Handling Conflict within God’s Family
Acts 15:22-35 follows up on the Jerusalem Council, where the apostles and other Jewish church leaders extended grace to the Gentiles who had believed on Jesus. They told them they did not have to keep the Jewish law of Moses in order to be saved. Since we already covered the content of the letter they sent back to Antioch a few weeks ago, I’d like to skip over this passage and look at Acts 15:36-41. Paul & Barnabas have returned to Antioch with Silas and Judas, welcoming the Gentiles to faith in Christ without being bound by the law of Moses. Now, we’ll pick up with verse 36:
-36 Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing."
37 Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, 38 but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. 39 They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, 40 but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. 41 He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.
Intro: [Example of conflict- how not to deal w/ it] Have you ever had a disagreement with another Christian, and you both knew you were right? As long as we are in this world, there will be disagreements. Close family members can disagree on things and may never change their minds about how they feel. Friends can be friends and still disagree on a number of things. Disagreeing with someone does not mean that you do not love them, nor does it necessarily mean that you are angry with them. Disagreement is the result of a little something God gave to all human beings: a will.
-So, I believe it is okay to disagree with one another on a variety of issues, as long as we learn to do it in love. We must agree on certain non-negotiables that God has clearly revealed to us in Scripture, but there are countless issues where unity can be found without having uniformity of thought. Here is where I’m going with all this.
Prop: Those who follow Christ can hold strong convictions without sacrificing good relationships.
(Another way to say this comes from Eph. 4:15, which says, “Speak the truth in love.”)
Interrogative: How is this possible?
TS: Let’s look at a few thoughts from our text that show us how believers can disagree agreeably. First we see that all need encouragement.
I. Christ-Followers Need to Foster an Encouraging Environment
36 Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing."
-Both Paul and Barnabas were caring men who wanted to help people grow strong in their faith and love for Christ. God had burdened them with a desire to see His church grow and flourish. It is no wonder, then, that they wanted to return to the people they had led to the Lord to encourage them. We have already seen them return to some churches to strengthen them: Acts 14:21-22 “Then they returned to Lystra, Iconium and Antioch, 22 strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith.
-However, there were other times that even Paul found himself in need of strength and encouragement: [Click] Acts 23:11 “The following night the Lord stood near Paul and said, "Take courage! As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify in Rome." Paul was in the middle of all kinds of problems and may have been dealing with fear and discouragement. Why else would Jesus Himself visit him and say, “Take courage.”
-We may or may not get a personal visit from Jesus. But one thing is certain: Jesus wants us to be encouraged! He may send someone to you to lift your spirits and give you hope. We should all be quick to speak the language of love and encouragement to one another. It may be safe to say that we should always be on one end or the other of encouragement. The front end starts with an “E”. That can remind us to Extend encouragement to those around us. [Click] The last letter of encouragement is a “T”. That serves to remind us to Take encouragement when it is extended to us. There are many times when we simply need to encourage ourselves in the Lord, as David did: [Click] 1 Samuel 30:6 “Now David was greatly distressed… but David strengthened [encouraged] himself in the LORD his God.”
-We all need it! It produces health in the body of Christ, and in our hearts and minds. Also, heavy doses of encouragement can strengthen our emotional immune system, so that when we face conflict or disagreements with other believers, we won’t get “emotion sickness.” That leads us to the 2nd point.
II. Christ-Followers Will Sometimes Disagree Strongly
37Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, 38 but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. 39 They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, 40 but Paul chose Silas and left…
-Sometimes it is okay to disagree. Both parties can be right at the same time. Not every argument is an issue of truth versus untruth or right versus wrong. Sometimes we feel passionately about something because of the way God wired us.
-Barnabas may have been more of a compassion person than Paul was, but it probably didn’t hurt that Mark was his cousin. Paul may have seen things as more black and white. That is not to say that he did not care about people. Obviously he did. However, he was consumed with his passion for preaching the gospel and seeing lost people (esp. Gentiles) come to know the Lord and grow in faith. Anything that threatened the success of the good news about Jesus became a threat to Paul. Paul saw Mark as a weak link in their ministry efforts, because he had not been faithful the last time he had traveled with them. [Click] Acts 13:13: “From Paphos, Paul and his companions sailed to Perga in Pamphylia, where John left them to return to Jerusalem.”
- Why did John/Mark turn back from the work? Some scholars believe that he left them “not because of homesickness, or anxiety for his mother’s safety, or home duties, or the desire to rejoin Peter, or fear of the perils incident to the journey, but rather because he objected to the offer of salvation to the Gentiles on condition of faith alone. There are hints that Mark’s family, like Paul’s, were Hebrews of the Hebrews, and it may be significant that in both verses (Acts 13:5,13) he is given only his Hebrew name. If this is why Mark left, no wonder Paul had no interest in taking him. God had called Paul to be an apostle to the Gentiles, and if Mark didn’t really think Gentiles should get into God’s family without being circumcised and keeping the law of Moses, then he would cause more harm than good as they revisited the Gentiles they had led to Christ.
-Regardless, Paul had his mind on the mission, [Click] and Barnabas had his mind on the minister, Mark. They were both right! Mark later became a great minister, used by God. Paul stayed true to the mission God had called him on, and helped turn the world upside down with the gospel. But they disagreed so strongly, that they could not continue together. Both were so passionate about doing what they thought was right, that they went their separate ways to do what the Lord had placed in their hearts to do.
-TS: That leads us to the third point.
III. Christ-Followers Should Relate to One Another in Loving Humility
40 “Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord.”
-The Bible has given us guidelines for resolving offenses. We find in Matthew 5 and 18 that God expects believers to forgive when offended and make amends when they offend others. [Click]
-Now, as we look at the dispute between Paul and Barnabas, it appears that neither one of them was guilty of an offense or a sin against each other, so in a sense, there was no reconciliation or forgiveness needed between them. It doesn’t say that they hated each other or left on bitter terms. Both of them had a strong case. Paul was right in the sense that those who are sent to preach the gospel must be faithful, loyal, committed, and not prejudiced against Gentiles. He did not want the gospel to be hindered by having Mark either add requirements to the gospel, or bail out on them again. Barnabas (or Cousin Barney) was also right. Mark needed encouragement and further training if he was ever to become the man of God he was meant to be.
-We are tempted to side with Barnabas, and perhaps if Paul had it to do over, he might do some things differently. We do know that Paul completely accepted Mark later on. [Click x3] 2 Timothy 4:11 “Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.” In Philemon, Paul calls Mark one of his fellow workers. In 1 Peter 5:13, Peter writes, “…my son Mark sends his greetings.”
-So, whether Paul was right or Barnabas, we know the God brought Mark through to maturity. He became the man of God he was destined to be.
-The important thing to remember is that even if we cannot agree with another believer, we can and must love them and be humble in our relationship with them. When Paul was older, he wrote clearly about this in his letter to the Philippians: [Click]
-Philippians 2:1-7 “Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and sympathetic? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose. 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. 4 Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing. 5 Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. 6 Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. 7 He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form.”
-Someone might read this and say, “Practice what you preach, Paul. You didn’t act that way toward Mark!” Well, I think the best response to this is each one of us is a work in progress. As great as Paul was, he had a lot of growing to do! Perhaps he even made a few mistakes along the way. We don’t find it in the Bible, but there may have been a time and place when Paul humbled himself before Mark and said, “I was wrong about you. I thought you were going to hinder the work of God, but you have proven yourself to be faithful and very useful in the ministry.” Or maybe, it wasn’t the issue of Paul being wrong – after all, Mark had some issues to work through. Paul’s honest assessment of Mark, balanced by the encouragement from Cousin Barney, helped motivate him to change and develop into a faithful, trustworthy, effective Christ-follower. And that is what Jesus wants each of us to become.
-Maybe we are wishy-washy sometimes. Maybe we tend to be somewhat prejudiced against certain kinds of people. Maybe we have let God and other people down and they are not sure they can rely on us. However, God hasn’t stopped believing that His grace can change us into the man or woman He wants us to be.
-In Philippians 1:6[Click], Paul writes, “I am quite confident that the One who began a good work in you will go on completing it until the Day of Jesus Christ comes.”
-That leads us to our final point.
IV. Christ-Followers Must Never Allow Conflict to Stop the Flow of God’s Grace
41 He [Paul] went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.
-What if Paul would have become bitter and quit doing what God had called him to do, because of hurt feelings or anger against Barnabas? We probably wouldn’t even know his name.
-This life will be filled with disagreements, arguments, problems, fights, embarrassment, stupidity, and other unpleasant things, but we must never let any of those negative things derail God’s plan for our lives. One big reason for that is simply that you don’t want to miss out on what God is doing. However, there is another reason that is bigger than you are. If the grace of God stops flowing through your life, how many other people will miss out on what God wants to do in them?
-Maybe it is in God’s plan for you to be the one whose life would give hope to that person who was considering suicide. God was using the hard times you were going through to shape you into a caring, sensitive person who could give hope to others who were going through dark times. What if, because somebody disagreed with you and offended you, you bailed out, and took a time-out from God? When we let personal hurts and problems stop the flow of God’s grace in our lives, we may be blocking the only ray of light some people will see in this dark world! [There’s a Christian song from the 80’s that says, You’re the only Jesus some may ever see.] [Click]
-Don’t let anger or bitterness steal your joy or your confidence in Jesus! He is counting on you, and who knows how many other friends or family members are counting on you – whether they know it or not.
Conclusion: In closing, we Need to Foster an Encouraging Environment, because sometimes those who follow Christ will Disagree Strongly. Love is strong enough to keep the relationship intact! We must learn to Relate to One Another in Loving Humility, and Never Allow Conflict to Stop the Flow of God’s Grace in and through our lives.
-It is so important to keep our relationships healthy and free of offense. Maybe you’re facing offenses from the past and you need to let go of today. I’d like to end with this video clip about baggage. If you’re lugging around a load of unforgiveness or bitterness, I urge you to let go and forgive today. God will help you. Forgiveness and grace will preserve our relationships with one another – even when we disagree strongly. Get these things right today, because you do not know if this could be your last day to do so.
