A Portrait of Love
Love Without Limits, prt. 6
Wildwind Community Church
David Flowers
February 6, 2010
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails...
1 John 4:8 (NIV)
8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)
4 God is patient, God is kind. He does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud.
5 He is not rude, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs.
6 God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 God never fails...
Today we bring to a close our series on the love of God. What I have tried to do over the last few weeks is put these cookies on a lower shelf – one all of us can reach. In doing this I am not in any way lowering or demeaning God, for God – in Christ – lowered HIMSELF. The whole purpose of His coming was so that we who were so tired of fruitless efforts to reach up to him could finally stop straining, and simply welcome into our midst the one who had reached down to us.
As I speak, great violence is being done to people all across this nation – all over the world. The message of God’s love, of grace, of being steadfastly in the grip of the one we cannot grasp – that message is being substituted in pulpits all over the world for a message of striving and effort. God’s complete sufficiency is being snuffed out in favor of focus on our insufficiency. Millions of people who are lonely, frustrated, discouraged, angry, confused, heartbroken, convinced that they are worthless, people who are isolated from love, who do not know grace, who have not experienced mercy, and who come into our churches seeking it, hoping to see it modeled in a word, a gesture, and maybe a sermon, will walk away more convinced than ever of the greatest heresy the church has ever propagated, which is the idea that there is space between us and God – that we cannot get to him – that he is unavailable to us – that we must say the magic words, fill out the response card, show up in church, come to the altar, or otherwise rub the lamp to get him to show up.
So let me be clear now to whom I am speaking. I am speaking to you, those in the pews this morning. Many of you barely made it here today. Some of you are glad you did, others of you are still not sure. I am speaking to you, people from this congregation who are not with us this morning but are listening to our podcast. I am speaking to you who have never been to this church. Some of you are thinking about coming. Others of you will never come. I am speaking to some perhaps in this congregation, perhaps listening on a CD or podcast, who went home with someone last night they shouldn’t have gone home with. I’m speaking to those who are struggling with their sexual orientation and think that because you are attracted to the same sex God cannot or does not love you. I’m speaking to those who are struggling in their marriages – who have thought about leaving, or perhaps already have. I’m speaking to people who feel too dirty to be in church this morning. I’m speaking to those who can’t seem to stop drinking, or talking, or masturbating, or lying, or gambling, or covering up what a mess they’ve made of their lives. I am speaking to those who maybe stumbled across a link to this sermon on the Internet and are sitting and listening right now, perhaps unsure of why they’re even listening. I am speaking to people who overspend, overeat, overwork, oversleep, overthink, overmedicate, and otherwise over-indulge, and to those who overlook the blessings that are all around them. I am speaking to church-goers who are pretty sure they have never experienced God and feel guilty for it, and to the non-church-goer who has experienced God but feels totally invalidated by the church because that experience has not come in the right container, and has not been dispensed by those with the right degrees and the right backgrounds. I’m speaking to religious people who judge irreligious people, to irreligious people who judge religious people, and to people of one religion who think God can’t move, can’t speak, and can’t save anybody in another religion. I’m speaking to followers who wish they were leaders, to burned-out leaders who wish they were followers, and to those who are determined never to follow anybody. I’m speaking to the sexually immoral, the ones who flirt too much, the ones who ignore wisdom, the ones who despise wise counsel. I’m speaking to Republicans and Democrats – liberals and conservatives – rich and poor – givers and takers – popular and anonymous. I’m speaking to those who look up to me, and those who look down on me, those who think I’m okay and those who wish I’d go away. I’m speaking to those hungering and thirsting after God and spiritual things, and those who never give that stuff any thought at all and all those in between. I’m speaking to those who haven’t attended church since Christmas and won’t attend again until Easter. I’m speaking to those who know their need and are willing to seek help, and to those who may or may not know their need but either way, they’re not getting ANY help from anybody. I’m speaking to those caught in dead-end jobs, lifeless marriages, power struggles at work and with your kids, people struggling with fear, anxiety, worry, insecurity, jealousy, hostility, discouragement, depression, despair, aimlessness, boredom, guilt, regret, greed, hatred, pettiness, loneliness, lust, envy, and grief. I’m speaking to religious losers who think they are winners, and to irreligious winners who think they are losers. I’m speaking to those who think life would be better if they could just have it together like so and so.
I could keep going, probably forever, you know why? Because all I’m doing is throwing open doors, and because God’s love knows no limit and his grace knows no measure, so there aren’t enough doors in all the world to squeeze through all the people He loves. And you are in there. If I didn’t specifically say something that you identified with, don’t worry about it. I’m sure I failed to mention far more than I mentioned, but I hope I communicated, nonetheless, that this means you – that no matter how beat down, burned out, and bedraggled you may feel yourself to be – no matter how far away from love and grace – no matter how far removed from anything like kindness, or gentleness, or understanding – the reality is in fact just the opposite. You are, in fact, right in the center of love you cannot imagine and if you do not know that, it’s BECAUSE it cannot be imagined. There is nothing like it in this world – nothing to compare it with or to or against. Nothing to explain how high and deep and wide and long it is. No metaphors that extend far enough, no language that is insightful enough. And best of all, it is not a failure of that love that it cannot be explained, it is precisely because it is endless and eternal that there are no adequate words to capture what it is. But we can try!
This love is first of all patient and kind. When you have given up on yourself, God does not give up on you. When you have gotten on your last nerve, or someone else has, God is just getting started. When you are hard on yourself, critical of yourself, ready to pronounce upon yourself the verdict of inept, irredeemable loser, God assures you of his love for you and acceptance of you. Not once you are feeling better. Not once the storm has passed. But right there in the middle of your darkness. That is why we must focus on the present moment – because it is right now that God extends to you his love and his grace. If you are not living in the present moment, then the season of God’s favor will always seem like it’s right around the corner, as soon as you pull your act together, go to church more, learn to trust him better, get that next difficult question ironed out.
2 Corinthians 6:2 (NIV)
2 ...I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation.
God is patient and kind with you when you are impatient and harsh with yourself. Is that you? Are you impatient with yourself? Are you hard on yourself about your shortcomings and difficulties? God isn’t. Are you unkind to yourself? Do you berate yourself, criticize yourself, talk down about yourself to yourself and others? That impatient and unkind way you think of yourself, God doesn’t think of you that way at all.
Hebrews 4:15-16 (MSG)
15 We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin.
16 So let's walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.
Jesus isn’t the one coming down on you, demanding you pull it together and be perfect. He’s the one laying a hand on your hunched-over back, saying, “I know – I’ve been there. And I’m right here.”
This love does not envy or boast. To envy and boast is to look at what we have and desire more, or brag about having more than someone else. God doesn’t do this. God doesn’t say, “Billy Graham does things right, how come you don’t?” “Boy, I have the perfect servant in John Ortberg, or Mother Teresa, or Dallas Willard – what’s the matter with you? Poor me, if only you could be as faithful as everybody else I could be happy.” This isn’t God at all! This is how WE act. This is how WE are, therefore we automatically assume that this is how God is. In Exodus, the people of God fashioned for themselves a golden calf out of melted gold, and worshipped it, and we have been casting God in our own images ever since. But this is not God. God is okay with you just as you are. And when you are in that love, you will not envy or boast either. You won’t live in this place of, “I wish I could be like him or her,” or “Thank God I’m so much better, or holier, than so and so.” You will see people as people – neither no more nor no less deserving of love than you are. We get our views of God really twisted up and sometimes think that our envy of other people is spiritual. We think, “I wish I could be as faithful as Mother Theresa,” and we think that’s a good thing because it shows our desire for holiness. But that’s not living in the moment. You are NOT Mother Theresa or Billy Graham. You do not have their faith, and you probably do not have all of their weaknesses either. They have their own faith, their own challenges, their own connection to God. How would you feel if you found out that your youngest child was consumed with desire to be exactly like your oldest child? That would actually hurt you! Christy and I as parents are careful to make sure that each of our girls knows it’s her uniqueness that makes us love her, that she is special exactly the way she is, and that there is no need to feel insufficient or inadequate. And because each person’s uniqueness makes them special, it therefore does not make sense to exalt one’s self over others. People are different, but all equally valued and loved by God – and therefore because of that all equally valuable and lovable. God does not desire for you that you would have someone else’s strengths, nor does he exalt you over others, or others over you. When we get up close to God, we get to abandon those games we play with each other. When our girls were small one of them would come running into our room and jump into bed with us in the morning. Pretty soon the other two would run in and sometimes one of them would express concern that there wasn’t enough space. Of course we’d have none of that. Of course there is space. Of course there’s a place for you. Of course there is a seat for you at the table. Of course you are welcome. Now that our girls are bigger, it’s not our bed anymore, it’s our living room. One may have to sit on another one’s lap for family prayers in the evening, or one may have to get on the floor, but of course we’ll all get in here. Of course there’s a place for each of us. Of course no one need worry about being left out. And if we know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more will our heavenly Father give good things to us?
Luke 11:11-13 (MSG)
11 If your little boy asks for a serving of fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate?
12 If your little girl asks for an egg, do you trick her with a spider?
13 As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing—you're at least decent to your own children. And don't you think the Father who conceived you in love will give the Holy Spirit when you ask him?"
God and His love are not proud. This means arrogant and stuck up and inaccessible. Pride is defined as “overrating one’s excellencies, and thus arrogant or haughty.” Of course a God who is infinitely kind and good cannot overrate his kindness and goodness and his other excellencies. We sing, “I could sing of your love forever,” because God’s love is infinite. No matter how long we sing about it, we can’t express it, capture it, or run out of things to say about it.
When someone is arrogant or haughty, you feel lower in their presence. You feel less than they are, or at least like they want you to feel like that. And yet the eternal God, the Lord of Creation, the only one who truly IS above us and higher than us in a real sense, takes on human flesh, stoops to our level, and allows to step on his back and then boosts us up to the throne of God. As John Ortberg says, Ironically, the only person who has ever walked this earth who did not have a Messiah complex, was actually the Messiah! The only one around whom the world actually DOES revolve never demanded that others revolve around him. The only one who has ever literally been “all that,” made himself nothing.
Philippians 2:5-8 (MSG)
5 Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. 6 He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. 7 Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! 8 Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that: a crucifixion.
That is the gracious humility of Jesus.
This love is not rude or self-seeking. It is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. When you do something wrong, you may roll your eyes, but God never does. God is never rude. He never stands over you demanding, “Would you please just get it right, what’s the matter with you?” He never gets ticked and throws up his hands and says, “What’s the use, you’ll never get it right,” or, “I can’t believe you’re still not getting it.” He’s never mean-spirited. He never takes pleasure in your pain or failures. He’s never interested in just getting his own way. If God wanted that he wouldn’t have created creatures with the ability to NOT please him. God is not self-seeking, He is seeking your happiness and peace and fulfillment. The Purpose-Driven Life opens with that sentence, “It’s not about you.” And it’s NOT about you, it’s about God. But ironically, God is about you! God is with you, and for you!
And God is definitely not mad at you. That’s a terrible feeling, isn’t it? I don’t know about you, but when someone is mad at me, I find it hard to be around them. Sometimes I come to church and I know one of you are mad at me about something, and I want to be gracious, but it’s just hard for me to be around people who I know are mad at me, even if I deserve it. It’s embarrassing, and I’m afraid someone’s going to take another shot at me. If you think God is mad at you, you aren’t going to want to be around Him. You’ll be fearful. But God ISN’T mad at you. Hear me, whatever you have done, God is not mad at you. Not only is God not mad at you, but God keeps no record of wrongs. Many of us think exactly the opposite, that God is a heavenly bean counter, handing out demerits every time we mess up. This couldn’t be a more flawed and human view of God than it is. We see God not as He is, but as WE are. We are petty. We are easily angered. We keep careful track of the wrongs of others against us, and therefore we assume God does the same toward us. We keep careful track even of our own wrongs and then assign ourselves demerits. God does not. God is love and love does not do this.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. This makes things simple. Instead of having to worry about whether Islam is a good or bad religion, we can simply read a passage in the Koran that talks about God’s love, or God’s mercy, or God’s faithfulness (all of which the Koran talks about) and we can say, “That is true, and God rejoices with the truth.”
Now rejoicing with truth may be where the love of God gets a bit uncomfortable. A while ago I had made some big mistakes and when I emailed and told my brother about it, he wrote back and said, “Wow –sounds like you really screwed up. I know there are some things I could help you with if you’re interested. Give me a call if you want.” That’s love. When we’ve screwed up, love doesn’t say, “You haven’t screwed up, everything’s fine.” Love says (and thus God says), “You know, you’ve really screwed up. I know there are some things I can help you with if you’re interested.” My brother loves me, and he’s not going to wallow around in falsehood – he’s going to speak the truth to me so I can find it. Then he’s going to help me face it and follow it. That’s love. Some of us live in falsehood and want a God who’s going to wallow around in it with us. That’s not going to happen. That’s not what love does. Love rejoices with the truth.
Love (God) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God does not attack you, He protects you. But because God has given you free will, he cannot protect you from yourself. You can destroy yourself by ignoring love or living outside of it. God will let you do that. Love always trusts. No matter how many times you mess up, God will keep trusting you to try again. He’ll never rush in and do it for you, even though you wish he would sometimes. We often talk about having faith in God, but did you know God has placed tremendous faith in you? God loves you and wants to be with you, and God has allowed you to make that choice, and He trusts you to choose wisely. And along with this trust is a hope. God hopes in you! God sent Jesus to earth to be born, teach, suffer, die, and rise again, and entrusted that the whole thing would be communicated all over the earth by just a handful of disciples. And he did not come up with a Plan B. He is investing everything He has in this thing and there is no other plan. God has placed great trust in you, and has high hopes for you!
And God perseveres with you. He strives with you. He hangs in there, even when you have given up. When you do not trust in yourself and you are running out of hope, God hopes in you and for you. When you think you can’t go on anymore, God stays close and hangs on. God will not give up, will not abandon you.
Psalms 16:9-10 (NIV)
9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure,
10 because you will not abandon me to the grave...
That’s what love does. It protects, hopes, trusts, and perseveres. To say love perseveres is simply to say that all the stuff we’ve been saying love does this morning – it does it, and it keeps doing it. God is the Father, running alongside you holding onto your bike as you bumble along with the training wheels just off. You are swerve-y and curvy and tippy, but God keeps running. You are afraid, but God trusts in you.
Love never fails. God never fails.
Philippians 1:6 (NIV)
6 ...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion...
God does not fail, even though we are often failures. God does not fail to love us, even though we often fail to even acknowledge that He is in the room. To say love never fails is to say it is always faithful, always hopeful, always confident that it will prevail, and therefore never needs to be petty or sour or harsh or crass or rude or angry.
This is what real love is, and real love is God. And right now you are firmly located in the center of this immense love. It’s not about constantly worrying about who’s getting in on this – it’s about realizing that, though you don’t deserve it and could never earn it, you are already in. In the words of Thomas Merton, “a saint is not someone who is good, but who experiences the goodness of God.”
