SUPERNATURAL #14: KEYS TO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
INTRO: Last week, we took a look at Paul’s first missionary journey from Antioch.
• This was the first time I preached ‘from the maps’ – it was fun!
• We looked at the journey Paul took with Barnabas and John Mark. But when they came to Perga in Pamphylia, John departed from them, and returned to Jerusalem (Acts 13:13).
• This week, I want to look at what happened after this missionary journey had ended.
OPENING TEXT:
“Then after some days Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us now go back and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they are doing." Now Barnabas was determined to take with them John called Mark. But Paul insisted that they should not take with them the one who had departed from them in Pamphylia, and had not gone with them to the work. Then the contention became so sharp that they parted from one another. And so Barnabas took Mark and sailed to Cyprus; but Paul chose Silas and departed, being commended by the brethren to the grace of God. And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.” (Acts 15:36-41).
• Contention = paroxysm – violent, hostile, angry. “Tempers flared.” (The Message).
• Paul was one of the greatest preachers in the early church, and yet he wasn’t perfect.
• Paul gave up on Mark who had deserted them and wouldn’t give him a second chance!
• But thank God for Barnabas, the son of the encouragement, who believed in John Mark.
THE BIG IDEA: Relationships are one of the most important aspects of the kingdom of God. Therefore, we need to learn these key principles from God’s Word to have healthy and loving relationships with one another.
KEY TEXT:
“Jesus said to him, "’You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ’You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matt. 22:37-39).
• The two most important things we can learn to do are love God and love people.
• MEN’S MINISTRY BREAKFAST YESTERDAY: Discuss sharing – teary time!
• Because love is so important, the enemy will do whatever he can to get us in strife.
• So – we will have disagreements with one another. But how do we respond to them?
ILLUSTRATION: WHAT’S THE SOLUTION?
"Here’s the scenario," the truck driving instructor announced to his class. "You’re in an 18-wheeler with a heavy load, barreling down a mountainous two-lane highway. Your co-driver, Ed, is asleep. There are six trucks behind you, and as you come over the top of a hill, they pull out beside you to pass. Suddenly, you see several trucks coming in the opposite direction, pulling into your lane to pass. What do you do?"
"That’s simple," a student called out. "I’d wake up Ed." "Why would you do that?" asked the instructor. "Because," replied the student, "Ed ain’t never seen a truck wreck like this before!"
PAUL’S KEYS TO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS:
1. BE PATIENT:
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.” (1 Cor. 13:4-5).
• If someone does something wrong to you, FORGET ABOUT IT!
• “Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” (Eph. 4:2).
• People will make mistakes and hurt and offend you – be patient – love is patient.
2. DON’T BE ANGRY:
“And "don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you." Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil.” (Eph. 4:26-27).
• Anger is dangerous! When you are hurt or offended by someone, and hang onto your anger, it can turn to bitterness.
• “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.” (Hebrews 12:14-15).
• Sometimes (see Paul and Barnabas), separation is preferable to continued disagreement.
3. WATCH YOUR WORDS:
“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” (Eph. 4:29).
• The Bible has a lot to say about our words! We DO NOT have the right to say something negative about another person – either to them, or about them!
• “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (Prov. 18:21). *Hurt people hurt people
• Thumper’s mom said: “If you can’t stay anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
4. CHOOSE TO FORGIVE:
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Eph. 4:31-32).
• The alternative to anger = to be kind, and FORGIVE!
• “Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” (Col. 3:13).
• “And above all things have fervent love for one another, for "love will cover a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8). Extend grace! Treat them the way you want to be treated!
ILLUSTRATION: REMEMBER THE DUCK:
A little boy visiting his grandparents was given his first slingshot. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit his target. As he came back to Grandma’s back yard, he spied her pet duck. On an impulse he took aim and let fly. The stone hit, and the duck fell dead. The boy panicked.
Desperately he hid the dead duck in the woodpile, only to look up and see his sister watching. Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch that day, Grandma said, "Sally, let’s wash the dishes." But Sally said, "Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen today. Didn’t you, Johnny?" And she whispered to him, “Remember the duck!” So Johnny did the dishes.
Later Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing. Grandma said, "I’m sorry, but I need Sally to help make supper." Sally smiled and said, "That’s all taken care of. Johnny wants to do it." Again she whispered, "Remember the duck." Johnny stayed while Sally went fishing. After several days of doing both his chores and Sally’s, finally he couldn’t stand it. He confessed to Grandma that he’d killed the duck. "I know, Johnny," she said, giving him a hug. "I was standing at the window and saw the whole thing. Because I love you, I forgave you. I wondered how long you would let Sally make a slave of you. (Richard Hoefler, Will Daylight Come?).
PROVERBS KEYS TO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS:
“A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.” (Pr. 16:28).
“A gossip tells secrets, so don’t hang around with someone who talks too much.” (Pr. 20:19).
“Fire goes out for lack of fuel, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.” (Pr. 26:20).
• Gossips are troublemakers who destroy friendships.
• God COMMANDS us: DO NOT hang around with people who gossip!
• NOTE: “If someone will gossip TO you, they will also gossip ABOUT you.”
• Make a commitment to never say something negative about someone again.
• Unity is so important to the health and success of the church – and all our relationships: “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious anointing oil…For there the Lord commanded the blessing.” (Ps. 133).
KEYS TO DEAL WITH OFFENSES:
1. Talk to God about it first in prayer. Pray that God would heal your brokenness.
2. If you feel you need to talk to that person about it, Jesus tells us how to do that: “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” (Matthew 18:15).
3. DO NOT talk to someone else about it!
Another key = always “T.H.I.N.K.” before sharing something with another person:
• T Is it True?
• H Is it Helpful?
• I Is it Inspiring?
• N Is it Necessary?
• K Is it Kind?
CLOSING: “Aristarchus my fellow prisoner greets you, with Mark the cousin of Barnabas (about whom you received instructions: if he comes to you, welcome him)… These are my only fellow workers for the kingdom of God… they have proved to be a comfort to me.” (Col. 4:10-11).
• This letter was written during Paul’s first Roman imprisonment, around 61 AD.
• “Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for ministry.” (2 Tim. 4:11).
• This letter was written when Paul was in prison, near his death, about 66 AD, and his heart towards Mark had changed. He was useful = helpful (NLT), profitable (KJV).
• John Mark went on to write the Gospel of Mark around 67 AD.
CLOSING PRAYER: For wisdom and grace to walk in healthy, loving relationships.
Take your hurts and offenses to the Cross and receive healing and forgiveness!
Beausejour Community Church Website: www.beausejourchurch.ca
Pastor Chris Jordan’s Blog: http://thelandofpromise.blogspot.com/
* Visit our website for downloadable printable notes.
