Sex and Marriage
So how does the topic of sex and marriage come up as a sermon theme you might ask? Last week I was talking with some of our men while waiting for Sunday morning church goers to arrive. Typically we men were talking about cars and Rob and Bruce mentioned a huge car show that was held in London, Ontario at the estate of Steven Plunkett.
Don also joined our conversation and shared that he had worked on a bus owned by the Badder family that was on display at the Plunkett Estate Car Show. After we talked about cars for awhile the men informed me that Steven Plunkett was the heir of a vast family fortune made possible by the discoveries and financial rewards associated to his father Dr. Earl Plunkett who was a major contributor to the modern birth control pill as well as vitro birth control science.
So ladies it should now be clear why it is men talk about cars and sex in the same conversation since you now know how they are inextricably linked thanks to Dr. Plunkett.
To set the record straight we did not talk about sex and marriage though I am sure I could have gleaned a wealth of knowledge from these men and their wisdom on that subject. But the fact that birth control science was mentioned got me to thinking on the subject at hand.
The topic of sex and marriage always creates a great deal of interest and sometimes conflict or confusion for church folk. The first thing I want to dispel is that the title is not an oxymoron. Having been married for 26 years I know that sex is very much a part of marriage especially in the Christian home. In fact a happy Christian home must be just as happy in the bedroom as in the pew on Sunday morning.
To validate my statements on the subject I turn to scripture and as we already looked at Proverbs Chapter 5 we see the wisdom of Gods plan concerning marriage. This particular Proverb was written by King Solomon reputed to be the wisest man that ever lived.
God asked Solomon what he would choose to be blessed with. Solomon chose wisdom and the result of that choice caused God to bless Solomon with other great gifts.
2 Chronicles 1:11
11 God said to Solomon, Since this is your hearts desire and you have not asked for wealth, riches or honor, nor for the death of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge to govern my people over whom I have made you king, 12 therefore wisdom and knowledge will be given you. And I will also give you wealth, riches and honor, such as no king who was before you ever had and none after you will have.
So what we have from Solomon is the wisdom literature concerning sex and marriage.
It may surprise you to know but I even studied this subject at Knox College as we discussed another famous portion of scripture the Song of Solomon which is the love letter of a king.
In the weeks to follow we will discover together more on this subject as we look to what King Solomon wrote as inspired by God.
Today I want to discuss the topic of faithfulness in marriage and how we are under attack by our old fallen nature, our current social values and our enemy the devil. You can see that every marriage has a lot to contend with before we even get to the mother in law jokes.
In this passage Solomon is giving us advice and a warning about what we are all up against as married people. Adultery is not a new phenomenon in the church or in society. Just as I quoted last week Solomon reminds us that there is nothing new under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 1:9 NIV
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.
God in his wisdom made women attractive so that we men would pursue them to the altar and enjoy what God had instituted as a marriage relationship. That we would be drawn to each other in love and that we would be fruitful and multiply. Some of you are very good at math.
Sexual relationships outside of the marriage covenant are willfully breaking Gods law and our vows to stay faithful to one another as man and wife. The Believers Commentary page 803 says…Respectable citizens who have secret immoral liaisons whether literally or through pornography, x-rated films, and videos often find themselves the victims.
Solomon warns his sons that temptation is very deceptive for the married man. The other woman may look desirable as in verse three but the end result is bitter and cuts like a two edged sword. That kind of sword cuts on its way in and on its way out.
In our time we have much to contend with. We have each other man and woman. We are very different. We are sinners in need of salvation. Once changed by Gods Holy Spirit we need to walk in the Spirit and not the old nature.
Galatians 5:16-18
16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17 For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever [c] you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
The marriage bed is to be undefiled.
Hebrews 13:4
4Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept pure) for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.
For the Christian marriage promises joy and pleasure and fruitfulness from the sexual relationship which is an extension of the spiritual relationship of becoming one flesh a blessing and gift from God
Genesis 2:24 NIV
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Remember when I said that the phrase sex and marriage is not an oxymoron? The bible puts it this way.
1 Corinthians 7:4 NIV
The wifes body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husbands body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.
We are not to use sex as a reward or as part of our arsenal of weapons when we argue in our marriage relationship.
There is to be room for only one woman in the Christian mans heart.
Ephesians 5:25 NIV
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
We husbands are to be sacrificial when it comes to our wives. Jesus gave up His life for us and we husbands are to sacrifice for our wives to the same extent.
Ephesians 5:28 NIV
In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
1 Peter 3:1 NIV
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
Let us be faithful, loving Christian couples who live out the word of God in our marriages and thereby enjoy all that God had intended our relationship to be.
