Why Forgiving Others is So Important
Various Scriptures
March 21, 2010
NOTE: THE ME/WE/GOD/YOU/WE FORMAT IS FROM ANDY STANLEY'S BOOK, "COMMUNICATING FOR A CHANGE."
Me/We:
We’ve spent the last two weeks talking about this whole issue of forgiveness.
We’ve looked at what it is and what it isn’t, and last week we looked at the life of Joseph as someone who had really been in a position in life where, had he chosen to be, could have allowed unforgiveness and bitterness to take over and run his life.
He had been mistreated and abused by his family.
He was unjustly accused and punished for something he didn’t do.
And he was forgotten by someone he had done a favor for.
And yet because he was able to grab the eternal perspective on things, he could forgive.
It wasn’t easy, and it’s not easy for many people to forgive. Some people, some of you, have been hurt so much and so badly that forgiveness is an effort, and without the help of God you wouldn’t be able to do that.
And when someone says to you, “Well, you know that time heals all wounds,” or “You know what they say, ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,’” you want to punch them in the throat and say, “Tell you what – let me give you something you have to forgive me for and see how easy it is!” Right?
Because you know what? Time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds. Total healing may never take place this side of heaven. And words do hurt sometimes.
We’re going to spend a few weeks after Easter talking about how our words can affect other people – for good or for bad.
But the fact is that all of us have been hurt from time to time and we’ve all been tempted to hold onto that and nurse that grudge.
Because let’s just be honest: it’s fun to nurse a grudge isn’t it? It’s fun to think of ways we can get even or make their lives miserable.
And we look in the mirror and see these little devil horns start poking out of our heads like Elmer Fudd has when he’s trying to get Bugs Bunny.
The problem is that unforgiveness for the Christian is not an option.
When we withhold forgiveness from someone, we not only hurt the other person, we hurt ourselves and our relationship with God.
Today we’re going to look at four reasons forgiveness is so important.
And my hope is that if you’re finding yourself holding something against someone, you’ll find freedom to forgive, and you’ll find healing for the hurts that have been inflicted on you by someone.
God: Four reasons forgiving others is so important:
1. Forgiving others is being obedient to God.
Mentioned this two weeks ago, but want to mention it again because it’s just too important to overlook.
Ephesians 4:32 –
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Colossians 3:13 –
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
There are no exceptions to this. There is no reasoning with God about this. There is no reason to pray about whether you should forgive that person.
He commands it. We need to do it. To not do it is to be in disobedience. And disobedience is sin, right? Right.
You might need God’s help to forgive someone, like Corrie ten Boom did when confronted by one of the cruel guards from Ravensbruck prison camp.
With God all things are possible – including forgiving those who have hurt you – including those who have hurt you so bad you are scarred for life because of it.
Remember, forgiving doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting. It means releasing your right for vengeance, your right to hold on that offense, and your right to hear, “I’m sorry.”
With God’s help you can do that. And He wants to help you with that. But you are not excused from forgiving.
Remembering that Christ forgave you for all your sins should be a motivation for forgiving others.
2. Forgiveness frees us from slavery to the past.
Unforgiveness is like a chain around your soul. But it’s a chain you can break with the help of God.
We can never move on to healing and reconciliation when you’re a slave to the past.
You can never move on to the depth of relationship and enjoyment of Christ that’s possible and that He wants for you if you are chained to the past in unforgiveness.
3. Forgiving others has some benefits:
Special: An interview with “Dr. Phil” (This was an "interview" with a guy dressed up as Dr. Phil)
Talking points:
"When we allow ourselves to feel like victims or sit around dreaming up how to retaliate against people who have hurt us, these thought patterns take a toll on our minds and bodies," says Michael McCullough, director of research for the National Institute for Healthcare Research. (Sermoncentral.com – from the message entitled, Forgiveness, by Johanna Radelfinger)
“Dr. Phil, let’s talk about some areas that are affected by a person’s unwillingness to forgive.”
> Emotional
Unforgiveness makes it easier to engage in things like gossip, slander, resentment, etc.
People who forgive:
- have better mental health than people who do not forgive.
- have lower amounts of anger and fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression.
> Physical
- benefit from better immune functioning and lower blood pressure.
- feel better physically.
> Social
- maintain more satisfying and long-lasting relationships.
1 Corinthians 13:5 – (Love) keeps no record of wrongs.
No one wants to hang around with someone who is constantly bitter and unforgiving, because they’re always going to be wondering what’s going to happen if they blow it around you.
> Spiritual
We break down barriers in our own relationship with Christ.
Your relationship with God is hindered. They joy of that relationship will be gone, and it interferes with your prayer life.
Matthew 6:14-15 –
“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
You might have been praying about something for a long time, but God doesn’t seem to be saying yes to your prayer.
You might want to look in your heart and the Holy Spirit to show you if you’ve been withholding forgiveness from someone for something.
Maybe it’s a little thing, but you’ve been holding onto that for some time.
And maybe it’s huge – and you need God’s help to be able to forgive that person like Corrie ten Boom did.
And by the way – that’s the kind of prayer God loves to answer.
End of interview
The fourth and maybe the most important reason we need to forgive others is that…
4. It reflects Christ’s work in YOU.
Look again at the first two verses we looked at earlier:
Ephesians 4:32 –
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Colossians 3:13 –
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
If you are a Christian, you are forgiven. You didn’t deserve it, you didn’t earn it, and you couldn’t buy it. It was given to you free when you asked for it.
If you’re a Christian, you are supposed to be a living reflection of Jesus to the world around us.
And if you’re withholding forgiveness, that reflection is tarnished to the point where they can’t see an accurate image of Jesus.
You: I want to invite prayer for two things in particular:
The first is for those who maybe have never really understood the depths of Christ’s forgiveness toward them before, and that’s hindered them from forgiving.
And then I want to pray for any here who have been unable to forgive someone to this point.
Ask God to show you if there is anyone you have not forgiven for something.
For some of you, it’s not an issue of asking God to show you. You know who it is. That person’s face is in your mind right now, and the hurt is still there.
That’s understandable, by the way. I mentioned earlier in this series that forgiveness isn’t pretending you haven’t been hurt or acting like nothing happened.
As that person or persons to mind, ask God to help you to forgive that person from your heart.
Ask Him to help you release that person from your grip of unforgiveness and ask Him to help you love that person, keeping no record of wrongs toward that person any longer.
I’m going to do something I don’t do very often: I’m going to open the altar.
If you want to come up here and offer that person to God, entrusting them to God and in faith, forgiving them, I just want to invite you to come up and pray.
We’ll take time here as we end to pray together. I’ll pray with you individually here at the altar. If you want to tell me what you’re forgiving, that’s fine. If you don’t, no problem. God knows who it is what they need to be forgiven of.
So as we sing this last chorus, you come. And we’ll pray after the chorus is over.
