Sometimes we get to look at easy passages. Sometimes we have to look at difficult passages. This is a difficult passage. But when we think about it, most of Jesus’ teachings are difficult. They are difficult because they force us to confront things in our life that we don’t want to. They force us to confront things that we want to push aside or cover up or justify. We want to either soften Jesus’ teaching or we want to ignore it. But Jesus taught the way that He did for a reason. He always confronted people in their most sensitive spot. This is a sensitive spot. If I was to ask for a show of hands—and I’m not. But if I was to ask everyone in here who has been somehow touched by divorce to raise your hand… every single one of us would have our hands in the air. Some in here have been through a divorce. Some have parents who have been divorced. Some have children who have been divorced. But each of us has been touched by divorce in some way or another. Now, we as a church have a couple of ways we can handle that. We can ignore it. We can act like it’s a problem for “those” people. But the fact is, that it isn’t. Recent statistics say that the divorce rate among people who claim to be church members is just as high as for those who aren’t. Either way, the divorce rate is approaching 50%. So, we can try to ignore it—but we really can’t. If you stand in a rainstorm, you can try to ignore the rain. But you’re still going to get wet. So, since we can’t ignore divorce, maybe we can soft sell it. We know we don’t like it, but maybe we can kind of accept it. Since it happens so much, it must be normal. And since it’s normal in our society, maybe we can just tolerate it and accept it as the way things are. Jesus certainly didn’t do that, did He? What did Jesus do? Jesus didn’t soft sell it. As a matter of fact, He seemed to take a harder line than anyone about divorce. But at the same time, He showed mercy and love and grace. Remember the woman at the well in John 4? She had been divorced five times. Is she the one who came and sought Jesus? No—Jesus sought her out. He sought her and showed her compassion and saved her. The fact is that divorce is one of the most traumatic things a person can ever go through. It is more traumatic than being the victim of a crime. It can be more traumatic than being the victim of abuse. It is even more traumatic than losing a spouse to death. The emotional trauma of divorce is worse than if your spouse had died. Why? Because divorce and the things leading up to it were the conscious choice of the people involved. Death very rarely is. Being a crime or abuse victim isn’t. So, as a church, we should have compassion on those who are in that situation. So many times, when a couple is going through a divorce, we are uncomfortable about it. We don’t know what to say or how to act. And we tend to avoid situations that make us uncomfortable. So—whether we mean to or not, we end up shunning those people who need us the most. Jesus didn’t shun hurting people. Neither should we. He sought them out and showed compassion. So should we. That doesn’t mean that you need to take sides or get in big long conversations about the situation. All you have to do is be there. All you have to do is shake a hand or hug a neck. All you have to do is love on them and be there for them if THEY want to initiate the conversation. That’s how we need to act toward divorce. We need to act like Jesus does. Have compassion on those who are experiencing it. But at the same time, never soft sell it. Never make it seem like it’s okay. Because it isn’t okay. Jesus makes that clear in this passage. As they always were doing, the Pharisees came to Jesus trying to trip Him up. See, difficulties about divorce aren’t just a new thing. So, they were asking Jesus about loopholes and technicalities. “When is it okay to get a divorce?” “Jesus, tell me where the line is.” “I want to know exactly how far I can go before I get in trouble.” What they were really wanting to do was the same thing we like to do. They were wanting to justify their own sin. Give me the specifics so I can come up with a loophole. The fact is, they had already come up with a whole series of loopholes. If there ever was a culture where it was easier to get a divorce than ours, it was theirs. Under Jewish law, if a woman displeased her husband in any way whatsoever, he was justified in divorcing her. They had whole statutes to justify divorce in the case of a woman burning her husband’s dinner. So they came to Jesus and asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason he wants to?” See, that was one of the hot topics that the scholars of the day were debating. Some agreed with the statutes that said you could get a divorce for anything. Others were the strict ones. They said that you could only get a divorce for things like adultery or the specific things that were listed in the original Mosaic Law. So they were trying to drag Jesus into their theological debate. And Jesus shocked all of them. He told them that they were all wrong. Their question to Jesus was, “When is divorce an option?” If I was to ask you that question, what would you say? When is it okay for marriage to end in divorce? Adultery? Abandonment? Irreconcilable differences? Do you know what Jesus’ answer was? Never. Jesus said that divorce is never an option. I told you that this teaching is hard. We can talk all day long about the temporal consequences of divorce. We can talk about how it’s hard on the kids and destructive to society. But the real reason that divorce is not an option is because of the bigger consequences. In verses 5-6, Jesus immediately takes us back to when God created marriage in the first place.
Why is divorce never an option? Divorce is never an option because of the design of marriage and because of the display of marriage. The design of marriage is a permanent covenant. It is a covenant that is so serious that the two parties who enter that covenant are no longer two parties. They are united in a one-flesh covenant. It’s not just a promise to each other. It’s not just a contract signed by a preacher or justice of the peace. It’s not just a legal document endorsed by the state. It is a permanent covenant between the one-flesh union and God Himself. And the only way that covenant is broken is by death. Verse 6 tells us who is doing the joining together. God is. And what God joins together cannot be dissolved by people. Divorce is never an option because of the design of marriage. But also, divorce is never an option because of the display of marriage.
Remember last week how we talked about marriage being a picture. Ephesians 5:22-33 tells us that the relationship between a husband and wife is a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church. Wives are to submit to their husbands even as the church is to submit to Christ. And at the same time, husbands are to love their wives even as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. How does Jesus love the church? He calls us. He draws us. He woos us. He saves us. And He keeps us. Jesus said that He will never leave us nor forsake us. In John 10:27-29, Jesus said, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.” Romans 8:38-39 says, “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Do you know what that means? It means that Jesus will never divorce His bride. And since marriage is a picture of His relationship with His bride, then when He divorces His bride, then we are free to divorce ours. Divorce is not an option because of the design of marriage. And divorce is not an option because of the display of marriage. But are there ever exceptions? I understand that a man can’t put away his wife for EVERY cause. But is there ever ANY cause?
Jesus said no. Immediately we want to go to the case of adultery. And when we do, we want to go to verse 9. But notice what verse 9 says. The KJV has it right here, where most modern translations miss it. There is a difference between fornication and adultery. Fornication happens before you are married. Let me give you the gist of what I think this verse is saying. In those days, people didn’t get engaged. They were betrothed. When they were betrothed, they were for all intents and purposes, married—except that they could not engage in marital relations. It was the opposite of living together. Today, couples live together in order to engage in marital relations without the commitment or responsibility that comes with marriage. Betrothal was the opposite. They took on all the responsibilities of marriage without the benefit of sex. And the only way out of betrothal was divorce. If during that period of betrothal, one of the people was found unfaithful, they would divorce. But since their unfaithfulness happened before they were actually married, the legal term used in the divorce decree was “fornication”—not “adultery.” That means that verse 9 is talking about putting away a wife in the same way that Joseph was going to put Mary away quietly when she turned up pregnant with Jesus. Jesus is saying that in that instance… if a betrothal is broken because of infidelity, the one who did not commit the infidelity is free to marry another person. The bottom line is… Jesus set an extremely high standard. When two people are married, they are married for life. No exceptions. Now, when we hear that we can do one of two things. We can either close our eyes to the text and deny it, or we can do like the disciples did. We can sit here with our mouths hanging open and say what they said in verse 10: “Jesus, if that’s the way that it really is, it’s best not to get married at all.” But Jesus doesn’t leave us there, does He? Like everything, He leaves us with two options. He leaves us with a law option. And He leaves us with a grace option.
The law option was where the Pharisees were trying to go in verse 7. But Jesus had to clear them up on some things. They were trying to find loopholes in the law, so Jesus had to clarify them on it. First, in verse 8, Jesus told them what the law doesn’t do. Notice what the Pharisees did in verse 7. They said that Moses (the law) COMMANDED divorce. They’re referring back to Deuteronomy 24:1-4. The law isn’t commanding people to divorce. It isn’t even endorsing divorce. It’s doing the same thing that happens all throughout the law. It happens with slavery. It happens with murder. It happens with polygamy. When the law speaks of those things, it is not saying that God approves of them. God is saying that He knows that we are evil people who will do evil things. And when we wrongly choose to do evil things, this is how to deal with that. In other words, you are going to go against my will and divorce each other. So when you do, this is how you need to handle it. If you treat each other unjustly, you are compounding your sin. If you remarry, you are compounding your sin. If you divorce and remarry, don’t think you can fix it by divorcing the second spouse and going back and remarrying the first one. You can’t. That bed has been defiled. The bridge has been burned. That’s what the law was doing. It wasn’t giving them an option to divorce. It was regulating their already bad behavior. That’s what the law always does, doesn’t it? The law is there to restrain sin. But even as the law is restraining our sin, it is showing us a standard that we cannot live up to. It shows us the bondage that we are truly in. Galatians 3:23-24 says, “Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith.” The law is there to teach us that our attempts at righteousness will always fall short of what God expects of us. It teaches us God’s holy standard. And it shows us how far we fall short of that standard. It shows us that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. And when it shows us how far we fall short, it shows us how desperately we need grace. See, the Pharisees wanted to chase after the law option about divorce. So Jesus showed them where that road leads. There is no flexibility in the law. The standard is perfection. The standard according to the law is that divorce is never an option. No wonder the disciples said that it’s better to never get married. If you chase after the law option, that’s the only response you’re left with. But there is a better way. And that is the grace option.
Divorce is sin. There is no getting around it. According to Jesus’ clear exposition of the law, divorce for any reason whatsoever is sin. It is an act of unrighteousness before a holy God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says, “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.” But then Paul continues in verse 11: “And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.” What does the law do? It shows us our need for grace. Divorce is a sin just like every other sin. It isn’t unpardonable. It isn’t a scarlet letter of shame that you have to bear. Jesus died for that sin just like He died for every other sin. And by His grace, He will cover that sin with His blood just like He will cover every other sin. His grace will not take away the temporal consequences of divorce. We have to live with those. Families will still have to deal with issues. Children will still suffer. Single parents will still struggle. Society will suffer. Our witness will be hindered. But the good news is that the Grace of Christ will forgive a broken covenant. If you have been divorced and are remarried, the grace of Christ will forgive that adultery. The grace of Christ will even recognize and even bless a subsequent marriage. What does it take? It takes confession. That means that you agree with Jesus that your sin is as ugly as He thinks it is. If you are justifying your divorce and saying that you had every right to do it, that’s not confession. It wasn’t your marriage in the first place. You didn’t have any right to put it asunder. Confess your sin before Christ. Repent of your sin. That means for you to turn from it. The things that caused your marriage to fall apart in the first place—turn from them. If you are in a new marriage—honor that covenant. It is a valid covenant. Make it for life this time. Confess your sin. Repent of your sin. Turn to Christ. Submit to Him as the Lord of your life. If you love Him, you will obey His commands. Now, I’ve said all those things in the context of divorce. But do you remember the passage in 1 Corinthians 6:11? “Such were some of you.” You might be single. You might be happily married here this morning. But sin is sin. And any sin is an offense before a holy God. The grace of Christ has paid for your sin. The Bible says that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and will believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved. If Jesus is not your Lord this morning, He can be. All you have to do is confess your sin before Him. Turn from it in repentance. And turn to Him in faith believing. Will you do that this morning?
