During the course of our series, "Your Bucket List," we have been looking at the things we need to do, or the things we need to prioritize in our life before we "kick the bucket." The Bible says our life here on earth is but a breath, our days are like a passing shadow (Ps. 39:5; 144:4). In other words our time is brief. People tell me the older you get the faster time goes. Because our time is so short, there are important things we intend to do but we never seem to get around to. We keep putting them off until later, but later never comes.
I remember going to a weeklong pastor licensing school while I was in Kentucky, and one of the pastors shared a story about this man in the community he kept inviting to church, but every time he asked the man to come he would respond, "oh, I’ll get around it." But he never did show up. So one day this pastor was at a store and noticed a coin with an interesting inscription on it. It said, "round to it." It was a ’round to it’ coin. So this pastor got an idea, he bought it and went to the man and said, "every time I invite you to church you say you will ’get around to it,’ so here’s a ’round to it’ coin. So now that you have gotten a ’round to it’ I expect to see you this Sunday." And the funny thing was, the man did come to worship that Sunday.
We know we tend to push things off that we know we need to do. That’s why I began this series with the New Year because we tend to be more open to making changes in our life when the calendar turns over, for some it’s like getting a fresh start. So to help the process, I have been encouraging us to create our own ’bucket list’ as a way of thinking about the things we aren’t doing but should be, or what we would like to accomplish before we leave this earth. As we close out our series today I hope you’ve at least given some thought and consideration to the areas of your life which you need to focus on for the future, especially areas like faith and your relationship with God, or like we talked about last week, your family relationships, your relationship with our spouse, our children, relations. We talked about making it a priority to strengthen our marriages and be ambassadors of reconciliation with our families. In other words God expects us to help restore broken relationships, whether that brokenness was caused by our own words or actions, or someone else’s.
We continue on the theme of relationships because God values relationships. Jesus said the two most important things you can do here on earth are to love God and love others. It is our relationships which make us or break us. It is our relationships, first with God and then with others, which we will be judged by when we meet God face to face.
The Priority of Relationships
God created us for community and relationships but we often fail to give these the same priority God does. Our human tendency is either to avoid relationships, not having very many close friendships, or we have superficial relationships, these are relationships where we don’t reveal anything about ourselves, we just know each other on a surface level. We talk about the latest weather, sports, the latest breaking news, the latest gossip, but nothing about what’s really going on inside us or in our lives. These aren’t really relationships or friendships but acquaintances. Generally speaking, this is more true of men than women. Men for some reason have a harder time developing these friendships. Other people only keep relationships that are convenient for them, or relationships where they get something out of it ("what’s in it for me").
Illustration -- Allstate commercial
A humorous example of the depth of men’s relationships is the Allstate commercial with the two guys out in the parking lot before a football game tailgating behind their car in a stadium dressed in their team’s colors. Because there have been several of these commercials over the years with these same two guys heading to the games together, you get the impression that they are pretty good friends. The commercial begins with a guy walking by them while they are tailgating before the game and says hello to one of them, calling him by name.
"Why did he call you Vince?"
"Because that’s my name."
"How did he know that?"
"He’s my Allstate agent. He insures my car, my boat."
"You have a boat?"
"Yeah my wife is an awesome water-skier?"
"You’re married?"
You’re like, do these guys talk about anything other than football? Do they know anything about each other? Apparently not. It is a superficial relationship. They are acquaintances, not friends.
God wants us to be a part of community, to have healthy, life filling relationships, friendships. Last fall during our 40 Days of Community campaign we used a daily devotional guide which took us through 40 "one another" statements in the Bible, which are things God wants us to do that can only be done when we’re in close relationship with other people, like love one another, encourage one another and build each other up (1 Thes. 5:11), spur one another on toward love and good deeds (Heb. 10:24), confess your sins to each other (James 5:16). Yet we tend not to foster these kinds of relationships.
If you don’t think this is true, look what happens every time we try to start small groups. They start strong, but then they start fizzling? How many small groups have continued from the 40 Days of Community, and how many who said they were going to continue have met this year? It’s the 25th of January. This plays right into the devils hands because it’s easier for him to target us when we are isolated, we are more vulnerable.
Being a Positive Influence on Others, Investing in Relationships
God wants us to invest in relationships for the benefit of each other. Relationships aren’t just about what we get out of them, they are about what we can give.
There’s a passage of Scripture where Jesus was teaching about money and he makes a curious statement. He says (I’m reading it out of the NLT to make it a little clearer):
NLT Luke 16:9 I tell you, use your worldly resources to benefit others and make friends. In this way, your generosity stores up a reward for you in heaven.
When I first read this passage it sounds like we need to pay people off just to be our friend. Here’s a ten, will you be my friend? But that’s not what he’s saying. As followers of Jesus we are to use our resources to help those in need or to help make friends to influence them in a positive, Christ affirming way, because this earthly investment will bring eternal rewards. We can use our resources to help people move closer to Christ. We invest in others, even sometimes at personal sacrifice, for their benefit, although there is an eternal reward.
I’m willing to bet that each one of you here this morning has had someone who was willing to invest in your life, with their time, with their resources. As a mental exercise, I want you to think of one person who has made the greatest positive impact on your life (it might be spiritually impact with your faith or it might just be in general)? It could be a family member; a parent, a grandparent, a spouse, brother or sister, aunt or uncle; it could be a family friend, a teacher, or Sunday school teacher, or church member. Imagine that person in your mind. What was it about them that made an impact on you? Did they take time to invest in your life? Did they believe in you? Did they encourage you? Did they have certain qualities which you admired? That person invested in you. They were a gift from God to you.
If that person is still alive write them a note this week thanking them for the impact they have made in your life. Be as specific as possible about what it was they have done and how it has benefited you. Don’t wait to express it at their funeral or before they are gone.
Now let me ask you, how are you being that kind of person to someone else?
We have been using the movie The Bucket List, during our series as a bridge to understand what God teaches us through Scripture about what our priorities in life should be. This clip from the movie is towards the end at Carter’s funeral, he died from cancer and Edward shares what Carter meant to him.
(Clip #12 Edward gives the eulogy at Carter’s funeral and shares how Carter "saved his life" even though he was a perfect stranger)
Carter helped Edward find the "joy in his life", which was reconciling with his daughter before he died. Could it be said about us at our funeral that we saved someone else’s life? Our investment of time in their life, or that our friendship made a difference for them? Perhaps we helped them have a more abundant life in this earth? Or perhaps even more importantly we helped lead them to eternal life by pointing them to the Lord? Will someone live eternally with God because of us?
Speaking Words of Life, Speaking the Truth in Love
At some point, helping "save" somebody, a friend, a person we have a relationship with will require us to speak the truth in love to them. To save someone means they need to make a change in their life, and someone has to help guide them down that path revealing the truth of their situation. In the movie Carter and Edward developed a friendship not just because they were sharing in fun and momentous activities, but also because they started becoming authentic and open. They told the truth about their own life situation, what they were going through.
Carter began gently, and sometimes not so gently, nudging Edward to "find the joy in his life" and at one point there’s a scene at the end of the movie where Carter pushes a little harder and takes a detour on the way home and brings Edward literally to his daughters front door to make amends. But it doesn’t go so well. Edward yells and swears at Carter for meddling in his business and drives off in his car leaving Carter and Edwards personal assistant there to find a ride home for themselves. Doing the right thing for a friend isn’t always the most popular thing to do.
In our passage from John’s gospel this morning Jesus said:
NRS John 15:15 I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father.
Jesus could call his disciples friends because he shared with them everything his heavenly Father had revealed to him. As a friend he spoke God’s truth in love. Some of it they wanted to hear and some of it they didn’t. A true friend isn’t just someone who just engages in small talk about football, or the latest news, or the weather, or tells us what we want to hear. A true friend is someone who invests in our life but also tells the truth in love. Who shares the truth from God’s perspective. If we really care about someone shouldn’t we share the truth with them? Shouldn’t we share God’s good news? Even if it may not be what they want to hear at the time.
Jesus concludes this passage in John by telling his disciples, his friends, that if they follow his path, live the way he lived, do the things he does, they will be persecuted too. Jesus is saying the same to us, if we follow his example, if we love the way he loved, which included telling God’s truth in love, we can count on being persecuted, ridiculed, even rejected by the same friends you are trying to help. Are we willing to take up that cross, even at the risk of losing a friendship or relationships? Unfortunately, people don’t always want to know the truth or live by the truth, or they reject the truth as just being our perspective (well that may be the way you see it). They want to continue living in a world they have created for themselves. Are we willing to do what’s right even if it may mean sacrificing a friendship? It’s the most loving thing we can do. God’s way is the best way to live.
Conclusion:
Is there someone God is revealing to you that he wants you to invest your life in? Is there someone God is leading you to make a positive impact on? Is there a spiritual friendship that we have neglected which we need to renew? Is there a truth God is leading you to share with someone you currently have a relationship with, but you have resisted out of fear of rejection, or not wanting to hurt them? Let’s pray about it and see what God wants us to do in response to his word.
