How can we love ourselves
Things we don’t like about ourselves
Tattoos
People don’t like my preaching
I intentionally hurt another person
Other person intentionally hurt me
I’m overweight
I’m out-of-style
Psychologists say that everyone of us has things that we keep hidden from the outside world
• We by human nature show the world what we believe the world wants to see
• And the rest of our baggage we keep locked away deep inside of us.
• And we very rarely if ever let anyone see this baggage
This baggage is stuff that hurts.
• The stuff that we’ve been told isn’t normal,
• The stuff that isn’t healthy to show to others.
• It’s the stuff we’re ashamed of.
• It’s the stuff that we hide, because it represents a part of ourselves
• That we don’t want anyone else to see.
As you might imagine, this may become a problem.
• While it’s healthy to keep somethings to ourselves
• And to evaluate it and deal with it on our own
• To much baggage is a bad thing because we can only hold so much.
• If we try to stuff to much baggage in to small of a bag it’s going to explode
What we learn about Jesus is that He did everything, out of love for us.
• And He instructs us to
Mark 12:31 “You shall love your neighbor as yourself…”
• But what happens when I don’t love myself.
• What happens when all that baggage that I have been stuffing in my suitcase explodes and I start suffering a critical melt down?
• What happens when my suitcase gets so full that I don’t have any room for anyone else.
The good news is that God loves us.
10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.11 Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. 1Jo 4:10-11
Then only a few verses later starting in v. 19 it says, “
19 We love each other because he loved us first.20 If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? 21 And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.
What it seems like is if we want to unload all this extra bagage,
• We need to first to recognize that God loves us.
• Then and only then we can “love ourselves
• Which will allow us to love others,”
• This is the message that we learned in VBS so many years ago in the song “Jesus loves me
• Remember the words “Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak, but He is strong.”
When we accept God’s love in its truest form,
• We realize that it’s not us that makes the difference.
• But it’s God’s love living inside us that allows us to feel accepted.
26 I have revealed you to them, and I will continue to do so. Then your love for me will be in them, and I will be in them.” John 17:26
When we recognize God’s love in us…4 things happen
1. We can forgive and be forgiven,
2. We can attempt to make what was wrong, right
3. We can let God’s love soothe all our hurt and pain that we’ve experienced.
4. We can completely understand that God loves you.
No matter what we’ve done or haven’t done.
No matter what we said or didn’t say.
No matter whom we’ve hurt…even if it is ourselves….
God still loves us
When we understand God’s love for us,
• We can begin to look at ourselves differently.
ILUS. – There’s a story of a two-and-a-half year old who was sitting politely at the dinner table, trying his hardest to eat and talk like the grown-ups. “Please pass the salt,” he siad slowly and deliberately. It was passed. “Thank you,” he responded, and sprinkled just a little on his food. Then he blinked and said in a soft, astonished voice, “I…did that…rather…well!”
What would happen if we took time everyday to tell ourselves that we did something well.
Now, I know, there is the flip side.
3 Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this
warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of
yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. Romans 12:3
Sometimes it seems like we rewrite the golden rule to read,
• “Do unto ourselves as we think it should be done to others.”
• But Jesus instructed us to “love your neighbor as we love ourselves”
• This shows us that we should respond to others as we hope that others will respond to us.
• Nobody likes it when they get their head ripped off and just chewed up onside and down the other
• So why would we think others like this kind of treatment when we do it to them?
• When we treat others with the common courtesy that we hope to receive
• We are actually loving God, because the good quality we love is a reflection of God himself in us.”
When we carry God’s love with us,
• There are times when we can say, “With God’s help, I did that rather well.”
• We can love ourselves because God loves us.
Loving Others
• Once we’ve put things in the proper perspective,
• We can see the enormous amount of love that God has to share with the world.
Then we can truly love others.
16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. Ephesians 3:16-18
And in that same book,
Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. 2 Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Ephesians 5:1-2
We all hunger for approval
• We want to be noticed, appreciated, respected, and loved.
• We want it from our peers and our parents.
• But We especially want this approval from our father.
Approval when it is withheld
• Creates a huge vacuum inside us
• The place that aches for a kind word, a gentle smile, or a pleased look.
When we get older and our parents are gone
• We find ourselves still hungry, seeking approval, wanting affirmation, loving the applause, thirsty for acceptance.
• All of this, and more, because we hunger for the approval of a loving parent.
Approval is not a bad thing to hunger for
• But the problem is for a lot of people
• Is that we are seeking approval from people who are incapable of giving it.
These people aren’t normal.
• They’re broken people who have been damaged by life.
• The truth is they aren’t normal and neither are any of us.
• There are no normal people.
• We’ve all been damaged by life.
• But at the same time there are some who are more messed up than others
FREMONT, Calif. -- Two men who met at an anger-management class got into a brawl that killed a chicken and trashed a van while working on a home-improvement project together.
ELMIRA, N.Y. -- A man shot a next-door neighbor for mowing his lawn too often.
No one is really normal
So The question then becomes…
• Can we ever get the approval we seek?
• And the answer is Yes,
• But only if you go to the one who can give it.
God Satisfies the Hunger for Approval
• This is where Jesus got the approval
• That gave Him the stability and strength to do
• What His father sent him here to do – die for our sins.
• This is where we receive our approval
• This is what brings the peace inside us
• The peace that allows us to rest in God’s approval.
So how do we satisfy the hunger for approval?
14 So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son. 15 John testified about him when he shouted to the crowds, “This is the one I was talking about when I said, ‘Someone is coming after me who is far greater than I am, for he existed long before me.’ ”16 From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another. 17 For the law was given through Moses, but God’s unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ. John 1:14-17
32 Then John testified, “I saw the Holy Spirit descending like a dove from heaven and resting upon him. 33 I didn’t know he was the one, but when God sent me to baptize with water, he told me, ‘The one on whom you see the Spirit descend and rest is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.’ 34 I saw this happen to Jesus, so I testify that he is the Chosen One of God. John 1:32-34
Jesus received approval from God
• This is my son! I’m proud of him.
• Who here today wouldn’t love to hear these words!
• We want our fathers to be proud of us!
• Jesus had God the Father approval – There’s no question about it.
Jesus, was a chip off the old block.
• Jesus was from God and at the same time He was God.
• Jesus had two characteristics that are mentioned in particular in this passage.
• He was full of grace and truth
This is a strange combination!
• These two things aren’t the same
• They’re opposites.
• Grace and Truth.
• Yet, Jesus was able to pull both of them off
• And it was pleasing to the Father God.
• The Spirit of approval came upon him.
• First: Grace
We often define grace as undeserved favor.
• That is we get something good and beneficial which is not deserved.
• This definition is only true with respect to humankind. (People)
• In Jesus’ case grace is the favor or gifts of God,
• Which were given to Him by the father –
• All of these things He deserved.
• The discernment, the wisdom, the trust, and the power – all of God himself was in him.
Truth
• What is truth? Now there is a question for the ages.
• Only God knows the truth.
• God sees not only the unvarnished facts and the unwavering vision
• But he also knows the circumstances and the realities.
Jesus had a handle on truth when it comes to people.
• God’s Approval of Jesus came because he was full of grace and truth!
• Jesus was full of God’s favor and he was full of God’s wisdom.
What made Jesus pleasing to the father
• Was his willingness to see the truth in us (good and bad)
• and to extend to us the favor of God –
• Because this was God’s plan from the very beginning
• This tells us so much not only about Jesus but about the Father God who loved us enough to send us His son.
To have the approval of God – We have to Imitate Jesus
• We have to become a person of grace and truth
• What is pleasing to God is that we not only have that divine mix of grace and truth
• But that we also extend it to those we live with.
• It is a matter of seeing others truthfully.
• To Know people and give them the benefit of the doubt!
How do you let this play out in life?
1. Look in others for that which is good
There is always something good in everyone you meet
2. Acknowledge in others that which is bad
No one is perfect. Don’t make the mistake of forcing the people in your life to live up to impossible standards.
3. Relate to others expecting the best
Look at the people in your life and expect excellence and they will often deliver it!!!
Especially your kids!
This is what Jesus did his whole time on earth
• The woman at the well in John 4 is a good example.
• Jesus saw a hard workingwoman who had been with 5 men
• And now was living with a sixth
• And he offered her the opportunity to change her life.
• The crooked taxman is another example.
• Jesus saw him sitting in a tree.
• He went home with him and challenged him to stop cheating others.
• There was the woman caught in adultery.
• When others attacked her He said nothing,
• But instead questioned their lives.
• Then He told her to, “Go and Sin no more”
• There was Peter, who Jesus told on one occasion, “Get behind me Satan”
• And on another, “Feed my Sheep”.
• There was Matthew, James and John,
• The woman who touched his garment,
• The woman who washed his feet with her tears.
• Jesus even extended both grace and truth to Judas when He said, “What you do, do quickly” Make up your mind.
How do we extend the grace and truth to others
• When we ourselves have been treated poorly?
• Cause the fact is It’s not easy for us – to love and extend approval to others
• When we are so hungry for our own approval
• How do we do it
• God wants to approve of you so much
• That He has extended His approval to us through Jesus Christ.
• We’re already there.
• Now we just need to follow Jesus.
• To be a disciple of Jesus. To Imitate him. To do what would Jesus do?
• It’s not hard once we understand that we are approved of by God.
• The we can approve and love others
• And when we do this we will be filled with contentment that is impossible to describe.
And Here’s what’s cool.
• We get a double bonus
• We will be approved by God and you’ll be approved by everyone else too.
You see, we get the approval of God and others when we accept His approval and give ours.
• God loves us,
• And because of that we can love ourselves,
• And in turn we can love others.
Jesus said that he came so that we could have life and have it more abundantly.
God loves us, so that we can love ourselves, in order to love others.
