FEELINGS
INTRODUCTION: There is a lot of talk about feelings. There’s even a song called, ‘Feelings’. Sadly, there are some people whose faith can be described by the first line, “Feelings, nothing more than feelings.” Many of our decisions are based on how we feel at the time. You’ve heard the phrase, “If it feels good; do it.” Some people direct their lives by how they feel. “Just follow your heart”. But should we be putting so much emphasis on how we feel? Should we disregard our feelings altogether? Let’s see what we can find out about our feelings and how we should deal with them.
1) Our heart can’t be trusted.
· We’re taught to follow our heart. Whatever you feel in your heart is the way you should go. Whatever your feelings tell you is the right thing for you. But, we need to see that our heart cannot be trusted. Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”
· How is our heart deceitful?
a. It will distort reality. If I feel alone, I will convince myself that I am alone. If I feel like a loser, I’ll convince myself that I am one. If I feel unloved, I will convince myself that no one loves me, including God. We have the tendency to feed negative feelings to the point of making them reality. We can also distort reality by feeding our positive feelings. When we feel secure in our good deeds we convince ourselves that we’re right with God. When we do something good, our heart feels good. That’s not a bad thing, but when we put too much emphasis on those good feelings, we can distort reality. That will keep us from seeing that our acceptance before God isn’t based in deeds, it’s based in Jesus. Our heart can distort reality.
b. It will distort God’s will. When I use my heart to determine God’s will or approval I can be deceived. If we don’t line our heart up with God’s truth we’ll be in trouble. We will convince ourselves that our heart is God’s truth. That’s why it is deceitful. We will convince ourselves that what we want to do is God’s will when really it’s simply what we feel so strongly that we should do. Or, since we feel justified in our thoughts or actions we will convince ourselves that we’re undeniably correct in our thinking. There’s great danger in that. Prov. 14:12, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” I can be going along, thinking I’m right because my heart tells me so. But, I can really be unwittingly moving toward my own death. This shows me how dangerous it is to trust my feelings. “A Christian life based on feeling is headed for a gigantic collapse.” – Erwin W. Lutzer. I shouldn’t just follow my heart.
c. It will give us a false sense of security. Job 24:22-24. Feelings can give us a false sense of security. In our own power we feel secure. We convince ourselves that because of what we’ve accomplished we are secure. We view prosperity as security. But the reality is, in these things there is no real assurance. If we feel mighty in our own power, God will need to demonstrate his. God’s eyes are on our ways. Feelings of security can blind us to real danger. 1st Thess. 5:1-3. Many people feel secure based on how things seem at the time. But reality isn’t always determined by appearances. There can be the calm before the storm. We may feel secure with the Lord based on how we feel about ourselves. “I’m a good person”. “I’m ok, you’re ok, we’re all ok.” But, when we do that we are oblivious to imminent danger. If our security is based in feelings, we are in trouble.
· So, what do we need to do?
a. Trust in the Lord, not our feelings. Prov. 3:5&6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart (trust in the Lord, not yourself. In the Lord, not your feelings. I can trust my heart when my heart trusts the Lord). Lean not on your own understanding (don’t go simply by how you feel). In all your ways acknowledge him (we need to determine if how we feel lines up with God’s will). And he will make your paths straight (we won’t go wrong following the Lord’s path but when we follow our feelings, we are left regretting our decision). "Emotions don’t make a good engine. They only make a good caboose."-Robert AuBuchon. Have you ever heard someone say, “I don’t trust anyone but myself”? How is that dangerous? When I lean on my own understanding I tell myself that my instincts are never wrong. I convince myself that the little voice inside me is always telling the truth. So, when other people try to speak into my life, I won’t listen if what I’m telling myself is different. And then I go by my feelings and end up doing great harm to myself and others. Sometimes my instincts are correct. But the ironic thing is, when they’re wrong I don’t take proper notice of that and when a situation arises again I still feel I can trust my feelings. Proverbs 28:26, “He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.” The problem with feelings is that they change. I can feel one way about something today and differently about it tomorrow. What doesn’t change, however, is God’s truth. Therefore, we need to trust God’s wisdom, not our feelings.
b. Allow the Lord to reveal reality. When I feel like I’m alone in this world I need to remember the reality of what Jesus said in Matt. 28:20, “And surely I am with you always.” And when I feel abandoned I remember what God said in Heb. 13:5, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” When I feel like a failure, a loser, a nobody, I need to remember the reality of Psalm 139:14 where God tells me I am ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’. When I feel unloved I need to remember the reality of Rom. 5:8, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” God knows we have the tendency to act according to how we feel. We need the reality of God’s word to counteract our unrealistic feelings. God wants us to realize that so often how we feel isn’t what is real. That’s why we need to rely on God to show us reality in any given situation. Whenever we feel strongly about something we need to take it to the Lord. He knows the reality. We make snap judgments based on how things appear. We base reality on first impressions. Often times our strong feelings are wrong feelings. And if we make decisions based on those strong feelings, we can end up doing damage. ‘Dave Griffith is a licensed pilot. He has to refuse to trust his own instincts and emotions in a storm and instead trust the instrument panel. If he experiences vertigo his instincts can be wrong. Just as a pilot can get so jostled around that he loses his sense of up and down, we can get so jostled around by our emotions that we lose our sense of what we should do. We have an instrument panel that is more reliable than our own feelings; God and his word.’ No matter how solid we think we are about something, we need to allow the Lord to reveal reality.
c. Trust in the Lord for security. Psalm 112:1-9. Part of trusting the Lord is fearing the Lord (vs. 2). I will find security when I fear consequences to disobeying God. When I find great delight in his commands I will see that his commands are there for my benefit. When I abide by them and keep on the straight and narrow I will have security. I trust in the Lord to provide the wisdom that teaches me what will secure me. In the security of the Lord I will be blessed (vs. 3). I will be secure even in the darkness for the light of the Lord will shine (vs. 4). I will be secure even when letting go of things I think will bring security, like money (vs. 5). In the security of the Lord I will not be shaken (vs. 6), even when there is bad news (vs. 7). In the security of the Lord my righteousness will endure forever (vs. 9). We may feel there is security in things like money, investments or work, but as we have come to realize in today’s economy, what our hearts told us brought security really didn’t. Only the Lord can provide real security. The Lord not only provides security for this life, but for the next one too. Heb. 6:16-20. Our secure hope both now and forever is found in Christ.
2) “I don’t feel like it.”
· Sometimes our feelings drive us to do things we shouldn’t. Other times, our feelings prevent us from doing things we should. We avoid doing something because we don’t feel like it. “I’m just not feeling it.” I’m sure Jesus did some things he didn’t feel like doing. “Well, I’m not Jesus.” No, but that’s who we’re supposed to be like. Part of the Christian life as a servant of Jesus involves doing things that might not appeal to us. It involves things that will take us out of our comfort zone. Usually, when we don’t feel like doing something is when we need to do it the most. When we don’t feel like coming to church is perhaps the biggest reason why we need to be in church. I’m sure Jesus didn’t feel like going to the cross to pay the ultimate penalty for our sins but he did it. So, is it too much to ask for us to serve him when we don’t feel like it? We do other things when we don’t feel like it. We get out of bed and go to work when we don’t feel like it. So, why should a little headache or tiredness keep us from coming to church? Why should our aches and pains keep us from reaching out to people? Actually, we need to see how God views it. James 4:17, “Anyone, then, who knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.” If we don’t do what we know we need to do because we don’t feel like it, we are committing a sin. D. L. Moody once said, “Obedience means marching right on whether we feel like it or not. Many times we go against our feelings. Faith is one thing; feeling is another.” Feelings shouldn’t dictate whether or not we’re going to do what we need to do.
3) When are my feelings justified?
· Our feelings are justified when we feel for others. 2nd Cor. 11:28-29. Paul had deep concern for the church. He felt connected to them on a deep, emotional level. When someone is sad, we can be sad with them. When someone falls into sin, we can burn with passion to want to see them restored. We display our compassion toward others when we relate to how they’re feeling. Feelings are legitimate. We’re going to naturally display emotions based on situations and circumstances. We need to be sensitive toward others with what they’re going through so we can comfort them. Our feelings are justified when we feel for other.
· Our feelings are justified when they’re supported by truth. Appearances are often deceiving (the heart is deceitful above all things). We may convince ourselves that what we’re feeling lines up with God’s truth when it doesn’t. When we feel strongly about something we can even twist scripture to make it support how we feel. We take things out of context; we don’t look to see whether or not other scripture supports a certain passage. We will convince ourselves of the Holy Spirit’s confirmation. But we need to look at the unmistakable evidence. We need to humbly look at the scriptures in their context and in their accuracy. We need to listen to godly people who are trying to speak into our lives based on God’s word. When we feel a certain way about something we need to truly examine whether or not our feelings are substantiated. Is there any real evidence to support how I feel? Is there any validity for my feelings or are they loosely based in speculation? When our feelings are backed by God’s will and His word, they are justified.
· Our feelings are justified when they show a correct response to my actions. 2nd Thess. 3:14&15. When we experience consequences for our poor choices, there should be certain feelings associated with that. When we sin, we should feel shame. This is a good thing. If there are no feelings of remorse, we are in trouble. Having no feelings indicate a cold heart. I should feel sad when tragedy strikes. I should feel happy in a positive situation. I should feel passionate about my relationship with Jesus. Where you have no emotions you are disconnected from life. Our feelings are justified when they show a correct response to my actions.
CONCLUSION: Feelings can be legitimate and necessary. But we have to be careful that we’re not directing our lives based on our feelings. We need to have godly reactions to our feelings. If we let our feelings get out of control we are going to make foolish choices that we’ll regret later. In any given situation we should recognize and identify with how we’re feeling, just so long as we’re not removing logic and reason from the equation. This poem is attributed to Martin Luther. “Feelings come and feelings go, and feelings are deceiving; My warrant is the Word of God, Nothing else is worth believing.” God’s truth is what will determine reality, not my feelings.
