Lord, is it I?
John 13:18-30
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s art work. As she came to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”
The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”
Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”
John tells us that anyone who has seen Jesus has seen God and he draws us a verbal picture of who God is in Jesus the Christ. But more than seeing God in Jesus, John also shows us many reactions to God by those who interacted with Jesus. From these we see ourselves.
Jesus says, “If you have seen me, you have seen the Father, and if any man rejects me and my words, he is rejecting God and God’s words. Anyone who accepts me, accepts the one who sent me.” As John unfolds the life of Jesus before us we have observed how the crowds reacted to him, and now in the privacy of this Passover feast, we see how his closest disciples reacted to him.
I just discovered something this week that I’m sure many others have seen for years, but it was new to me. John 13 has a certain construct that weaves together the characters of Judas and Peter. Both are disciples chosen by Jesus. Their names are the only names mentioned in this chapter besides Jesus. Both are going to renounce their confessions, Judas by betrayal and Peter by denial. Notice the order John presents them and how he tells about each.
First Judas in verse 2. Satan has influenced him to betray Jesus.
Then Peter in verses 6-9. Peter at first refuses to let Jesus wash his feet, then over compensates by asking for Jesus to wash his hands and head as well.
Next Judas again in 26-30. Judas takes the bread from Jesus and goes out to betray him.
Finally, Peter again in 36-38. Peter declares his loyalty and Jesus predicts his denial.
It looks like an intentional AB, AB construct. The purpose of this kind of construct is to draw special attention to Judas and Peter. While Satan was working on Judas, he was also given permission to sift Peter as wheat. Luke records a dialogue where Jesus tells Peter, “I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail, and when you return, strengthen your brothers.” Peter defensively declares, “I am ready to go to with you to prison or death.” Jesus tells him to his face, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” We will study more about that next week, Lord willing. But notice this today. After Jesus has washed the disciples feet and made that scalding statement to Peter, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” Jesus goes back to the table and explains his actions. He has given them an example to live by. Again, Jesus has called attention to their need to love each other and serve one another. Love will be a recurring theme in the chapters ahead. Now he has to clear the air about someone among them who is not weak, but is an enemy among them.
John 13:18 "I am not referring to all of you; I know those I have chosen. But this is to fulfill the scripture: ’He who shares my bread has lifted up his heel against me.’ 19 "I am telling you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe that I am He. 20 I tell you the truth, whoever accepts anyone I send accepts me; and whoever accepts me accepts the one who sent me." 21 After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, "I tell you the truth, one of you is going to betray me."
Let’s take some time now and try to hear what Jesus is saying. This is not the first time Jesus has alluded to Judas as a betrayer. Way back in Galilee after the feeding of the 5000 recorded in John 6: 70 Then Jesus replied, "Have I not chosen you, the Twelve? Yet one of you is a devil!" 71 (He meant Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, who, though one of the Twelve, was later to betray him.) Jesus never calls him by name and points him out directly. He does something else that you would think would shake Judas to the core and make him repent.
Here we are at the end of Jesus’ ministry after Judas had already made a deal with the Jewish leaders. Luke 22:1-6 tells us that Judas has gone to them, agreed to betray Jesus, and was looking for the opportunity to hand Jesus over to them.
Now, Judas is eating the Passover with Jesus, and Jesus says, "I tell you the truth, one of you is going to betray me." What do you think Judas felt? Surely he knew he was committing a terrible sin. Here he is in the very presence of God’s Son and he even hears Jesus say, “I know what your doing, Judas. I know and you know.” But interestingly enough, no one else knew. In fact, I get the impression that when Jesus said these words, they were all searching their own hearts wondering if they themselves could be the betrayer. Matthew tells us that they began one by one to ask Jesus, “Is it I, Lord?” Jesus said, "He who dipped his hand with Me in the bowl is the one who will betray Me. (They had all probably dipped in that bowl). "The Son of Man is to go, just as it is written of Him; but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had not been born."
And then Matthew tells us that Judas himself asked Jesus, “Rabbi, Is it I?” And Jesus said to his face, “Yes, it is as you say.”
Judas, wake up! Is the darkness of sin so thick and deep that you are deaf to God’s words? Judas is one of the most troubling figures of the Bible. The Calvinists love him. He is put forth as evidence to prove their point that man has no choice in life. They would argue that God is in total control and Judas is just doing what he is assigned to do. The Bible tells us that Satan has prompted, or put it in the heart of Judas to do these things, John 13:2. He is forecast in the prophets as the son of perdition. Was Judas simply an actor in the play of life with a script that God wrote? To be honest with the Word of God, we don’t have all the answers to all the questions we’d like to know. But I know this: Peter and Judas both fell. Peter came back. Judas did not. It seems that these men are put together to teach us an important lesson in discipleship. The difference between Peter and Judas was a matter of the heart and will. The word of God penetrated Peter’s heart and shaped his will. Judas is like the hard path, the word of God never took root. We don’t know his motives for following Jesus, but we can say with certainty that he never knew Jesus. If he did, he forgot. Jesus will someday say to him, “I never knew you!” Judas may have said, “I know Jesus.” But he didn’t. Peter may have said, “I don’t know Jesus.” But he did.
John tells us special information that no other gospel tells. We pick up again in verse
22 His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. 23 One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. 24 Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, "Ask him which one he means." 25 Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, "Lord, who is it?" 26 Jesus answered, "It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish." Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas Iscariot, son of Simon. 27 As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him. "What you are about to do, do quickly," Jesus told him, 28 but no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. 29 Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the Feast, or to give something to the poor. 30 As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.
Eating together was a sign of fellowship. Today we have fellowship meals. But this meal was not only to express fellowship but also to commemorate the common roots in the deliverance of God for his people. It was a holy meal. From this meal, Jesus instituted what we do today in the Lord’s Supper. We take the bread and the cup in communion with God and each other. Just imagine eating with Jesus in the evening and then betraying or denying him before dawn. It was unthinkable! When we eat together it shows acceptance of one another. When John secretly asked Jesus who would betray him, he took a piece of bread and told John, “It is the one I give this bread to after I have dipped it in the dish.” Jesus extended the hand of fellowship to Judas in offering him this bread. Judas took the bread, but rejected the fellowship. Jesus told him to hurry and do what he was about to do. John says, “Satan entered him as he took the bread.”
We gather here to eat this same meal. The bread we eat represents Jesus body, the cup represents his blood. Is there a betrayer among us? Is there anyone who will deny Jesus among us? Just coming here to perform this service is no guarantee that we are loyal to Jesus or the church. But this is what we publicly proclaim when we gather here and perform these things. Jesus wants us to know him. He wants us to be loyal to him. He wants us to follow him with faith in our hearts and love in our lives. Jesus has called us together to teach us how to live. There may be Peters and Judases at the meal. But let us come together and worship with Jesus anyway. Let us drink deeply of his word and listen to his voice. And let us be humble enough to ask ourselves, is it I? And instead of being false like Judas or overconfident like Peter, let us humbly listen to Jesus and grow in our love and faithfulness in him.
