House
“House Manners”
I. Introduction
I told you in the very first message of this series that each natural house has its own set of rules. It has its own structure and set up. I also told you that it is essential for you to be a productive member of that house to know those house rules. So I told you that God’s house rule is authority. We have examined the 3 vehicles or avenues of exerting or wielding His authority. The preeminent authority figure in our life is His word. He has exalted His word even above the power of His own name. The second authority figure is our conscience. That internal referee that keeps us moving in the right direction when we march into gray areas. Our peace level is an indicator as to whether or not we are in the right. Last week, Woody did a great job of talking to us about the third authority figure which is delegated authority. I want to remind you again that authority figure #2 and #3 must line up and answer to authority figure #1 on every occasion or we revert back to what authority figure #1 says!
Well this morning, I want to talk to you about another element of living effectively in the house. I will refer again back to my natural house to illustrate. To be a productive, blessed, covered, member of my natural house and in order to be able to sit down with no pain you had to abide by house manners! There were certain things that I had to do and could not do in my house. Let me give you some examples.
1. I couldn’t talk with my mouth full. That is rude.
2. I couldn’t leave the table until everyone was finished eating.
3. I couldn’t call folks that were older than me by their first name. I had to preface that address with either Bro. or Sis. or Mister or Mrs. That is why I say Mr. Danny! LOL!
4. Here is the biggy . . . I had to open the door for a woman. Still to this day I do that. In fact, on many occasions I will open the door for a woman and they will stop and try to get me to ahead and go first. My standard response is “Are you kidding? My mom would kill me!”
House manners. Manners are defined as “social conduct or rules of conduct”. What I want you to know and understand that in God’s house there are also House Manners that we must learn and abide by.
Turn to your neighbor and tell them “Mind your manners.”
Paul addressed house manners when he deals with the church in Corinth. Their worship services were marked by confusion and chaos and he reminds them to mind their manners!
TEXT: 1 Corinthians 14:40; 1 Timothy 3:15
But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.
But if I am delayed, I write so that you may know how you ought to conduct yourself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.
In other words, there are manners that we should abide by! I also remember that if I didn’t mind my manners what happened. Could we stop for a moment of special prayer for Pastor – I am so scarred! No . . . learning manners helped me mature! I don’t want us to be reprimanded in God’s House! So let’s learn some manners so we can mature.
Now I could preach about manners in God’s House for weeks. I could deal with how our worship services are supposed to be conducted. How we are supposed to respond to government. However, I want to sort of hone in on the manners that deal with how we interact with each other. Because I have discovered that if we treat each other with manners then treating God with manners is almost a given!
I. Manner #1 – Regard
2 Corinthians 5:16
Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer.
16 So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now!
Listen to what Paul says, “We viewed Christ by where he came from, what his idiosyncrasies were that bothered us, his annoying traits and we missed who he was! But we have learned to regard him after the spirit and discovered He was God in the flesh!”
If they had to learn to do that with Christ how much more do we have to do that with one another? If the disciples had to get past the fact that Jesus was born into a carpenter’s home, made a C on a math test in 4th grade, had a pimple every now and again, had gastro intestinal issues when he ate pizza to late at night so that they could see Him for who He really was that should teach us that we have to look deeper into one another!
The first house manner is that we no longer regard one another after the flesh! What does that mean? That means when I look at you I don’t see your fleshly traits that bother me! I make a conscious choice to look past the human traits, the stuff that drives me nuts, the hang ups, your past and instead I have to make up my mind to look deep inside of you to see the Jesus in you! I don’t regard you after what or who you used to be. That means your ugly past doesn’t determine whether or not I will hang around you or not. That’s not who you are anymore! I don’t regard you by what abilities or talents I think you have or don’t have! I regard you after the spirit that is in you.
What does that mean? That means I can no longer look at an usher and think they are just an usher. The spirit in them may have something to contribute to my life. I can’t see you as just a singer. The spirit inside of you may have a word that will change my life.
See the revelation of this passage and the importance of learning this manner is that now I can’t allow the stuff about you naturally that I don’t like to cause me to avoid or dislike you because the result is that I could forfeit the impact you may have been assigned to have in my life.
I have asked you this question before, but I want to ask you again, “What if your destiny is wrapped up in someone you don’t like?” “What if you miss God because you choose to regard someone after their flesh rather than after their spirit?” “What if you only think I can give you a word because you regard me differently than you regard the children’s worker because of a title?”
Mind your manners! See everyone around us after the spirit and not the flesh. That allows us to look past traits we don’t like. That allows me to look past failures and see Jesus in people. By the way, people are doing the same thing for you! We have to look past stuff in you to see Jesus! If we would learn this manner three things would happen. We would treat people better, we would see more Jesus around us, and the playing field would be leveled because titles wouldn’t matter anymore!
II. Manner #2 – Respect
Romans 13:7
Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.
We must mind our manners! This house will operate on honor. Those that deserve honor will be honored! We should go out of our way to honor those who labor among us! You want to get my ire up or God’s ire up? Disparage someone who is working as a volunteer, gives freely of their time, arrives early, and stays late! We should honor them. Worship team doesn’t get paid we should honor them. Children’s workers don’t get paid we should honor them. Ushers don’t get paid we should honor them. Greeters don’t get paid we should honor them. Sound techs don’t get paid we should honor them. The college/young adult team doesn’t get paid we should honor them. Youth pastors don’t get paid near enough we should honor them. And the list goes on and on. We should mind our manners and honor these folks. Practical – during this Thanksgiving Season why don’t you pick one of these people and thank them?
You receive people according to how your perceive people! In other words, the blessing that God may want to bring from someone into your life can be blocked by whether or not you operate with house manners!
This manner should trickle down into all of our relationships! If we honor one another we will act out Romans 12:10 which teaches us “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” We shouldn’t have to jockey for position or place if we honor or prefer one another. How many of you realize that this manner flies in the face of traditional church? Usually it is all about if I get my way, my wants, my rights, my desires met then I am OK. No, we honor each other!
This trickles down into our homes. We are instructed to honor our parents. In fact, young people, the Bible says that this will determine how long you live. Husbands respect your wives and treat them with dignity. Wives respect husbands and he will live up to your honor!
Isn’t it interesting that the Word actually applies to our lives? If we would just mind our manners things would be better in God’s house and in our house!
III. Manner #3 – Resolve
Matthew 18:15-20
"If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.
18-20"Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there."
I know I have read at least the first part of this to you on numerous occasions. Although I expanded to include 18-20 this time and I will get to that in a moment. I will continue to read this passage to you because there isn’t much that shocks me anymore. I have seen a lot of things. Crazy things. Scary things. Weird things. However, the one thing that still shocks me when I deal with Christians and God’s House is the number of unresolved relationships in church. We will leave a church rather than staying and minding our manners. Or if we won’t leave the church we will literally avoid people for decades. Go to a different service, sit on the other side of the room, hold secret grudges and never deal with them. I worked at a church where there were hurts and disputes and rifts that were decades old and they are still unresolved and the church has in effect forfeited its destiny because the people can’t get along with each other!
Proverbs 20:3 It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.
There are a lot of houses that must be full of fools! Cause they will fight at the drop of a hat! I know you have never attended that church before!
Mind your manners! Resolve issues correctly. We have to learn to resolve disputes, rifts, and deal with hurts. You can’t get away from your family! You will live together forever! You might as well learn to live together peaceably now!
Listen! Worship won’t make the grudge go away! Prayer won’t make the relationship right! Matthew 5 teaches us that before you worship, before you pray make things right! Resolution must come before we worship and before we pray!
I expanded the passage because I have never really looked at these passages as connecting, but think about this statement. He instructs us on how to operate with manners. We are told to resolve our quarrels and then we are told two important things:
a. What we say to one another will last forever.
That should change what we say to one another and how we say it.
b. God’s presence here is dependent and determined by whether or not we are together!
You can be in the same room and not be together. Being together isn’t just geography it is also mentality! I just walked into some of your bedrooms right there. IF WE WANT GOD IN THE HOUSE WE HAVE TO BE TOGETHER! It said gathered together because of me…well aren’t you with your spouse because of Him?
Let’s become a house that refuses to fight each other! Let’s become a house that points our guns at the enemy! Let’s become a house filled with the glory of God because we are together. Let’s make sure that your house is filled with the glory of God because you are together!
IV. Manner #4 – Restore
Galatians 6:1
Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out.
Grace is a mandated manner. We must become a house full of grace. The truth is we won’t always mind our manners. We will fail to regard one another according to the Spirit at times. We will fail to give honor where honor is due. There will be times the pastor should acknowledge someone for their sacrifice and service and I will blow it. There will be times you will hurt my feelings and do me wrong, but this house manner allows me to stay together in the house! How do I deal with you when you get on my nerves? I mind my manners. How do I deal with you when you hurt my feelings? I mind my manners and extend grace! May Acts 4:32-33 be the description of this House!
Acts 4:32-33
32-33The whole congregation of believers was united as one—one heart, one mind! They didn’t even claim ownership of their own possessions. No one said, "That’s mine; you can’t have it." They shared everything. The apostles gave powerful witness to the resurrection of the Master Jesus, and grace was on all of them.
V. Close
I want to challenge you today to mind your manners! Have you regarded individuals correctly? Have you overlooked someone who may hold your destiny in their hands?
Have you honored those whom deserve honor? Have you said thank you lately.
Are there unresolved conflicts in this room or in your room? You keep God out if you aren’t together!
Are you willing to become a house full of grace?
