FIREPROOF – A LOVE THAT DARES
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
INTRODUCTION… Truth or Dare
This morning as we begin, we will begin with a game. We are going to play a game of Truth or Dare. I have in my hands a basket… with two types of cards… one for ‘Truth” and one for “Dare.” This should be a game that all of you know how to play. One player starts the game by asking another player, “Truth or Dare?” If the queried player answers “truth,” then the questioning player asks a question, usually embarrassing. If the queried player answers “dare,” then the questioning player asks the queried to do something, also usually embarrassing. I also like the repetition rule. This means players cannot chose “truth” three times in a row. That way it will not allow players to choose “truth” all the time or dare all the time, making the game more interesting.
Truth or Dare person 1
Truth or Dare person 2
Truth or Dare person 3
Isn’t interesting that in general we will take dares for stupid things and not for things that matter? We will eat pickles mixed with honey, kiss the guy or girl with marshmallows in our mouths, or run around the car naked, but when it comes to something serious, we balk at the dare. The word “dare” is a verb that means “to have the necessary courage or boldness for something.” Over the next month you will be challenged... tested… urged... dared… in your love life. Do you have the necessary courage to love as God directs? Do you have the boldness to believe in God and allow Him to heal your marriage? Do you accept the dare from God that He knows best in your love life?
This morning as we begin the challenge to you, we are using a movie as the vehicle for the challenge.
This month we will be using the movie “Fireproof” to dare is in our marriages. We showed the movie last night
here at church and we will show it again at the conclusion of our FireProof Series. I would also like to mention that there are special studies during the sermon series this month that we would love for you to get involved with. The movie Fireproof tells the story of a couple that comes back from the brink of divorce by surrendering their marriage and their lives to Jesus Christ. The movie can be summarized in one sentence: “Never leave your partner behind.” The lessons that the couple learns through a painful process are the very same lessons that we all need to discover about loving people God’s way.
Our dare begins this morning by defining what the dare involves. The dare is all about love. It is all about loving someone in the way that God desires, commands, and has designed and not in the manner that we choose. We will discover that love is about giving and not about receiving. We will discover that love is all about grace and not about guilt. We will also discover (and this is the most difficult of the three) that love is about commitment and not about feelings.
I. LOVE IS ABOUT GIVING AND NOT ABOUT RECEIVING
READ 1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-5a
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking…”
These verses in 1 Corinthians tell us what love is and what it is not. We can read in the verse that love is not about taking from others. Love is not about taking someone’s esteem and tearing them down. Love is not about taking away a spirit of respect. Love is not about you and what you receive from a relationship… it never has been according to God’s definition and He is the author of love.
Love is, however, all about giving. Paul says that love is first about giving patience. What does that mean exactly? How does that work out in a marriage? The word patience is one that means “to be of long spirit” or “not to lose heart.” It also means “mild and slow in avenging.” Patience needs another definition especially for marriage and I have come up with a great definition: “persistent tolerance.” Love is something that is full of persistent tolerance. I thought I made up this combination of words… “persistent tolerance” until I googled the phrase. Apparently “persistent tolerance” is a medical term that basically means that with constant exposure to certain medications that a person’s body becomes tolerant to certain medications and their cells even alter to become resistant to medications (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17218615).
To be honest, that makes a lot of sense when it comes to marriage. I hope I explain this well and have put a diagram in your sermon notes to help… because this is important. Imagine in the situation that you are the body and your spouse’s annoying habits, the frustrations if your marriage, and the road blocks of your life are the medication. Those frustrations and habits come from them and get under your skin and cause issues. Let’s also assume that they will never change and the same annoying habits your spouse has today they will always have in 25 years. In patience you, the body, will develop a tolerance towards those stresses and God will work and change you to be able to deal with them. Loving God’s way changes our hearts to be able to interact and handle the other person in a patient manner. In the end, the frustrations and roadblocks to your marriage are still there, but God has changed you to deal with them. Does that makes sense? Loving God’s way changes our hearts to deal with other people.
Paul also states that love is about giving kindness. What does that mean exactly? How does that work out in a marriage? Kindness is love in action. Kindness is compassion and sympathy and gentleness. Kindness is thoughtfulness, consideration, and helpfulness. I do not wish to belabor the point, but Paul says that love cannot be just on the inside, but that it needs to leak out into our words, in our actions, and in how we are helpful to our spouse.
Kindness is using the nice word instead of the condescending one.
Kindness is helping when you don’t really want to.
Kindness is being considerate and having good manners day after day in difficult circumstances.
Love Dare:
God dares you to have persistent tolerance with your spouse.
God dares you to be kind in word and deed.
II. LOVE IS ABOUT GRACE AND NOT GUILT
READ 1 CORINTHIANS 13:5b-6
“[love] it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”
As we look at these verses today and we think about marriage, verses 5-6 in 1 Corinthians are all about arguing in marriage. In these verses, I see the couple who walk on egg shells around each other because each word is suspect and can cause an argument. In these verses, we see the couple who when they argue, dredge up all the old mistakes and all the old words that have been said into new arguments. We see the couple that does not forgive but holds grudges. In these verses, we see the spouse who does not help when the other is in distress. We see a couple who does not offer words of apology and those words are not accepted even if they are offered.
Loving God’s way means that we work towards not being easily angered when our spouse overspends. It means offering grace when the other messes up with the kids or disciplines poorly. It means not saying “I told you so” when it is well deserved. God is not telling us to love in a manner that He doesn’t already do. Exodus 34:6 says, “The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” This same exact thought is repeated in the book of Numbers, Nehemiah, Psalms, Joel, Jonah, and Nahum and that is just in the Old Testament. He forgives us over and over. Psalm 103:12 tells us, He does not bring up past sin. God loves us the way He wants us to love other people.
Now, you may say to me… ‘I’m not God. He is perfect. He can love that way because He is God and you don’t know my marriage!’ You are right… you are not God and you are not perfect, but that doesn’t mean we do not strive with all our might for His standard of love. And to be honest, most of the time we don’t try all that hard. Shame on us.
Love Dare:
God dares you to have grace when arguing and not bringing up old arguments into the present
God dares you to be gracious in your words with each other.
III. LOVE IS ABOUT CHOICE AND NOT ABOUT FEELING
READ 1 CORINTHIANS 13:7-8
“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”
I shall be blunt…
You can choose to protect even when you feel like pulling back and that is love.
You can choose to trust even when you don’t want to and that is love.
You can choose to hope and trust in God even when there is no hope and that is love.
You can choose to fail.
You can choose to quit.
You can choose to love your own way and not God’s… but in the end that is not really love. Love is as God defines it. Loving our way is not what God wants for us and that is not the example He has shown us to follow.
I cannot help but notice in these verses that the word “always” appears before protection, trust, hope, and perseverance because love is consistent. One of the challenges we face when it comes to loving God’s way is to not only act this way, but to do it consistently. The dare to us from God though is to live and love His way and not our own.
Love Dare:
God dares you to love His way consistently.
God dares you not to give up on your marriage.
CONCLUSION
I suppose my whole sermon is one big “Truth or Dare” session. The truth is that most of us don’t really try all that hard to love God’s way in our relationships… in marriages, in friendships, and at work. We just let it all ride and hope for the best. That is the truth. But the dare is to love God’s way.
Love Dare:
God dares you to have persistent tolerance with your spouse.
God dares you to be kind in word and deed.
Love Dare:
God dares you to have grace when arguing and not bringing up old arguments into the present
God dares you to be gracious in your words with each other.
Love Dare:
God dares you to love His way consistently.
God dares you not to give up on your marriage.
TRUTH OR DARE QUESTIONS USED:
DARE
Stand up on the pew and do your best rooster impression
DARE
Stand up and sing “Happy Birthday” to yourself really loud
DARE
Challenge a person near you to thumb wrestle
TRUTH
What has been the longest you went without a bath?
TRUTH
If you could get the perfect tattoo… what would it be?
TRUTH
If you could be married to a movie star, who would it be?
