Exodus 20:12 Honour Your Parents ES 16May20100 1822
Exodus 20:12 "Honour your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you."
We have this impression that this is for the young kids or young people like us.
• But there is no time limit or age limit to this. It just says, “Honour your father and mother…”
• You may be 60 years old and your parents 90, and this still applies to you.
Why did God even put this into the 10 commandments?
• Imagine you are asked to set some rules for a school or a clubhouse, or group, and you can only have 10.
• What would you do? You would list out all the rules you need to have and try to get down to 10 most important ones. Those that you want everyone to abide by.
Imagine God doing that for life; to pen down the most important rules for life.
• You may want to have a list of 30 or 50 good guidelines, but you are only given 10 lines.
• So these 10 commandments (not even good suggestions) must be man’s important needs. They must be the most fundamental problems with man that God needs to address.
• Why… because they bring grave consequences if we do not follow them.
So we want to heed God’s advice. Honouring parents is important enough to be place about the 10 commandments for life. It is the commandment that comes with a promise!
God pen this down to remind us that:
(1) Respecting Authority is Fundamental to Life
We all live authority of some kind, all the time.
• We can only live right and well, when we live with accountability.
• To God ultimately, but also to the authorities God has set up for life.
• We are to respect the authority of our parents, church leaders, and teachers at school, our boss at work, and our government as citizens.
First we need to recognise God’s authority. This is the only way to fulfilment in life.
• King Solomon says in Ecclesiastes that nothing makes sense if we do not acknowledge God’s rule in our lives.
• Everything is meaningless unless, he concluded at the end we “fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” (Eccl 12:13)
• There is a correlation between the quality of life you have and the recognition of God’s authority over us.
The first sin in the Garden of Eden (the goodness of life) was to question God’s authority.
And so God places authorities in our lives, by which we are to learn submission and obedience.
• God designed life to be enjoyed best under authority, with accountability.
• Look at the military. It works best with firm authority and clear chain of command.
• Whether it is at home, in church, at the workplace or as people of a nation, we are called to honour the authorities God has placed over us.
• 1 Peter 2:13-15 “Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, 14or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right.”
At home it’s our parents. At school, our teachers. In church our pastors or leaders.
• Heb 13:17 “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.”
• Even angels are to submit to authority. Jude 6 “And the angels who did not keep their positions of authority but abandoned their own home - these he has kept in darkness, bound with everlasting chains for judgment on the great Day.” They have transgressed into God’s authority.
We never outgrow the need to be under authority.
• God wants us to honour the position of parenthood, and give our parents due recognition.
(2) Respect for Authority Begins at Home
The home is the first place we come to understand authority. It is the major forming factor in your life.
• That probably explains why God puts it in the 10 commandments, and it is the first that has to do with man’s relationships with people. The first 4 commandments have to do with our relationship with God.
• We need to learn submission and obedience in the home. It is our first school. And the longest lasting one – to the end of their lives.
Surveys have shown that people who get along with their parents have far less stress in their lives.
• They are able to relate with people well because they’ve learnt to respect their parents at home.
• How I relate to my parents will affect every other relationship.
• The person who says, “I’ll just do what I like. Nobody is going to tell me what to do!” will never keep a job. The boss will fire him.
• There are a lot of times you have to do what somebody tells you to do whether you want to or not. When you can do that, you can succeed in life. But where do you learn that from? The home.
Eph 6:1-3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"- which is the first commandment with a promise - 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
• Again we see a correlation between the quality of life and the respect you have for your parents. “You will live well and live longer…”
• God wants to bless those who have learnt to live under authority.
(3) There Are No Perfect Parents
God needs to emphasize it because it is difficult. We learn to do that even with imperfect parents.
All of us have weaknesses and faults and inconsistencies, mistakes. Only God is our perfect Father.
• Even the best parents have made mistakes and sinned. The Bible says, “We've all sinned.”
• None of us have perfect parents and you're not going to be perfect parents either.
• Parenthood is something you learn on the job; no warming up practices. You learn on the move.
So don’t be too hard on them. Understand where they are coming from.
• They don’t always make the right moves or say the right things. Learn to accept them.
• If we were sinners and for some, still are sinners, then there will be parents who are abusive and totally irresponsible. We are not called accept their sinful ways; we are called to recognise their position as parents.
Three ways to show our respect – the 3 A’s:
(I) ACCEPT THEM
• Accept them does not mean pretending that they are perfect. It does not mean ignoring their mistakes. It does not mean agreeing with everything they say blindly.
I accept them because God used them to bring me into this world
• For whatever ‘mysterious’ reason, God has so ‘appointed’ them as my parents.
• They gave you something that nobody else in the world could give you – your life.
• Whether they are excellent or poor in performance, you owe them your life.
• God gave you your parents for a purpose and will bring good out of this relationship, if you choose to respond in the right way.
(II) APPRECIATE THEM
They have a responsibility and therefore appreciate them
• They have a responsibility before God (whether they know it or not).
• They are doing their part to teach and help us grow. I will learn from them.
• Listen to what they have to say. Show them you appreciate their efforts.
Have you ever considered how much easier your parents' life would have been if they hadn't had you?
• When you get something from the supermarket and it has gone bad, you can just dump it into the trash.
• They cannot dump you, whatever happens. They have to put up with you, for so long.
• Nah, they wouldn’t want to; they love you. So let’s appreciate their sacrifice.
Parenting is expensive!
• The economics today alone are staggering. To raise a child to maturity will cost you at least a quarter of a million dollars.
• Somebody said a father is somebody who carries pictures where he once carried money. All the money is gone raising you up!
[Someone says there are 4 stages of life: (1) he believes in Santa Clause, (2) he doesn't believe in Santa Clause, (3) he is Santa Clause, (4) he looks like Santa Clause.]
(III) AFFIRM THEM
It is sad to see that the older parents get the less respect they get.
• It is easier to honour them when they are younger because we need them; they are of ‘use’ to us. But the older they get, the less useful they become.
• In fact, they become a burden. They are no longer wanted in the marketplace. Children have grown up and busy with their own families.
We want to affirm them, not just when they get old but always.
• Parents have a great need to feel and to know that they made some kind of positive contribution in your life. Have I invested well? Did I do right?
• They want to know how their children are doing. They need affirmation.
• So talk to them and share your life with them. Stay in touch with them. Make a call home when you’re going to be very late.
• Every time we do little acts like this, we are obeying the command, honour your father and mother. To honour means to understand the significance of.
• The Bible says we are to value and to treasure and to hold in highest esteem our parents.
So remember, it is our responsibility to take care of our elderly parents when they are old. Not the government’s responsibility.
• They can provide whatever facilities or helps for us but it is our responsibility to care for them.
• This is the cycle of the family. At one point in life, they fed you, bathed you, and cared for you. As they grow older, the roles are reversed. You need to feed them, nurse them and care for them.
• 1 Tim 5:8 “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
• When Jesus Christ was dying on the cross, one of the things that He did not forget was to care for His aged mother after He was gone. He entrusted her to John.
ACCEPT, APPRECIATE, and AFFIRM your parents.
• Pat them on the back and say, “Hey, you are doing a good job!”
