INTRODUCTION
1. Please open your bible to Proverbs 17:17.
2. I’ve got a question for you! Who is your best friend? Be thinking about you answer and we will explain why we ask the question during the study of this lesson.
2. Let’s read Proverbs 17:17and then over the next few days memorize the words: “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity [or for when I get in trouble].”
(1) I’m going to repeat this two times out loud.
(2) As I repeat this verse, I would like for you to look at your bibles and say the words silently. “………………” “…………………”
3. As we prepare to discuss some things about being a good friend to others, again, I would like for you to think about who your best friend is. Maybe you’ve got a few real good friends. Who are they? Who are those friends? Have you got their names floating around in your mind?
DISCUSSION
I. FIRST, TURN TO JOHN 15:13. JOHN 15:13, LIKE PROVERBS 17:17, TEACHES US THAT FRIENDSHIP IS PROVEN AS WE SACRIFICE AND DO FOR THOSE THAT WE CALL OUR FRIENDS.
1. Let’s read John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”
(1) Here, Jesus is talking about Himself laying down His life, dying on the cross for boys and girls and men and women, so that they could have opportunity to have their sins forgiven.
(2) Jesus teaches that such a sacrifice proves that he is a friend to us.
2. Again, I ask you the question. Who are your friends? Have you made any sacrifices to show that you are there friend?
3. Let’s use an illustration that will help us to better understand and appreciate what Jesus has done for us. We also pray that the example of Jesus and this illustration will motivate us to be more sacrificial toward those that we call friends.
4. Earl C. Willer tells the story of two boys who grew up as best friends:
I’m going to paraphrase and put in my own words the story that Mr. Willer wrote about. Jim and Phillip were the names of the two boys that I’m going to tell you about. Jim was a little older. Most of the time Jim was the leader. They repeatedly did things together.
They went to the same high school. They played the same sports together. They went to the same college. They both joined and went into the marines together.
While in the marines, they were sent to Germany. In Germany they were in the same platoon or unit as they fought the Germans in one of the most horrible of all wars to ever be fought.
On one day as they were in the heat of the battle. There was heavy gunfire. Bombs were crashing in all around them and those in their unit. Things were getting more and more dangerous every second.
The commanding officer gave the orders for the whole unit to retreat!
As all the men were running back, Jim was looking for Phillip, but he never did see Phillip.
Jim checked closer to see for sure if Phillip was with the group. Phillip wasn’t with them. Jim began to panic. Jim knew that if Phillip didn’t show in a minute or two, then something horrible had happened!
Jim asked and then begged his commanding officer to let him go after his friend. The officer told Jim, “No”! The officer told Jim, “that he would only loose his own life, if he went back into all that gunfire and bombs”.
Jim knew that he shouldn’t disobey his commanding officer, but Jim couldn’t stay still a second longer! All Jim could think about was his friend!
Taking the risk to lose his own life, Jim disobeyed and went after his friend!
Jim’s heart was pounding as he ran toward the gunfire and the bombs. Jim was shouting the name Phillip!
A few moments latter some of the men in their platoon or unit saw Jim struggling and hobbling back toward them. Jim was carrying the limp body of his friend, Phillip!
Jim’s commanding officer rebuked Jim and told him how foolish the thing was that he had done! The officer told Jim, “Your friend is dead, and there was nothing you could do to help him”.
Jim said, “No sir, you’re wrong, I got there just in time. Before he died, his last words were “I knew you would come.”
5. I know that we would all have to agree that Jim should have obeyed the commanding officer. Jim should not have taken that kind of risk when he knew that there was probably no chance at all to help his friend.
6. However, Jim provides a good illustration of the way we should make an application of the words of Proverbs 17:17, “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity [or for when I get in trouble].”
7. Let’s also read – read John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”
8. There is a lot of trouble that friends find one another in that is not near as risky as being out on the battle field during war.
(1) There is a lot of trouble that friends find one another in that is not near as severe as being nailed to a cross and left to die a painful, painful death.
(2) During those times friends need to show that they can be depended on. Friends need to show loyalty like Jim showed loyalty to Phillip. Friends need to show beautiful and sacrificial love like Christ did and does for each one of us.
II. SECOND, LET’S LOOK AT ONE EXAMPLE OF WHERE A FRIENDSHP WAS TESTED BETWEEN TWO GIRLS. WE’LL DISCUSS WHAT THE BIBLE TEACHES THAT SHOULD BE DONE SO THAT THE FRIENDSHP OF THE TWO GIRLS WILL BE SAVED. WE’RE GOING TO DISCUSS SOME SPECIFIC WAYS THAT WE CAN SACRIFICE AND SHOW OURSELF TO BE A GOOD FRIEND.
1. Turn to 1 Tim. 5:1-3. This passage teaches how that Christians should treat one another. It especially emphasizes that the younger should treat the older people with great respect and gentleness and politeness.
(1) I know of an occasion where two cousins, who were also close friends, began to have a strain on their friendship because one of these girls had said some hateful things to the grandmother.
(2) The innocent girl began to say hurtful things to the guilty girl. She began to not talk to the girl who had said the bad things. She began to try to cut off their friendship.
(3) Let’s read 1 Tim. 5:1-3, “1 Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity. 3 Honor widows who are really widows.”
2. This passage teaches, among other things, that all young people and all Christians should do their best to show their respect and their love for their parents and their grandparents. They should show special gentleness to widows. They should never be sassy or impolite. Never be rude or hateful to anyone, but especially not to those who are older.
3. If you see someone being sassy or rude, how can you be a good friend and help your friend to overcome this problem?
(1) Don’t be sassy or rude back to them. Don’t quit talking to them. Don’t cut off your friendship.
(2) Keep in mind the examples that Jesus and Jim leave for us of being willing to make whatever sacrifice is necessary to show yourself to be a true friend.
4. Turn to Proverbs 27:5&6. These verses teach that a person shows real friendship and real love when they lovingly talk to someone who has said or done something wrong.
(1) Let’s read Proverbs 27:5&6, “5 Open rebuke is better Than love carefully concealed. 6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
(2) Open rebuke means to go to the one that is guilty of being rude and talking to them, but as you talk to them do it kindly and humbly. Don’t get rude & loud yourself.
(3) The “open rebuke” is better than acting like you love them and yet not saying anything at all. Proverbs 27:5 in talking about, “love carefully concealed” is teaching that not saying anything about the rudeness , but concealing it or keeping quiet about the rudeness is not a proper way to show love or friendship to the other person.
(4) In Proverbs 27:6, the statement, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” refers to the “open rebuke” being felt as “wounds” to the guilty one who has had words of correction spoken to them.
5. The guilty one may feel like the “open rebuke” has “wounded” or hurt them. They may feel like that the person is not their friend. They may feel like the person who gave the “open rebuke” doesn’t like them anymore.
(1) But the friendship shown is true friendship, whereas if the innocent friend had just kept throwing their arms around the guilty one and acted like the rudeness shown to the grandmother was no big deal, that would have been wrong in God’s sight.
(2) In the last part of Proverbs 27:6, the statement “But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” teaches us that someone being “chum, chum and buddy, buddy and sweet, sweet” to us when we need to be given an open rebuke is not really a friend at all.
6. Turn to Galatians 5:14&15. This passage teaches that true friends – true Christians will not become guilty of “biting and fighting with one another like cats and dogs”. Let’s read Gal. 5:14&15, “14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!”
(1) “Being consumed by one another” is teaching that acting like cats and dogs instead of Christ controlled Christians will consume or destroy friendships and Christian relationships.
(2) Let’s learn to appreciate a friend who will point out things that we have said or done that are wrong.
(3) Let’s be a true friend and sacrifice our pride and accept an open rebuke.
(4) Let’s be a true friend and keep talk and friendship alive and never let the flame die out.
CONCLUSION
1. Turn to John 15:13&14. We have learned from this passage that Jesus has proven to be our friend by laying down His life for us.
2. In verse fourteen Jesus teaches that we prove to be a friend to Him, by doing the things He commands.
3. Let’s read John 15:13&14, “13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.”
4. If you are a Christian and realize that you are not a true friend of Christ because you have not been keeping His commands, then you need to come to the front when we sing the invitation song.
5. If you are not a Christian, the command that Jesus gives in Mark 16:16 is especially for you: “He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.”
6. If for any reason you need to respond to the invitation, please come as we stand and sing.
Acknowledgments for a lot of thoughts in the development of this sermon are to go to:
(1) Bob Winton CD Commentary on Matthew 27:50-54. 464 Ridgewood Drive Manchester, Tennessee 37355. If interested in CD covering many O. T. & N.T. books call (866) 753-8456.
(2) Jeff Strite Preacher for the church of Christ in Logansport, Indiania
