"KIDS DO THE DARNDEST THINGS IN 10 YEARS TIME"
Bill Shapino
According to the American Society for Lesser-Known Childhood Statistics, by the time your child is 10, she will have:
* Soiled 8,952 diapers
* Watched 9,486 hours of television
* Demanded 345 readings of Goodnight Moon.
* Wedged 13 pieces of chewed bubble gum under the kitchen table.
* Asked you three times, in public, how babies are made.
* Claimed, on two separate occasions, that it was a big dog who knocked the vase off the mantel
* Sung "I Love You, You Love Me" 443 times
* Launched 53 peas onto the kitchen floor.
* Made 82 claims that her younger brother started it
* Insisted, "But daddy said I could" 154 times
* Lost 29 important phone messages
* Heard you ask, "Do I have to pull this car over?" 37 times.
* Showed you 23 worms she dug up in the backyard
* Said, "Jenny Spitzer's mother lets us" 14 times
* Caught 54 colds
* Shared 54 colds with you.
* Hugged you sweetly more times than you can count!!!!!!!!!!
ƒ{ The greatest, toughest, and most rewarding thing we've ever attempted is parenting.
ƒ{ We've:
Ropes course
Water ski, dirt bike
Built our own house
Pastored
ƒ{ Nothing is in the same category
ƒ{ There's no reference book
ƒ{ It can be exhausting, frustrating
ƒ{ Like the lady who...
o ...just had her fourth child and got a play pen from a friend, she wrote a thank you note to her friend for the play pen that read:
o It's just what I needed. Every day, I sit in it and the kids can't get near me!
ƒ{ Someone said I should have been a grandparent first
ƒ{ It's easier the second time around
ƒ{ But, being a parent isn't a trial run
ƒ{ It's the real deal!
„« Today, we want to give you some important ingredients that will help your children to be prepared for life
1. ATTITUDE AND AFFIRMATION
* Patti waking up the kids saying "Today is going to be the best day ever!"
* Your attitude at the beginning of a task will determine the outcome more than anything else
* Build their self-esteem with affirmation
* With high self-esteem they won't waste their time doing dumb things to impress people because of peer pressure
* They already know they have value
* Your child's judgment of himself...influences the friends that he chooses.
* How he gets along with others...the kind of person he marries
* And how productive he will be
* His creativity...integrity...stability
* And whether he will be a leader or a follower
* Their attitude toward themselves determines how they will live all parts of their lives
o Once a farmer was out working in his fields alone when down the road came a tired looking man.
o "Where ya goin', stranger?", the farmer asked
o The man leaped back, startled, and with a trembling voice and bulging eyes replied, "T T To the next town." "What are the people like in the next town?"
o "What were they like in the last town?" the farmer asked.
o "They were mean and cruel, and I didn't like them at all." The stranger blurted.
o The farmer sadly shook his head and looked down. "I'm afraid you'll find the people of the next town to be the same way."
o A few days later, another man came down the same road.
o "How ya doin' stranger?" the farmer asked, to which the stranger replied, "Very good, sir, thank you for asking."
o "Say, what do you know of the people in the next town?"
o The farmer looked at him for a moment and asked wisely, "What were they like in the last one you were in?"
o "Oh, my! They were very friendly and kind to me, and I enjoyed them very much!" replied the stranger.
o A smile came to the farmer's face and he said, "You'll find the people of the next town to be exactly the same way."
2. REPROOF AND REAFFIRM
Proverbs 29:15
"The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother."
Reads Story (James Dobson)
In the absence of parental leadership, some children become extremely obnoxious and defiant, especially in public places. Perhaps the best example was a ten-year-old boy named Robert, who was a patient of my good friend Dr. William Slonecker. Dr. Slonecker said his pediatric staff dreaded the days when Robert was scheduled for an office visit. He literally attacked the clinic, grabbing instruments and files and telephones. His passive mother could do little more than shake her head in bewilderment.
During one physical examination, Dr. Slonecker observed severe cavities in Robert's teeth and knew that the boy must be referred to a local dentist. But who would be given the honor? A referral like Robert could mean the end of a professional friendship. Dr. Slonecker eventually decided to send him to an older dentist who reportedly understood children. The confrontation that followed now stands as one of the classic moments in the history of human conflict.
Robert arrived in the dental office, prepared for battle. "Get in the chair! Young man," said the doctor. "No chance!" Replied the boy.
"Son, I told you to climb onto the chair, and that's what I intend for you to do," said the dentist.
Robert stared at his opponent for a moment and then replied, "If you make me get in that chair, I will take off all my clothes."
The dentist calmly said, "Son, take 'em off." The boy forthwith removed his shirt, undershirt, shoes and socks, and then looked up in defiance.
"All right, son," said the dentist. "Now get on the chair."
"You didn't hear me," sputtered Robert. "I said if you make me get on that chair, I will take off all my clothes."
"Son, take 'em off," replied the man. Robert proceeded to remove his pants and shorts, finally standing totally naked before the dentist and his assistant.
"Now, son, get in the chair," said the doctor. Robert did as he was told, and sat cooperatively through the entire procedure. When the cavities were drilled and filled, he was instructed to step down from the chair.
"Give me my clothes now," said the boy.
"I'm sorry", replied the dentist. "Tell your mother that we're going to keep your clothes tonight. She can pick them up tomorrow."
Can you comprehend the shock Robert's mother received when the door to the waiting room opened, and there stood her pink son, as naked as the day he was born? The room was filled with patients, but Robert and his mom walked past them and into the hall. They went down a public elevator and into the parking lot, ignoring the snickers of onlookers.
The next day, Robert's mother returned to retrieve his clothes, and asked to have a word with the dentist. However, she did not come to protest. These were her sentiments: "You don't know how much I appreciate what happened here yesterday. You see, Robert has been blackmailing me about his clothes for years. Whenever we are in a public place, such as a grocery store, he makes unreasonable demands of me. If I don't immediately buy him what he wants, he threatens to take off all his clothes. You are the first person who has called his bluff, doctor, and the impact on Robert has been incredible!"
ƒ{ Discipline comes in different forms at different ages
o Pat on the butt >>> for a swat
ƒ{ Always follow reproof with reaffirming
o Why they were punished
o And, tell them you love them
3. TIME AND PLACE
* Is it possible that we've all gotten a little over-committed?
* So involved in our work...hobbies...activities
* How easy it is to let time manage you
* Instead of you managing time
* How easy it is to get squeezed into a system that began with the industrial revolution
* It brought families from the quiet farm to the busy city
* Dads have become shadows in the dark
* Leaving home before dawn and returning after bed time
* Instead of challenging parents to give of themselves
* This system encourages them to give the stuff their increased salaries can buy
* The family loses
* The adversary wins a victory that:
„X No church
„X No school
„X No occupation
„X No coach
„X No therapy group
„X No hobby
o Can fully overcome!
* I believe that if you give them time when they are young,
* You won't have to beg for time when they are older
* And don't steal from God's time, for your family time
4. VISION AND PLANNING
ƒ{ This give them roots and wings
ƒ{ Live on purpose
ƒ{ Too many people live life completely by accident
ƒ{ Whatever will be, will be
ƒ{ I call it: life by default
ƒ{ Some are looking for the breaks in life
ƒ{ I believe we make the breaks
ƒ{ If you don't have the vision and plans for your children.
o ...someone else will
ƒ{ If you don't fill the calendar...
o ...someone else will
ƒ{ Sometime after the death of Walt Disney, Walt's son was conducting a tour of Disney World
ƒ{ Someone in the group commented how sat it was the Walt never saw Disney World completed
ƒ{ Walt's son responded, "He did see it when it was complete, that's why it's here."
ƒ{ If you don't see your children through to the end...
o ...someone else will
ƒ{ Many parent's plans are pieced together like poor old Frankenstein
ƒ{ The only things missing are the bolts in the neck
ƒ{ Why I was building a house
ƒ{ I taught them about money
ƒ{ Teach them what to look for in a spouse
ƒ{ Give them goals...
o So they can learn the joy of reaching them.
5. TOUCH AND AFFECTION
* A few years ago, AT&T created a slogan that proved extremely successful...
"Reach out and touch someone"
* This is so successful because there is magic in the human touch
* Everyone wants to be touched
* I am not talking about physically
* Let me give you a few with your children:
o Put a surprise somewhere...give them directions to find it
o Repeat their exact words after they speak
o Put a worm in their bed
o Put a note in their lunch box
o Ask their opinion
o Cook their favorite meal (restaurant)
o Post-It-Note on toothbrush
o Let them do something you usually don't let them do...
o Play in the mud
o Imitate them
o Put out totally mis-matched clothes for them
o Read a story
o Put rocks in their shoes -- pretend you don't know anything about it
o Put a welcome home banner on the house after school
o Make up a song...use their names..."Jenessa Finnigan"
o Give them an autographed picture of you
o Unplug the TV and be the entertainment
o Eat cookies before dinner
o Put messages on the trees along the path to school
o Drop everything you are doing and listen
TOUCHABLES
PICK AND POKE
PINCH AND HUG
KISS AND TICKLE
WRESTLE AND TUSSLE
* Teach your guy how to treat a girl
* And your daughter how be treated by a guy
6. SUCCESS AND FAILURE
ƒ{ Set your children up for success
ƒ{ Success breeds success
ƒ{ Teach them:
1. Set Discipline
2. How to be on-time
3. Return phone calls
4. Tackle problems
5. How to set goals
„X Lego pirate ship
„X Jenessa beauty pageant
Measure by where they can reach...not stand
6. Save money
7. Give them experiences
8. Teach them about nay-sayers
„X Disregard people who say negative things
9. Get them in the game
ƒ{ Allowances for goals not garbage
1. Read books
2. Save money
3. Improve grades
4. Church programs:
„X Bible quiz -- awards
„X Rangers/Missionettes -- awards
„X Holy Hands -- awards
ƒ{ Jake preaching with me on Father's Day
7. UNDERSTANDING
* Let them explain why
* Put yourself in their world and shoes
* If a monkey could type...you wouldn't be able to read what he wrote
* His little monkey brain operates differently than the human brain
* I am not calling your kids monkeys -- they think different than we do
* The boy who got a spanking for going around the corner
8. ALTAR
ƒ{ The number one reason that Christian children backslide is that they don't see the same Mom and Dad at home as they do at church
ƒ{ The family altar is a place where every member can pour out honest feelings
ƒ{ Cares
ƒ{ Shortcomings
ƒ{ One time Jenessa prayed that God would help her Daddy not to be grumpy anymore!
9. HAVE FUN
* Mom and Dad >>>>> lighten up!
* Some homes give kids no alternative but to rebel and run away
* Give alternatives
* They go searching for something they should find at home
* Children suffocate and shrivel
* Fathers >>>> bend!
* You are the chairman of the board for 8 hours a day
* Stop being the chairman of the board at home
* Stop making your home all business >>> learn to romp (66)
* Walk in the mud with no shoes
* Go fly a kite
* Hide in the bushes
* Ambush your children with socks
* Challenge them to a foot race
* Honk and wave at perfect strangers
10. PRINCIPLES BEHIND THE PRECEPTS
Deuteronomy 4:9
9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.
Deuteronomy 6:7-9
7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Deuteronomy 6:12
12 be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
Judges 2:6-11
6 After Joshua had dismissed the Israelites, they went to take possession of the land, each to his own inheritance.
7 The people served the LORD throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived him and who had seen all the great things the LORD had done for Israel.
8 Joshua son of Nun, the servant of the LORD, died at the age of a hundred and ten. 9 And they buried him in the land of his inheritance, at Timnath Heres in the hill country of Ephraim, north of Mount Gaash.
10 After that whole generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation grew up, who knew neither the LORD nor what he had done for Israel. 11 Then the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the LORD and served the Baals.
ƒ{ We have a generation who knows the religious rules (precepts)
ƒ{ They don't understand the principle
o They want to see
o They have been let down
ƒ{ We teach principles by our action
o Because I said so
o We teach what we know, we reproduce who we are
ƒ{ 4% of those born between 1977 & 1994 will be reached with the Gospel
ƒ{ Don't say a relationship with God is important, show that it is!
ƒ{ Only 6% serve God if parents don't attend church.
Some People are Like Potatoes
Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to watch while other do the work...
They are called -- "Speck Taters"
Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work.
They are called -- "Comment Tators"
Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking others to agree with them. It is too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet.
They are called -- "Agie Tators"
There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never get around to actually doing the promised help.
They are called -- "Hezzie Tators"
Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they are not.
They are called "Emma Tators"
Then there are those who love and do what they say they will. They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping hand.
They bring real sunshine into the lives of others
11. MARITAL HARMONY
* Tell your kids you love their mom.
* Never let your kids treat your wife with disrespect.
EXAMPLE: What I like best about my home.
RIGHT ANSWER: How sorry I am for forgetting about your feelings and how lucky I am to have a woman like you.
TRUE ANSWER: Baseball, football, fishing, hunting!!!
What's on the next channel?
CONCLUSION
12. THE BEST THING YOU CAN GIVE YOUR CHILDREN IS JESUS
