THE VALUES OF TRUE FRIENDSHIP
Philippians 2:19-30
Proposition: The value of true friendship includes encouragement, endearment and enjoyment in being the kind of example in the family of God with Jesus as our best Friend since He is our Lord and Savior.
Objective: My purpose is to challenge God’s people to not only have friends but to be a friend like Jesus.
INTRODUCTION:
Illus: Steve May writes about Glynn Wolfe who died alone in Los Angeles at the age of 88. No one came to claim his body; the city paid to have him buried in an unmarked grave. This is sad, but not unusual. It happens all too often in large cities where people tend to live disenfranchised lives. Glynn’s situation was unique, though, because he was no ordinary man. He held a world record. The Guinness Book listed him as the Most Married Man, with 29 marriages to his credit. This means 29 times he was asked, "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife...forsaking all others do you pledge yourself only to her, so long as you both shall live?" 29 times Glynn Wolf said, "I do," but it never quite worked out that way. He died leaving behind children, grand-children, great grand-children, a number of living ex-wives, and innumerable ex-in-laws—and still, he died alone. He spent his entire adult life looking for something he apparently never found—and he died alone. Glynn Wolf is an extreme example of how people spend their lives drifting in and out of marriages, in and out of relationships, only to find themselves isolated and alone. Our primary purpose is to love God. When we allow secondary relationships to take Christ’s rightful place in our lives, we become dissatisfied and frustrated. The result is, like Glynn Wolf, we end up isolated and alone. Our success in loving others is dependent upon our willingness to love Christ above all else, with all that we have.
We talk about friendship and toss the word "friend" around rather freely. We are counseled to choose our friends wisely because an alliance with the wrong friends leads to trouble. Today we read some words by the Apostle Paul. He talks about two people that were definitely his friends. Timothy was a young man Paul helped come to Christ. His mother & grandmother were Jewish believers but his father was a Greek. Timothy came to faith & became Paul’s loyal companion. Epaphroditus is a man we only read about in the letter to the Philippians. It seems that Epaphroditus was sent by the church in Philippi to help care for the Apostle Paul. We know that while Epaphroditus was with Paul he became seriously ill. His illness must have lasted for a long period because the Philippians heard about it and had sent word back about their concern for Epaphroditus. We don’t know what was wrong with Epaphroditus but we do know that Paul was concerned about him. Here, Paul said things about these two faithful fellow workers that would assure their warm reception when they arrived. They were great examples of true friendship.
I. A TRUE FRIEND GIVES ENCOURAGEMENT (vvs. 19-20) “That I also may be encouraged”—A genuine labor--A friend is your biggest cheerleader. They praise you and value your victories. They use words to build you up and when they speak you listen.
Illus: Walter Winchell said: "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
1. A commission (v. 19) “I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you shortly”— Paul calls Timothy his "son in the faith" because he had won him to Christ (Acts 16:1-5, 2 Tim. 1:1-6, 1 Cor. 4:15-17). Like Paul, Timothy lived for others, not for self. Timothy was Paul’s helper and representative and had proved himself faithful to the Lord. Timothy’s great use was that, whenever Paul wished for information from some church or wished to send advice of encouragement or rebuke and could not go himself, it was he whom he sent.
2. Comfort (v. 19b) “that I also may be encouraged”--This will happen when he returns from visiting you and tells me of your state. Timothy had been with Paul extensively during his travels and was at the time indicated here performing some valuable service for the apostle. It would have been a genuine sacrifice for Paul to part with him for a journey to Philippi.
3. Compassion (v. 20a) “Í have no one like-minded”-- Paul’s glowing testimony about Timothy was not to introduce his young associate, for he was already well known at Philippi, but to avert possible disappointment that Paul himself could not come at once and indicated that he had the fullest confidence in his younger associate. "No one else like him" is literally "no one of equal soul" (isopsychon). In the light of what follows, it seems best to take the comparison as being between Timothy and Paul’s other available associates.
4. Care (v. 20b) “who will sincerely care for your souls”-- In the matter of "a genuine interest in your welfare," no one that Paul might conceivably have sent had the same interest in the Philippians as did Timothy. None of all my fellow helpers in the Gospel have the same zeal and affectionate concern for your prosperity in every respect as he has.
Illus: Eric Butterworth tells about a sociology professor who sent his students into the slums of Baltimore years ago. Their assignment was to get case histories on 200 boys and to evaluate the potential of each one. What did the future hold for these children of poverty? The students made a pessimistic prediction about every single one. They just didn’t seem to have a chance. Years later another researcher came across this study and decided to try to follow up on these boys, now men in their thirties. Surprisingly, he was able to locate 180 of the original subjects, but the most amazing thing was that all but four of these men had been very successful in life. Some were doctors, lawyers, or businessmen, but all had done very well. When the researcher interviewed each one and asked what had contributed to his success, all of the men mentioned a particular teacher. He tracked down the teacher, now an elderly lady but still quite alert. He asked her what she had done to help these boys become so successful. With sparkling eyes, she smiled and said, "It’s very simple really. I loved those boys."
5. Consideration (v. 21) “For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus”-- Meaning not every individual, but the greatest part; and not merely such as were manifestly false teachers, but such as were with the apostle, as ministers of the word; and we may suppose him to be stripped, by one means or another, of the more valuable preachers of the Gospel.
Illus: Jackie Robinson was the first black to play major league baseball. While breaking baseball’s "color barrier," he faced jeering crowds in every stadium. While playing one day in his home stadium in Brooklyn, he committed an error. His own fans began to ridicule him. He stood at second base, humiliated, while the fans jeered. Then shortstop "Pee Wee" Reese came over and stood next to him. He put his arm around Jackie Robinson and faced the crowd. The fans grew quiet. Robinson later said that arm around his shoulder saved his career. Do you think that Pee Wee Reese didn’t catch some grief for what he did? Of course he did. But he was not going to allow a friend and teammate to face that kind of persecution alone.
II. A TRUE FRIEND SHOWS ENDEARMENT (vvs. 22-24) “As a son he served with me”—A genuine love-- Timothy was his convert, and showed him a tender reverence.
1. Commendation (v. 22) “You know his proven
character” -- To “prove” refers to a testing of one’s character. Timothy’s name in Greek means “he honors God” & Timothy is living up to his name. He did not cave into pressure, for to be proved is to be tested over time & under pressure. It has been said that people are like teabags... you never know how strong they are until you drop them in hot water. Timothy’s consistency is evidenced over time as he has worked like a son with his father, serving together to see the good news of Christ go out.
2. Communication (v. 23) “I hope to send him at once”—
Paul expected to send Timothy as soon as he learned the issue of an uncertain trial. The peace of Christ in his heart. Apparently Paul was waiting for some decision in his legal case.
3. Consideration (v. 24) “I trust in the Lord that I
shall…come”-- Yet he expects by the Lord’s help to be released, and to visit them himself. Because Timothy had thus proved himself, Paul hoped to send him to the Philippians as soon as he learned the outcome of his appeal to Caesar. This is doubtless the apostle’s meaning in the expression as soon as I see how it goes with me. He hopes that his appeal will be successful, and that he will be set free so that he might visit the Philippians once more.
Illus: The world called J. Paul Getty a success. In his life he was the wealthiest man in the world. For many he epitomized success, not only by the money he made, but by what he donated, such as $7,000,000 for an art museum. But with his family he was a tyrant. He changed his will 21 times to punish family members who crossed him. When his 12 year old son suddenly died he wrote in his journal, on the day of his burial, “Today was the day we buried darling Timothy, sad day.” But then he went on to outline various stocks he traded. Scripture is clear that over the long haul relationships are more valuable than things. You can be a success in everything else but if you have no compassion you’re a failure. Paul describes Timothy as a man with compassion. It was Paul’s intention to send Timothy to Philippi to encourage the church there as well as on his return, encourage Paul with his report.
III. A TRUE FRIEND SETS A GOOD EXAMPLE(vvs. 25-27) “Your messenger and the one who ministered to my need”— Paul regarded Epaphroditus very highly. He was faithful and set an example that others could follow in their service for the Lord. Paul had nothing but praise for this otherwise unknown Christian. He calls him "my brother." Timothy was Paul’s son; Epaphroditus was his brother. No one did more than Paul to spread the family spirit throughout the church.
1. The servant (v. 25) “Epaphroditus, my brother, fellow worker and fellow soldier”-- Epaphroditus, whose name means "handsome, charming," was cooperative in Paul’s work. Notice how he describes Epaphroditus: my brother, fellow worker and fellow soldier. Again, Paul pictures the necessity of cooperation. On the battle field cooperation is a matter of life or death. Epaphroditus was one whom Paul knew would stand shoulder to shoulder with him. In the ancient world where hand to hand combat with the norm, the battle would be lost if the warriors did not hold their positions, protect one another from attack.
Illus: Illus: Dr. H.A. Ironside tells of a group who thought only of "fellowship." They had little concern for reaching the lost or for defending the faith against its enemies. In front of their meeting place they hung a sign: JESUS ONLY. But the wind blew away some of the letters and the sign read US ONLY. It was a perfect description of people who were not balanced Christians.
2. The sympathy (v. 26) “He…was distressed because you had heard that he was sick”-- It is bad enough to be sick; but it is worse to be sick far away from home. Homesickness can set in at a time like that. Epaphroditus was not depressed because he was sick, away from home and among strangers. What burdened him was his concern that his family and friends at Philippi would worry about him. He did not want others to be burdened with his troubles.
3. The support (v. 27) “But God had mercy on him, and not only him but on me also”— Epaphroditus recovered from his desperate illness and Paul saw in his restoration to health another token of the mercy of God--His mercy to both Epaphroditus and Paul. Paul was spared the sorrow of losing the fellowship of a man with whom he felt a spiritual kinship.
Illus: Two men were riding a bicycle built for two and they came to a big steep hill. It took a great deal of struggle for the men to complete what proved to be a very stiff climb. When they got to the top the man in front turned to the other and said, "Boy, that sure was a hard climb." The fellow in back replied, "Yes, and if I hadn’t kept the brakes on all the way we would certainly have rolled down back-wards." So often we hold the brakes on others, we slow them down by refusing to participate, by constant negativity. It is a principle of organization that when we cooperate together we can accomplish so much more.
IV. A TRUE FRIEND BRINGS ENJOYMENT (vvs. 28-30) “that you may rejoice…Receive him…with all gladness”--A genuine longing--Paul was indeed selfless. He had the best interests of the Philippian believers and Epaphroditus at heart when he sends him back to Philippi.
1. Service (v. 28) “I sent him more eagerly” Paul is saying, “I’m going to send him back home." Here is what I want the church to do. They would rejoice not only because Epaphroditus arrived safely, but also because he was bursting with news of Paul. Paul probably said, "I can’t keep you here dear friend. Your fever could recur and that would be fatal. Besides, my own situation is more uncertain than it has been. So you must go home and share with our friends what Christ is doing here and in my life."
2. Satisfaction (v. 29) “Receive him therefore in the Lord”-- Not only should they receive Epaphroditus joyfully, but they should also esteem this dear man of God. It is a great dignity and privilege to be engaged in the service of the Lord. The saints should recognize this, even when it concerns one with whom they are very familiar.
3. Sacrifice (v. 30) “He came close to death, not regarding his life”-- Epaphroditus’ illness was directly connected with his tireless service for Christ. This is of great value in the eyes of the Lord. It is better to burn out for Christ than to rust out. It is better to die in the service of Jesus than to be counted a mere statistic among those who die from illness or accident.
The word here actually means "gambling his life" for Paul’s sake. The use of the particular Greek word ([parabolos]) has led some scholars to identify Epaphroditus’ work as like that "of an association of men in Alexandria known as the Parabolani. Among the hazardous duties of this “gamblers” was the nursing of the sick during epidemics. When certain types of epidemics frightened the pagan populations, terrible things happened. Barclay tells this: In A.D. 252 plague broke out in Carthage; the heathen threw out the bodies of their dead and fled in terror. Cyprian, the Christian bishop, gathered his congregation together and set them to burying the dead and nursing the sick. Whether anything like this was involved in the illness contracted by Epaphroditus is unknown; but we may be sure of one thing, "He was a brave man; for anyone who proposed to offer himself as an attendant of a man waiting trial on a capital charge was laying himself open to considerable risk of facing the same charge." These were willing to gamble with their lives to help others. And really, isn’t that the picture of what true discipleship is? We are to "put it on the line for Christ." But in a similar way, we put it on the line for our friends. The attitude of too many Christians today is, LET OTHERS GAMBLE, I WILL PLAY IT SAFE!!!
CONCLUSION: In closing, let us remember:
1. Everyone needs a friend. We all need someone we know we can depend on. If you have a good friend, say to that person, "I’m glad you are my friend."
Illus: The story goes that two friends were fighting side by side on the battle-
field. The combat was fierce and many men were dying. One of the friends was wounded and couldn’t get back to the trenches. The other friend went out to get him, going against orders. He returned with a wound that would lead to his death and his friend was already dead. The officer looked at the dying soldier and said, "It wasn’t worth it." The soldier replied, "O but it was sir. When I reached my friend, he looked at me and said, ‘I knew you’d come.’”
2. In order to have a true friend you need to be a good friend. If we want
friends we can’t wait for people to come to us. We can’t wait for people to show that they love us also.
3. A person must be patient since friendships do not develop over night. They
develop over time. Be friendly with others and over time you will discover who your real friends are.
4. Jesus wants to be your best friend. Our friendship with Him begins when we commit our lives to Him and ask Him to be our Lord and Savior. Is Jesus your best Friend?
Illus: Dr. S.D. Gordon tells of an older Christian woman who was at the age
began to tell on her memory. She had known much of the Bible but now there was only one verse now with her: "I know whom I have believed...that which I have committed unto Him against that day." Then she could only remember: "that which I have committed unto Him against that day." At last as she was near death, her family saw her lips moving and one of them bent down to see if she needed anything. She was repeating over and over one word, "Him," Him," "Him!" She had lost whole Bible, but one word, but she had the entire Bible in that one word.
Illus: He is Lord, He is Lord;
He is risen from the dead and He is Lord,
Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess
That Jesus Christ is Lord!
Prepared by: Gerald R. Steffy
6206 N. Hamilton Rd., Peoria, IL 61614
E-Mail: grsteffy@yahoo.com to receive
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