I looked for a MAN among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so that I would not have to destroy it, but I found none. Ezekiel 22 : 30
Did you ever wonder why we celebrate Father’s Day after Mother’s Day? I opt not to answer that question, for I might inadvertently create a chasm between two opposing groups – the male and female factions. But there is one thing I know, which I firmly belief all men would concur. To be a father is one of the most exciting and honorable stage of life that a man could attain. But, man, don’t you pitch your face up high with a grin of gender superiority. It is also laden with profound responsibilities that, when not fulfilled, would eventually demean your macho he-man image. All men can become fathers, whether through biological procreation or legal adoption. But not all fathers can be labeled "great fathers". It would take great men to make great fathers.
There are several essential prerequisites to becoming a great man, which would make a great father. A great man thinks like a man, talks like a man, and trades like a man. He thinks more than he talks and talks less than he trades. That’s my kind of a great man – a truly total man who would make a great father. The role of fathers is a primary ingredient of a healthy family. Many of our current social menaces stem from weak parenting, negligent and irresponsible fathers to be particular. Social research alarmingly reveals that a high percentage in the cases of juvenile delinquents, teen pregnancies, drug and alcohol abuse among teenagers are from broken families – families where a fatherly image is weak or absent. Men, let these social problems ring a bell. Let us go back to the standards of biblical parenting and become great fathers – so to speak. I would suggest three qualifications to become one.
Great fathers must be capable to lean. Self confidence is equally essential as our confidence on other people around us, especially within the enclave of our families and church fellowship. But all objects of our confidence must be embodied by our dependence on God, the source of our well-being. The wisest man that ever lived on this planet wrote, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and LEAN NOT on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5,6. The most important thing that a father can ever teach his children is to lean on God; first, for spiritual salvation; second, for mental and emotional strength; and third, for material supply. Our children would be able to understand as they see fathers live up to these truths. Great fathers admit their limited abilities and lean on the limitless power of God.
Great fathers should be courageous to lead. Fatherhood entails leadership – particularly family leadership. There is a God-ordained authority interwoven in the fabric of fatherhood. Parenting requires equipping from the Word of God. The apostle Paul wrote, after emphasizing the value of the inspired scriptures, "so that the man of God will be thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:17. Equipping without authority would end up useless and unfruitful. Authority without equipping would turn an institution into chaos. Fathers, there are two ways you can exercise your authorities. You can either become authoritarian or authoritative. The authoritarian father declares, "I am the man in this house, the head of this family, the bread-winner so everything I say becomes a law". The authoritative father declares, "I am the man in this house, the head of this family, the bread-winner so anything that serves for the common good becomes a law." The same is true in the church. Courage is only fomented by a balanced equipping and authority. Fathers should be courageous to lead their own flesh into submission to the conviction of the Holy Ghost. They should have integrity to lead their families into the service of God. They should have the guts to lead the fallen into faith in Christ for salvation and eternal life. Great fathers assume their God-given responsibilities and lead their own flesh, their families and the fallen according to the precepts of God.
Great fathers have to be committed to love. The apostle John wrote, "Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God… because God is love” 1 John 4:7,8. Love, in its original text, does not mean a fancy feeling. No. It is not seated in the emotion. It is something that is processed in the will of man, polished by the emotion and expressed by our actions and expressions. There are several primary objects of our love. First, let us love the heavenly father. Second, let us love our neighbor, which include our earthly families and other people. Let me further elaborate that. Let us also love the church fellowship.
In a courtroom a nineteen-year-old boy stands before the judge. His charges: rape, and two counts of second-degree murder. The jury has come up to a verdict and the judge ready to pronounce it. The judge, upon discovering that the accused is a son of a renowned lawyer, paused and looked to the defense table. The boy’s mother tensely seated behind two defense lawyers, waiting to hear the verdict. Her hands clasped under her chin and her lips muttered as if she is saying a prayer. There is no trace of the boy’s father. The judge threw a keen look at the boy’s eyes, took a deep breath and asked, "Son, what do you remember about your father?", expecting words of contrite repentance that would sound like the desperate words of the returning prodigal son.
The boy, his face paints a picture of hopelessness, answered, "Sir, I can still remember when I was about nine or ten years old. One Saturday morning, the weather was fine and our lawn has just been mowed, I ran to him in his study room. He was sitting behind his broad desk with around a dozen big books open. I walked to his side, grabbed his left hand and tried to drag him outside to our front yard to play foot ball with me. But he told me to call my friends in and play with them because he is having an important research work." "When I was about seventeen", the boy continued, "I slowly went into his study room one Friday night. As usual, he was sitting behind his broad desk. That time he was finger-tapping on his computer keyboard like a piano virtuoso. I gently asked him for a short while to express my self and have his intelligent fatherly advice. He reached into his pocket, took out his wallet, pulled out his gold credit card and handed it over to me. He told me to hang around with my friends that night and promised to spend with me an hour or two the following night. He said he was writing the final chapter of a book and would need to work overtime. So many nights have passed but I am still waiting for the promised one hour or two".
After the boy said those words, there was dead silence in the courtroom. You can even hear a pin drop. The boy, with his hands handcuffed at his back, you can see his arms festooned with colorful tattoos, drops his head and his unkempt long hair veiled his face. After a few seconds he looked up, his long hair partly covered his face, he said, "Sir, to you, my father is an excellent lawyer and a gifted author. To me, he is a lost father, and an out-of-reach friend." The judge, holding his breath, glanced briefly at the paper on his desk, grabbed the gavel’s handle and pronounced the verdict, "Reclusion Perpetua". The sound of the pounding gavel blended with the scream of a mother’s objection to the verdict was more than a fainthearted person can muster.
Fathers, we are not raising finances. We are raising families. We are not building cities. We are building societies. Great fathers affirm their commitment to love according to the principles of God. Only God can make great men and great fathers. Happy Father’s Day!
