ACHIEVING VICTORY OVER LONLINESS: PART TWO
JOHN 16:17-34
THEME: LONLINESS IS A PART OF OUR LIVES, BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO RULE OUR LIVES. WE CAN HAVE VICTORY OVER IT, EVENTUALLY THRUOGH CHRIST.
INTRODUCTION:
LAST WEEK I INTRODUCED YOU TO FOUR MAJOR AREAS OF OUR LIVES WHERE WE ARE PRONE TO FIND LONLINESS.
WE FOUND OUT THAT LONLINESS WAS A GIFT FROM GOD IN THAT IT IS AN EMOTION THAT IS USED TO BRING US TOGETHER, AND WAS CREATED BEFORE THE FALL, AND GOD SAID THAT ALL THINGS CREATED BEFORE THE FALL WERE VERY GOOD, SO LONLINESS MUST BE A GIFT FROM GOD.
WE ALSO REALIZED THAT IT WAS A GIFT THAT COULD BE AND IS MANIPULATED BY SATAN TO FORM A SPIRITUAL PRISON AROUND US, AND ROB US OF MANY BLESSINGS GOD HAS IN STORE FOR US THROUGH OTHERS.
WE LOOKED AT THE AREA OF LONLINESS DUE TO OUR CIRCUMSTANCES AND SOME WAYS THAT WE MIGHT DEAL WITH THIS ELEMENT, THE KEY PASSAGE BEING 1 TIMOTHY 6:3-10.
If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, 4 he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions 5 and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain. 6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8 But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9 People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
THE PASSAGE TELLS US THE FOLLOWING:
TO GAIN VICTORY OVER LONLINESS WE MUST:
1. MAINTAIN A PROPER WALK WITH THE LORD.
2. GODLINESS WITH CONTENTMENT IN THE THINGS THAT WE HAVE, IS OF GREAT GAIN.
3. THAT THE LOVE OF MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL KINDS OF EVIL, AND WE HAVE TO JUDGE WHETHER OR NOT THE PROFIT IS WORTH THE COST?
4. WE SAID THAT AS PEOPLE LEAVE HOMES TO GO TO SCHOOL OR FOR EMPLOYMENT THAT GOD GIVES US THE CHANCE TO HAVE A NEW AVENUE OF RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM, THAT WILL LEAD US TO GREAT ANTICIPATION OF SEEING THEM AGAIN, NOT THE LONLINESS OF NOT HAVING THEM THERE.
5. THAT IN THE CASES WHERE SICKNESS AND CONDITIONS SUCH AS ALSHEIMER’S INVADE OUR FAMILIES. THAT A PROPER UNDERSTANDING ON HEAVEN, CAN BE A GREAT HELP.
TODAY WE ARE GOING TO LOOK AT THE OTHER THREE AREAS:
1. LONLINESS AS A RESULT OF POSITION.
2. LONLINESS THROUGH BREAK-UPS.
3. LONLINESS AS A RESULT OF DEATH.
I THINK WE WILL FIND THAT THERE ARE SOME COMMON PRINCIPLES FROM OUR TEXT THAT WILL APPLY TO ALL OF THESE SITUATIONS.
POINT ONE: LONLINESS AS A RESULT OF POSITION:
ONE MAY THINK THAT THIS APPLIES PRIMARILY TO PROFESSIONALS, AND IT CERTAINLY CAN DO THAT, BUT LONLINESS AS A RESULT OF OUR POSITION CAN INVADE OUR PERSONAL LIVES AS WELL. CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING POSSIBILITIES:
A) LONLINESS THAT ARISES FROM OUR PROFESSIONAL POSITION: POLICEMAN
FIREMAN
MINISTER
WE ARE TAUGHT THAT THERE IS A NEED TO DEVELOP A PROFESSIONAL DISTANCE BETWEEN US AND EVERYONE ELSE SO THAT WHEN DIFFICULT SITUATIONS ARISE, WE WILL BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH THEM BETTER AS LEADERS.
CONSIDER PAUL’S TEACHING IN ROMANS 12:
ROMANS 12:1-2; 9-18
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
IT WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER FOR US NOT TO PUT THIS IN PRACTICE. KEEP EVERYONE AT ARMS LENGTH, NOT GET EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO PEOPLE, AND STAY IN OUR OWN WORLD.
BUT DID JESUS DO THAT? THE ACCOUNT OF JESUS WITH MARY AND MARTHA AT LAZARUS’ TOMB, AND THE LAST SUPPER, SHOWS HOW HE INTERACTED WITH PEOPLE.
LISTEN TO THIS PASSAGE:
JOHN 14:1-4:
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 2 In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.”
I CAN JUST GET A MIND PICTURE OF HOW JESUS WOULD SAY THIS. WALKING IN THE MIDST OF HIS DISCIPLES, WITH A CALM LOW VOICE, A PAT ON THE SHOULDER, PERHAPS AN EMOTIONAL HUG, BUT MOST IMPORTANT WOULD BE AN AIRE OF REASSURANCE “I WILL COME BACK FOR YOU.”
IS THERE A LONLINESS OF POSITION, THERE CERTAINLY IS. FOR ME IT’S USUALLY SATURDAY NIGHT. ONE OF THE THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO RETIREMENT FOR IS THE RELEASE TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP SATURDAY NIGHT. AS IT IS NOW THIS COMES FEW AND FAR BETWEEN.
B) EVEN MORE DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH IS THE LONLINESS THAT COMES FROM THE POSITION OF BEING A PARENT.
IT WOULD BE NICE IF ALL FAMILIES WERE LIKE THE FAMILY ON “LEAVE IT TO BEAVER”. BUT LIFE IS NOT LIKE THAT.
PARENTS DEAL WITH LONLINESS AS THEY SEE THEIR CHILDREN MAKE DECISIONS. WE HOPE THEY WILL MAKE GOOD ONES, BUT THIS IS NOT ALWAYS THE CASE. THE LONLINESS OF POSITION HAPPENS AS PARENTS:
1. DEAL WITH REBELING CHILDREN
2. SEE THEIR CHILDREN WALK AWAY FROM THE VALUES THEY ARE TRYING TO TEACH, SUCH AS CHURCH.
3. THE PRACTICE OF HARD LOVE. HONORING THE CHILD’S DECISION TO GO DOWN A WRONG PATH, BY BANISHING THEM FROM THE HOME. THEY HOPE TO PROTECT THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY, YET AT THE SAME TIME, ALLOW THE BANISHED ONE TO SEE THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS AND SEEK THEIR HELP.
4. THE LONLINESS OF MAKING A LIFE-ALTERING DECISION, SUCH AS ENDING LIFE SUPPORT FOR A FAMILY MEMBER.
ONE MAY THINK THAT THE STRAIN OF THESE DECISIONS WILL LESSEN OVER TIME. THEY MAY, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS VISIT, ALONG WITH FEELINGS OF GUILT, AND SELF-DOUBT.
I BELIEVE THERE IS A WAY TO HAVE VICTORY OVER THIS, AND I WILL TELL YOU THIS SHORTLY.
POINT TWO: LONLINESS AS A RESULT OF BREAK-UP
LONLINESS AS A RESULT OF A BREAKUP CAN HAPPEN AT ANY AGE AND FOR MANY DIFFERENT SITUATIONS:
1. FAMILIES THAT HAVE TO MOVE AWAY.
2. AN ARGUMENT
IN THE CASE OF MARRIAGES:
1. ADULTERY
2. SICKNESS
3. I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE
THE LONLINESS THAT CAN ARISE FROM THESE SITUATIONS MAY LEAVE US FEARFUL OF ENTERING INTO ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP AGAIN.
WE DON’T WANT TO LEAVE OURSELVES VULNERABLE TO THE PAIN OF BEING HURT.
ONE CLOSE FRIEND ONCE TOLD ME THAT HER DIVORCE HURT FAR MORE THAN IF HER HUSBAND HAD DIED. SHE SAID IF HER HUSBAND HAD DIED SHE WOULD KNOW THAT HE LIVED HIS LIFE LOVING HER. SHE COULD VISIT HIS GRAVE AND THINK OF THE GOOD TIMES THEY SHARED. SHE COULD MOVE ON.
NOW, EVERY TIME SHE SEES HIM, IT’S A CONSTANT REMINDER THAT SHE WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. THAT HE TRADED HER IN FOR A NEW MODEL. IT WAS AS IF SHE HAD DONE SOMETHING WRONG, AND SHE WAS PUNISHED FOR IT BY HIS ENDING THE MARRIAGE. IT WAS ALL HER FAULT.
THIS TOO CAN BE DEALT WITH, AS WE SHALL SOON SEE.
POINT THREE: LONLINESS AS A RESULT OF DEATH
AS I CONTINUE IN MINISTRY I AM BECOMING MORE AND MORE AWARE OF THIS FORM OF LONLINESS.
IT IS A PART OF THE GRIEF PROCESS, BUT IT DOESN’T HAPPEN RIGHT AT THE TIME OF DEATH. USUALLY WE WILL SEE THIS HAPPEN A FEW MONTHS LATER.
WHEN IT COES TO DEATH WE MUST UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS NO GOOD TIME FOR DEATH TO VISIT. IT MAY BE EASIER TO ACCEPT IN SOME SITUATIONS, BUT THERE IS NEVER A GOOD TIME.
1. FOR THE INFANT WE MOURN THE LIFE THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN.
2. FOR THE YOUNG PERSON WE MOURN THE LOSS OF POTENTIAL.
3. FOR THE OLDER PERSON WE SEE A LIFE OF CLOSENESS LIVED TOGETHER, THEN RIPPED APART SAVAGELY BY THE GRIM REAPER.
THERE IS NO GOOD TIME FOR DEATH TO INVADE, AND IT LEAVES IT’S MARKS ON EVERYONE. CHILDREN MOURN AS WELL AS ADULTS AS WE SHALL SEE.
POINT FOUR: HOW DO WE GAIN VICTORY OVER LONLINESS:
I BELIEVE THE FOLLOWING SUGGESTIONS WILL HELP US TO GAIN VICTORY OVER ALL THESE FORMS OF LONLINESS:
1. JOHN 16:17-18: MAINTAIN A PROPER RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD. THE DISCIPLES DIDN’T KNOW WHAT JESUS WAS REFERRING TO, BUT THEY HAD A RELATIONSHIP THAT ALLOWED THE POSSIBILITY OF QUESTIONS. YOU AND I WILL NOT KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS, BUT A PROPER RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD WILL MAKE HIS PEACE AVAILABLE TO US:
JOHN 14:27: Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
PROVERBS 18:24: A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
2. JOHN 16:20: THERE WILL BE TIMES WHEN WE WILL VISIT THE HOUSE OF LONLINESS, OR TO PUT IT IN PROPER PERSPECTIVE, IT WILL VISIT US. TO VISIT LONLINESS IS NOT WRONG. IT’S THE DESIRE TO HAVE A SPECIAL TIME WITH A LOVED ONE AGAIN.
WHILE IT IS NOT WRONG TO VISIT, SATAN WANTS US TO LIVE THERE. AS THE SCRIPTURE STATES HE WANTS TO DESTROY US, AND WILL USE LONLINESS AS A VESSEL TO DO THIS.
WE WILL GRIEVE AND WE WILL MOURN, BUT WE DO NOT HAVE TO DO SO AS PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO HOPE.
ROMANS 8:35-39:
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
3. AS WITH MOURNING BE CAREFUL WITH CLICHES AND QUICK ANSWERS. SOMETIMES THEY JUST WANT TO TALK AND IN TALKING WILL FIND THEIR OWN RELIEF.
4. ALLOW THEM TO FEEL WHAT THEY FEEL. ANGER HAS A PLACE. MARY WAS ANGRY WITH JESUS AT THE DEATH OF LAZARUS. GUILT WILL OFTEN RISE IT’S HEAD. ALLOW IT TO BE EXPRESSED AND THEN DEAL WITH IT.
JOHN 8:32: Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
5. REMEMBER THE GOD GIVEN REASON FOR LONLINESS WAS TO DRAW US TOGETHER. THEREFORE IN ALL CASES, FIND A LOCAL CHURCH ASSEMBLY TO GET INVOLVED IN. SOMETIMES AS WE HELP OTHERS WE GAIN THE VICTORY OVER OUR OWN LONELY LIFE. GOD WILL GIVE US THE VICTORY OVER LONLINESS, BUT THAT VICTORY WILL OFTEN INVOLVE US LEAVING THE SURROUNDINGS THAT CAUSE THE LONLINESS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
6. REMEMBER THE LAST WORDS OF V. 24: THAT YOUR JOY MAY BE COMPLETE. LONLINESS IS A BATTLE OF THIS WORLD BUT OUR JOY WILL BE MADE COMPLETE IN HIM:
PSALM 30:5: For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
CONCLUSION:
THE PERSON WHO DOES NOT FACE LONLINESS IS THE PERSON WHO HAS NEVER LOVED, NEVER ENJOYED THE COMPANY OF SOMEONE ELSE, NEVER REALIZED THE PAIN OF LOSS CAN BE TRANSFORMED BY THE POWER OF LOVE.
YOU COULD BE SUCH A PERSON TODAY, AND NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LONLINESS AGAIN.
MY QUESTION TO YOU WOULD BE, DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE THAT PERSON?
IF SO, I CAN ONLY FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.
AS FOR THE REST OF US, WE’VE GOT TOO MUCH TO GAIN TO LOSE.
