INTRODUCTION
• SLIDE #1
• We are beginning a six-week series that could very well change your life! A couple of weeks ago we showed the movie “Fire Proof” on Sunday evening as a kick off for this sermon series.
• If you have yet to see the movie, I would encourage you to rent it. It is an excellent movie that is very moving to watch.
• According to the dictionary, “FIREPROOF” means, “CAPABLE OF WITHSTANDING OR PREVENTING DAMAGE BY FIRE.”
• Over the next 40 days, I want to give you principles and practices from the Bible that will fireproof your marriage, your friendships, and your relationships at work, school and play.
• Fire Proof is the story of a couple – Caleb and Catherine - whose marriage is breaking up. They’ve been together for seven years, but they’ve lost that lovin’ feeling, and things are going south quickly.
• Fireproof is the story of how this couple, with the help of God, put their marriage and their lives back together again.
• They struggle through the issues of forgiving, rekindling feelings for each other, breaking free of addictions and things that hold us back, and finding the love of God.
• We’re going to explore each of these themes over the next six weeks as we learn how to Fireproof our Relationships.
• Two of the messages in the series will cover marriage, the rest will cover issues that all of us deal with as we learn to love those around us. There will be something for everyone in this series.
• Today, we’re going to look at how to get along with members of the opposite sex. I hope by now you’ve noticed that men and women are different? Well, in the film, one of the first cracks that develops in Caleb and Catherine’s relationship comes from a challenge all men and women face, which is, “How do I relate to someone who is so different than me?”
• In this clip we’re about to show, watch what can happen if you expect your partner to be just like you.
• SESSION 1 VIDEO CLIP. CLICK LIKE A NEW SONG AFTER CLIP CLICK LIKE NEW SONG
• How many of you can relate to that!
• Open your bibles to Ephesians 5:21-33.
• This passage gives us some very practical advice.IN first passing you might not see the advice so I’ll read it, and then give you a few principles.
• In the ancient wisdom of God, the Apostle Paul says that men and women should be treated differently. Why? Because we are different. As I read this, see if you can identify how men are to treat their wives and women are to treat their husbands.
• There are three of principles here that, if you practice them, will help you to fireproof your marriage.
• SLIDE #1
• Ephesians 5:21-33 ( ESV ) 21submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.£ 28In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30because we are members of his body. 31£“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
• SLIDE #2
SERMON
Marriage works best when…
I. Both husband and wife give up their rights for the sake of the other.
• This thought comes to us from verse 21.
• SLIDE #3
• Ephesians 5:21 ( ESV ) 21submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
• That verb, “submit,” in the original text means, TO LINE YOURSELF UP UNDER, or, TO GIVE UP YOUR RIGHTS.
• Here’s what the Bible is saying: Men and women are to line themselves up under their mates in order to make the marriage work.
• Each one is to give up their rights and look out for the best interests of their partner. Do this and the marriage will work well.
• Line yourself up on top of or refuse to give up your rights, and the marriage won’t work well.
• Why is this principle essential? Because giving up our rights is an essential part of meeting each other’s needs.
• If my wife needs me to take out the trash, I submit, I line myself up under her. I give up my right to sit on the couch and watch the next point being scored or the next piece of action in the movie I’m watching.
• Conversely, if I am watching the game and need a sandwich she should line herself under me and LOVINGLY get me a sandwich! We are to submit to each other.
• How can we carry this out?
• SLIDE #4
• 1 Peter 3:7 ( ESV ) 7Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…
• Consider her needs. Consider her personality. Study your wife and figure out what enables her to grow and what brings out the best in her and when you’ve figured that out, do it.
• It cuts the other way also for the wives. Do the same!
• Men, imagine what would happen if your wife sat you down at a table tomorrow and said, “Honey, I’ve been making some demands of you, and I’m giving those up. I’m lining up under you. I’m giving up my rights to expect you to be who I think you should be.”
• Women, imagine what would happen if your husband sat you down at a table tomorrow and said, “Babe, I know there are some things you’ve needed from me and I haven’t been willing to line up with them. But starting today, I’m going to do my best to meet your needs, as I understand them.”
• Imagine what would happen if COUNTRIES would have the same attitude!
• Husbands, submit to your wife. Wives, submit to your husband. That’s principle #1 of a fireproof marriage. Because if we’ve each got the other’s back, then nothing can sneak up on us and no one can get between us.
• Husbands, you life should be about your wife, wives your life should be about your husband!
• I want you to see one more thing before we move on.
• Verse 21 tells us to submit to one another out of REVERENCE FOR JESUS! Even if your spouse does not deserve it, your LORD does! Submit our of respect for Jesus, it for Him!
• Let’s look at our second principle found in verse 33.
• SLIDE #5
• Ephesians 5:33 ( ESV ) However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
• Did you notice something?
• SLIDE #6
Marriage works best when we understand that…
II. There are differences and treat each other accordingly.
• This is another important principle; in verse 33 were the husband and wife given the same command? NO!
• What are husbands supposed to do? – Love their wives.
• What are wives supposed to do? – Respect their husbands.
• Does that mean that husbands don’t have to respect their wives? (No.) Does it mean that wives don’t have to love their husbands? (No.)
• You can’t love without respecting, and you can’t respect without loving.
• Because we are different, we have different ways of receiving what we need.
• Obviously men want to be loved, however; at the core of their being, they need to be respected by the one that matters most to us, or it’s very hard to compete in the world we live in.
• Likewise, while women want to be respected, they have a hard time fulfilling their life’s purpose unless they feel loved by the one who matters most to them.
• No matter how badly some in our society do not want to admit it, men and women are different, we operate different, and our needs are different.
• There are some very obvious differences between men and women. Men have thicker skulls, thicker skin, more red blood cells and more muscle tissue. Women tend to be more resistant to heat and cold and outlive men by several years.
• I have a personal example of the fact men and women look at things in a different light.
• STORY ABOUT CHINESE DINNER! I AM A DUMMY!
• This illustrates the thick skull principle
• Communication experts say that the average woman speaks over 25,000 words a day, while the average man speaks only a little over 10,000. What does this mean in marital terms? Very often a man has already used up his 10,000 words at work… while his wife is just warming up!” (Gary Smalley)
• These differences are what make marriage challenging – but they’re also what make life wonderful!
• Women, you’ve never been a man (I hope), so take this on faith: while we can be tough and sometimes rude on the outside, on the inside, there’s a puppy dog side to us that needs the one who matters most to us to believe in us.
• If we’re not the heroes of our homes, then we’re not going to be heroes anywhere else.
• If you’ve stopped respecting your man, think about what first attracted you to him, pray about how you can regain that sense of respect, make a list of things you need to do if it will help you, but decide that you are going to respect your husband once again and then get about showing it to him.
• For the men, we have a wonderful challenge.
• SLIDE #7
• Ephesians 5:25 ( ESV ) 25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
• Men, you’ve never been and will never be a woman. You’ll never go through monthly cycles or menopause. You’ll never have to – or get to – carry a baby around inside of you, or do any of those things that make women women. So, you’ll never really understand what it’s like to be a woman.
• Take this by faith: your wife needs to know that you love her. She needs to hear it from you, see it from you, feel it from you, receive it from you. And the way she receives it best will probably be a way that you have never studied or trained or prepared for.
• Because the way she receives love best is to have you listen to her. – Listen to her dreams and her feelings and her fears and her thoughts. If you will sit and listen, with full eye contact, and as much emotional engagement as possible, for 5 to 10 minutes a day, it will fill her more than you can know and reap more benefits for you than you can imagine.
• Now, when you listen to her, she does not want you to fix her. The way she gets fixed is to be empathized with. Men tend to listen for the problem to be solved.
• Your woman doesn’t want you to solve her problem, she wants you to care about her.
• If you had to take the second principle by faith, this principle may require even more faith. It comes out of v. 32.
• SLIDE #8
• Ephesians 5:32 ( ESV ) This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
• SLIDE #9
Marriage works best when you understand and remember that…
III. Something more than marriage is taking place.
• On a very deep level, marriage is a mystery. A mystery is something you cannot understand unless it is explained or revealed to you.
• See, long, long ago, something took place in the heart of God that you could not have known about unless He explained it.
• God, who had always existed in relationship as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, loved relationships. He loved them so much that He wanted more relationships. So He created us. He placed us on this planet and said, “grow.”
• But instead, our first parents, Adam and Eve, turned their backs on God. They ate what they shouldn’t have, and that causes a barrier in their relationship with God, since they’d rejected Him.
• God sent His Son in order that our relationship could be restored. We need to make Jesus the Lord of our lives so that be in a relationship with HIM!
• Jesus was that Son. He came, lived among us, showing us God’s love, and then died on our behalf, to pay for the sins we’d committed.
• His hope is that we’ll receive His dying act of love on our behalf, accept the forgiveness He offers, and come back into relationship with Him.
• If we’ll do that, the Bible says that we will not only live closely with Him for the rest of our lives here on earth, but we’ll be united with Him one day in heaven.
• United with him, like a bride to her groom.
• If we’ll receive God’s love, one day we’ll become the Bride of Christ.
• So if you are married, or plan to be married, treat your marriage carefully, sacredly. Give up your rights. Build it with fireproof materials like love and respect. Recognize that you will never fully understand all that is involved in a life-long commitment to a single spouse, and revel in the fact that you do not pretend to understand it.
• SLIDE #10
IV. Love Dare Challenge #1.
• It takes more than the feeling of love to make a marriage work. IT takes commitment, desire and hard work!
• I want to issue an assignment for all of you to work on this week.
• For the wives.
• SLIDE #11
1. Wives. What makes your husband feel respected by you? What will you do this week to make him feel respected by you?
• SLIDE #12
2. Husbands. What makes your wife feel loved? What will you do this week to make her feel loved by you?
• SLIDE #13
3. Singles. Whose life would you like to add value to by giving them greater love or respect? What can you do this week to make that happen?
CONCLUSION
• I do not know your situation, but if you are struggling it can change, are you willing to give it the effort you need to?
• We are going to have sessions each Sunday evening based on this our sermon series which is based on the book Love Dare.
• In the movie, Caleb and his wife were in dire straits, things can change!
• 40 Days can change your LIFE!
• CLICK TO VIDEO CLIP LIKE A NEW SONG!
