THE ORDERLY FAMILY
COLOSSIANS 3:17-21 & 23-25
INTRODUCTION:
A. Have you ever seen the Jerry Lewis movie "The Disorderly Orderly"
1. It’s a great comedy
2. Jerry just did not seem to be able to get things right - he was not very ordered.
3. It made for a good comedy in the movies, yet in life things are not quite as easy. You see
B. Our God is a God of order
1. Paul wrote the Corinthians in 1 Cor 14:40 saying, Let all things be done decently and in order.
2. In creation there is an order - a course - if you like and the earth, planetary bodies and heaven continue in them
3. When God gave Moses the instructions for the tabernacle there was an "order" everything had its place and when put together everything was placed in order
4. There is an order of beings: God, Angels, and man
5. There is order in the resurrection - For we read in 1 Cor 15:23 But every man in his own order: Christ the firstfruits; afterward they that are Christ’s at his coming.
C. So it should come as no surprise to us that the Lord would order the family.
1. The title of our message today is "The Orderly Family."
2. Our text is Col 3:17-21 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. 18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. 20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
D. We will look at two points
1. God’s Order
2. The Family Order
In beginning this morning I believe we must take the time to look at the context of our passage. As in all things context must be kept - it will guide us into the true meaning of the Scripture. So we begin with
I. GOD’S ORDER - Col 3:17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
A. This verse ends a lengthy oration of how Christians are to order their life
1. It begins with Col 3:1-3 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. 2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. 3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
a. Notice the preface - If ye then be risen with Christ: First there must be salvation - GIVE GOSPEL
b. Notice: seek - above & set affections above
c. As we look into the Orderly Family we must begin here
d. God gives us an order to set our sights on heaven and seek those things - be willing to do as the Lord commands and directs
e. For The Family Order to work each member of it, must take these words to heart - enforce them in their OWN life
2. The chapter then goes on to list things that should not be present in an individual Christian’s life (Col 3:5-9)
3. Paul continues on to tell us what the individual Christian should put on (Col 3:10-16)
B. This sets up our current verse - Col 3:17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
1. This has a direct impact on the words that follow - do all in the name of the Lord Jesus - wives, husbands, and children
2. The center of it all is the LORD JESUS CHRIST - If you take your mind and heart off of this, it will not work: anger, malice, envy, rebellion, disgust, resentment, selfishness, and many others will take up residency within the family.
3. The Family Order we will discuss is not easy to begin with, but it will be much harder if we leave this important principle behind. Therefore God’s order to us is
4. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. Col 3:17
Having set down the ground rules for this passage the Lord goes on to explain the
II. FAMILY ORDER - Col 3:18-20 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. 20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
A. We must make something clear from the start - the family ordered by God includes Husband -Wife - Children
1. Not Wife - Wife - Children; Not Husband - Husband - Children
2. Homosexuality - Sodemy is sin - it is not a biblical alternate life style - hence it does not provide a good home environment for children
3. For a good picture of God’s stand on homosexuality read Rom 1:22-32; 1 Cor 6:9-10; Lev 20:13
4. God does not tell us to hate homosexuals - but we must hate the sin of homosexuality -IT WILL DESTROY THE FAMILY!
So, what is the Family Order God has established, lets begin with the
B. HUSBAND/FATHER - Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Two commands are given here:
1. First, Husbands, love your wives
a. This word love is agapao - it is a continuous action verb - it is not an emotional love, it is a act of the will love - a covenant love
b. Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
c. Notice what love is: 1 Cor 13:4-7 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
d. The man who LOVES his wife will give himself for her: Outside of Christ there will be nothing that gains his attention, affection and his time before her
2. The second command is be not bitter against them.
a. We are not to be harsh with our wife
b. She is not our slave or concubine, Peter gives us this direction in 1 Pet 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
c. She is our "helpmeet" in doing the Lord’s will on this earth - our life-long best friend & partner. One in which we can place total trust and confidence in - one whom may pray for us when no one else can or will
d. Key - Selfless not selfish
e. Here is what God’s word says concerning our wives
- Prov 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
f. We would do well to dwell on this more than on the next, concerning our wives
3. As fathers we are not to “provoke” our children.
a. Col. 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
b. This word provoke means to irritate by nagging or putting them down
c. In his commentary on Colossians Pastor, Bible teacher and author, John MacArthur, lists 10 ways parents, fathers in particular, can provoke their children – I want to give them to you for you to consider
1) Overprotection
2) Showing favoritism
3) By Not listening to them
4) Setting unrealistic goals
5) Failing to show affection
6) Not providing for their needs
7) Lack of standards
8) Criticism
9) Neglect
10) Excessive discipline
d. As parents/fathers, we need to love our children as Christ loves us and not provoke them to anger, that is to lose heart.
e. The second part of the Family Order is the
The second part of the Family Order is the
C. WIFE - Col 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
1. The wife who has a husband as stated above will have little trouble submitting unto him - If she knows, from experience, that her husband is ALWAYS looking out for her best interest, it is easier to submit.
a. Husbands, do you know why our wives rebel against this submission?
b. It is usually because we tell our wives to "submit the Bible tells you to" or "you heard the preacher, submit!" And we do so when there is something we want - selfishness - SIN!!!
c. Husbands we should never use this verse to gain our selfish way - John MacAuthor put it this way, "God designed that a wife’s submission operate within a context of love. In that way she is protected because a man who truly loves his wife would never force her to submit to something humiliating, degrading or that violates her conscience."
2. Ladies, the Scripture does say submit, however.
a. Eph 5:22-23 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
b. The Scripture goes on to say, as it is fit in the Lord.
1) God’s desire is that you submit unto your husband
2) To be right with the Lord, you must be submissive - he is the head and will be accountable for his leadership!
3. Misconception concerning "submission:" It does not imply inferiority
a. Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
b. It is a matter of order - one person in charge - God set up the order not mankind!
c. You see in the garden following the fall the Lord said, Unto the woman, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Gen 3:16
4. The Scripture says, Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
The Family Order: Husband, Wife and
C. CHILDREN - Col 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
1. The Book of Ephesians says it this way, Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
a. Young people do you know what this commandment is? Do you know what the promise is?
b. Turn to the book of Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
2. Children/young people the Lord allowed you to have parents for a number of reasons
a. First, they were needed for your conception
b. Second, they are older and have some experience in the things of life - they are neither ignorant nor stupid
c. Third they were given that you might have protection
- Touching the hot stove; playing in the street; etc.
d. Fourth, they are to teach you the things of God
- Eternal salvation - love - peace- and the like
3. If you honor your parents by obeying them, there is a great possibility you will live longer – have better lives. They say things like:
a. Don’t drink - to help you live longer
b. Don’t get into a car with someone who has been drinking - to help you live longer
c. Be in by a certain time - more evil happens at night, under darkness, than at any other time - to help you live longer
d. Don’t fornicate - to help you live a better life and live longer
4. Your parents are not tyrants ruling over you with an iron fist - they worry about you - a lot - these are evil times we live in
- 18 years of honor and obedience to your parents will give you longer, healthier, and a more productive lives
5. How serious is the Lord about this honor and obedience
a. Turn to Exo 21:17 And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.
b. By honoring their mother and father they literally lived longer
c. Think about it - you will not be put to death - but this how grevious a sin rebellion is to God
d. God says, Col 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
6. Obey for your sakes!
CONCLUSION:
A. The family that is ordered the way the Lord would have it to be will be a much happier family
- Notice Col. 3:23-25 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.
B. The Invitation:
1. Husbands - Do you love your wives as Christ loved the Church?
2. Wives - Do you submit to your husbands?
3. Children - do you obey your parents?
THE ORDERLY FAMILY WILL BE A GODLY FAMILY WITH INFLUENCE ON FAMILIES AROUND THEM!
WILL YOU BE AN
ORDERLY FAMILY?
