Honor Your Father and Your Mother
Exodus 20:12
Introduction
A mother that had scrimped and saved to put her son through college sat in her son’s graduation. She watched as he walked across the platform and received his degree with honors. As he walked down the isle, instead of turning into the designed row, he kept walking; down to where his mother sat. The young man threw his arms around her neck, kissed her on the cheek, and as he placed his diploma in her hands, he said, “Here you go Mom, you earned it!” The fifth commandment addresses that which many parents have earned.
Let’s face it; there aren’t that many children who hold their parents in that high regard. Too often, good old mom and dad are seen as obstacles to be overcome rather than wise guides to be followed and emulated. In this fifth Commandment, God lays down a principle for life that will determine how every relationship around you will turn out. You see, the home is the foundational structure that makes them up. As goes the home, so goes the nation, the community, the church, and so on. In the home, God has established an order that is to be strictly followed. The husband (father) is to be the head of that home, submitting himself to the will of the heavenly Father. The wife (mom) is to be in subjection to her husband, not as his doormat or servant, but as his helpmate. The children are to submit themselves to their parents, and in doing so, will be blessed of the Lord. Kids and youth, did you catch that. You will be blessed of the Lord, when you do that, not necessarily your parents. If this order is followed then the home will be blessed and will be a blessing to all those involved in it.
Yet, many homes are in shambles today because the children have forgotten all about the Fifth Commandment. It is fitting that this Commandment should fall here. It divides the commandments related to God from those related to our fellow man. You see, when we are out of step in the home, we will be out of step with God and with our fellow man. It is in the parental relationship that we learn first how to submit to the Lord and then how we re to serve our fellow man.
As we take a few minutes this morning to look into this verse and all that it teaches, we will find that there is instruction here for both parents and for children. Let’s talk today about “Honoring Your Father and Your Mother.”
Please read Exodus 20:12 with me.
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.”
As we go into our text this morning I want you to see three particular things that I believe will help us do a better job of keeping this commandment today.
I. There is a Respect that is Demanded
a. An Elevation to Recognize
• This verse makes it plain that parents are to be held in high regard by their children.
• Notice what Ephesians 6:1-3 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.”
• Honor, means to give great weight to, or to hold as valuable.
• Children are to hold Mom and Dad in high respect.
• They are not just two old fools out to ruin your fun.
• They have been placed in your life by the sovereign will of the Almighty God to be your overseers until you reach maturity.
• In the early stages of life, while a child is maturing from birth to adulthood, they are to be in absolute subjection to their parents.
• Children are to offer unquestioning obedience to their parents!
• When a child refuses to obey his or her parents, they are in effect refusing to submit to the Lord.
• There were times in my youth when I disobeyed my parents and I was wrong for doing so.
• I wish I could go back now with what I know.
• I would try to be a model son.
• But, I can’t go back!
• You young people who are still living under your parent’s roof might want to reconsider just how you are treating them!
• If you aren’t holding them in high regard and respect, then you need to repent of that sin and do right by your parents.
• It is discouraging, and frightening to see a child or young person being disrespectful to their parents.
• It spells trouble down the road, and it shows a lack of regard for God.
• It is a sign of deeply rooted sinfulness.
• There is absolutely no excuse for any behavior that attacks, disrespects or dishonors one’s parents!
• It is a sign of ignorance and immaturity!
B. An Esteem to Render
• As we grow older, we are to continue to regard our parents with great respect.
• Genesis 2:24 tells us that as children grow up, it is natural for them to leave their parent’s home.
• At this time, we are no longer under their direct authority.
• In other words, they aren’t there to tell us what to do day by day.
• Many are dreaming of that day right now, I’m sure.
• It isn’t all it’s cracked up to be though!
• Even though we leave their home and leave their authority, we are to still respect our parents and we are to call to mind the sacrifices they have made to bring us into the world and to nurture us to maturity.
• We should call to mind the long nights spent beside the sickbed.
• The many hours worked to provide food, shelter, and clothing.
• I know my parents where probably happy when my brother and me moved out, it cut the grocery bill in more then half.
• We should remember the love dispensed in abundance for so little in return.
• Even though we are out from under their authority, we still owe them our respect.
• They deserve nothing less!
• Jesus, He was the great example of this.
• As a twelve year old boy, He submitted Himself to His parents, according to Luke 2:51.
• And as a dying man, He remembered to honor His mother by seeing that she was cared for.
• Our own Brother Robert gave up the freedom of living in his own home to move back in with his father to help him out. That is the spirit of this verse!
C. An Experience to Regard
• Let me say a word about parental advise here.
• Many young people simply refuse to hear what their parents tell them and as a result, they often experience trouble and hardship.
• Young people would do well to remember that parents speak from the experience gained by taking the hard knocks themselves.
• Their warnings are given to guide their children in the right path and to steer them past many of the obstacle of life.
• Experience is far wiser than ignorance!
• It is an ignorant child that refuses that counsel of wise, experienced parents.
• Many are like this little girl – A youngster was very unhappy because her parents had refused he wishes. That evening her mother was amused to hear her pray, “Please, Lord don’t give her any more children; she doesn’t know how to treat the ones she’s got now!”
• The attitude of children toward their parents changes as they grow older.
• During the teen years especially, some young people show little respect for their father and mothers.
• It’s disheartening to see this.
• But as those young teenagers mature, they being to recognize that Mom and Dad knew a lot more then they gave them credit for.
• Mark Twain once said, “When I was 14 years old, my father was so ignorant I hated to have the old man around. But when I was 21 years old, I was astonished to see how much my father had learned in only 7 years.”
• Sometimes young people come to realize with deep regret that if they had followed the counsel of their parents they could have avoided a lot of heartache both for themselves and their family.
II. There is a Respect that is Deserved
While this verse speaks primarily to young people and children, it also speaks to parents. Children will have a difficult time respecting a parent who hasn’t lived a life worthy of honor. Allow me to share with you three reasons how parents can earn the respect of their children.
a. By Our Faithfulness
• Parents need to remember that children will respect a life that is lived faithfully.
• Children long to see their parents living with their best interests at heart.
• When a child knows that Mom and Dad really care what happens to them, they will respond to that display of love.
• Let’s face it, many parents want their kids to do right, because it makes them look better.
• Their primary concern is, “What will my friends think of me if…?” Especially our friends at church.
• Others are devastated when their children start to turn out differently then they had planned.
• A parents duty to their children is to love them unconditionally and faithfully place their need ahead of your own.
• Kids will respond to that kind of love.
• By the way, faithfulness to the Lord goes along way with kids too.
• When we live as though the Lord, His work, His worship, and His house are optional, our children will come to believe it too.
• Don’t expect them to be faithful, dedicated Christians when you aren’t one yourself.
• I guess that what we do speaks so loud our kids can’t hear what we are saying!
b. By Our Fairness
• We earn respect by being fair.
• That is, we are firm in what we say, but we are tempered in our actions by love.
• This brings to mind two methods of child rearing that need to be mentioned.
1. Discipline
• There are parents who believe that the answer to every infraction is a beating.
2. Liberty
• There are others who feel that their children can do as they please.
• Oh, they may not like what their kids do and there is a lot of yelling, threatening and pleading, but there is never any discipline imposed on the wayward child.
• These two methods represent the extremes, our duty, in fairness to our children, is to find the happy medium.
• There are times when we must discipline, according to Proverbs 13:24 and 29:17.
• Any parent who refuses to apply the board of education to the seat of leaning is doing their children a great injustice.
• Then, there are times when we need to allow our kids a little growing room.
• Our job is to find that place where they can be themselves and still learn that God has a plan for their lives.
• Too bad they don’t come with training manuals, when they are born! AMEN!
c. By Fruitfulness
• Parents earn respect from their children when they can see their parents investing their lives in their children.
• When we give them love and time and patience and encouragement and hope, they will respond with respect and love of their own.
• There was a little boy, who expressed great concern about his parents. He told of how his father worked hard to provide for all of his needs and how his mother slaved around the house, cooking and cleaning up after him and taking care of him when he was sick. When asked what he had to be worried about he said, “I am afraid that they might escape!”
• Thank God for those parents who invest their lives into those of their children!
• Children have much to be thankful for in their parents.
• However, too many are too immature and too self-centered to see that.
• Yet, they will some day, many when it is too late to say thank you.
III. A Reward that will be Delivered
This verse contains more than a “don’t”, it also gives us a great promise. This verse reminds those who obey their Father and Mother that there are some promises that they can have for themselves.
a. Our Days will be Lengthened
• When one honors their parents as they ought, then God has promised them longer days upon the earth.
• I believe that we can take this literally.
• If this is true, and it is, then it can also be said that refusal to obey parents can result in an abbreviated live!
b. Our Days will be Lightened
• Not only does the Lord promise length of days to those who honor their parents, He also promises blessings to those who choose this wonderful way of life.
• George Washington had his heart set on going to sea. His trunk was already on board the ship when he went to tell his mother goodbye. He found here with tears in her eyes and a heavy heart that was opposed to his journey. He turned to a hired servant and ordered him to go to the ship and get his trunk. He said, “I will not leave and break my mothers’ heart.” Her response to him was them, “George, god has promised to bless the children that obey their parents.” God did bless his life and still uses his influence to this day!
• By the same token, God has cursed those who refuse to obey their Mother and Father according to Proverbs 30:17.
• It reads, “The eye that mocks a father and scorns a mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it.”
• It simply comes down to this: Children that treat their parents with the respect they are due and worthy of, will be blessed of the Lord!”
Closing
As I look back over the years of my life, I realize that in many ways I was a very disobedient child. Yet, I thank God for my parents and for the life raising they gave me. What I am today is a product of the investment they made then in my life. The same stands true for each of you today! We may not always agree with them, and we may not always understand them, but they are our parents and as such, they deserve all the love and respect that we can possible give to them. Let’s pray.
Prayer
Almighty God, thank you for your loving grace and mercy. Thank you for allowing us to come together today as a church family to worship our name and hear our gospel proclaimed. We ask now that you would examine our hearts and search us dear Lord of anything that might be stopping us from fully experiencing your blessings. Give us the strength to be true to ourselves and admit our wrong doings that we may come to you for forgiveness and cleansing. We ask this things in the name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and King. Amen.
Invitation
As Brother Bill prepares to come to led us in our time of invitation, I ask that you would quietly stand to your feet. I want you all to be honest with yourselves here today and more importantly honest before God, “Are you doing what the Lord is asking of you?” You have all heard the God’s gospel today; the question is how will you respond to it?
This invitation time is here for you. It isn’t here to make me feel better about what God just preached through me. This is your time to spend with God and if need be, to bring your burdens to God to take care of. God loves you and cares for you and He is eagerly waiting to hear from you.
