How to Deal
Part 3: How to Deal with Broken Dreams
Key Scriptures: Genesis 50:15-21
Icebreaker: We are born dreamers. We all have heroes – people that we look up to and want to be like. As a kid, I especially loved to dream of being a sports hero. Out in our driveway, I’d dream out having 3 seconds to go in the Final Four and I was the starting point guard for the Kentucky Wildcats. And the Wildcats were down by 2 in the national championship game and they inbound the ball to Collins! He fakes left, goes right, and shoots a fade away 3 pointer as the buzzer sounds….NOTHING BUT NET! THE WILDCATS ARE NATIONAL CHAMPIONS AND THEY’RE HOISTING COLLINS UP ON THEIR SHOULDERS!
Intro: Nice, right? Of course, if I happened to miss the game winning shot…the imaginary clock got reset to “3 seconds” and the referees let me have a do-over. That’d be nice in real life, wouldn’t it?
-How many of you have ever dreamed of winning something? Not the lottery, I’m sure. But you know what I’m talking about? We’re all born dreamers. And you know when a person really gets old? When they stop dreaming of what could be. You see, age has nothing to do with years. It doesn’t even have anything to do with wrinkles. Well, maybe a little. But it has more to do with losing the dream. And this morning, I hope this message will be helpful to many of you.
-The first sermon series I preached here at Millville 2 years ago was called, “Dare to Dream.” And with today being my final Sunday here, I want to challenge you one more time to dream big for God. But sometimes it seems like dreams slip through our fingers and we lose sight of them. So today, I want to talk to you from God’s Word about how deal with broken dreams.
-You see, sometimes our dreams take detours. Sometimes we take little side trips in route to our dreams and sometimes we never get back on the main road to a dream. Some detours are from God and some are of our own doing. We’re going to start in Genesis 50, where Joseph had an incredible detour on the road to the dream that God had for him.
-Here’s a great quote:
“Great it is to believe the dream,
As we stand as youth by the starry stream.
But a greater thing is to live life through,
And say at the end, the dream came true.”
-Let’s start by talking about why so few people realize their dreams.
Why So Few People Realize their Dreams
1. Unrealistic expectations.
-Some people never realize their dreams because of unrealistic expectations. And sometimes those expectations come from other people. But more often, the unrealistic expectations come from ourselves. I know people that go through life simply asking too much of themselves.
-You might not realize it, but you are your own worst enemy many times. Some people want to climb so high, do so well, and that put all of that burden on their own backs. And sometimes it’s just too much. You’re only human. You’re not Superman. And God doesn’t ask you to be. He only asks you to be a good manager of what He’s blessed you with.
-So, how can you know if the dream you think God has for you life really is attainable? Well, first of all, it will be affirmed by other people. If your dreams and goals are realistic and right, there will be affirmation from other sources besides your family. One of the ways that God has confirmed in my life that He wants me to be a pastor is that all throughout my life, other people have confirmed that calling. When God calls you to something, whatever it might be, other spiritual people will see that in you.
-A second way to tell if your vision truly is of the Lord is that it will be compatible with your gifts. God’s has given us gifts for one purpose and that is His purpose. Those gifts enhance the design and dream that God has for our life. So if I were to tell you that my goal in life is to be a professional golfer, I probably wouldn’t get any affirmation from you because it would become obvious after a round of golf that that dream isn’t compatible with my gifts. Same goes for you.
2. Uncooperative circumstances. (John 16:33, 2 Cor. 4:8-9)
-Some situations come up in our journey that don’t cooperate with our dream. I really love the quote from Paul Harvey:
“You can tell [when] you’re on the road to success. It’s uphill all the way.”
-How true that is, amen? And on that journey, it’s hard enough to get there is things go well, but a lot of times things don’t go well. In fact, Jesus said in John 16:33:
Scripture: John 16:33
“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
-Boy, we love the 2nd half of that verse, don’t we? “Whoo, yeah! Jesus has overcome the world!” But don’t forget what Jesus said first. What did He say first? Jesus says, “You will have trouble.” He doesn’t say, “you might have trouble,” or “you’ll probably have trouble.” He says, “You will have trouble.” Take it to the bank. You will. There are going to be setbacks and times when we are faced with obstacles that seem insurmountable to us.
-But praise God that Jesus didn’t just stop there. He was brutally honest when He said we will have trouble, but then He gives us the answer for that trouble. He says, “Take heart! I have overcome the world.” Jesus, the overcomer; Jesus the conqueror; Jesus the defender of the righteous; Jesus the King of Heaven and Earth, says, “Yes, you will have trouble. But take heart. I have already defeated it.”
-In other words, “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.” Jesus is saying, “Even if you have an insurmountable obstacle standing in your way, I have the power to overcome it.” I love what Paul says to the churches in Corinth:
Scripture: 2 Cor. 4:8-9
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”
-That’s a tremendous passage of Scripture that every one of us needs to remember, this morning. Paul says that in this world we’re going to have some uncooperative circumstances on the path to the dream God has for us, but it’s okay. We may get knocked down on the way there, but we’re never knocked out. We’re able to get back up with God’s help and get back on course and pursue our dream.
3. Unresolved conflicts. (Col. 3:15)
-Another reason people fail to realize their dreams is because they don’t know how to deal with conflict in their lives. When we have deep-seated conflict with other people, it will keep us from our dream. The Bible makes it clear that instead of dealing with conflict the way the world does, (you know, gossiping, lying, stirring up trouble and discord) as children of God we’re to deal with conflict with the very Spirit of Christ. That is, we forgive each other first, and ask questions later. See, most of them time, it’s the other way around. We think that people have to prove that they’re worthy of our forgiveness first. But God’s Word says, “No, forgive someone even if they’ve wronged you. Then work from there.”
-Don’t ever forget Colossians 3:15:
Scripture: Colossians 3:15
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.”
-We’re to go the extra mile to make peace and achieve unity. When we don’t, God won’t bless us in the pursuit of the dream He has for us.
4. Attacks from the Enemy. (1 Peter 5:8-9)
-Sometimes we’re our own worst enemy. But don’t ever forget that you have a real Enemy who seeks to destroy your soul. And if he can get you off the path of achieving God’s dream, he will. Of course, that Enemy is Satan. All throughout Scripture, the Bible paints a picture of the devil as a conniving, manipulating adversary who would like to be a detour on the path of the dreams, the plans, and the vision that God has for our lives. 1 Peter 5:8-9 says:
Scripture: 1 Peter 5:8-9
“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in the faith…”
-Have you ever wondered why the Bible uses the imagery of a lion to describe the devil?
-Let me ask you: Have you ever watched those nature shows and seen lions hunt wildebeests in the wild? You know how they snatch their meal? They pick out one wildebeest from the herd and try to get it to stray away from the pack. Maybe the wildebeest is sick. Maybe it’s been hurt. But as long as it can stay focused and stay close to the herd, the lions can’t get in and attack it. As long as the herd stays together, they’re safe. The lions know that they could be killed if they get caught up in the herd. So the lions are crafty. They pick out just that one and they all zero in on it. And if they can scare it enough to get it to break from the herd, it’s all over.
-That’s exactly how Satan operates. He’s not stupid. He’s cunning. He knows that when Christians are united together in the Spirit, his attacks will be thwarted and he will be defeated time and time, again. But he knows that if he can get the body of Christ to scatter, to start separating from each other, to start allowing division to creep in, then he can launch his attacks and destroy lives and destroy ministries and destroy churches. We must be wary of the Enemy’s attacks.
5. Sovereign Detours. (Gen. 50:15-21)
-Unlike the first four, Sovereign Detours are detours that God takes us on to prepare us for the dream that He has implanted without our hearts. It’s the “God has a better idea” detour.
-Here’s what I believe. Before we dig into this, let’s get some theological context going, here. I strongly believe in the sovereignty of God. That is, I believe that God always has everything under control. Always. I believe that He had a plan from the very beginning for my life. I believe the same for your life. I believe the same for this church. And I believe that as long as we are obedient to His Will, He places His protection over us and will not allow anything to happen to us until what He has designed for us has taken place.
-Now, if we get disobedient to His Will, that’s another story. God’s plan for me can be complete and fulfilled only as long as I walk in obedience to Him. When I start to stray away from that, things get messy. He lifts His protection and blessing and says, “Okay, have it your way.” You see, we can hinder God’s plan for our lives.
-So, I want you to understand that as we go to our key Scripture this morning in Genesis 50. You probably know the story of Joseph. He was a very special, very gifted young man. He was a big dreamer. But his brothers were jealous of him, so they sold him into slavery. Talk about a detour, right? We’re picking up in verse 15, right at the very end of his trials. Joseph is now 2nd in command over the whole nation of Egypt, and here’s what Scripture says:
Scripture: Genesis 50:15-21
“When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, "What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?" 16 So they sent word to Joseph, saying, "Your father left these instructions before he died: 17 ’This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father." When their message came to him, Joseph wept. 18 His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. "We are your slaves," they said. 19 But Joseph said to them, "Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.
-Did you pick up on what Joseph was getting at? “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done.” In other words, Joseph said, “I recognize that the difficult times I have been through have been a sovereign detour from God. And God allowed you to do these terrible things to me because there were some things He needed to teach me on the way here.”
-Now, you know what? Nobody wants to be thrown in a pit. Nobody wants to be sold into slavery. Nobody wants to be abandoned by the people they love. And nobody would want to be falsely accused like Joseph was by Potiphar’s wife. All those things happened to Joseph, but Joseph said, “As I look back now, so much of the value that my life has was forged during those times of trouble.”
-Now, If I were sitting where you are, with my pen in hand, taking notes, the question I would have is, “Okay, Stephen, I buy into that. But how do I know when I’m a sovereign detour? How do I know that it’s God who is taking me in an unexpected direction?” Good question. There are 2 answers:
Signs of a Sovereign Detour (Gen. 39)
1. You know that God’s hand is upon you.
-You see, outwardly, things may look wrong, but inwardly, you know that God’s hand is upon you. Outwardly, your job fell apart. The finances haven’t come. The kids are being rebellious. But inwardly, you can sense that God’s hand in upon you in a very special way.
-Remember, man looks on the outward, but God looks on the inward. And we’re going to Joseph’s life for these principles. In Genesis 39, this principle is reinforced a half dozen times. Genesis 39 happens before Joseph is Prime Minister, when he’s in Potiphar’s jail. Listen to how the Scripture recounts Joseph’s suffering:
Verse 2: “The LORD was with Joseph and he prospered..”
Verse 3: “The LORD gave him success in everything he did…”
Verse 5: “The LORD blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph.”
-Verse 20 is where things start to go bad. That’s when Joseph gets kicked out of Potiphar’s house because of the lie of Potiphar’s wife:
Scripture: Genesis 39:20-23
“Joseph’s master took him and put him in prison, the place where the king’s prisoners were confined. But while Joseph was there in the prison, 21 the LORD was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden. 22 So the warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there. 23 The warden paid no attention to anything under Joseph’s care…”
-Why? Because the Lord was with Joseph, Scripture says. Whatever Joseph did, God made him prosper. The first sign that you’re on a sovereign detour is the fact that even though you’re in jail or on the run or in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people, you can sense that God is still blessing your life.
2. You know you are doing right.
-You can look up to God or your wife or your husband and your best friend and say, “I know…I know in the deepest part of my heart…that’s I’ve been faithful and obedient. I know that I’m waling in the light as God gives it to me. I know that I’m living a holy life before God.” You know you’re doing right even when things are turning out bad.
-And the classic example of this is found in Genesis 39. Here’s Joseph. What’s he do? He resist temptation in Potiphar’s house with Potiphar’s wife. And what happens? He does what’s right and it lands him in jail. Now, that’s a perfect example of a sovereign detour. You say, “God’s I’ve been faithful to you and instead of being rewarded for my faithfulness, it seems like I’ve gone down into the very pit of the earth.” I want you to know something, this morning: that’s the sign of a God thing happening in your life. If you’re doing right and things seem to be just getting worse, that’s a sovereign detour.
-Now, if you’re doing wrong and disobeying God, don’t talk about sovereign detours. If you don’t know that you’re doing what’s right in His eyes, forget about it.
-Now, you may be wondering, “Okay, I think maybe I’m on a sovereign detour. What can I do in the midst of it?” Because hey, sovereign detours are tough places to be. Nobody wants to be in prison. Nobody wants to wrongfully accused. Nobody wants to be enslaved. Nobody wants to watch as unrighteous people get away with everything while righteous people pay the price. So let me give you 4 ways you can respond to sovereign detours that will help you as you work through them:
Our Responses to Sovereign Detours
1. Faithfulness in the midst of the situation.
-In the midst of a detour, your faith will be tested, maybe in ways that are more intense than ever before. But you have the strength to remain faithful, and God may be testing you so that you can see what your faith is really made of.
2. Ministry in the midst of the situation.
-I love what Joseph did. He didn’t say, “When I get out of this prison, I’m going to serve God.” He didn’t say at Potiphar’s, “If this thing clears up and justice prevails, I’m going to serve God.” You know what Joseph did? He said, “I’m gong to serve God and bring glory to Him wherever I am. While I’m in the midst of the pit, I’m going to bring glory to God and minister in His name.”
-How many times do we wait for the situation to change? “Well, as soon as I get my family troubles taken care of, I’m going to start ministering.” “Well, as soon as I get financially off my back, I’m going to start ministering.” No, no. Minister right where you are; that’s the attitude to have. Be like Joseph, who said, I’m going to bloom right where I’ve been planted. Even in a dark prison cell, I’m going to minister.”
3. Forgiveness in the midst of the situation.
-Joseph had the ability to forgive, to say to people who had done him wrong, “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.” He didn’t dig his heels in and make them squirm. His brothers even said, “We’ll be your servants.” If there was ever a chance for Joseph to get even, that was it. He could have said, “Yeah, guys. Good idea, you just serve me for the rest of your lives and I’ll forgive you.” But he didn’t do that. He forgave them even though they didn’t deserve it.
4. Joy in the midst of the situation.
-Our response to God’s sovereign detour should be one of joy and expectation, because someday we will look at the other side and see that God had his hand on us all the way. You know, I believe that Heaven’s going to be a lot of things, but one thing I believe is that somehow God is going to look with us back over the course of our lives and point out the detours He took us on. And I think He’ll point to specific instances in our lives, even specific days, and say, “Remember how miserable you were, there? But look how I was preparing you for the next step of your journey.”
Conclusion/Invitation
-I read once about the pilgrims who came to America from across the Atlantic. And when they settled, in Year 1, they built a town. In Year 2, they established a town council. And in Year 3, the town council said, “We’ll build a road 5 miles into the wilderness.” Now, notice this: in Year 4, those same pilgrims tried to impeach the town council because they didn’t want to build a road 5 miles into the wilderness. They game 2 reasons: 1) It would be costly. And 2) They liked the road where it was.
-You know, when you think about it, isn’t that sad? Think about it. The same people who looked across the Atlantic and risked their very lives to get out of their present situation and settle in the uncharted territory of the New World…were the same people that within 5 years couldn’t even envision a 5 mile road built into the wilderness.
-Do you see how quickly we lose our dreams? They’re kind of fragile, aren’t they? So I want to challenge you one more time, this morning: don’t lose the dream. Don’t lose sight of the vision God has for you. Don’t lose sight of the vision God has for this church. Press on. Stay close to God. And watch what He’ll do in your life.
