8/16/2009
Forgiveness is the Pits
Matthew Chapter 18:21-35
Introduction-
I want to talk a moment about forgiveness, and of course un-forgiveness.
I want to look at:
What it is, what it is not.
How it affects you and those who have wronged you.
What it does for you and what it will do to you if you don’t forgive.
We see that Peter approaches Jesus with the question- How many times Lord should we forgive? Seven times?
He thought he would be okay and really show maturity by saying seven. Jesus says 70x7. That is 490 times.
What He is saying to us is not necessarily the number of times, but showing that we should forgive them.
He goes into a parable explaining a servant dragged in by his master for an extreme debt. The servant fell on his knees asking for forgiveness, saying that he would pay him back in full and asking for mercy. The master took pity on him and cancelled the debt. Did you get that. He took mercy and the debt was erased. That same one forgiven left there and found one of his servants and demanded him to pay back a small amount or be thorn into prison until he paid it. He refused to forgive the debt. When others saw this they approached their master who had forgiven his debt, and he became mad that happened. He reversed his decision and had him thrown into prison.
That story today would be the same. We see people today hurting each other, not showing mercy but quick to always throwing the hammer down on each other.
Hurting people hurt people
I will never forgive him/her”. “You don’t know what they did to me.
As Christians God expects us to handle it different.
Being Christian has never been about being better than others.
Being Christian has always been about being different.
Christians should understand the great cost of our forgiveness. It wasn’t easy. It took Jesus to the cross, it cost Him his life. It is not holier than thou, better than you- it is gratitude of coming to Jesus with a debt we could not pay and us being forgiven. Then living a life like that to others.
The story of Joseph and the wrong that was done to him is an example of forgiveness. Thrown in a pit and left to die, yanked up and sold as a slave by his own brothers.
Life is the pits when bad things happen to us.
Life is the pits when people you trust do you wrong.
You can either live with un-forgiveness in that pit, and be miserable, or you can rise above the circumstance and be determined that the actions of others are not going to affect how you will live your life.
The Bible is full of passages telling us to forgive. Sermon on the mount, The Prodical Son.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
If you are offering a gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift at the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.
If I had to catagorize myself as a preacher, I would say for the most part I am a topical, application preacher. When I read God’s words, I want to apply it to my life.
What good is learning something if it cannot be applied.
So what is forgiveness?
Typically defined as a process for getting rid of resentment, indignation, or anger as a result of a personal offense, difference, or mistake, and ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.
Oxford dictionary defines it as “grant free pardon.”
Forgiveness is a pardon.
That is why Peter in this passage thought that if he told Jesus seven times that God would be pleased, and was surprised that Jesus said 70 x7.
Freedom and forgiveness comes at a price.
Freedom because someone else paid the price.
Forgiveness because Jesus paid the price.
One died for our country. One died for your soul
For you to truly understand forgiveness, you have to understand God’s forgiveness.
Before Jesus can say I forgive you, it cost Him something.
It cost him to die on the cross, buried, and being resurrected by God the Father.
The price had to be paid.
The ledger for us then can be wiped clean.
Before we are able to forgive, we must understand how much we have been forgiven so that with God’s help we can wipe the slate clean for those who have wronged us.
Hang with me a minute. I can see you saying, what about this What about that
What forgiveness is not
Forgiveness is not easy, but we, make it harder sometimes by trying to fool ourselves.
Forgiveness is not overlooking the wrong.
Joseph did not pretend that his brothers never did him wrong.
“You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.”
You tried to destroy me, but God turned it for good.
Forgiveness is not forgetting
Be smart learn from the situation.
Be smart don’t put yourself in harms way again.
Be smart, some relationships are broken because of things done.
Psalm 103:8
The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever. He does not treat us as our sins deserve, or repay us according to our iniquities. For as far as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
God can forgive and forget. He requires us to forgive.
Joseph did not forget. He did allow God to use it.
There is a difference between forgiving and excusing.
Sometimes we get them mixed up.
We think if we forget, we have to forget the wrongful act.
We think if we forgive, we are saying they are not responsible.
You don’t forgive to forget, you forgive so that the hurt and pain can be healed.
Excusing is a different area.
Stepping on someone’s foot, causing pain. They don’t forgive you. They excuse you. They excuse you because they know it is a accident. It was not on purpose. And after the toe stops aching. They will not harbor un-forgiveness.
Waiter drops a coke in your lap, you will be upset, your inconvenienced, but you will not suffer lasting trauma that requires a therapist.
Blind person knocks over your favorite lamp, you can excuse it in time because you know it was not intentional.
Forgiveness- you need God’s help. The pain is heavy, it is real, and without God’s help you cannot do it.
Excusing- realize it was an accident. You are able to move on.
Forgiveness is hard-
It does not mean things always go back to the way they were.
Forgiveness when you feel God has done you wrong is even harder.
Illustration
A few years ago your remember I came with a very special prayer request. I was praying because my mother developed cancer. I cornered some board members, Becky and I decided that we were going home and help my mother through this. My mother decided that she needed to do this on her own and kept us up to date on what was going on. I was upset at God. He knows it, so I don’t need to hide it. God, that is my mom .
I remember God and I having a serious talk, and him telling me he knows she is my mother.
Hebrews 12:15- came to mind.
See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
I can either put my concerns in God’s hands or I can harbor them, dwell on them, and cause myself and others to be miserable.
Un-forgiveness blocks our communication with God.
Forgiveness is one of the toughest things that Christ commands us to do, but we are commanded to do it.
Lastly:
Un-forgiveness will hold us hostage, and in bondage.
Truth be told, you dwell on the event, the person, the situation and you are miserable.
You cannot move ahead.
You cannot think of anything else.
Most likely, the person who has hurt you has moved on and doesn’t give it much thought.
The only one suffering is you .
It is not easy, but God in His grace gives us the power to do it if we give it to Him.
We are able to forgive because God is in charge. It is more than excusing, it is needing God to take charge of it.
It is bigger than you are, more than you can handle in yourself.
Some people spend their whole life miserable because they have allowed someone’s action to put them in bondage.
Today, Jesus wants to set you free from that.
The biggest fear to overcome is taking the first step.
We must do the things we think we cannot do
Closing”
Joseph did not forget.
You meant it to harm me, God intended it for good.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
Forgiveness is an act of faith
By forgiving, I am putting it (whatever it is) and trust God with it because He knows best.
Forgiveness is not allowing bitterness to grow and break or hurt our relationship with God.
Forgiveness is not allowing it to take our joy, causing stress and illness.
Illustration
Becky and I sit out in the summer every morning with our coffee. We enjoy watching all the birds and animals in our yard. There are two kinds of birds that fly over desert every year. One is a hummingbird and one is a vulture. The vulture finds the rotting meat of the desert, because that is what it is looking for. They thrive on that diet. Hummingbirds ignore the smelly dead animals. Instead, they look for the colorful blossoms of desert plants. The vulture lives on what was. They live on the past. They fill themselves with the dead and gone. Hummingbirds live on what is. They seek new life. They fill themselves with freshness and life. Each bird finds what it is looking for.
Decide if you want to live in the pits or decide this morning that you want fresh and new.
If you ask God this morning to forgive you, accept His forgiveness.
What others do is not your responsibility.
Don’t let them hold you in bondage.
Clara Barton, the founder of the Red Cross said “I choose to move on”
Why don’t you do the same this morning?
The only person worse than a quitter is one that never begins.
God will help us do what we cannot do in ourselves.
The same God that empowered Joseph and Peter can empower you this morning.
Altar call:
