CHILD, DID YOU HEAR?
Zip It Week Number 3
Text: Psalms 57:4, James 3:5-6
INTRODUCTION
This is week number three, the final week of our “Zip It” Sermon series. This week we’re talking about gossip. I’m sure you can all rest easy because none of us at Spring of Hope have challenges in that area, right? So, let’s first look at the different kinds of gossipers. The first one is what we’ll call the prayer request gossiper. You know that person, right? These are the ones that invade your space, and they say, “You know, what, we really just gotta pray for Tommy, because he’s just … I saw him last week. He was at Blockbuster, and he was renting adult videos. I can’t believe it. His family’s just falling apart, and he’s addicted to this and that, but let’s pray for him. Can we? You know that person, the prayer request gossiper, the one who can tell about seeing Tommy renting adult videos but never explaining why they were in the adult video section themselves.
How many of you guys know any prayer request gossipers? Raise your hand. O.K. here’s another one is what I call the “But I still love em” gossiper. I was at a restaurant the other day. I’ve been eavesdropping on folk’s conversations for the past seven or eight days getting ready for this message. And so these ladies were talking, and they were just dogging this other lady, kind of a little finger snapping, and head rolling, you know, “she thinks she’s all that cuz her man buys her everything. he bought her a car, he paid for her college, he gives her a credit card, and they were just completely hating on her. But then, right before they left, they said, “But, you know, I still love her.” It’s like, “she still a sweetie.” How many of you know those kinds of gossipers? The nerve to dogg you out and then say, I still love em.
And then you have the don’t know when to shut up gossiper. These are the people that just love to talk and they just kind of talk because that’s what they do. Some people go to work, and some people just talk. Some folks play tennis, some folks talk. Some folks like music or golf, others…..talk. Some people read or write or play cards or shop, others……talk. Do you know anyone whose favorite hobby is TALKING! You don’t need to say anything to them….they gonna talk you WHOLE EAR off! And so, they just talk, and they’re always talking, “Man, do you know about Malik and Shefika? I think her father was involved in that.” And then they’re talking about Paris Hilton breaking up with her fiance’, Lindsay Lohan’s car crash, how much money Puffy gotta pay in child support….acting like they really know these folks…..and then they’re picking up the telephone and they are saying, “do you know about so and so? They’re marriage is really struggling!” A-N-D T-H-E-Y J-U_S-T keep talking, and they keep talking. They’re talking about the neighbors’ problems, and they talk … and they talk, and they talk, and they talk, and they talk, and they talk. How many of you guys know these kinds of people? And I know nobody in here is like is that person. Right? But we all know who they are!
And then, last but not least, you’ve got the more macho type of gossiper….The “I’m just tellin the truth” gossiper. Man, I’m just telling the truth. I’m just throwing it out there.” How many of you know those type of gossipers?
We always come in contact with these types of people, but here’s the reality , gossip is everywhere. You are going to notice when you walk out of the sanctuary today that it literally is everywhere. You kick back. You are at home. You turn on the television and they’ve got Talk Soup They’ve got Entertainment Tonight, Hard Copy, Current Affair. Joan Rivers has moved to TV Guide channel . And so she’s got her big gossip deal going on there, and it’s literally all over the place. Even on what are considered reputable news networks….CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS (and yes, I left FOX out on purpose….I said reputable) Even on these networks we gotta hear about Tiger Woods sex escapades….Paris Hilton, Jesse James cheating on Sandra Bullock…..WHO CARES?!
And so, gossip is all over the place: mobile phones, text messaging, emails, myspace.com, facebook.com. And it’s not just through technology, but it happens in our homes. It happens with our neighbors. It happens at the office. Happens as we are driving in the car. Guess what, let me let you in on a little secret, It happens IN THE CHURCH…..and the list goes on and on and on. Gossip is all over the place. Maybe you’ve had a conversation and it sounds something like this, “So, you heard about Russ.” “No, I haven’t. What’s going on?” “Man, he’s just really struggling financially right now. His oldest kid, man, he’s on drugs and they are trying to deal with that situation. Man, he caught his wife cheating with his best friend.” “Really, man. Poor Russ. I can’t believe that.” “And his wife’s pregnant again and you know the baby might not be his. Shoot, they can’t even get raise the kids they have. Can you believe they are having another one? And you look at each other and you say, “Man, poor Russ.” You walk away and you have left Russ’ reputation simmering in a pile of ashes.
Or maybe you are the one who’s been charred by the gossip. Maybe you have shared something that you thought could be kept there in a secret way. A couple of days later, you find out it’s for the whole world to see. Maybe you’ve sent an email to somebody, and it was a confidential email, only to find out that it has gone to other people. We have people in here right now, that have been the victims of gossip.
Or MAYBE you are the one that’s actually spread the gossip. Right? Maybe you are the one that something happened to you, and you were so angry, words just started coming out and were vicious words, and they are slowly tearing away at somebody’s character. Or maybe you are the person that talks too much, and you just kind of talk and you are not malicious, right? But it is just words that are coming out of your mouth and you don’t think about the things that you are saying, but slowly what’s happening remark after remark, is you are nicking away at somebody’s character.
So, what does God’s word say about it. What’s God’s word have to say about gossip? What does scripture say about the power of the tongue? Well, if you go through and you look, you are going to see a lot of positive things that it says. It says that you can give life to people. You can encourage people. The tongue can be used to give life, and to put marriages back together, and to help people, and to walk them through their journey, and to build them up. I mean, the list goes on and on, right? There’s all of these great positive things that can be done with our tongue, so when I was kind of working through this message, I started asking myself, “Okay, what does scripture say about the dark side of the tongue?” And the language is really interesting. If you go through and you study the language, it uses language that typifies a violent scenario. It uses words like daggers, and swords, and poisonous tips, arrows, and death, and destruction, and things like that.
King David, okay, one of the authors of the Bible, before he became king, was on his rise to become a king. People were angry. They were made at him. They hated him. They started talking all kinds of stuff about him, spreading gossip and lies, trying to bring him down. And then, that wasn’t enough. They got their swords and daggers and they started to chase him. And so, King David, man, he’s being chased over mountains, going through rivers, hopping in caves, and so, at one moment in time, he hops in this cave. Right? And he grabs his Big Chief pad and his number 2 pencil, and he says, “Man, I’m going to record what God’s doing in my life right now.”
TEXT
And here’s what he says in Psalms 57:4, he says, “I find myself in a pride of lions who are wild for the taste of human flesh.” He says, “Their teeth are like lances and arrows,” and check this out… He says, “Their tongue is as sharp as daggers.” Violent language, right?
Let’s read it again
Psalms 57:4
"I find myself in a pride of lions who are wild for a taste of human flesh; their teeth are lances and arrows, their tongue as sharp as daggers."
James 3:5-6
And so James, he’s the brother of Jesus, and he’s like, “Man, everybody’s getting in on the subject of the tongue.” He’s like, “I’m going to throw something in, too.” Here’s what he says about it. In James 3:5-6, he says, “Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a very small spark.” Every summer in parts of Colorado and other areas of the country, there are forest fires that literally burn thousands of acres and cause massive destruction, and it is usually started by some very, very, very small spark. The rest of this verse reads kind of like a movie trailer from a horror film. It says, “The tongue is also a fire. It’s a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person. It sets the whole course of his life on fire.” What he is saying here is, “Man, the tongue can literally ruin somebody’s life and the generations that come after that. The tongue leaves a path of destruction.
“So the authors have used language that was very typical of their day, back in the day, gladiator, brave heart, kind of weapons, daggers, swords, different things like that.” So I was thinking, “What if the authors lived to day.” What kind of language would God want them to use to really explain the destruction that the tongue can bring? Maybe it would say something like the tongue is like a suicide bomber walking into a mall full of thousands of people and innocent children. We all know the images of destruction that that brings. Or maybe it would say something like this, “The tongue is like a kid that is on the verge of a lunatic fringe that walks into a cafeteria at school one day and begins to just spread bullets all over the place.” What Images come to our mind? The reason that God uses such vivid description in imagery is because, rarely do we think about the destructive path that our tongue leaves behind.
QUESTIONS
So let’s look at and answer a few questions that may help us deal with this problem of gossip:
1. When is it Gossip?
2. Why do we Gossip?
3. Why Should We Change Our Words
4. What Do I Do When Approached With Gossip
1) When Is It Gossip And When Is It Acceptable Conversation?
We do live in a culture that loves dirty laundry. It’s spun all around us. We see it in all kinds of things. In particular we see it in the lines at the supermarkets when we look at these little things called tabloids. We see headlines about woodpeckers that kill thousands, aliens that are abducted, a new Elvis Presley sighting. We live in a culture that’s inundated with tabloids and dirty laundry. There is all sorts of stuff flying around. There is gossip in our work places. People talk about other people. We spread hearsay and rumors. The rumor mill turns. Sometimes it’s hard to know. Even in conversations have you wondered, “Am I gossiping right now when I’m saying this? Is it gossip? Is it not gossip?” It can be a real challenge. One thing I’ve realized is that it’s hard to nail gossip down and to determine when you are doing it. But it’s always easy to tell when you are being gossiped about. Isn’t that the truth?
I submit to you that The difference between gossip and acceptable conversation is in motive and accuracy.
- One struggle that people have is that they believe that “not gossiping” means ceasing to having any conversation about people and what’s going on in their lives. Most of us can’t do this - and for good reason: people are a huge part of our lives. The good news here is that stopping all conversation about people is not what God is asking us to do.
- We need to examine the accuracy of the information as well as our motives in telling the story.
- Concerning accuracy, if we’re not sure about the truth of the story, that should be enough to stop us from sharing it. If it’s something that were concerned about because someone that we love is involved, we should proceed not by sharing the unverified story, but by going to the person in question and sharing our concern. “I heard this and I wanted to make sure it wasn’t true.”
- For some people, though, the presumption is that if the accuracy of the information is confirmed, then sharing it is not gossip. “I’m just telling the truth,” they’ll say. But there’s a second factor at play and that is the motive we have in sharing the story. Even if a story is verified to be true, if we are sharing it with the motive to hurt the person, to taint their reputation, or just because we want to be the first to share the juicy news, our motive is bad.
- Here is an example. Let’s say I have a friend named Luke who has told me he is getting a divorce even though he’s only been married 6 months because his wife had an affair on him. Scenario #1: My heart is broken by his pain and by the knowledge that I have that marriage is a sacred covenant before God and therefore divorce pains Him. In my private prayer time, I shed some tears for Luke and his pain. Later that day, I see Lauren (a mutual friend of Luke and myself) and I share the news with her: “Luke shared with me that he is going to be getting a divorce. If you get a chance to talk to him, I think he could use a shoulder to cry on.” Notice I don’t share the salacious but unnecessary details about the affair. Notice also that I shared accurate information with a motive of helping Luke, not hurting him. Scenario #2: Having found out about Luke’s divorce, I am quick to share every detail with everyone from our workplace that I can talk to. My facts are accurate, but my motive is impure and my actions hurtful to Luke.
- So, it’s important that we both be sure that our information is accurate and that our motive is pure. Those two factors make up the difference between gossip and appropriate conversation.
2. Why Do We Gossip?
“We love our insider status more than we love people.”
- James 3:5-6; James 4:11; James 5:9.
- We seldom think about the implications for the person we’re gossiping about. Our thoughts are usually on being the first one to spread the news so that we’ll get (a) credit for being “in-the-know” and (b) others to share their gossip with us when they’ve got some.
- The simple but hard truth is that we are raising ourselves up by stomping others down. The simple but hard truth is that we are enhancing our own image without consideration that others must foot the bill. The simple but hard truth is that we are willing to destroy others’ reputations and lives in order to improve our standing.
3. Why Should We Change Our Words?
- Obviously, what we just talked about a moment ago hints at one good reason: that we should love people more than our insider status, but there are other reasons that directly apply to us.
A. “Realize that everything you say is being recorded.”
- Matthew 12:36-37;
36 And I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.37 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
- I don’t mean that Big Brother is watching. I mean that God in heaven misses nothing. And Jesus tells us here that we are accountable for every word that we say.
- If you’ve been in a room and had someone pull out a cassette recorder or a video recorder, you know that you act differently when you know that you’re being recorded. Any lawyer can tell you that people answer questions differently when they know the stenographer is recording every word they say for the court record. We need to realize that we are also being “recorded” as God watches over us and notices our words.
B. “Understand that a loose tongue equals a useless religion.”
- Proverbs 6:16-19
16 There are six things which Jehovah hateth;17 Haughty eyes, a lying tongue,18 A heart that deviseth wicked purposes,19 A false witness that uttereth lies,
- When I was finishing my first Master’s Degree we had to take “Oral Exams.” This was where you sat in a room with three of your professors and they could ask you about anything that had ever been brought up in any of your classes. You had no notes there in the room with you - you had to rely on your preparation and your memory. And, so, the “Orals” were the hardest of the tests before graduating.
- Here in James 1:26 and James 3:2, we see a similar idea - that the way we handle our tongue represents one of the most difficult tests of the maturity of our faith.
- Many Christians divide sins up into the “really bad ones” (perhaps murder, adultery, homosexuality, etc.) and the “not so bad ones” (perhaps envy, pride, materialism, gossip, etc.). The sin of gossip is deemed excusable by many folks who consider themselves to be mature Christians. These verses speak against that and point out the seriousness of gossip and the reality that it is a test of spiritual maturity.
- Proverbs 6:16-19 speaks of things that God hates and the last (and in the Hebrew that makes it the point of emphasis) is someone who sows discord among brothers. When we stir up trouble within the church with our gossip, we are putting ourselves in the line of the wrath of God.
4. What Do I Do When I’m Approached With Gossip?
Here are some possible responses:
A. First, try this, “Can I quote you on this?”
- This is offered as a good way to stop gossip. Those just interested in sharing gossip will not want to be quoted. Just ask em next time they come to you with a load of mess….”wow, can I tell that you said it?”
B. Next, try this “You know, what I like most about [that person] is. ..”
- This is offered as a good way to stop gossip. When it’s obvious by the direction of the conversation that the person’s intent is to tear someone down with gossip, short-circuit the gossip by throwing out your favorite thing about the person in question. You see, the gossiper is more interested in the story than the person the story is about, so this serves a wake-up call that you aren’t interested in tearing somebody else down. If you want, after you’ve made your statement, you can ask them, “What do you like most about [that person]?”
C. Finally, try this…“Have you talked to [that person] about this?”
- This comes out of Matthew 18:15. Our first step when there is sin involved is to go confront the person about it, not gossip behind their back.
POWER OF WORDS
Words shape and define our lives
Words reveal the faith we have in our life. We need to learn to engage our minds before we engage our mouths.
Who are the people that have been hurt by our words? Have relationships ended? Friendships that were really, really strong at one point aren’t quite the same? Maybe there is a family member, and that relationship is broken also. Maybe we’ve destroyed someone’s character, just hurt their feelings and the list and just goes on and on and on. And for some of us right now, the Holy Spirit is pressing in on us and He is saying, “You remember that conversation. Remember when you walked out, and you wish you wouldn’t have said what you did, and the words came out, but you can’t do anything about it?” And He’s just bringing conversations to your mind right now. Some of us, maybe you are the one who’s been charred by someone else’s words, and I want you to know that God loves you so much. He knows how fragile your heart is. He knows how fragile my heart is, and He cares about us, and He deeply wants to take His healing ointment and just drop it into our wounds and bring healing to our life.
There is a story of a woman in an Indian village who maliciously gossiped about another lady and her family in the village. One day she found out that she was wrong about this lady and her family and had a change of heart. She went to the village’s wise man and asked how she could take back all the wrong she had done. The wise man told her to go home and kill her chickens and pluck there feathers and put them into a bag. After this she was to go back and see the wise man again, but on her way back she was to scatter all the feathers she had plucked from the chickens.
The lady did as she was told. When she got back to the man, he told her, " now go back and pick up all the feathers that you have scattered. " The woman was astonished at such a command and said, " By now the wind has carried the feathers through out the village and beyond." The wise man then told Her, And so it is with your careless words. They are like the feathers scattered in the wind. You can not retrieve them. " With that the woman with a broken heart because of the words she had spoken went her way, determined from that day forward to Watch her words.
Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
Job 19:2 How long will ye vex my soul, and break me in pieces with words. Another translation says How long will you torment me and crush me with words.
Ephesians 4:29-30 Let no corrupt ( unwholesome ) communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying ( building up ) that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
• Paul is saying when we use words that tear people down rather than building them up we are grieving The Holy Spirit of God. God is not pleased with our words because they are not building up the body of Christ.
We need to pray the prayer of the Psalmist. Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, oh Lord, my Strength, and my Redeemer.
CONCLUSION
But thank God we can change our words. Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. In other words, a good word spoken at the right time is better than golden apples in a silver basket.
• Our words can can refresh and encourage someone that is discouraged and ready to give up and quit. Words can give new life to a dead relationship.
• the greek definition for encourage is “one who puts courage IN the heart of another”
Spring of Hope, let’s change the conversation! People don’t need to hear rumors they need revelation …..they don’t need hearsay, they need what HE SAYS….they don’t need innuendo, they need inspiration….they don’t need aspersions, they need assurance, they don’t need negativity, they need to know about the nativity….they don’t need whispers, they need a WORD!
They need a message in their misery!
They need a text in their trials!
They need a verse in their valleys!
They need a Scripture in their struggles!
They need a command in their calamities!
They need a precept in their pain!
They need a revelation in their situation!
They need a declaration in their despair!
They need a statute in their storms!
They need a word to…
Direct them
Correct them…..
To lead them…..
To guide them……
You need to have a word for the world: you need a word for your children…a word for your spouse…a word for your coworkers…a word for your neighbors.
The next time you feel the urge to gossip….gossip like this….Child, did you hear?
He’s help in the time of trouble……..
He’ll make your enemies your footstool…
He’ll hear your cry in the midnight hour….
When there’s no help to your left, no help to the right, when there’s no help in front and no help behind, you can look to the hills from whence comes your help.
Child did you hear….He’s a doctor in the sick room
He’s a lawyer in the courtroom…
He’s bread when you’re hungry….
He’s water when you’re thirsty….
Child, did you hear….Help is on the way! Don’t give up….don’t throw in the towel, don’t give in, don’t lie down, keep your head up, keep on praising, keep on dancing, keep on praying, keep on hoping, keep on looking for your miracle, keep on believing, Help is on the way!
Child, did you hear……Fear not little flock, it’s the father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
Child, did you hear….yea though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death…God is with you.
Child, did you hear that god has blessed us, kept us, brought us and lifted us;. With his blood he has saved us, with his power he has raised us, to God be the glory, great things He has done. Child, did you hear that when I think of the goodness of Jesus and all he’s done for you that my soul cries hallelujah, thank God for saving me.
God has been just that good, just that kind, just that merciful, just that awesome, and just that amazing. Child did you hear that God is alpha and omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end, He’s bread when we’re hungry, water when we’re thirsty, a friend that sticks closer than a brother, a father for the fatherless, a mother for the motherless, a friend for the friendless, light in darkness, a shelter from the storm, a lawyer in your courtroom, a doctor in your sick room, a burden bearer, a heavy load sharer, money in your pocket, food on your table, the cream in your coffee, the apple of your eye, the diamond in the rough, the starch in your shirt, the lily of the valley, the bright and morning star, Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, prince of peace, Jehovah Jireh, My provider, Jehovah Nissi, my banner, He’s all of that, a bag of chips, Lays, cuz you can’t eat just one,
Child, did you hear? He’ll make a way out of no way, pick you up..turn you around, place your feet on solid ground…..and for all of that, I just want to tell Him….THANK YOU!
Child did you hear? God is not just enough, he’s more than enough. God keeps on adding more to us, pouring more in us, doing more for us, giving us more than we deserve, more than we can count, more than we can see, more than we can contain, more than we can ask, more than we can think, more than we can imagine and the Lord is blessing us right now! Who wouldn’t serve a God like that? Who wouldn’t give God praise? What a day to be alive, what a day to celebrate the goodness of God, what a day to lift up your light and your life and your head and your voice and praise God because he’s good praise him because he’s brought you from a mighty long way, praise him because he’s worthy to be praised. Through many dangers toils and snares we have already come it was grace that brought us safe thus far and grace that will lead us on.
