Let’s paint a BROAD PICTURE of Generation Y. The fountain of all internet knowledge, WIKIPEDIA, says that Generation Y were born in the mid-1980s through to the early 1990s. Gen Y are the OFFSPRING of the post-World War 2 baby-boomers. They were WEANED on instant communication technologies such as EMAIL and texting. Generation Y like to SOCIALISE using websites such TWITTER and FACEBOOK. Not to mention any names, Gen Y couples especially like to ANNOUNCE their engagement on Facebook.
A CBS REPORT says that Generation Y ‘were raised by doting parents who told them they are special, played in little leagues with no winners or losers, or all winners. They are laden with trophies just for participating and they think your business-as-usual ethic is for the birds […] this generation only takes "yes" for an answer’.
So how do you SPEAK to a Gen Y person in the WORKPLACE? One CHEEKY report says, ‘You do have to speak to them a little bit like a therapist on TELEVISION might speak to a patient. You CAN’T be harsh. You CANNOT tell them you’re disappointed in them. You CAN’T really ask them to live and breathe the company BECAUSE they’re living and breathing themselves and that keeps them very busy. These young people will tell you what time their YOGA CLASS is and the day’s work will be organized around the fact that they have this commitment. So you actually ENVY them. How wonderful it is to be young and have your priorities so clear’.
For the postmodern, Gen Y person life is like a game—or perhaps more like a CARNIVAL where costumes are whimsically changed in order to present a TEMPORARY but convenient face to the world. Indeed, for Gen Y there is NO absolute self, only a never ending parade of MASKS that hide the inner self. Gen Y are living on SHIFTING sand. Gone are the philosophical and social ABSOLUTES that anchored life in certainty. In a shifting, radically MOVING technological world, Gen Y live and move by constantly MORPHING themselves to survive in a pluralistic society.
And so which self is the REAL self? Who is the REAL self to be known and loved by a marriage partner? Is it possible to enter into a RELATIONSHIP of commitment and intimacy when I really DON’T know who I am? In the wedding vows, WHO is the ‘I’ in the ‘I do’? Middleton and Walsh say, ‘Indeed, instead of long-term commitment, the postmodern self just moves on—to the next game, to the next show, to the next relationship (59) […Gen Y does not have] enough self-knowledge to be able to enter into a relationship of committed intimacy with one another (57)’.
Greg and Rachel, LIKE the generations before them, had NO say when they were born—they had no say in the SHIFTING philosophical mood of the 1980s and 90s which shaped their childhood. However, and for us all, the time in which we live is DETERMINED by the providence of God. Paul told the Athenians in Acts 17 that God DETERMINES the times and exact places where people live and he did this ‘so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us’ (Acts 17:26–27).
Greg and Rachel have REACHED OUT and found the God who made them, for by grace, he was NEVER that far away. And the God who made them also CALLED them into the kingdom of his Son. And so Greg and Rachel are NOT typical Gen Y people—they are distinctively CHRISTIAN, Gen Y people swimming against the postmodern tide. And with this call to HOLINESS comes enormous JOY, serious RESPONSIBILITY and a call to MISSION—and I briefly want to talk about these three points today.
First, the JOY of marriage. It’s possible for non-Christian COUPLES to have a great marriage—but its NOT possible to realise the full potential of marriage outside relationship with God. For marriage is a GIFT from God. Marriage is a life-long COMMITMENT to one another. Marriage is a move away from SINGLENESS into a relationship with another person, who incidentally is of the opposite sex. And this relationship is to be maintained ‘unto death do us part’.
God designed marriage to MIRROR the very essence of himself. Selwyn Hughes writes, ‘God is invisible, intangible, and inaudible. He can’t be seen, he can’t be touched. He has designed us in such a way that the closer and purer our relationships, the more we will understand him. In marriage God has developed a plan that […] enables a man and a woman to have a clearer picture of God than they had when they first began’.
And so the man BECOMES the minister to his wife, making God more real; and she becomes the MINISTER of God to him, giving him a clearer picture of how much he is LOVED and respected by God. In this cradle of relationships comes much joy and pleasure.
It all started in GEN 2 where we read, ‘But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man”’.
Here is some beautiful HEBREW poetry which describes the joy of marriage. The problem for us is that we are so removed that we don’t immediately see it. So let me PARAPHRASE: Adams says, ‘Thankyou Lord, she’s a little ripper. She beats a giraffe any day!’ Someone once wrote:
She was not made from his head to top him,
Nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him,
But out of his side to be equal with him,
Under his arm to be protected,
And near his heart to be loved.
God is NOT shy or squeamish about the PLEASURES to be found within marriage, ‘How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. How handsome you are my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is luxurious’ (Song of Songs 1:15–16). The God-given JOY of marriage.
SECOND, the responsibilities of marriage. It’s helpful to say that INDIVIDUAL responsibilities before God do not diminish in a marriage relationship. We heard this VERSE a little earlier, ‘For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do’ (Eph 2:10).
Every Christian, whether single or married, is being RESHAPED to live in holiness. For it is the GIFT of holiness that allows us to fellowship with a holy God. As people CHOSEN by God, Greg an Rachel must SAFEGUARD their personal relationship with God—as the apostle says, ‘clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity’ (Col 3:12–14).
God calls us to DISPLAY these personal qualities which, if you look at the list, are all RELATIONAL qualities. They are to be seen in the CHURCH and they are to be seen in our relationships with one another. And certainly, these QUALITIES of holiness—these FRUITS of the Spirit—will bind a marriage together. These are SACRIFICIAL, servant-like qualities. Every husband and wife here today will testify to the IMPORTANCE of compassion, kindness, humility, patience, forgiveness—love—these are the God-given BUILDING BLOCKS of a happy marriage.
Greg and Rachel, it is INCUMBENT upon you as a Christian couple, to SERVE one another as Christ has served you. Gen Y are known as the ‘me’ generation’ and this has NO PLACE in your marriage. Rather, just as your SAVIOUR laid down his life for you, you are to LAY DOWN you life for one another. LATER in Colossians (and I notice it wasn’t part of the reading), Paul zooms in on areas that Christian couples especially need to WORK hard on, ‘Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them’ (Col 3:18–19).
Greg and Rachel, take SERIOUSLY your responsibilities to God and to one another as summed up in the VOWS that you are making to one another today.
And THIRDLY and finally: marriage and mission. Christian couples are MISSIONARY couples. Greg and Rachel, we pray that you will have hearts which YEARN for a lost world, that your life together will be one of REACHING OUT into a perishing world. This is your wedding service, but in one sense it is a COMMISSIONING service. Go and do WHATEVER the Lord calls you to do! Don’t be bogged down by foolish pursuits and the SEDUCTIVENESS of the postmodern, Gen Y culture.
In the Book of Ecclesiastes, the Teacher looks at the FUTILITY of a godless life and he says, ‘Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless. What does a man gain from all his labour at which he toils under the sun?’ (Ecc 1:2–3). The EXPECTED answer is ‘nothing’. It’s a good summary of our EMPTY, vacuous world. Soon you’ll be Mr and Mrs Shipp. So in ADVANCE I say, ‘Don’t return to that vacuous world from which who have been called, for God has “rescued you from the dominion of darkness and brought you into the kingdom of his Son”’ (Col 1:13).
At the end of Ecclesiastes the writer CONCLUDES, ‘Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come (which is old age) […] Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man’ (Ecc 12:13).
Greg and Rachel, GOD rejoices in your wedding, your PARENTS love you are proud of you, and WE are overjoyed to be here and CELEBRATE your special day. We pray that the JOY of marriage will never fade, we pray that you will rise to the RESPONSIBILITIES that come with marriage, and we pray that you will go back into our culture with the good news of the Lord Jesus Christ.
