INTRODUCTION
• For the past few weeks we’ve been learning lessons from a couple named Caleb and Catherine, who are husband and wife and the central characters in the movie Fireproof.
• Not knowing how to really love each other, Caleb and Catherine have done a lot of things to hurt each other. They’ve come to the resentment stage in their marriage, and both of them want out.
• Then, Caleb’s dad hands him a book called, The Love Dare, which teaches him the fundamentals of expressing love.
• One of the issues that has pushed this couple apart is Caleb’s obsession with owning a boat. He’s been saving money to buy one for years, while Catherine’s mother needs medical equipment but has no money to purchase it.
• Watch this video, and see what happens when Caleb finally figures out the true nature of love. The first scene occurs early in the movie, and the second scene happens weeks later.
• Play the Session Six clip from your Fireproof Your Marriage DVD.
• PLAY CLIP
• SLIDE #1
• Today we are going to examine a better way to love.
• As a quick review we need to see that there are three types of love spoken of in the New Testament.
• EROS
• PHILEOS
• AGAPE
• Eros love is sensual love. Eros asks the question,
• EROS = “WHAT CAN I GET OUT OF THIS?”
• Phileos is relational love. It’s a deeper kind of love. It asks the question,
• PHILEOS = “WHAT CAN WE GET OUT OF THIS?”
• Agape is unconditional love. It’s the deepest kind of love. It asks the question
• AGAPE = “WHAT CAN YOU GET OUT OF THIS?”
• Another way to think of these is,
• EROS LOVES WHEN…
• PHILEOS LOVES BECAUSE…
• AGAPE LOVES IN SPITE OF…
• Let’s begin by looking at Luke 5:1-11
• SLIDE #2
• Luke 5:1-11(ESV)
• From this portion of the story we see…
• SLIDE #3
SERMON
I. Better love thinks about others more than self. (1-11)
• From the story we can see that Jesus thought about others before Himself.
• As Jesus began to teach the people, He had a choice of how to love them. He could have erosed them, or phileosed them or agaped them. His first challenge was how to manage the crowd.
• If He had erosed them, He would have said to Himself, “I love it when this happens. I love it when a crowd comes to adore me.”
• If the men and women had started pushing and shoving to get closer, He would have pushed them back and said, “Careful! If you get rough with Me, I’ll stop the lesson and you won’t be able to learn any more today.”
• If He had phileosed them, He would have said to Himself, “This is so great. We’re all here together to learn.
• I need to manage this thing so that none of us gets hurt.” With this perspective, most likely He would have organized the people and asked them to treat each other nicely, and then gone on with His sermon.
• Jesus didn’t employ either of those kinds of love.
• When the crowd began to grow, instead of thinking, “me,” or “we,” Jesus thought “them,” and “you.”
• While continuing to teach, He thought to Himself, “What can I do to serve these people better? After all, they’re getting crowded, and some of them are about to get wet.”
• Without missing a beat, He moved Himself into the boat and set it up so everyone could see and hear and feel comfortable.
• That’s real love, that’s agape. – Not, “me,” not even, “we,” but “you” love.
• Jesus’ second challenge was loving Peter.
• When the sermon was over, instead of thinking about Himself, or even thinking about everyone there, He thought about Peter. “Hey Pete,” He says, “Let’s go catch some fish!”
• And in His better way of loving, He sets it up so that Peter experiences the catch of his life.
• Now, which would have been easier on Jesus: fishing that day, or not fishing? (Not fishing.)
• He didn’t need the fish. He didn’t need the exercise. He didn’t need to spend the extra few hours in the burning sun.
• But Jesus wasn’t in the boat for Himself. He was in the boat for Peter. So after the sermon was over, He just loved Peter.
• Let’s look at verses 12-16 together for our second principle.
• SLIDE #4
• Luke 5:12-16(ESV)
• SLIDE #5
II. Better love makes the first move.
• Better love initiates the friendship, rather than waiting for the other person to initiate it. Jesus called Peter, not vice versa.
• Jesus initiated the idea of fishing, not vice versa. Love takes the first step, it’s proactive, not reactive. It doesn’t wait for others to begin the friendship, it makes the first move.
• You might be able to see this even more clearly in this next story in the book of Luke. Right after the big catch, Jesus heals a man with leprosy.
• When the Bible says that a person has leprosy, it’s not talking about some mild skin disease. Leprosy was painful, humiliating, and life-ending.
• The minute this man noticed one little white spot on his arm or leg or stomach, he was required by the Law to remove himself from all human contact.
• From that moment, to the end of his life, leprosy was so contagious, he could never touch anyone again. Can you image that? Never being able to hug your wife, pat your son on the head, stroke your daughter’s hair, shake hands with a friend?
• The first sign of leprosy was not only a death-sentence, it was an isolation sentence. Lepers were not allowed to live with their loved ones any more.
• They couldn’t live in the village, they couldn’t come into the village. When a person came within 10 feet of them, they had to shout loudly and clearly, “leper!” so that everyone would know to stir clear of them.
• Notice the man is FULL of leprosy. Jesus reaches out to touch the man, Jesus made the first move to show true love, He did not just tell the man he was healed, Jesus TOUCHED the man and healed him! Verse 13
• This is agape. This is, “What can I do for you?” love. This is not, “I love you when…” It’s not, “I love you because…” It’s, “I love you in spite of…” I love you warts and all.
• Can you imagine what kind of relationship you can have if you are willing to make the first move? Who is going to make the first move to say, “I am sorry”? Who is going to make the first move to stop the destructive patterns of behavior, you know, as long as she treats me this way, I will respond the same way.
• Let’s look at verses 17-26 for our next principle concerning a better way to love.
• SLIDE #6
• Luke 5:17-26(ESV)
• Next we see…
• SLIDE #7
III. Better love takes risks.
• Jesus took a risk by touching the man with leprosy.
• Here we have a man who was paralyzed; his friends were trying to lay him down before Jesus.
• There were too many people so these men went up on the roof, dug a large hole in the dirt roof and lowered their friend down to Jesus.
• Jesus sees the love and faith of these men and Jesus forgives the paralyzed mans sins and then told the man to take up his bed and go home!
• Did Jesus have to forgive the man’s sins publically? (No.) He could have said, “Be healed,” but instead, he takes care of both the man’s body and his soul, healing one, forgiving the other.
• Better love is worth the risk, will you take the risk to forgive the one who hurt you, will you take the risk to open your heart again after you have been hurt? Better love knows it is worth the risk!
• Apparently, Jesus knew something about this man. He knew that his paralysis was connected to his lifestyle.
• We don’t know what the man’s sin was, but Jesus speaks to it while healing his legs.
• This leads to our last principle.
• SLIDE #8
IV. Better loves goes the last 10%.
• If Jesus had wanted to love this man a little, He could have said, “Stand up and walk.”
• If He’d wanted to love him a lot, He could have built him up by saying, “The depths of the love of your friends shows the depth of the love you must have. Get up and go home.”
• But Jesus loves this man too much to heal him 90%, so instead of just fixing his feet, he ministers to his heart too.
• A better way to love is to love people all the way to the end. Just like Jesus loved us all the way to the Cross, if we’re going to love, we can’t quit part way in helping or serving or speaking to a friend, we’ve got to go all the way.
• If we’re doing a project, the 1ast 10% is staying and completing the task. Not doing 90% of the dishes, but doing all the dishes.
• Sometimes going the extra 10% is not easy.
• How do you love a friend while saying something that might initially hurt him?
• This is advanced loving. But if you’re going to master it, speaking the last 10% is the greatest part of love.
• This principle was pointed out by Bill Hybels. It’s a principle that’s easily abused. You can actually speak the last 10% more easily if you’re erosing someone. You can tell them the real truth about themselves by telling them off.
• When communicating with a friend, the last 10% is the part that you’re tempted to leave out because it’s too much.
• On the negative side, it’s the part we ignore when we try to help someone get better. We’ll say, “You might want to work on this or that,” but to say, “but the truth is, no matter how hard you work, this probably isn’t going to be something you’ll be good at.”
• Or, “but the truth is, I think you’ve got to improve your work ethic. There aren’t too many areas of your life where you work very hard at all.”
• On the positive side, the last 10% is the complement unsaid. “Great job! Way to go!
• That was really good.” If we’re really feeling, how much deeper does it fill a person’s soul when we take time to write it out and say the whole 100%, including, “When you did that, it was one of the most impressive things I’ve ever seen.
• The whole room lit up. I was moved. I will remember that moment for a lifetime. You touched me deeply.” Those types of sentiment can be awkward, or embarrassing, so sometimes we decide not to say them.
• Here’s what I know friends. Our world needs a better way of loving. Our friends need a better way of loving. Our families need a better way of loving. We need a better way of loving, and Jesus’ way is it.
• Not “love when,” not “love because,” but “love regardless of.”
• Who do you need to love this way today? How will you love them this way?
• Here’s another thing I know: None of us are going to become better at loving by accident. It’s very unlikely that any of us will drift into becoming more loving people. The drift in life is always in the direction of ease and slothfulness.
• Let’s look at our final love dare challenge.
• SLIDE #9
V. Love Dare Challenge #6
• Remember that better love thinks about others more than self?
• SLIDE #10
1. Couples. Love your spouse in a way that is not self-seeking.
• For the next week, focus on this point and put your spouse first. Each time you make a decision that affects your mate, set aside your needs and make the choice that is best for your him or her.
• Pray for God to give you guidance and encouragement in this area. You might even want to find a good way to remind yourself of your challenge to not be self-seeking.
• You could wear a colorful wristband that will remind you during the day, or you could put a sticky note in an area where you will see it frequently.
• Couples, will you take this challenge to love better and to love selflessly?
• SLIDE #11
2. Singles. Love others in a way that is not self-seeking.
• Pick one or two people who are close to you and with whom you interact on a regular basis.
• Then, your challenge is the same—for this week, make every decision in a way that sets aside your needs and puts the other person’s needs first.
• Singles, will you take this challenge to love better and love to selflessly?
CONCLUSION
• I hope this series has been a blessing to you, I hope to see all of you at the vow renewal ceremony on December 6th at 6 p.m.!
• Work your way through the Love Dare book, you will be glad you did!
