Love For a Lifetime
1 John 2:3-6
Love is a word that has become obscure and ambiguous in our day. It is often talked about but seldom is it clearly defined. Love is what some have called a “weasel-word.” Love may mean anything, or nothing. It has lost its moorings and stands for “what I want” – a most deceptive concept and a despotic tyrant. The Greek language has a number of words for social relationship which English in its poverty translates into one word: LOVE. And the definition that our human hearts seek is not found at the end of every one of “love’s beckoning rainbows.”
In our effort for definition we sometimes try to prove our love by doing good works, and helping one another. We spend countless hours trying to convince those around us how good we can be.
There was one young man who was determined to win the affection of a certain woman. The woman would not talk to him, or even acknowledge him. He decided that she could not ignore him forever if he wrote one letter a day. For months she got seven letters a week from him. When she did not respond he increased his output of letters. He wrote three letters a day. Over all he wrote her almost seven hundred letters. After some months she married the mailman.
We spend lifetimes trying to develop our capacity to love in our humanness. What we are taking part in is an exercise in futility. The Scriptures tell us that real love comes from God. It originated with Him in the beginning, and it inhabits our hearts through Him. Whether you are a single person, entering into marriage, or have been married for years the truth remains that the greatest love that can be given does not come from our own hearts. It originates with God and is displayed through the lives that we live under His guidance and direction.
You see, when the Bible teaches us to love – especially to the love that is necessary within a marriage – it is not teaching a human lust. It does not teach man-conceived obsession, or untamed passion of the heart of man. The Bible teaches a love and care that comes from the heart of God. It teaches a love that puts a spouse ahead of your own desires. It teaches us to relate to one another with the same affection and love that God shows to each of us.
Love begins in the word of God…
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. What God gave us from the beginning was not a static word, or a dead law. He gave us a word that embodied His love for us when He gave us THE WORD, Jesus Christ. He is dynamic and powerful. He has overcome sin, He has overcome death, He has overcome the curse that the very God of heaven put on this world, and He has overcome the hate and violence that are the result. God sent the embodiment of His commands in the person of Jesus to model for us what it means to love.
In human terms, love for something is based on how it serves us. The word of God defines for us a culture that goes against that of the world. As we study and learn His word we find a kingdom – you could call it a sub-culture, or a counter-culture - where each member considers the well-being of the others. A kingdom that is not based on material wealth, or worldly things but on our desire to live in an ever-growing relationship with our King and our Lord and to bring others to that relationship.
The Word is not just an old dusty book (or it shouldn’t be), it reveals the very character and nature of a God whose love is overwhelming. One who has made provision for us to live a life that shows love for Him, as well as for one another. God has shown us such love in His Word that we must simply mirror the same love that we witness from Him to our spouse. The Apostle Paul commands husbands to “love your wives as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”
The Bible defines love for us by showing us what it means to give of ourselves for others. Scripture tells us that God loved us so much that He sent His only Son to die for us. God’s Son did not die out of obligation, but out of love. Jesus did not make a sacrifice for our sins because God needs us, but because He wants us. He desperately loves us. He treasures us, and waits with great anticipation for us to join Him for all eternity. But in the mean time He gives His love to us as a father. He nurtures us and cares for us, and prepares us to model His love to others.
This all begins with His self-revelation, the Bible. If our relationships and our interactions and marriages are not founded on the Word of God we can never expect to experience the love of God. We can never expect to show others what real love is.
Love is kept as we abide in the Word…
We cannot, however, simply read the word of God. We must abide within, or live what is contained in His word.
Has anyone ever given you instruction over the phone? Have they ever told you how to put something together, or given you directions about how to get somewhere? Sometimes those directions are frustrating. We hear them, and we think we understand, but we start our task and find that things don’t quite look like what we had pictured as we received the instruction. Isn’t it much easier to learn if there is someone to show you and model what you need to do?
The Word of God is filled with stories of those who have modeled God’s love to others. Moses led the Israelites through the wilderness to the promised land, even after he had become so frustrated that he could not enter the land himself. The prophets of God delivered His word to people who continually ignored Him, and threatened the lives of His messengers. But they continued to faithfully reveal God to the people that He loved. Jesus Christ lived the commands and desires of God when He stepped into flesh and became like you and I. He was not able to do that because he was God. He became man and did it because He loved God and LIVED IN THE COMMANDS of God. He was able to show God’s love to others because He allowed God to show Him what love really is. The apostles did not see the masses saved because they knew the teachings of Christ, but because they LIVED IN THEM. They lived in the love that God gave them through Jesus. Those who were saved lived in the love that Jesus gave the apostles.
The story of all Scripture is the story of God’s love passed on, from one person to the next, from one family to the next, and even from one generation to the next. God’s love is consuming, it is passionate, it is all encompassing. It is the love that is missing in many marriages and relationships that end badly, and it is the glue that binds together all that thrive. If You live in God’s Word, and model God’s love you cannot help but be successful in your marriage. God will bless your lives together, and you will grow in your relationship with Him, and with one another.
To abide in the Word is not simply to live some commands, but to live daily in the presence of God. It is a presence that will give you peace, joy, longsuffering, and all of the things that Scripture promises. Some weeks ago I was reading a book by Charles Ewing Brown and came upon a question. “If the only gift that God ever gave you was His presence, would it be enough?” The answer that jumps from the very pages of Holy Scripture is a resounding “YES!” The fact is that God has already given us so much more. Your marriage will thrive if it is lived in the presence of God Almighty.
In one of the greatest descriptions of God in human history John tells us, “God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.”
Love is perfected as we trust in the Word…
It is easy to look at what the Word of God tells us and judge the Word against our desires or opinions. It’s not hard to live within God’s love when things are easy and everything goes according to plan. It’s more difficult for God’s love to be perfected within us when the wind begins to blow around us, and we are tossed by the waves of the storms of our lives. These, however, are the times that God uses to perfect His love in our hearts. These are the times when He models His love to us by refusing to leave us or forsake us if we will follow Him. These are the times when He shows us what love really is, and teaches us what it will mean for us to show His love to others.
What does it mean, specifically, for God’s love to be perfected in us? It means that our love will always grow. Perfect love is a growing love, one that never becomes static or stagnant. It is one that never ceases to care for the other; whether it be in marriage, or simply our relationships with friends, family, and other acquaintances. When love ceases to grow then – and only then – it ceases to be the love of God being “perfected” within us. God’s desire is for your love for one another, and for the love of all Christians, to continually grow; even in spite of conditions that are not always favorable for continuing love. In good times and in tough times God will continue to love you. Whether you are healthy, or sick; unemployed, or wealthy God loves us all. He will continue to love us all. We must accept His love so that we can show it to others in all the circumstances of life.
One day C. H. Spurgeon was walking through the English countryside with a friend. As they strolled along, the evangelist noticed a barn with a weather vane on its roof. At the top of the vane were these words: GOD IS LOVE. Spurgeon remarked to his companion that he thought this was a rather inappropriate place for such a message. 'Weather vanes are changeable," he said, 'but God's love is constant."
'I don't agree with you about those words, Charles," replied his friend. 'You misunderstood the meaning. That sign is indicating a truth: Regardless of which way the wind blows, God is love."
I cannot promise that marriage will always be easy, or that there will not be bumps in the road, but you can be assured that if you live what you witness in the Word of God your love for one another will never cease to grow. People may consider it naïve and silly, but God has revealed to us all that we need to know for His love to be “perfected.” God’s love is not based on what He will get from us, but on the total giving of Himself to us.
The Apostle John leaves us these instructions in regards to love. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world – our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?
If you will build your marriage on a love that is based on love for God, first and foremost, you will be blessed by God in your life together. If those of us who witness this union today will build our lives on love for God above all else, we also will be blessed in ways that we could have never imagined.
You can chase after all of the things that this world has to offer, but they will not bring victory. We have only one thing that will overcome all the things of man, and all the things of the world. This, my friends is the victory that will overcome: God’s love perfected in your hearts.
