1After these things Jesus showed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias; and he showed himself in this way. 2Gathered there together were Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin, Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his disciples. 3Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.” They said to him, “We will go with you.” They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. 4Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach; but the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. 5Jesus said to them, “Children, you have no fish, have you?” They answered him, “No.” 6He said to them, “Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish. 7That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on some clothes, for he was naked, and jumped into the sea. 8But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, only about a hundred yards off. 9When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on it, and bread. 10Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.” 11So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred fifty-three of them; and though there were so many, the net was not torn. 12Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” Now none of the disciples dared to ask him, “Who are you?” because they knew it was the Lord. 13Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. 14This was now the third time that Jesus appeared to the disciples after he was raised from the dead. 15When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” 16A second time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.” 17He said to him the third time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. 18Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.” 19(He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this he said to him, “Follow me.”. John 21:1-19 (NRSV)
Quite a number of years ago I sat at my parent’s dining room table staring at a math problem. I hated homework, and math was the reason why! Giving-up was on my mind, and very nearly won the day – except for the fact that quitting was not exactly an option in Dad’s house. In order to quit you had to lie about having completed the work, or slip out the back door when he’s not looking. Neither of those solutions worked very well, nor for very long…Dad worked at the school; he knew all my teachers!
Now I didn’t want to risk a whipping for slipping out the back door, or going to hell for being caught in a lie, so I appealed to the captain of the Brownworth ship. I whined, This math is impossible; the teacher doesn’t know reality. Besides, math is never used in real life; I’m not going to ever learn this dumb stuff – can I watch cartoons now? My father vetoed the TV and asked to see the math problem. (Years later he admitted he knew less about that kind of math than anyone else in the house). Gently my Dad asked me to explain what the teacher had told us in class about solving those problems. You know what happened – I could not explain to Dad unless I reviewed in my mind what the teacher had said; by relying on the method of solving the problem instead of simply staring in anguish at the problem, my homework got turned in on time. Dad didn’t give me the solution; he helped me remember how to get there.
Peace is like that. Often we focus on the lack of peace in our lives, rather than rely on what brings peace. One of the great murderers of peace is guilt. At times I’ve been stuck in guilt over past failures and sins in my life. I have also known a lot of people who have been paralyzed by guilt. The question before the house today is how can I overcome the guilt I feel over things that I’ve done, and what it has caused in my life?
Simon Peter had that question burning a hole in his heart. When we meet him in this text it is just a week or so past the roller coaster ride of Passion Week. Jesus had entered Jerusalem triumphantly, king-apparent to the throne. Then there was confrontation with the Pharisees, a troubled night in Gethsemane and the betrayal of Judas. In the garden Peter tried to defend Jesus with a sword, but Jesus told Peter to stop – swords were for death; Jesus was about life.
So Peter was confused and frightened; he followed the prisoner Jesus to Pilate’s house to see what would happen. It was cold outside and Peter was empty inside, so he moved to where the other citizens were gathered around a campfire; some people recognized him and questioned him about his relationship to Jesus. In fear, Peter, who had a habit of proclaiming he’d follow Jesus to the death, denied even knowing Christ three times – then went out and wept bitterly over betraying his friend and teacher. And that tells the story of us as well. Sooner or later all of us betray Christ. With either action or inaction, word or silence, we have failed…and do we ever have guilt!
Betraying Christ is the worst of it, but that’s not all of it. We also betray others – lies, gossip, theft or violence…and there is guilt. We betray communities with broken promises and unfulfilled responsibilities…and there is guilt. We betray posterity with unfaithfulness and promiscuity…and there is guilt.
The list goes on, but, perhaps the most common of all is self-betrayal. We start out in life to conquer the world, change the world and bring back Camelot; we wind up settling for a paycheck and good healthcare. The betrayal is against our better nature and calling.
The ultimate betrayal is to slip into denial that we have betrayed anyone at all; we betray by deceiving ourselves. We blame our problems on genetics and social injustice, racism and politics, poverty and the power of the system. And while there is personal guilt underneath, strong, wide and deep enough to float a battleship, we lay off that guilt on anything handy (or any one). In turn, we experience a “disconnect” between our betrayal and the sense of shame or guilt we should bear and face.
But, like my aversion to math, wanting to watch cartoons rather than work-through to a solution, we find a way to distance ourselves from the process:
• We stuff tons of guilt way-down where no-one else can see, not even ourselves – and we Twitter and Text and FaceBook ourselves into imaginary relationships which (ultimately) have no responsibility, meaning or depth.
• We shop and travel to the beach house, mountain cabin, or resort at the far ends of the earth to find fulfillment that is never quite the same as the memory of the way it used to be.
• We keep waiting and looking for something to replace this emptiness and aimless, bland taste of life, and nothing works – the guilt is there, doing its insidious, cancerous tearing-apart of our insides.
We want to scream with the Preacher of Ecclesiastes, Vanity of vanities…everything is vanity, empty….WORTHLESS! Is it any wonder that the sale of anti-depressants and the suicide rate are at an all-time high?
Guilt is a Powerful Destroyer
A reality check at this point says that unresolved guilt is a powerful destroyer of many things:
• Marriages and family life – pathological guilt kills healthy relationships
• Work atmosphere – guilt keeps us from trusting other people
• Personality, joy and peace – guilt comes against everything good and holy in our lives.
• Guilt can lead to depression and anger, and can be the basis for addictions to drugs, alcohol or even unwholesome personal behavior.
In an attempt to get relief from personal and psychological pain, we become attracted to anything that promises help. And you know…things that are bad for you rarely advertise the fact. Recall that in the Garden of Eden Eve looked at the fruit of the tree…it looked good, but it caused a whole lot of trouble. Abraham’s nephew, Lot took one look at the plains of Sodom and thought “WOW” what an opportunity. Ask him a few years later if it turned out to be a good deal! It cost him everything. That extra helping of double-fudge ripple may taste good going down, but ask your arteries how that deal’s going!
When it comes to dealing with guilt, you must deal with guilt, and what the source of the guilt may be – not the feelings that guilt produces.
Two Kinds of Guilt
Guilt can wear many faces and be called by many names, but like many issues, guilt comes under just two wide categories – genuine and false. Let’s talk first about the false, or phantom guilt.
Phantom Guilt
Phantom guilt is like phantom pain felt by amputees. When people sustain an injury, or have a disease which requires a limb to be removed, it is common for the person to feel the lost limb – even knowing it isn’t there. The pain is, perhaps so imprinted on the memory banks that the pain center of our brain still reacts with sympathetic messages.
How does “phantom” or false guilt get a foothold in our lives? It is primarily imposed upon us by others, or it can also be self-imposed.
When Other People Impose Guilt On Us
We all have people in our lives who think they know how we should act or what we should be doing with our time. Some are very good at imposing a guilt trip. This is a false, or phantom kind of guilt…we will see the reason we should reject this in a moment.
When We Impose Guilt On Ourselves
A second kind of imposition is self-inflicted. Friends, this is the specialty of we who call ourselves Christian believer. Just look at some of our favorite hymns. We’re fond of dwelling on the verse of “Amazing Grace” that says we’re wretches…. And then there’s “Alas, and Did My Savior Bleed” because we get to call ourselves “worms”. The current hymnals have “…would he devote that sacred head for sinners such as I?” However, when Isaac Watts wrote that hymn in 1707 it was: for such a worm as I. Any self-respecting guilt-hound knows that!
Well, whether guilt is imposed by your great Aunt who always thought you’d be president, or self-inflicted because deep down you know you’re a wretched worm, these forms of guilt are pathological, out-of-control, unreasonable! They should be rejected for one simple reason:
Neither others, nor you are God!
That’s it – simple, un-rocket-science-like! But, you have to be honest. To reject guilt out of hand, without considering where it came from can lead to arrogance that makes you believe you can never be wrong or faulted. If your great Aunt guilts you for robbing the First National Bank, you’d do well to hear her out!
Phantom guilt is imposed by people; genuine guilt has a different source:
Genuine Guilt is Imposed by God
There are four words I’d like for us to remember today when it comes to what I’ll call good guilt:
1. Appropriate (because of sin)
Good (God-imposed) guilt is appropriate, because God loves us. Everywhere in God’s Word it tells us that when God comes down on us for sin, it is because he wants to save us from harm.
• God spoke through Ezekiel (36:27ff) the prophet about how God’s Spirit would come to live within God’s people to teach us how to live, so that our lives might be profitable and holy
• God announced in the Christian Scriptures (John 16:8) how His Spirit would “reprove” or convict the world about wrong-living, about sin and how sin brings judgment.
Peter was confident and militant. He’d proclaimed loudly that he would follow Jesus, even to the death. He tried to make good on that in Gethsemane, flailing at the soldiers who tried to arrest Jesus. Scripture says that Peter cut off the High Priest’s servant’s ear.
When Jesus and Peter were reunited at that lakefront breakfast scene Peter was still confused about it all. So Jesus told him in a way that opened his eyes to his arrogance and sin. Peter required a wake-up call….and he got it! God loves us, and when we sin he places guilt within so we will know we’ve sinned, and can take corrective action.
Peter was much like Tim Allen and Kirstie Allen in the movie “For Richer or Poorer”. After living a life of excess and power, the IRS has taken all their money and they are on the run, doing anything they can to stay out of jail. They wind up in an Amish community, and in a hilarious round of humility lessons they learn that they are accountable for their sin.
When God uses good guilt to get our attention it’s appropriate…and
2. Inescapable (because He’s God)
You cannot ignore God without consequences. It doesn’t take a whole lot of brain-power to figure out the incredible parallel Jesus uses to get Peter to understand his sin. The last time Peter saw Jesus at a campfire was at Pilate’s house, and Jesus was being beaten unrecognizable; Peter could only look on.
At this point on the beach, Jesus asks Peter three times, “do you love me?” At the other campfire Peter had been asked 3 times “are you a Jesus follower?” His three answers included, “No”, “No way”, and “Get away from me, I tell you I have never even seen Jesus before”. Is there any way Peter’s heart was not breaking when Jesus asked, “Do you love me?”
God uses guilt in our lives to get us to face the truth about our betrayal and who we really have become – so far from the image of God – so distant from who we’re meant to be, what God wants to reclaim in us.
This good guilt - it’s appropriate, inescapable and
3. Constructive (because it convicts)
God’s good guilt is constructive – meant to drive us to face our need for His grace. Unless we deal with the issues of sin – as the hymn has it, our being prone to wander away from God – unless we face it and confess, or name it, we will do nothing but stuff that guilt deep in our personality, where it will become a fertile field of anger and self-loathing. It’s a seed-bed of self-hurt; it will bear fruit!
Conviction in the soul of our sin is the antidote for that fermenting hostility against God. Scripture says that once we were enemies, but now we have been made friends with God.[1] Friends, Methodists believe we can desert; we can leave our friendship with God behind and cross back to enemy lines – become enemies against God once again. Harbored sin will alienate you from God. His good guilt drives you back to Him…don’t resist it! Appropriate, Inescapable, Constructive, and…
4. Good Guilt is Surgical (because it cures)
God’s good guilt can be surgical; it can heal, it can take the cancerous guilt of sin away. But, my friends, it’s elective surgery! God won’t take you by the scruff of the neck and throw you on the table. You’ve got to want this cure.
In God's Smuggler, Brother Andrew tells in the first couple of chapters the story of his early life—one section of which dealt with his hell-for-leather days in the Dutch army in Indonesia. While serving in that area, fighting against Sukarno in the late 1940s he bought a young ape, a gibbon, who took to him, and Andy treated him as a pet in the barracks. He hadn't had the gibbon for many weeks before he noticed that when he touched it in some areas around the waist it seemed to hurt him. So he examined the gibbon more closely and found a raised welt that went around his waist. He carefully laid the animal down on his bed and pulled back the matted hair from this welt until he could see what was causing the problem. He discovered that evidently when the gibbon had been a baby someone had tied a piece of wire around his middle and had never taken it off.
As the monkey grew larger the wire became embedded in his flesh. Obviously, it must have caused him a great deal of discomfort. So that evening Andrew began the operation, taking his razor and shaving off all the monkey's hair in a three-inch-wide swath around his middle. While the other boys in the barracks looked on, he cut ever so gently into the tender flesh until he exposed the wire.
The gibbon lay there with the most amazing patience. Even when he obviously was hurting him the gibbon looked up with eyes that seemed to say, “I understand,” until at long last he was able to get down to the wire, cut it, and pull it away. Instantly, as soon as the operation was over, the gibbon jumped up, did a cartwheel, danced around his shoulders, and pulled Andy's hair in joyful glee to the delight of all the boys in the barracks. “After that, my gibbon and I were inseparable. I think I identified with him as strongly as he with me. I think I saw in the wire that had bound him a kind of parallel to the chain of guilt still so tight around myself—and in his release, the thing I too longed for.” [2]
How Do I Sign-Up For Surgery?
If you have recognized something in all this talk about guilt and the pain it causes, there is a connection God wants to make with you today. Remember Peter the fisherman who became a follower of Jesus – and then the great Apostle who led the early church? Do you recall what he was doing just before the breakfast meeting? He was fishing – all night; they came home empty. He was a professional fisherman going broke! Jesus came by and told him the fish were on the other side of the boat. “Turn around, Peter…drop your net on the other side of your boat!”
Do you imagine Peter laughed? No, he turned around and dropped the net on the other side…and hauled in 153 big ones! Do the math…all night my way = zero results; two seconds His way = jackpot!
Then comes breakfast, and three questions that make Peter face the rest of his life, his integrity, his eternity. And his net was just as empty. Jesus’ questions were just the same as his fishing advice…turn, Peter, turn. Turn around and face me, come to me, drop all the superficial stuff and love me.
There is more than one way to handle guilt. Judas chose suicide, a very temporary solution to pain, because the soul lives on forever. Peter was as bewildered perhaps as Judas, but he hung around. When Jesus showed up Peter could have run away, but he decided to face his problem and deal with it.
On the lake the big fish catch was just on the other side of the boat – all Peter had to do was turn.
In his heart, peace was just on the other side of grace, and all he had to do was turn.
And, by the way, the word “turn” is a good synonym for “repent”.
• Change your mind, turn it towards Him.
• Change your ways, turn towards heaven.
• Change your destiny for eternity…that peace is waiting, just on the other side of the boat!
What boat are you in? Empty net boat? Empty life boat? Turn!
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ENDNOTES
1] Colossians 1:21ff
2] James Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited, 1988
