Five Things To help you Marriage
Although there are many ways to improve your marriage, this list of five things you can do to improve your marriage is centered around major red flag issues that can tear your marriage apart:
Lack of respect for one another
Lack of time with each other
Lack of sexual desire for one another
Lack of sharing responsibilities
Lack of having agreed upon financial goals.
1. Don’t Take Each Other for Granted.
If you are taking your spouse for granted because you believe that your partner will always be there for you, you are making a huge mistake. Take the time and make the effort to be kind, thoughtful, appreciative, respectful, supportive, and affirming towards your spouse.
Not taking your spouse for granted means going beyond remembering your anniversary and your spouse’s birthday. Not taking your spouse for granted means being tuned in to how your spouse feels and what your spouse thinks. Not taking your spouse for granted means you listen, you don’t interrupt, and you show and tell your spouse of your love.
Without kindness in your relationship, your marriage won’t last. Here are some ways to check up on yourself to see how kind you are in your marriage:
• You say “yes” a lot more than “no” when your spouse asks for a favor or for help.
• You are willing to share that last piece of pie or cookie because being kind is being generous.
• You listen with your heart.
• You don’t interrupt your spouse.
• You are polite and say “please” and “thank you” when speaking to your spouse.
• You don’t think it is old fashioned to open a heavy door for your spouse or to share your jacket if your mate is shivering.
• You show respect for your mate.
• You let your spouse know how much he/she is appreciated.
• You don’t roll your eyes when your spouse says something you disagree with or something you think is trivial or boring.
• You routinely look for the good in your spouse.
• You are helpful.
• You don’t allow unkind comments to flow from your lips.
• You make sure that your teasing is fun and not hurtful.
2. Work Together to Improve Your Intimate (Sex) Life
If you don’t want to end up as one of the "sexless marriage" statistics, don’t put your sex life on the low end of your priority list. Remind yourselves of when you first met and the first twinges of lust that you felt for one another.
Leave romantic and suggestive love notes for one another.
Flirt with one another.
Plan for time alone with one another on a regular basis.
Showing your spouse how much you love and care can lead to satisfying and fulfilling sex.
3. Agree to Do Your Share of Chores Around Your Home
If you want peace, harmony and a clean, organized home, then the two of you need to work together to insure that household tasks such as:
Keeping financial records,
Maintenance,
Shopping,
Yard work,
Planning, cleaning,
Cooking, child care,
Transportation, etc. are shared responsibilities.
Clutter around the house can create stress for both of you so talk about how both of you can routinely keep the clutter to a minimum.
The Biggest Mistake You Can Make Regarding Chores. Don’t ask your spouse for help around the house. Asking for help gives the impression that the household chores are only your job and responsibility. Instead, ask your spouse to do his/her share. Chores around the house should be shared responsibilities.
Sit down together and make a list of the chores that each of you absolutely hates to do. What one hates, the other may be able to tolerate. If both of you detest the same chore, then figure out a way to compromise in getting this particular unpleasant task done. Or perhaps you could tackle the horrid chore together, as a team. You could also find some money in your budget to hire someone to do that task.
Don’t nag. Keep lists of chores written and posted if this is an issue in your home. After a while, the written lists probably won’t be necessary.
Be flexible and allow your spouse to accomplish a task in his/her own way. If having the towels folded a certain way is super important to you, then you fold the towels.
4. Talk About Your Finances
When you have money it can come between the two of you if you haven’t talked about your financial goals, saving money, and spending money.
If your budget is tight, money can create stress and division as you cope with bills and worry.
Attend a financial workshop,
Talk with a financial planner,
Learn recommended ways of building a nest egg for emergencies and planning for your retirement.
Discuss your finances so the two of you are on the same financial wave length.
Budget. Where does your money go? Even if your budget is a general one, it is important to know
how your dollars are being spent. If you don’t have a workable budget, develop one.
Financial Vulnerability. Where are the two of you most vulnerable in your finances? Is it a lack of job security, over spending, not enough income, too much debt? Decide together how to strengthen your financial position.
5. Simplify Your Lives
Think about the number of hours you each work, the amount of time you spend on hobbies or on home maintenance, and the time you want to spend with friends or extended family versus the amount of time you spend with one another.
Reevaluate how you both spend your time and consider how to simplify your lives whether you are newlyweds, a couple with children, or an empty nest couple. If you are over worked, over extended, and over tired, you put your marriage at risk.
The idea of downsizing involves more than moving to a smaller home. Downsizing is more about attitude than it is about space.
How to spend time together:
Take walks.
Have an evening out on a regular basis.
Take a trip together more often.
Listen to music with one another.
Read books together.
