations, they provide leadership with a gentle hand, boldness through any struggle, and stability for the rest of the family to cling to. This should all be provided through love.
II. Fathers Love (5:25-33)
A. Husbands’ role: Cherish and Nourish wives
1. As own body
2. Here assumed is the norm that men take care of themselves -- if you treat yourself badly, it doesn’t mean that you are to treat your wife badly. Treat yourself well! If you’re a married man, treat your wife well!
3. Note that our status also defines our self-treatment --
Two-prong Argument for good self-treatment:
First: Paul notes that Christ cherishes and nourishes us. He desires to build us up!
Second: We as believers are part of His body, the Church. This is a privileged status!
Thus: We ought to nourish our own bodies.
We are representatives of Christ here on earth today, so let’s take care of ourselves as well as everything that God has given us!
B. Parallels Christ’s love for the Church
1. Caring and Sustaining (Cherishing and Nourishing)
2. Sacrificial
a. Willing to give all things for-.
b. Parallel: Jesus and the Church -- Jesus selflessly served many during His ministry, and in the end, Jesus even gave His life for us.
3. Passionate
a. Deeply in love, joined closely together
b. Parallel: Jesus endured extreme (excruciating) pain even through His innocence in order to provide a way back to reconciliation with Him. Romans 5: under sin’s curse, we are "His Enemies" -- He has passionately come to redeem us.
C. Role from Beginning
1. Paul’s exegesis on marriage from Genesis 2:24 - ’This is about the Church!’
Genesis 2:23-24
23 Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
2. One commentator: Christ left the Father to gain His Bride, the Church (cf. PNT, Eph. 5). Genesis 2:24 was spoken literally about marriage, but we see that Christ in a greater degree pursued us to bring us back to Him as an eventually spotless Church.
3. For certain, Christ also will be joined to His people in the now-and-not-yet Kingdom. This passage speaks to this.
a. We can experience a redeeming personal relationship with Him now in this fallen world.
b. We will see Him more fully in the end in the Kingdom to come.
4. One commentator: "The marriage of the first Adam should prefigure the relation between the second Adam and the church" (PNT, Eph. 5).
III. Fathers Raise Right (6:1-4)
A. Children’s role
1. Obey fathers "in the Lord"
a. Compare with parallel passage in Colossians
i. Ephesians is a slight elaboration: "in the Lord"
ii. If your parents tell you to bow and worship idols, don’t do it! If your parents tell you to do something against the Lord, don’t do it! Our allegiance is first to the Lord.
b. Assumption of father in line with God (Paul’s audience is primarily believers)
2. Honor your father and mother
a. Serious -- wisdom has benefits
i. Personal benefit - Gleaning wisdom from parents is an excellent idea. Solomon as well as many other wise people would recommend this for your own personal benefit.
ii. Societal benefit - Essential meaning of Exodus 20:12 - YOU honor YOUR father and mother (Singular) so that YOU ALL (Plural) will cause yourselves to remain in this land I’ve given you...
b. Definition of Honor
i. Hebrew (Exodus 20:12): Give weight to, consider as ’heavy’ (important), glorify
ii. Greek (Ephesians 6:2): Value, hold highly (from timao - relating to paying tribute in cash, this use is conceptual)
iii. How best can you honor your father?
B. Fathers discipline correctly
1. Not causing children to be embittered (6:4)
a. Harsh rebukes could cause a child to become angry
b. Harsh language at a child could also cause anger
c. Discouraging words can also cause anger
2. In love, with child’s best in mind
3. In the instruction and discipline of the Lord (6:4)
a. Those of the household of faith must raise their children within a household of faith.
b. We are accountable for our actions in parenting.
C. Caveat: Father vs. Heavenly Father
1. Biological, earthly fathers
a. Under sin (and death)
b. Human
2. Challenges
a. How do we view our earthly father in light of our Heavenly Father?
i. Do we insist too much of our earthly fathers?
ii. How can we understand our earthly fathers’ limitations?
iii. How can we encourage them to grow in godliness?
b. How do we view our Heavenly Father in light of our earthly father?
a) Do we attribute negative things onto God’s character that we saw from our earthly fathers?
b) Do we blame God for our earthly father’s shortcomings?
3. Our Heavenly Father
a. Perfect (Holy, pure, just)
b. Compassionate (He knows our frame is dust, merciful)
c. Personally available (relationship)
i. Evangelistic thrust: we can know Him, and He’s made Himself available.
ii. Regardless of how great or how poor our fathers have done in the past, we do have a faithful Father in Heaven who cares for us and desires to be in relationship with us.
Application
1. For those who don’t yet know God -- reach out to Him. He’s already done the work necessary to bring us to Him -- come to Him in faith. Basic steps: Admit sin, turn from it, accept Jesus’ sacrifice for you, and follow Him.
2. For fathers: Lead your family, Love them, and point them in the right direction. If you have children still in the home, focus on raising them right, in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
a. Where do you excel? How can you use these strengths to your family’s benefit?
b. Where do you lack? How can you grow in these areas of lack?
3. For wives: Respect your husband, and encourage him in leadership. Ask the same questions as the men -- where do you excel, where do you lack, and how can you grow?
4. For those of us who only have the memory of our father, take time today to reflect on his life. For all of us who still have our fathers with us here, ask the question, ’How can I best honor my father?’ Prayerfully pursue that route.
Our fathers are very unique, important people. Some of our dads don’t know Jesus. Perhaps praying for them or sharing Jesus with them would be a great way to honor them. Some of our dads have hurt us in the past. Work toward coming to a point of forgiveness. God placed our fathers in our lives for a purpose. If you are still privileged to have your father alive, call or get in touch with him today if possible.
Again, this Father’s Day, we look to Scripture to get a look at the portrait of a godly father: Leading, Loving, and Raising Right. Let’s honor our fathers not only today, but as we have opportunity. In closing, let’s pray.
Closing Prayer
