Urban Legends Part 4
“To forgive is to forget”
I Cor 13:5, Heb 12:6, Psalm 99:8, II Sam 12:13-14
Introduction
A. We have been doing a sermon series on Urban legends. It seems with the invention of the internet and emails urban legends get passed around much more quickly. The sad thing is that they are believed and then passed along without being looked into. It makes it hard to know what to believe and what not to believe.
B. Sometimes it can get a bit overwhelming. Here is an email about some of the urban legends I received last week. I think most of us have bought into at least one of them.
1. I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. Now I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
2. I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel
3. I no longer ask for lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
4. I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking your nose.
5. I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
6. I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing because there is poop in the glue.
7. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital for the 1 millionth time.
8. I have also learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
9. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
10. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
11. I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
12. I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m pumping gas.
13. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put ’Under God’ on their cans.
14. I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.
15. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
16. I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually bombs from Al Qaeda.
17. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
18. I can’t ever pick up $5 in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath a car to grab my leg.
19. I can no longer drive my car because I can’t buy gas from certain gas companies because they are owned by Satanists.
20. And I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because water splashes over 6 feet out of the commode.
C. Just like there are urban legends that just seem to never die and are passed around and believed by many, there are many urban legends that are believed about God, Jesus and Christianity. They are passed around without looking to find out if they are true or false. They seem to live on even though they are not true. Before passing them along it would be good to check into them to see if they are true. We have already covered three of the most popular spiritual urban legends, “There are many ways to God,” “The Bible is full of contradictions.” and “All sin is the same” We discovered that all of them are false. Today we are going to continue our sermon series as we look into another very popular ‘Urban Legend.’ This one is about forgiveness.
Online Text question
A. Today I have another online text question
To forgive is to forget. You chose which of the following is the correct answer.
This is true all the time.
The is never true
This is true some of the time.
B. Go ahead and text in your answer. You only get one vote. This survey can only accept a limited amount of votes so if you wait to long you won’t be able to text your vote.
C. Lack of forgiveness is the cause of most people’s problems. There is a lot of confusion about forgiveness especially among Christians. Because of this confusion many people don’t know how to deal with offenses and as a result carry bitterness and anger for many years of their lives. Today I hope to clear some of this up. We are going to start in the I Corinthians 13:5
Does forgiveness mean to forget? I Cor 13:5
A. How do you forget something? If I told you to forget something how would you do that? Is it something you can consciously do? No, we don’t have the power to purposely ‘forget’ something. It reminds me of the story of the lady who was reminded of a vicious deed that someone had done to her years before. But she acted like she didn’t remember it. “Don’t you remember it?” Her answer was “No, I distinctly remember the day I forgot it.” Now how can you remember the day that you forgot something?
B. Actually there are several ways we forget something. There is accidental forgetfulness like; you forgot to close the door. Or you fail to remember something, like ‘I forgot what she said.” This is accidental and it is not looked at as a good thing. It is a sign of poor memory, or as some might say, ‘getting old!’
C. Then there is a kind of ‘intentional’ forgetfulness but it does not mean you can’t remember it anymore. Like you can say to someone, “Just forget it,” if they owe you something. What you mean is that they don’t have to remember it. This doesn’t mean that they actually forgot it, it just means they don’t have to keep it on their mind, they can let it go. This is ‘intentional’ forgetfulness.
D. We don’t have the power to ‘forget something.’ We have the power to choose to ‘not remember it anymore.’ This is what we are told to do in I Cor 13:5. The KJ & NKJ translations read, “Thinks no evil.” The NIV reads, “It keeps no record of wrongs.” The Message reads, “Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others.” “Keeps no record of wrongs.” This means that it is evil if we keep bringing up things that people have done to us in the past. To forgive means to stop bringing it up. It means you don’t keep score. To forgive means you don’t keep the memory in the conscious part of the mind, instead you let it slip into the subconscious. To forgive means you have closed the account. It means you don’t keep score.
E. But can we forget it? Everything that happens to us is registered in our brain and becomes part of a permanent file. It becomes part of our memory. We cannot just wipe the memory clean, like a computer or a tape. It is permanent. We don’t have the power to erase that file.Now that memory will eventually move to our subconscious files. But it is not erased. If someone mentions it or if something similar happens to you it will come up again. You have no power over that. The fact is that it will brought up again sometime in the future. Just because we remember an offense against us is not an indication that we have not forgiven that person.
F. How do we react when we remember that situation? Do we have anger or fear? When we forgive that allows the memory to heal without becoming infected, So that when we remember it, we are not full of pain, like touching an infection. It is important that when it slips into the subconscious part of the mind that it is not full of infection. The subconscious part of our mind affects how we behave. That is what makes our actions so hard to understand. We don’t always know why we do things.
G. We need to forgive people and release them by not holding anger and resentment in our hearts towards them. We may not ever forget the hurt but when it does come to our memory it won’t cause us to relive the pain again.
Another urban legend about forgiveness is that you can’t punish a person after you have forgiven them. II Sam 12:13-14, Heb 12:6, Psalm 99:8, II Sam 12:13-14
A. Can you punish a person after you have forgiven them? If you truly forgive someone can you punish them? Yes. Hebrews 12:6 tells us, “Whom God loves He punishes.” This in no way means that He has not forgiven us. Also in Psalm 99:8, “God forgave but took vengeance on them.” In II Sam 12:13-14, God forgave David but punished him by taking his child. Forgiveness does not always do away with consequences. Often there are consequences even though we have been forgiven.
B. You can forgive a person and still not trust them; such as a thief, drug addict, drunkard, immoral person. They still need to prove themselves. If they haven’t repented you especially don’t want to trust them, but you still forgive them. Even after they have repented you can wait until they show by their deeds they have repented.
C. What we are saying is, that when you forgive someone you are no longer angry with that person. You cancel the emotional debt. You are not holding hatred or bitterness in your heart toward them for what they did. Yet it may be appropriate to hold them accountable for their actions. The principle of reaping what you sow is biblical. You can’t have hatred or vengeance in your heart when you are punishing them. It should be done with love for that person.
D. You don’t always have to punish a person. Some of the criteria you might use would be: Was it an accident? You should consider the seriousness of the offense. Are they sorry?
E. What do you do when your child says, "I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry," and the reason they are saying this is because you are getting ready to spank them, or even if they mean it. Do you now decide not to spank them? No, you still spank them. You could say, “Well I am glad that you are sorry, now maybe the punishment won’t be AS bad, but you still will be punished.” This in no way means that you have not forgiven them of their wrongdoing. It is the same with trying to get the child to tell the truth. You may want to say, “If you tell me the truth you won’t get spanked. Now did you break mommy’s lamp?” You know full well that the child broke the lamp, but you are trying to get the child to tell the truth. It might be better to say, “You are going to get spanked for what you did, because I believe you did it.” (Sometimes you have to take that risk and go with your gut feeling.) Now if you tell me the truth the punishment won’t be as severe, but you WILL be punished.”
F. Sometimes it is easier to believe we are forgiven if we are punished for the offense.
Summary
A. To forgive does not mean to forget. Although when we forget we should choose to not remember it anymore and not to keep bringing up the offense.
B. Forgiveness does not always do away with consequences. Often there are consequences even though we have been forgiven.
Did not use: God does not forget our sins Heb 8:12
“For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.” He also says this in Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins.”
He chooses not to remember but it does not say anywhere in the Bible that He forgets our sins. In the same way He is asking us to do that for others. We should choose not to remember or not to keep bringing up an offense that someone has committed once we have forgiven them.
