Sermon for September 13, 2009
Sermon Series: Sermons on the Grace of God
Sermon #4: Offering Grace
Scripture Ref: Matthew 10:8
‘Freely you have received, freely give.’
Introduction:
There are 4 WORDS that probably DEFINE GRACE better than any other phrase & that is GOD IS FOR US.
GOD is NOT just WITH US.
GOD is NOT just BY US.
If we have INVITED JESUS INTO OUR LIVES HE is NOT just WITHIN US.
The BIBLE says that GOD is FOR US.
Romans 8:21 ‘If GOD be for us, who can be against us:’
Because of OUR SINS, GOD has so many REASONS to be AGAINST US, but because of JESUS, GOD is FOR US.
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For the past few weeks we’ve been LOOKING at the GRACE of GOD.
We’ve looked at SAVING GRACE & SUSTAINING GRACE & HEALING GRACE.
This morning I want us to LOOK at OFFERING GRACE.
GOD did not just want us to RECEIVE GRACE HE also wanted us to PASS IT ON. If we have been CARED FOR by GOD then HE wants us to CARE for OTHERS. If we have been FORGIVEN by GOD, then HE wants US to FORGIVE OTHERS.
JESUS said in Matthew10:8 ‘Freely you have received, so freely give.’
We have ALL RECEIVED MANY THINGS from GOD. AMEN?
But his morning I want us to THINK about FORGIVENESS ---- because we have probably RECEIVED FORGIVENESS MORE than ANYTHING ELSE from the LORD. So FORGIVENESS is what we SHOULD BE GIVING.
HOW do we GIVE FORGIVENESS to OTHER PEOPLE?
This morning I want us to take a look at WHAT REALLY IS FORGIVENESS.
What is FORGIVENESS?
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But 1st I want us to take a little TEST.
There are 5 QUESTIONS & they are all TRUE or FALSE.
1. We should NOT FORGIVE a person UNTIL they ASK for it.
2. FORGIVENESS means MINIMIZING the OFFENSE & MINIMIZING the PAIN it caused?
3. FORGIVENESS includes RESTORING TRUST & REUNITING a FRIENDSHIP?
4. You haven’t REALLY FORGIVEN UNTIL you’ve FORGOTTEN the OFFENSE?
5. When I see SOMEONE ELSE HURT it is MY DUTY to FORGIVE the OFFENDER?
If we TAKE the WORD of GOD & particularly the 4 GOSPELS & we READ WHAT JESUS said about FORGIVENESS then we would come to the CONCLUSION that ALL 5 of these QUESTIONS are FALSE.
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This morning I want us to LOOK at WHAT FORGIVENESS REALLY IS.
But BEFORE we can LOOK at WHAT FORGIVENESS IS we need to LOOK at WHAT FORGIVENESS is NOT.
The BIBLE says there are 5 THINGS FORGIVENESS is NOT:
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1: FORGIVENESS IS NOT CONDITIONAL:
In other words, FORGIVENESS is NOT BASED on some sort of CONDITION.
In fact, the BIBLE says the very OPPOSITE.
REAL GENUINE FORGIVENESS is UNCONDITIONAL.
It is NOT SOMETHING that someone EARNS.
It is NOT SOMETHING that someone DESERVES.
It is NOT SOMETHING that someone BARGAINS FOR or BUYS.
It is NOT SOMETHING that someone gets BECAUSE they PROMISED to NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
When we TELL the PERSON, “I WILL FORGIVE YOU—IF” That’s NOT FORGIVENESS.
We’re BARGAINING, NOT FORGIVING.
GENUINE FORGIVENESS is UNCONDITIONAL.
It is OFFERED even if it is NOT ASKED FOR.
When JESUS HUNG on the CROSS, HE PRAYED, “FATHER, FORGIVE THEM for they know not what they do.”
GENUINE FORGIVENSS is UNCONDITIONAL. There are NO STRINGS ATTACHED:
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2: FORGIVENESS is NOT MINIMIZING the SERIOUSNESS of the OFFENSE
REAL FORGIVENESS is NOT MINIMIZING the SERIOUSNESS of the OFFENSE.
It is NOT SAYING, “It is NO BIG DEAL. It really DIDN’T HURT.”
The TRUTH is, IF it is WORTH FORGIVING then it REALLY DID HURT.
It DID CAUSE PAIN & PRETENDING it was NO BIG DEAL is NOT FORGIVENESS.
FORGIVENESS is saying, “YES IT DID HURT. It DID BRING ME PAIN. But I am GOING to LET IT GO. I AM NOT GOING TO HOLD IT AGAINST YOU.
A few days ago I read where a MAN KILLED his FATHER & his MOTHER & his BROTHER.
Let’s say we go to that MAN & we say to him:
‘You’re FORGIVEN. It was NO BIG DEAL.”
We MINIMIZE WHAT was done.
That’s NOT FORGIVENESS that is INSANITY.
It WAS a BIG DEAL!
So FORGIVENESS is NOT SAYING it is NO BIG DEAL & it DID NOT HURT WHEN it WAS & it DID.
There is a DIFFERENCE BETWEEN being WRONGED & being WOUNDED.
WOUNDS are UNINTENTIONAL while WRONGS are INTENTIONAL.
We are WOUNDED all the time by people ACCIDENTALLY.
People SAY THINGS that HURT US but it was NOT INTENTIONAL..
People DO THINGS that HURT US but they DID NOT MEAN TO.
Those DO NOT REQUIRE FORGIVENESS. What they REQUIRE is OUR ACCEPTANCE.
Simply REALIZING that NOBODY is PERFECT & they DID NOT MEAN to HURT US.
We must learn that NOT EVERYBODY is OUT to HURT US.
FORGIVENESS needs to be RESERVED for the BIG STUFF, for the SERIOUS THINGS, for the THINGS that people INTENTIONALLY DO to HURT US.
They KNEW WHAT they were DOING. They KNEW they WOULD HURT US.
That’s WHEN it CALLS for OUR FORGIVENESS.
When we’ve been HURT INTENTIONALLY that is when we NEED to FORGIVE.
3: FORGIVENESS is NOT RESUMING the RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT CHANGE.
FORGIVENESS is NOT the SAME as RECONCILIATION.
They are TWO DIFFERENT ISSUES.
FORGIVENESS does NOT MEAN that we are REQUIRED to REBUILD or RESTORE a REALTIONSHIP.
FORGIVENESS is INSTANT but TRUST has to be REBUILT OVER TIME.
FORGIVENESS takes care of the DAMAGE that was DONE to us BUT it DOES NOT GUARANTEE that the RELATIONSHIP is going to BE THE SAME again.
FORGIVENESS is WHAT is REQUIRED of US.
Whether or not there will be RECONCILIAITION DEPENDS upon WHAT the OTHER PERSON DOES.
They need to REPENT. Then they make what RESTITUTION is possible. & then they WORK on REBUILDING TRUST.
For EXAMPLE: Could be any kind of relationship:
You’re married to an ALCOHOLIC & an ABUSIVE HUSBAND.
He has really HURT YOU. & he comes & says ‘He’s SORRY & ASKS your FORGIVENESS.’
We HAVE to FORGIVE. GOD COMMANDS FORGIVENESS & that is INSTANT.
But we DO NOT have to ALLOW him BACK into the house.
That would REQUIRE him doing some COUNSELING & some PROOF of GENUINE CHANGE.
FORGIVENESS is BASED on GRACE but TRUST has to be EARNED.
4: REAL FORGIVENESS DOES NOT MEAN FORGETTING WHAT HAPPENED:
Sometimes we may have a HARD TIME FORGIVING because we THINK we MUST FORGET.
FORGIVENESS does NOT MEAN we MUST FORGET.
There’s the saying, “FORGIVE & FORGET.”
That is so SWEET & so NICE.
“I’m SORRY. Just FORGET IT.”
But it’s NOT PRATICAL. WHO can DO THAT?
It is IMPOSSIBLE for us to FORGET SOME THINGS no matter HOW HARD we TRY.
& the MORE PAIN something has BROUGHT us the HARDER it is to FORGET.
The WHOLE TIME we’re trying to FORGET it we’re FOCUSING upon WHAT we’re trying to FORGET.
We CANNOT FORGET by TRYING to FORGET.
Studies have shown that our BRAINS are like THOUSANDS & THOUSANDS of FILE CABINETS & we really NEVER FORGET ANYTHING.
& the MORE IMPORTANT a thing WAS in our lives the MORE LIKELY it is to BE REMEMBERED.
We may BLOCK SOME THINGS OUT.
TRAMA & PAIN may cause us to ERASE some RECALL of EVENTS but they are THERE.
WE DO NOT REALLY FORGET ANYTHING.
But there is SOMETHING BETTER than FORGETTING.
REMEMBERING BUT NOT FEELING THE PAIN.
It is REMEMBERING that SOMEHOW & SOMEWAY GOD takes even the BAD THINGS that HAPPEN & HE CAUSES GOOD to COME from them.
No matter WHO DID WHAT to us they CANNOT STOP GOD from WORKING in OUR BEHALF.
& HE WILL WORK in OUR BEHALF!
Romans 8:28 ‘All things work together for the good…”
In time we will declare
LOOK at HOW GOD has BLESSED in SPITE of WHAT HAPPENED. Amen?
When we RECALL SOMETHING but THEN RECALL HOW GOD has BLESSED despite WHAT HAPPENED we can GIVE GOD PRAISE!
So FORGIVENESS is NOT FORGETTING because we probably will NEVER do it.
5: FORGIVENESS ISN’T MY RIGHT WHEN I WASN’T THE ONE THAT WAS HURT:
This is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what CULTURE TEACHES us.
CULTURE TEACHES us that we are to run around FORGIVING EVERYBODY because we’re afraid SOMEBODY --- SOMEWHERE might FEEL GUILTY.
Let’s GET RID of GUILT as QUICK as POSSIBLE by just OFFERING EVERYONE BLANKET FORGIVENESS.
We OFFER FORGIVENESS for PEOPLE we DO NOT KNOW or KNOW ANYTHING about.
ONLY the ONE OFFENDED can OFFER FORGIVENESS.
OTHERS should STAY OUT of the SITUATION.
If we were NOT the ONE OFFENDED we DO NOT KNOW the PAIN that was FELT.
REAL FORGIVENESS is RESERVED for the ONE who was OFFENDED & the only thing we should do is to PRAY for those WHO HURT & NOT to TAKE SIDES & try to STIR UP MORE STRIFE & MORE HURT by BECOMING a PART of SOMETHING that is NONE of OUR BUSINESS.
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PART #2:
WHAT IS FORGIVENESS:
REAL FORGIVENESS is NOT some CHEAP WORDS we THROW OUT INSTANTLY & EVERYBODY FEELS BETTER.
REAL FORGIVENESS is for those SERIOUS WOUNDS done to us INTENTIONALLY.
SOME PEOPLE get OFFENDED at the DROP of a HAT. We need to GROW UP SPIRITUALLY.
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LOOK AT 4 THINGS the BIBLE says FORGIVENESS is:
1: REMEMBERING HOW MUCH WE HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN:
We need to REMEMBER HOW MUCH GRACE we have RECEIVED from JESUS.
Ephesians 4:32 ‘Be ye kind & tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as GOD for CHRIST’S sake has forgiven you’
We’re NOT FORGIVEN because we EARNED it or DESERVED it.
We’re FORGIVEN BECAUSE we put OUR FAITH in JESUS & WHAT HE DID at CALVARY for us.
The MORE GRACE we have RECEIVED from GOD the MORE GRACE we ought to be GIVING OUT to OTHERS.
2: RELINQUISHING MY RIGHT TO GET EVEN:
Romans 12:19 “dearly beloved, Avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the LORD.’
That is what FORGIVENESS is. It is GIVING UP OUR RIGHT to GET EVEN.
We take the PAIN without TRYING to GET EVEN.
That is EXACTLY the WAY GOD DEALS with us. HE DOESN’T GIVE us WHAT we DESERVE but HE GIVES US HIS GRACE,
ONE DAY GOD will SETTLE the SCORE.
HOLDING ON to OFFENSES ONLY HURT US.
3: RESPOND to EVIL with GOOD:
GENUINE FORGIVENESS is when we RESPOND to the WRONG with GOODNESS.
Luke 6: 27 ‘But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you. 28 ‘Bless them that curse you, & pray for them which despitefully use you.’
HOW can we TELL WHEN we have TRULY FORGIVEN?
WHEN we can HONESTLY PRAY for GOD to BLESS the ONE who HURT us:
We have to ALLOW the LOVE of GOD to FILL our HEARTS.
We RELEASE the HURT rather than HOLDING ON to it.
The longer we hold on to the hurt the greater the chance of BITTERNESS occurring.
4: REPEAT the PROCESS AS LONG AS NECESSARY:
We do these things OVER & OVER again.
FORGIVENESS is NOT a ONE TIME SHOT.
The JEWISH O T LAW said that they had to FORGIVE a person THREE TIMES.
PETER DOUBLES it to SIX & the ADDS ONE MORE.
He asks JESUS, ‘Is 7 TIMES ENOUGH?’
JESUS says “What about 70 x 7?’
We KEEP FORGIVING UNTIL the DESIRE to INFLICT PAIN is GONE.
Every time the MEMORY RETURNS KEEP on FORGIVING.
GENUINE FORGIVENESS is NEVER EASY.
WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE THAT PERSON?
1: Because GOD has been GRACIOUS to us.
2: Because the ALTERNATIVE is BITTERNESS.
BITTERNESS will HURT US MORE than the one we’re BITTER toward.
3: Because if we DO NOT neither will GOD FORGIVE US.
Matthew 6:15 ‘But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’
