Sincerely Yours – Revenge
Romans 12:17-20
August 30, 2009
Spider Man 3 Video Clip
It’s like a poison. It can take you over. Before you know it, it can turn us into something ugly.
Aunt Mae is talking about revenge and that’s what we want to discuss this morning and in our small groups this evening. To put it briefly, Paul is against it. Don’t take revenge, says Paul. Do not pay back evil for evil are his words. And Paul is not alone in this opinion. In this teaching he quotes from two passages in the Old Testament which gives the same advice:
Deuteronomy 32:35
It is mine to avenge; I will repay.
Proverbs 25:21-22
If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
22 In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.
Jesus also teaches against retaliation:
Matthew 5:38-42 (Sermon on the Mount)
38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’
39 But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.
41 If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.
42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
But we love revenge. Have you ever found yourself delighting in creating ways to back at someone who has wronged you?
We will even give considerable time being creative in our revenge:
The story is told of a soldier who was fighting over in Iraq who received a letter from his girlfriend that said she was breaking up with him. In the letter she also asked for him to return the picture of herself that she had given him, because she needed it for her bridal announcement. The soldier was heartbroken and told his friends about the breakup and about her request. Someone came up with this idea – the whole platoon gave him pictures of all of their girlfriends and told him to send them to his ex-girlfriend with this note – “For the life of me, I can’t remember which picture is yours, so please remove your picture from all of these pictures I’m sending and return the rest of them to me!”
There’s an expression – Revenge is Sweet
We love the idea of people who have hurt us getting theirs.
Driving, I’m annoyed by people who race up right behind you, flash their lights at you, you pull over so they can pass. As they pass I fantasize about them being pulled over for speeding and me laughing as I pass them.
Revenge is sweet but Paul says don’t do it. But why? Why not?
Well he gives three reasons:
Living lives of revenge can turn us into evil people
• Revenge often makes us do things that are wrong and therefore compromises our witness to the world.
Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
• Think of a time when you were most evil – it very well may have been a time when you were bent on revenge.
• So many times revenge is not limited to simply repaying but repaying plus a little extra.
• In fact that’s the thought in that OT passage eye for eye tooth for tooth.
• It wasn’t to encourage revenge so much as it was to limit the revenge you could take on someone.
• Revenge has led many a good person to do terrible things.
• Like Aunt Mae said, It’s like a poison. It can take you over. Before you know it, it can turn us into something ugly.
It does not lead to peace
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
• When has revenge ever brought peace?
• Someone punches you in the eye, you punch him back. When has it ever stopped at that? When has someone ever said, I deserved that. Fights over.
• Revenge becomes this vicious cycle.
• Someone said that if we lived by the rule eye for eye, tooth for tooth we’d all be blind and toothless.
• Revenge doesn’t lead to peace.
• Now sometimes peace is beyond our control. But we are called to be peacemakers, not vengeance takers.
It expresses a lack of faith in God’s justice
• It usurps God’s role
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
• These things need to be left up to God.
• There are so many factors that lead a person to commit any action – we are not qualified to make those decisions.
As we think about revenge in our lives, let’s approach it by asking ourselves these three questions:
Do we really want payback?
• Is that how we want to live life? Anytime we do something wrong the other person has the right to take revenge?
• There’s a little word in this passage that Paul uses to remind us that this is not how we want to live.
Verse 19
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath.
• My friends – the first person possessive “my” is not in the Greek text. It literally should read, beloved or loved.
• This can be used as a term of endearment, but perhaps Paul is reminding them and us that we are loved – by God. And that’s not on the basis of our goodness, but his mercy.
Romans 5:10
For if, when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!
Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
We don’t want to live a life of payback.
Illustration: An overbearing, obnoxious woman who was having her portrait done by a professional photographer. She complained and criticized through the entire session; and then when she looked at the proofs, she said in a very condescending way, “These pictures do not do me justice.” The photographer, who all of this time had silently endured her verbal abuse, said, “Madam, you do not need justice. You need mercy.”
Beloved, since you have been loved by God, since you have been the recipient of his mercy, since you have not experienced the revenge of God, then shouldn’t we extend some of that mercy as well. In fact, if grace has not changed the way we treat others then I wonder if it is really grace at all.
The Lincoln quote, "I don’t think much of a man’s religion, if it doesn’t change the way he treats his cat."
When has revenge worked for you?
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
Take thought – impulse versus contemplation/reflection/consideration
1. to perceive before, foresee
2. to provide, think of beforehand
a. to provide for one
b. to take thought for, care for a thing
Revenge is sweet
Man doesn’t it feel good to let the other person have it.
There is a great video clip from the movie You’ve Got Mail. The two main characters talk about zingers—the right comeback to someone’s hurtful remark. With zingers we like to seek revenge on others when they have hurt us.
Revenge is sweet but has a terrible aftertaste
James 1:19-20
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
Has revenge ever worked for you in the long run? Has it ever accomplished what you really wanted to accomplish? Has it ever brought about eh peace of God?
Think about the long term consequences before you act in revenge.
Where do I want to contribute: to peace or strife?
12:18
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
You are going to be treated unfairly, but when you are you choose whether to keep the strife cycle going OR to be a contributor to peace.
Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Matthew 5:9
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
James 3:18
Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.
Revenge does not bring about the will of God and although acting in peace doesn’t guarantee it, it at least opens up the love and mercy of God in another person’s life. Perhaps that what Paul mean later in this passage when he quotes from Proverbs saying
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
I’ve always thought that meant by being nice I’ll make the other person really mad and that will be my revenge. But actually that thinking seems to contradict the whole spirit of this passage. Another possible interpretation of that is that the burning coals represent a feeling of remorse at what they did to you. A feeling of remorse that may actually cause the person to consider their actions and perhaps even come to a different understanding of who they are. It will cause them to seek the underlying reason for our behavior. In fact the Talmud, a Jewish commentary on the OT, adds a comment to this passage in Romans – so they may become your friend. Paul is not saying let’s get them back by being good, but rather let’s use this hurt inflicted on us as an opportunity to demonstrate the same mercy and grace we have experienced from God.
Paul is really asking us to do something that is so counter to our nature. Something that is radical, but his is the call of the Christians life. Sincere love must demonstrate itself in actions that are inconceivable to the world. Jesus said they will know us by our love. It is this that will truly distinguish us from the world and enable us to make an impact on a world bent on revenge.
Practical Steps:
• When someone treats you badly stop and think before acting. (James 1:19-20)
• Do someone good to someone who has ridiculed your faith. (Colossians 4:4-6; 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12) Last week we talked about living in harmony with one another, brothers and sisters in Christ. This week is how we react to those who are not part of us. Shock someone by being nice to them.
