Choose Your Own Adventure!
“Be a Family Man!”
Today the Adventure that we are called to is “Be a Family Man!” That may sound like it’s aimed only at fathers, but Family Man has a better ring to it than “Family Person”. So when we say Family Man, we are addressing everybody!
1. Define Family
A family is a unit composed not only of children, but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
- Ogden Nash
I want to take a moment and give us all some perspective of what family truly is. This past week I’ve been asking people what they consider family, and responses I got:
- Blood Relations
- Close Relationships
- Those you associate with
I want to show you an example of how Jesus defined family:
Matthew 12:46-50 (NIV)
While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. 47Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”
48He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. 50For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
Jesus takes the idea of family, and expands it for the believer. He is saying that when you commit your life to God, you are adopted into a family of faith.
At the risk of sounding Christian-ese here, the body of believers are your spiritual brothers and sisters. Maybe someone mentored you and they are more like your spiritual mother or father.
The idea of family is hard to avoid, but that doesn’t mean we don’t try. Family can often conjure up feelings of pain. In every family, there is stress and strain. But did you know we are commanded to minister to our family?
It doesn’t matter if you don’t have blood relatives; you have family. And you are called to…
2. Minister to the Family
An investment analogy… Starts off small, but can pay huge dividends for future generations…
1 Timothy 3:5 (NLT)
For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church?
Family is your first ministry! So let’s highlight the ways we are called to minister to our families:
A. Commitment
To prove his love for her, he swam the deepest river, crossed the widest desert and climbed the highest mountain. She divorced him. He was never home.
Rose Sands, The Saturday Evening Post.
Quality Time vs. Quantity Time
There’s a common misconception that if the time we put in appears “quality” with our family it’s enough. Just curious, is there a checklist that must be met before we can call it quality?
I’ll use an example of my family…
Truth be told, if we’re going to invest in our family, it’s going to take time…A LOT of time.
Ecclesiastes 5:4-5 (NLT)
When you make a promise to God, don’t delay in following through, for God takes no pleasure in fools. Keep all the promises you make to him. 5 It is better to say nothing than to make a promise and not keep it.
What should our commitments be like? They should be:
- Total
- Count the Cost/Pay the Price
- Finish Well!
B. Teach
This form of ministry is easily overlooked, but if we want to see our family mature and pass on the Truth that we know, we must be willing to teach each other.
Deuteronomy 6:5-9 (NIV)
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
When regard for truth has been broken down or even slightly weakened, all things will remain doubtful.
- St. Augustine
Dr. James MacDonald lists some ways we can begin to build strong families (whoever are family is at the moment) with some of my own additions:
- Start a regular time of family bible reading and prayer
- Memorize scripture together
- Have contests to learn the bible
- Encourage personal bible study
- Do a bible study series as a family
- Turn off the TV!
- Attend a bible study or class together
- Pray and read scripture before bedtime
- Create a set of family values together
Teaching Investment: Corrects, Guides and Instructs based on Truth, not personal agenda!
C. Support
At times this defines the family. To have the Love and Support in times of great need is incredibly important.
Galatians 6:2-3 (NLT)
Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. 3 If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.
“Every Christian community must realize that not only do the weak need the strong, but also that the strong cannot exist without the weak. The elimination of the weak is the death of the fellowship.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer
We need the weak? Absolutely. God has equipped us all uniquely to minister to the family! We need to minister and support others to remind ourselves of who we are really serving first.
How can we support?
- Our Words (Saying)
- Our Actions (Doing)
- Our Resources (Giving)
D. Honor
“What is honored in the land will be cultivated there.” – Plato
Honor is tough for most of us, because there’s always an amount of pride that has to die inside us before we will truly “Honor” someone.
I won’t pretend it’s easy. It takes sacrifice. It takes commitment. It takes deliberate action. It is commanded.
Proverbs 3:27 (NASB)
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, When it is in your power to do it.
Honoring takes form:
- Verbally
- Service
“An exhaustive study shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.”
Earl Wilson.
- Consistency
Honoring your family takes guts, but it has farther-reaching effects than you may ever see. Long term investments…
E. Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a decision to release a person from the obligation that resulted when they injured you.
In other words, they no longer “owe” you. It doesn’t mean I put my self in a place to be abused or betrayed again. It means, I’m moving on.
Colossians 3:13 (NIV)
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
When we forgive:
- Damaging Emotions are removed
- Healing Efforts are renewed (kindness)
- Healing Attitudes are restored (tender-heartedness)
- Christ’s example is elevated!
F. Protect Unity
There’s an easy way to protect the unity of the family: “Love One Another”
1 John 4:7-8
Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love, does not know God, because God is love.
This commandment is repeated several times in the New Testament. It is so simple, yet so profound. That might be why even God’s Church struggles to obey it. We take it for granted.
What is Love. 1 Corinthians 13 is often read in your average wedding ceremony, but when I read it I emphasize the “verbs” or “actions” God calls Love:
1 Corinthians 13:1-8 (NIV)
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.
I found a poem a few years ago that summed up the simplicity of Loving One Another:
It is silence – when your words would hurt.
It is patience – when your neighbor’s curt.
It is deafness – when a scandal flows.
It is thoughtfulness – for other’s woes.
It is promptness – when stern duty calls.
It is courage – when misfortune falls.
[Source Unknown]
It’s time to invest in the family, Be a Family Man!
-Prayer
Go Further! - Personal Study Questions
1. Who do you consider to be your family? Why?
2. What obstacles are keeping you from ministering to your family?
3. What efforts are you going to make to start ministering to those you consider family better than you already do? Make a list and make it a lifestyle!
