I came across an article in the paper this week that had the heading ’Mother’s Love and Determination’. And the sub title ’Refusing to give up, Cynthia Teare helped her son to walk again’. It caught my attention because our theme today is ’Love is... determined’.
And it’s the story of an 11 year old boy called Connor and his mother Cynthia. When Connor was just a toddler his muscles began growing increasingly rigid, and it became harder and harder for him to move. He went from leg braces, to a walker, and finally, by the time he was five years old he was in a wheelchair.
He said, "I tried to walk like the other kids ... but I just couldn’t do it." His mother, Cynthia as all mothers would do, took him to a million different doctors but not one of them could figure out what was wrong. She said, "I was scared, and I was frightened and I was trying not to let him see that I was frightened. But inside... the biggest thing was we didn’t know what it was. Nobody knew what he had.
Some of the doctors, told her that there may never be an answer, but, she said, "I couldn’t settle for that, I refused to accept that". So she spent hour, after hour, day after day, week after week, moth after month, year after year, painfully scouring the internet for answers. And then one day she came across an exceptionally rare disorder that she thought might explain Connor’s condition. And she wrote a letter to Dr Irwin Jacobs who is a prominent pediatric neurologist.
He said that her letter left him stunned. He said, "I mean, here’s somebody suggesting a disorder, and I’ve never seen this disorder". It’s called Dopa Responsive Dystonia and it disrupts how the brain communicates with muscles in the body. Even though Connor did not have some of the classic symptoms of this condition, Dr Jacobs agreed to give him the appropriate medication to see if it would help.
Within days, Connor¡¦s condition started to improve. Slowly, his muscles began moving more easily. He could hold on and walk a few steps, and get in and out of chairs, things he hadn’t been able to do in years.
He said, "I was sitting in the chair in the kitchen one day and ... I feel like I can stand, I start holding onto the furniture and I start walking." His mum said, "By the second day ... he stood at the kitchen sink and washed his hands, standing. That was monumental."
Today, Connor spends his free time on the basketball court shooting hoops, thanks to daily medication and one determined mother. She did for her son what a dozen doctors could not; she found a way to free her child from years in a wheelchair.
"I think she deserves all the credit," Dr Jacobs said. "Had she given up at any time ... had she not been so insistent about trying to find a reason why her son had this difficulty, Connor would still be in a wheelchair."
Love always...
Over the past few weeks we¡¦ve been looking at various aspects of this thing we call love. We’ve looked at the loving church, we’ve looked at love as a command, love being the greatest, last week we saw that love is forgetful, and today we see that Love is determined. Love does not give up no matter what is faces, no matter the obstacles in its path, no matter what those around you might be saying love does not give up it is determined.
The Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:7, says, that love ’always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. And I do like that word ’always’ 99 times out of 100 is very good, but it’s not always. Almost is very good,but it’s not always. Nearly is very good, but it’s not always. Most of the time is very good, but it’s not always.
’Love always protects, it always trusts, it always hopes, it always perseveres’. And this morning I just want to take each one of these ’always’ and look at it in a little more depth.
1. Love always protects.
This word protect comes from a greek word (ste-go) meaning ’to cover’. It is related to the word for roof - a covering that offers protection to the house and all who live within it from all the elements that the weather might throw at it. I Peter 4:8 says that ’love covers a multitude of sins’. That is precisely the meaning here. Love protects other people. It doesn’t broadcast bad news. It goes the second mile to protect another person’s reputation.
Ruth and Boaz
There’s a wonderful story in the Old Testament about a young girl called Ruth. Ruth was not an Israelite by birth,she was a Moabite. But she has married into an Israelite family who had moved to Maob during a severe famine in Israel. But when both her father-in-law and her husband died she decided that she would return with her mother-in-law (Naomi) to Bethlehem. And in order to support her mother-in-law and herself, she goes to the fields to work. The field she goes to belongs to a man named Boaz, who happens to be a close relative of Naomi’s husband. Now that made him, what is known as a kinsman redeemer, and as a kinsman redeemer he had certain responsibilities to the family of his dead relatives. The Kinsman redeemer was a near relative who acted as a protector of the family rights. He could be called upon:-
(1) to buy back property that the family had mortgaged
(2) to provide an heir for a deceased brother by marrying that brother’s wife and producing children with her.
(3) to purchase freedom if they were in slavery.
And so at the end of the harvest Naomi tells Ruth to go to Boaz at night when he is asleep. And she slips quietly in beside him and when he wakes up and asks who she is she says, ’I am your servant Ruth. Spead the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman redeemer’.
Ruth asks Boaz to ’cover her’ and in that culture the meaning was clear - Ruth was already under God’s protection - now she was asking to come under Boaz’s protection through marriage.
It’s a similar picture in the Exodus when God instructs Moses to tell the Israelites to take lambs blood and put it on the sides and tops of the door frames to their houses. And when the angel of death passes over and sees the blood on the doorposts no harm will come to those inside, because the covering of blood will give protection.
And in the same way this love that the Apostle Paul is talking about here in 1 Corintians Chapter 13 always provides a covering of protection. Love always seeks to protect other people. Always seeks to cover up. But cover what?
Well for starters it covers up your mouth, it keeps you from saying too much too quickly. I’m sure we all know people who suffer from engaging their mouth before they’ve engaged their brain. But love doesn’t point out every flaw of the ones you love. Neither does it criticize people in public. And that is perhaps Paul’s primary meaning here, that love doesn’t do its dirty laundry in public for all the world to see.
It also covers up a critical eye. It allows you to look at your friends or parents or whoever through a telescope rather than a microscope. It allows you to take the big view rather than looking for all the little faults. And instead of parading the failures and faults of others before the world, love covers them over and continues to love in spite of those things!
Love also covers up hurts and pains and burdens and sorrows in order to protect and shield and comfort the other person.
Love always protects.
2. Love always trusts.
There is a story of a father who took his young son and stood him on top of the dining table. He took a step backwards, and encouraged the little fellow to jump into his arms. "Don’t worry, I’ll catch you," the father said confidently. And after a little coaxing, the little boy finally made the leap. When he did, the father stepped back and let the child fall to the ground. He picked his son up, dusted him off, and dried his tears.
"Let that be a lesson," he said sternly. "In this world don’t ever trust anyone."
When our James was learning to drive, and I used to take him out in the car, I used to say to him. ‘There is only one thing you need to remember when you’re driving – TRUST NO-ONE!’
But the Apostle Paul says that ‘Love always trusts’.
Now when it comes to trust, there are three kinds of people. On the one side is the gullible person, who believes everything. On the other side is the cynic, who believes nothing. And then in between there are the wise people, those who carefully weigh everything up.
But Paul says that love "always trusts." Well if love always trusts then surely that would put us into the gullible category! And if I am honest I have to say that Christians can be amongst some of the most gullible people I know. Taken in by every scam, every sob story. But can I just say, gullibility is not a godly virtue!
Love always trusts not because it is gullible but because it is willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. It is always ready to believe, always takes people at their highest and best - not at their lowest and worst.
One day, a father and son were out walking in the country, and the young boy was amusing himself by climbing around in some cliffs. Suddenly the father heard, "Hey Dad! Catch me!" and as he turned round he saw his son already hurtling through the air toward him. The dad became an instant circus act, performing all sorts of twists, and spins, and manoeuvres to get to his son in time and eventually catching him. And they both fell to the ground.
Once the father had caught his breath he gasped in exasperation: "Joe, Can you give me one good reason why you did that???" And the boy responded with remarkable calmness: "Because you’re my Dad."
Love always trusts!
3. Love always hopes.
Hope – now there’s a word! In a world filled with hope-lessness and despair - love always hopes. In the middle of economic downturn, disease epidemics and threatened pandemics, in a world filled with war and hatred and riots, hunger and suffering – love always hopes. Love’s hope comes through faith in Jesus Christ believing that he is triumphant over all hurts and pains and problems. And filled with this hope, love gives a person courage to live today and to face tomorrow no matter what happens!
That’s why we’ve just had that new banner made for our church ’There is HOPE, and His name is JESUS’. It’s an important message in an ever increasing hopeless world.
The Prodigal
And there’s no better picture of a love that always hopes than the story of the prodigal son. We looked at it briefly last week. The son who rejects his father, rejects his family, rejects his upbringing. Takes his share of the wealth and goes in search of the bright lights, the parties, the freedom to live life as he chooses. How it must have broken his father’s heart.
But every day that the son is gone, the father goes out to the roadside and he looks, and he waits, and he longs, and he hopes for his son to return. Now we don’t know how long the son was gone. Might have been days, or weeks, or months, or even years. But everyday the father is there, hour upon hour, waiting, watching, longing, hoping. And how do we know that? Because when the son finally does return it says that his father saw him coming while he was still a long way off. And for him to see him coming from a long way off – then he must have been there looking, watching, waiting, hoping – because love always hopes.
Leave a light on
Rob Parsons tells the story of an elderly lady who lives in a village, in a big house, all on her own. And every night, as darkness falls, she puts a light on in the attic. She and her son had had an argument and he had left home 25 years ago and had never returned, never been in touch, not so much as a Christmas card or birthday card. But she has never given up hope that one day he will come home. And Rob Parsons says, ‘we all know that house very well, and although the bulb must occasionally need replacing, no-one has ever seen that house without a light on. It is for her son.
What a picture – love always hopes. It always expects the best possible outcome. It refuses to accept failure. Love always holds out hope that things will work out right in the end.
Love always hopes!
4. Love always perseveres
Finally, love perserveres. Persevere is a military term and means to hold a position at all costs, even unto death. The battle may be lost but the soldier keeps on fighting to the very end! Love stands its ground and continues in spite of everything that can be thrown against it. It continues in spite of persecution. It bears the unbearable, it believes the impossible, it holds on to the incredible and it never, ever gives up.
You can ring my bell
In the seventeenth-century during the time of Oliver Cromwell, a soldier was condemned to die by execution at the ringing of the curfew bell. This soldier was engaged to be married to a beautiful young girl. And with tears, this girl pleaded with the judge and with Oliver Cromwell to spare his life. But it was all in vain. The preparations were made and the city awaited the signal from the bell at curfew.
The bell ringer, who was old and deaf, threw himself against the rope, as he had for years. He pulled it and pulled it and pulled it, not realizing that the bell was not making any sound. The girl had climbed to the top of the belfry, and had reached out, and had wrapped her body around the clapper, preventing the bell from sounding. Each time the bell ringer pulled the rope, she was smashed against the sides of the bell...but the bell was silent. Eventually, the clapper ceased to swing, and although she was battered and her body bruised and smashed and bleeding, she managed to climb down. Oliver Cromwell demanded to know why the bell had not rung. The girl arrived and told him what she had done. A poet recorded it for all time. This is what he said:
At his feet she told her story,
Showed her hands all bruised and torn;
And her sweet young face, still haggard
With the anguish it had worn;
Touched his heart with sudden pity,
Lit his eyes with misty light:
"Go, your lover lives," said Cromwell,
"Curfew will not ring tonight."
And the young man was set free.
The apostle Paul says ‘Love always perserveres’. It knows no limit to its endurance. It is the power to persevere through the most difficult of situations. It is the power to see good in every difficulty. It has the ability to endure persecution and to overcome problems.
It endures what cannot be endured because love always perserveres.
Conclusion
Love always protects; love always trusts; love always hopes and love always perseveres. And the love we are talking about here is not eros love – it’s not the kind of love that attracts you to your partner or your spouse. This is agape love – godly love, the love that we are called to have for one another as members of the body of Christ.
And to love like this doesn’t mean that everything will always work out the way you want. Love is often crushed, bruised and rejected. Loving others is risky business and it will make you vulnerable. Open to all sorts of pain and abuse.
But it is the love that we are called to have for one another because it is the kind of love that Christ has for us. It is the kind of love that brought him to this earth even though he was despised, beaten and rejected. It is the kind of love that held him to the cross, even while those he came to save stood around sneering, and mocking and jeering. It is the kind of love that, despite everything, cried out ‘Father forgive’.
Love, agape love, Christian love, the love that we are called to have for one another – is determined. It always protects; always trusts; always hopes, always perseveres. May God help us to become the loving people, and the loving community he has called us to be.
