Two weeks ago we started a new series called Growth Through Groups and we began to take a look at three different areas that we will grow through groups- community, depth, and accountability. We looked at community, and how we need to do life together with other like minded people. People with the same desires as us, because when it comes down to it, community is a group of people with a common unity. There’s something that brings us together—like our love for God, or a desire to make people happy, or a desire to be the best versions of ourselves. We talked about how community is vital to the life of someone who wants to grow. And then we talked about depth, and being mature—essentially knowing what you believe and why you believe it. Cathy, one of our volunteers said something about my talk on depth that made me laugh—she said, “I hope I’m a tree stuck in an iceberg!” I hope I am too—the kind of person that grows deep and wide in what I believe and why I believe it. You need to be the kind of person that craves solid food, and not like the little baby drinking milk.
Tonight, we’re wrapping up this series on growth through groups by talking about one more thing we hope to grow through groups – accountability. This is one of those big, uncomfortable words that makes many of us cringe when we hear it. The truth is that most of us don’t like accountability—it means you have to be responsible for your actions. You have to do what you say you’re going to do. You have to keep your word. There aren’t really any rules to accountability, but it’s a concept; and in the Christian context, there are some assumed rules-more less, guidelines. But we’ll get to that later.
The question is why would anyone want to grow accountability? It really goes back to our goals and resolutions—we say we’re going to do something or be somebody, then we need help sticking to it. We need someone to keep us accountable if we’re going to achieve those goals. When we choose to give our lives to Christ, and become Christian, then we’ve basically decided that we are no longer going to live for ourselves, but we are going to live surrendered lives to God. Living the Christian life is tough, which is why the concept of accountability comes into play. We want to grow depth, and we need accountability to help us achieve that depth. (My Own Accountability for Goals)
There are two types of accountability. Being accountable to God - Romans 14:9-13 says, “ 9For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. 10You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. 11It is written:
" 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord,
'every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.' "[a] 12So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. 13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. “
Paul is telling us that one day we will have to give an account of the things we’ve done to God at the judgment seat of Christ. You’ll stand before God and have to take responsibility for what you did while you were on the earth. The motivation is to live a faithful and righteous life before God because he’s always watching—though, our motivation should not be out of fear—like fear of getting caught. But that you will have to ‘fess up to the things you’ve done. So, that’s our personal accountability—that we are to be responsible for our actions in front of a Holy God.
The Scriptures also tell us that we are to be accountable to each other. 1 Corinthians 12 tells us that we are all members of one body with many parts. Some of us are the eye, others are the hand or the foot, and that all of us should work together to accomplish each goal. 1 Cor. 12:24-26, “But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”
So, he goes on to say that we should have equal concern for each other. If the hand stops doing what it’s supposed to, then the eye should notice it, and the other hand should help it out. In Paul’s letter to the Galatians, he tells them in Ch. 6:1-5, “ 1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load.“
If any one of your fellow brothers or sisters should get caught up in sin, then it’s your responsibility to help restore them to their faith. Being accountable to someone else is a preventative method of making sure you aren’t falling away from your faith. But he says that the stronger brother should be careful so that he doesn’t also fall into the same sin. Like if you have a problem with gossip, be careful asking your friend about that sin so that you don’t fall into it as well.
Accountability is an issue of Integrity. Integrity is when who are in the dark matches who you are in the light. Your character is who you are in the dark. Integrity is being the same person in public as you are in private. The benefit of accountability is that you get help in bringing the darkness to the light. When you have something that you struggle with in secret, in private, then you are in a losing battle, and Satan has you right where he wants you. Satan rules in the darkness, and God’s healing power works best when we bring our secret sins into the light. Psalm 32:3-4 (NASB) says, “ 3When (A)I kept silent about my sin, (B)my body wasted away Through my (C)groaning all day long. 4For day and night (D)Your hand was heavy upon me; My (E)vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. Selah.” Bringing your junk into the light requires accountability, and great accountability requires trust.
That’s why I want to share with you some guidelines for accountability, and accountability in groups.
I. Don’t judge.
Matthew 7:1-5, 1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.”
Illustration (speck of dust – pool cue in own eye)
When we are more concerned about where other people are messing up, then we become judgmental. Jesus warns us about being judgmental and that the measure we use in judging others is the measure that will be used upon us. In essence, he’s not saying not to judge—for there is a time and place for that—what He is saying is that our attitude should not be filled with criticism and looking for faults. Instead of constantly seeing the dirt in people’s lives, we should be looking for the gold. But before we can even think about helping our friends, we’ve got to do a little self examination and soul searching of our own so that we notice our own logs. We do our group no good if we aren’t recognizes our own areas of struggle.
II. Keep confidence.
It’s important that what is shared with you is kept in the stictest of confidence—otherwise you break trust. There are reasons that you should always break trust—like if someone is planning to hurt someone else or themselves, you must tell. If a person indicates that a crime is being committed, then you’ve got to tell—otherwise you become an accomplice to the crime. You should never break confidence for any old reason. I had an accountability partner in College who also had a problem with gossip. I told him something in confidence about a relationship that I had with a girl in our church. I was having problems staying faithful to her, and he let the word get out, and soon enough, my girlfriend and my youth pastor found out—NOT GOOD! Instead of this guy trying to help me subtly with my problem, he made everyone aware of it. I was forced to deal with it, but not the way I was hoping to. Needless to say, that accountability relationship was over because trust was broken.
III. Encourage
1 Thessalonians 5:11,
We are to be people who are constantly encouraging one another in our faith. We should speak words that build each other up and not tear them down. Like if your friend is struggling with the same sin and he keeps telling you week after week that he messes up in that area, you probably shouldn’t say, “Man, you suck at this being a Christian thing! Why can’t you get your act together?! You’re just a sorry excuse for a human being.” No, that most likely won’t help much. You might try saying something like, “Man, I’m praying for you. Help me understand why you keep doing this? What’s going on in your life that leads you to this sin? How can I help you battle the temptation?”
Which one would you rather hear?
When we try to grow in accountability, we need to remember to that we are to be accountable to God, and accountable to each other, and that when we’re accountable to each other, we shouldn’t judge, and we should keep confidence and always encourage. Now, let’s break up into our small groups and talk about this thing called accountability.
Small Group Breakouts
JV Boys with Paul
JV Girls with Jeanne, Cathy, and Maureen in the Lounge.
9-10 with Titus, Jolene, and Deb behind the curtain.
11th Boys with John by B-ball hoop
11th Girls with Sally by stage.
12th with Me and Jenni in Gregg’s Office.
Bring it back together at 8:30 p.m.
Small Group:
Make sure everyone knows each other—have them introduce themselves, with their name, and something interesting about themselves.
Have you ever had an accoutability relationship? If so, what was it like?
What scares you about being in an accountability relationship?
What is exciting about being in an accountability relationship?
What types of things would you want to be held accountable for?
What are some questions you wouldn’t mind answering in an accountability relationship?
When have you looked for specks when you should have been noticing logs?
Here’s a sample accountability question – how has your time with God been lately?
Closing: (depending on time, have some students share their thoughts on accountability)
