INTRO.- ILL.- It is well known that crabs and small shellfish of the same class walk in the “sideways” fashion. Once upon a time, the other fishes resolved to teach these mistaken fellow inhabitants of the deep the proper mode of locomotion, namely, to go forward.
Accordingly they started a Sunday School and collected all the little crabs of the neighborhood to receive instruction. At the close of the first day, progress is made, and they dismissed their scholars after obtaining the promise that they would come again on the following Sunday.
Sunday came round again, and the crabs were once more in their places; of the benevolently disposed fishes, the crabs were all going “sideways” as badly as ever. A teachers’ meeting was immediately called to consider what was best to be done. The problem was soon solved by an elderly fish, who made a short speech to this effect:
“You see, my brothers and sisters, that we have these crabs under our control for one day only. Whereas they return and watch their fathers and mothers the other six days, the influence of their example in the six days in the wrong direction more than destroys any good we may be able to effect in the right direction in only one.”
Whether we parents want to admit it or not, our children will often imitate us in life before they will ever do what we tell them to do. They will do as we do rather than do as we say.
ILL.- I remember many things about my father who passed away on Dec. 11, 1982, just two days after my 38th birthday. He was 72 years old and died of a series of heart attacks. I remember both good and bad or positive and negative things about my father.
THE NEGATIVE: Dad was a smoker. I remember well him smoking those old unfiltered Camel cigarettes and then later, filtered Winstons. Why would a child remember something like this? Because dad smoked a lot so I saw them a lot.
But for some reason I was not motivated to want to smoke, although I did try it when I got older, as a teen. However, I didn’t smoke very long because I didn’t like it. It tasted bad and of course, I never got addicted to it. My dad did and it provided some kind of instant satisfaction.
ILL.- An Indonesian father claims his two-year-old son is addicted to cigarettes, a newspaper reported. Mohammad Rizal, from the Southeast Asian country’s Musi Banyuasin province, said his son Rizal is hooked on tobacco after having his first cigarette at just 18 months old. But Rizal said he is unfazed by his son’s smoking habit.
"I’m not worried about his health -- he looks healthy," he said. "He cries and throws tantrums when we don’t let him smoke. He’s addicted."
Indonesia has a major problem with child smokers -- 25 percent of three to 15-year-olds smoked at least once according to the Central Statistics Agency.
WHAT A STUPID FATHER! It was bad enough for him to give the child that example, but to give the child cigarettes was awful, to say the least.
MORE NEGATIVE: Dad cussed and especially, if he got mad. I don’t remember him using constantly profanity but he did use some bad words. Although I don’t ever remember him using the “f” word in front of us children. I think he was careful not to do that, but he did use the Lord’s name in vain. I heard that many times and I didn’t like it. Why? Because in Sunday School I learned that you don’t use the Lord’s name in vain. That was a “no, no.”
I never liked the fact that my daddy cussed. I just knew it wasn’t the thing to do. And I was always careful never to say bad words in front of my children. Admittedly, however, I would sometimes get angry enough to say a bad word or two. WANT TO KNOW WHAT THEY WERE? Good luck. And you thought I’d really tell you!!!! Fat chance of that happening.
MORE NEGATIVE: Dad didn’t go to church with mom and us kids. If he went it would only be on special occasions like Christmas or Easter or maybe when one of us kids were in some kind musical or whatever. Then he’d come and watch us.
I don’t ever remember my father praying at the table. I don’t ever remember my father praying, period. I don’t remember my father reading my Bible. I’m not saying he didn’t do these things but I don’t remember him doing them. Saying grace at mealtime was not a regular thing in our home.
Since my dad didn’t go to church on regular basis I assume he never confessed his faith in Christ and was baptized. In fact, I know he’d never been baptized. The reason I know this is because one time when my family and I were back home, visiting mom and dad, suddenly mother said out of the blue, “I need to bring daddy up there and get him baptized.” What was “up there”? It was Iberia, MO, where I preached.
Her words shocked me. Dad’s words sorrowed me. He said in response to mother’s words: “You gotta get the head right first.” I assume he meant that his thinking wasn’t right and therefore, he wasn’t ready to be baptized. Nothing more was said and nothing more was done that I know of. HOW BROKEN WAS MY HEART! And it’s been broken ever since.
ILL.- In a mothers’ meeting there was a big discussion on the theme: “How early in a child’s life ought one to begin to influence him toward God?” After a much spirited debate, a visiting grandmother was asked to make a comment. In essence, she said: “I began with my first child twenty years before she was born by giving myself to Jesus Christ!” And the same thing applies to fathers as well.
THE POSITIVE: I believe with all my heart that dad loved mom and us kids. He tried to be a good husband and father. He would tease mother, hug and kiss her. He would play with us kids and love on us. I remember him whiskering me when I was small. He tried to teach my brother and me how to play ball. And he took us fishing a few times, as I recall. Kids need to fish.
Dad taught us about hard work, because he worked hard. He drove a cattle truck and was good at it. He was never lazy. He even serviced his own truck and taught us boys how to change oil in a car, etc. When he was called to go to work at odd times, he went. Night and day, he went. He was generally home most nights, however.
Dad worked at home too: mowing grass, gardening, fixing things that needed to be repaired (that is, if he could fix them), and he even built an addition onto our small house at 302 Forest St. in Webb City, MO. He built on a bathroom for the family and a bedroom for us two boys.
That was my dad. Now for me. The daddy I want to be. In one sense my daddy days are over but in another sense, they are not over. Do you ever cease being a daddy once you are? I don’t think so. Your “daddying” may not be the same but you’ll still be daddy. My dad was still my daddy when I was 38 years old and he was 72 years old. I still loved him and respected him.
The daddy I want to be. I can’t say I was the daddy I should have been when my children were small and growing to adulthood, because I made plenty of mistakes. And I have to live with them.
For example, my daughter said one time, “Dad, I remember that on Friday nights you always had to watch boxing on TV. We couldn’t watch anything else.” HOW HUMBLING IS THAT? What was that? Selfishness.
However, I don’t think either of my kids hold it against me even though they may remember it. But that’s not the worst of my failures as a father.
What do you when you fail in life, as a father or as a Christian? While we might want to go back and change some things, we know that we can’t. All we can do is go forward and do the best we can right now. It’s like what the apostle Paul said.
Philippians 3:13-14 “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
And here’s the daddy I want to be.
1- I want to be the daddy who walks with God.
Genesis 5:21-24 “When Enoch had lived 65 years, he became the father of Methuselah. And after he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Enoch lived 365 years. Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God took him away.”
Did you know that Noah was Enoch’s great-grandson? And the Bible says of Noah that he walked with God. (Genesis 6:9) How did he learn to walk with God? Could it be that his great-grandfather had something to do with it? That perhaps Enoch passed this on to his son, grandson and great-grandson?
2- I want to be the daddy who always points to God and Jesus.
ILL.- Daniel Webster testified: “If there be anything in my style or thoughts to be commended, the credit is due to my kind parents for instilling into my mind an early love for the Scriptures. From the time that, at my mother’s feet or on my father’s knee, I learned to lisp verses from the Sacred Writings they have been my daily study.
“The older I grow and the more I read the Holy Scriptures, the more reverence I have for them and the more I am convinced that they are not only the best guide for the conduct of this life, but the foundation of all hope respecting the future state.”
To be a daddy who always points to God he must be a daddy who believes the Word of God, reads the Word, and points to the Word.
3- I want to be the daddy who spends much time alone with God in prayer.
Mark 1:35 “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.”
Luke 5:16 “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”
Jesus spent much time alone with His Father in prayer. That’s the kind of person and daddy I want to be.
4- I want to be the daddy who is giving, loving, loyal and faithful.
To His family, his children and his God. What a challenge.
As a father, I’ve always tried to give to my children and take care of their needs. My giving often went beyond their needs to their wants. And sometimes, we give too much in that way and not enough when it comes to nourishing their souls in the way of Christ.
I should have been more giving in that way. And I should have played with them much more than I did. A father can never do too much of that. And I should have read to them more from the Bible even though they always went to Sunday School, Church, etc. I should have prayed with them more. I should have talked to them about God and Jesus more.
And oh I wish that someone would have just sat down and talked to me one-on-one about God and Christ. I never had that in my home. But I want to be that kind of daddy.
5- I want to be the daddy who cares about others. A daddy who has a heart for the souls of men and women, boys and girls.
Psalm 142:3-4 “When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way. In the path where I walk men have hidden a snare for me. Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life.”
Some versions read, “No one cares for my soul.” I want to be a daddy who cares for the souls of others. I want to point people to Jesus. I want to lead people to salvation in Him. I want people to go to heaven through faith in Jesus.
6- I want to be the daddy whose goal is heaven and taking his children with him.
Enoch influenced his whole family for the Lord. I want to do that as well. I am sure Enoch must have been overjoyed when old Noah showed up in heaven with his great-grandpa.
There is nothing better than taking your family with you to heaven! It’s better than anywhere in this world we could take them!
CONCLUSION---------------
ILL.- A judge who had a great number of cases involving families and homes once said: “We adults spend far too much time preparing the path for our youth and far too little time preparing our youth for the path.”
Daddy’s often think in terms of providing for their children but the greatest provision is spiritual living and training.
If I fail in my faith then I have failed as a father.
God help us all to be what He wants us to be!
