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The marriage debate is raging all over this nation. 31 states have amended their constitutions to define marriage as the union of one man and one woman. West Virginia isn’t one of them. West Virginia is one of the states who is relying on legislative Defense of Marriage Acts. The problem is, the eight states that now legally recognize homosexual marriage, used to have Defense of Marriage Acts. In each of their cases, DOMA was overturned by their state supreme courts. In each of those cases, the question has been, who gets to define what marriage is? Is it the government that gets to define or redefine marriage? The answer to that question is—no. Government does not get to define marriage. Society does not get to define marriage. Petitions and polls and public opinion does not get to define marriage. Why? Because marriage has already been defined. It was defined by the One who created it. It was defined in our passage this morning by the One who designed it in the first place. The Bible tells us that God created three human institutions. He created human government. He created the church. And He created marriage. You would think that He would have created the church first. But He didn’t. He didn’t create the church until the Day of Pentecost in Acts 2. What about human government? Did God create that institution first? No—He didn’t institute human government until after the flood in Genesis 9 when He instituted the death penalty. So it wasn’t the church and it wasn’t human government. The first human institution that God created was marriage. That must mean it’s pretty important in God’s eyes, don’t you think? And make no mistake about it, God is the One who created marriage. Look at the words that are used in our passage. Verse 18 says, “and the Lord God said.” Then it says, “I will make.” Then verse 21 says, “And the Lord God caused… and He took… and He closed…” Verse 22: “He made… He brought.” That makes it pretty clear whose idea this was, doesn’t it? Adam didn’t sit there and think, “Boy, I sure would like to have someone to talk to.” He didn’t ask God for a helpmeet. It was God’s idea and God’s design and God did it. Marriage is completely and totally God’s doing. It is not our bright idea to stabilize society. God created it and God designed it. He literally removed a piece of Adam’s flesh and bone from him. Then He fashioned a woman from it—flesh of his very flesh and bone of his very bone. But at the same time unique and distinct from him. And then God made a way for that separated flesh and bone to be reunited back together. The design is beautiful. It is incredibly complex, but at the same time it’s incredibly simple. Everybody knows what it is, but no one can truly explain its richness and depth. Such a wonderfully simple and complex design can only come from a God who is the same way. How can you explain the complexities of God being three in one? How can you explain Jesus being fully man and fully God at the same time? God is so complex and unexplainable that even the most brilliant minds are humbled by Him. But at the same exact time, even the simplest child can know Him. I might not be able to explain the intricacies of the Trinity, but I can sing with all my heart—Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. The way God designed marriage is the same way. And only a God like that could design an institution like that. Not only did God design marriage, He also presided over it. Look at what happened in verse 22. After God created Eve, He didn’t just step back and let things happen. What did He do? He brought her unto the man. Do you see the picture there? God not only created the institution, He presides over it. We have a tradition in our weddings that we ask a question at the beginning. We ask, “Who gives this woman to this man to be wed?” And then usually the father of the bride says, “I do.” That symbolizes the fact that the father is bringing his daughter to the man. But that is just a symbol. Because God is the one who brings her. Even today—wherever it happens. Whether the wedding is in the courthouse or Vegas or in a local church… when a man and woman are married God presides over the wedding just like He presided over the very first one. He might not be invited… but it’s His institution and He will preside over it. He created it, He designed it, He presides over it and He presents the bride to be married. And as He does, He seals it. Look at verse 24. What word does it begin with? Therefore. In other words, because God created marriage. Because He designed it. Because He presides over the wedding. Because He gives the bride away. Because of those things, He seals it. He seals it by reuniting the flesh and bone that was separated in the creative act of making the woman. They are now sealed together as one. Cleaved together. One flesh. Well, that’s all okay in theory. All that stuff might have worked back in the day. But this is a new time. This is a new world. Things are different today. They are? What do you base that on? Has God changed? No—God hasn’t changed. And His reasons for instituting marriage in the first place haven’t changed. God had two main reasons for creating the institution of marriage and those have not changed. As a matter of fact, on this side of eternity, they will never change. God created marriage to provide for our needs. And God created marriage to picture His nature. First, God created marriage to provide for our needs. Look at verse 18:
GENESIS 2:18
Human beings have needs, don’t we? Now, before we go any further, we need to clear something up. I don’t care what our culture says, sex is not a need. It is a very strong desire, but it’s not a need. You need food. You need water. You need a relationship with God. You don’t need sex. The idea that human beings need sex is another lie that has grown from evolutionary philosophy. The whole concept of survival of the fittest says that those with the strongest libido are the ones who survive while the rest are weak and die off. Because of that, they say that sex is a human necessity and any attempt to repress that drive is unhealthy and will make you go crazy. They say that the only way for a human being to be healthy is to fulfill every sex drive. That is a lie. Because outside of the covenant bonds of marriage, sex is destructive. And even within the bonds of marriage… if sex becomes the dominant feature of your marriage… it can still be destructive. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. That is a human need—not sex. So if God created marriage to provide for our needs… and sex is only a desire and isn’t one of those needs… then what needs are we talking about? We’re talking about the need for relationship. God is a triune being. He has always existed as Father, Son and Spirit. And because He has always existed as Father, Son and Spirit, God has always existed in perfect relationship. He created us in His image. That means a lot of things, but one thing it means is that He created us with a built in need for relationship. It is in our fundamental nature to desire relationship. God showed Adam his need for that relationship in verses 19-20. God created every species of animal and paraded them before Adam. And Adam related to them. That’s what happens when you name a pet, isn’t it? A puppy can come around your house all it wants to. But when you name it, it’s yours. When you name it, you become attached to it. So, Adam had a whole world full of pets that he was attached to. But even though he was attached to them, he couldn’t have a true relationship with him. He couldn’t have a relationship with them, because they were not his equals. So, that longing for relationship was still there. And God showed Adam that it wasn’t good for him to be alone. God created a helpmeet for him. Not another pet. Not a servant. Not an inferior being. There was an old country song that talked about Adam telling Eve that she was nothing but a rib. What a misconception of what really happened here. The word literally refers to a piece of the side. The fact is, we don’t really know how much of Adam’s side that God used. The word can literally mean that God carved out his whole side. It doesn’t really matter, because God closed up the wound. God created Adam’s body, He could do anything He wanted to it. What matters is why God did it that way. God created woman from Adam’s own flesh and bones. He created her as a part of him. But at the same time, that part was removed. Although Eve was from part of Adam, she was distinct from him. She was her own person. She had her own personality. She had a mind of her own. And she stood as an individual, competent soul before God. Even though she was fashioned from Adam’s side, Genesis 1:27 says that she was God’s image bearer, just the same as Adam was. From eternity past, God has existed in a relationship of equals between God the Father, God the Son and God the Spirit. God created Adam in His image, so he needed to exist in a relationship of equals. God gave him that relationship with one who was his very own flesh and bones. The woman who was created different than him, designed with very different features and characteristics, and designed for different roles, but at the same time, his equal in every way. God designed marriage as the only way to fulfill that innate need for a relationship between very different equals. He also designed marriage to give us a picture of a relationship of unequals. No matter how hard we try, we can’t fathom an infinite God with our finite minds. We cannot grasp who God is and what He has done for us. We can’t grasp how much He loves us and the nature of His love for us. So He had to give us a picture. Not only did God create marriage to provide for our needs, He created marriage to picture His nature.
God created marriage to picture His nature. How can we begin to grasp the permanence of God? How can we begin to grasp His faithfulness? How can we begin to grasp the covenant nature of God? We can’t—until we see the picture in God’s design for marriage. In verse 24, God uses some interesting words. Remember who He’s talking to here. He’s talking to Adam. Adam didn’t have a father and mother. But after Adam said with amazement the words in verse 23, God told him what the nature of this union would be for all of human history. God told Adam that when He brings a man and woman together in marriage, they will form a new life together. Parents and in-laws are great, but they are to not part of the marriage union. The husband’s experiences in his family prior to marriage are in the past. The wife’s experiences at home growing up are in the past. Those were their old lives. They now have a new life to live together as one. What part of God’s nature does that picture? Let me give you a verse that might help you. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” When a man is united in covenant marriage to his wife, old things are passed away—all things are become new. When a person is united to Christ in salvation, old things are passed away—all things are become new. Marriage is a picture of God’s regenerating nature. It is also a picture of God’s covenant nature. Verse 24 not only says that a man shall leave his father and mother… it also says that he shall cleave unto his wife. The word “cleave” brings a certain picture to our mind that’s a good one. It brings to mind a picture of two separated things being inseparably physically fused together. That’s a good picture, but we all know that marriages can be physically broken apart, don’t we. We see it all around us. But here was the picture that the Hebrew reader would get. They would understand that the words used here not only represented physical union. They also represented words that were used in covenants. In those days, when people made a covenant, they would swear that death was the only thing that would break the promise. Words like the ones translated into “leave” and “cling” were used all the time in covenants during the days when Moses wrote this account. So, his readers would have completely understood that when God spoke those words to Adam, He was telling Adam that he was entering a permanent covenant. Just as God’s covenants are permanent and unconditional, the marriage covenant is supposed to be a picture of that. The one flesh union is a picture of God’s total devotion to us and what is supposed to be our total devotion to Him. God was so totally devoted to us that He was willing to sacrifice His only Son to win us to Himself. And we are called to forsake all others and have no God before Him—loving Him with all of our mind and heart and soul and strength. And verse 25 says that the man and his wife were both naked and unashamed. How does that picture God’s nature? Because our relationship with God is to be one of abandoned ecstasy. There are no secrets with God. We can’t hide our flaws from Him. He knows us better than we will ever know ourselves. We are completely exposed and vulnerable with him. And He still loves us. Marriage is supposed to be a picture of that.
I know that each of us have come here with different experiences with marriage this morning. Some of those experiences are far from the design and intend God created marriage with. Your marriage might be far from ideal. You might not be married. You might be trying to enjoy the benefits of marriage outside of its covenant bonds. You might have come from a broken marriage. If marriage is a picture of God’s nature, your picture might be pretty messed up. But just because your picture is messed up, doesn’t mean that God is. You see, if your covenant has been broken, God is still faithful. Even if you have been left or forsaken, Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you. I can take a picture of my wife and rip it to shreds. But just because I’ve destroyed the picture doesn’t do anything to hurt the original. Just because you might not know what it’s like to be completely transparent and vulnerable to a spouse, you can know what it’s like to be that way with Jesus. He is faithful. He is permanent. He will never leave you alone. All you have to do is trust Him. Trust the original, and let Him work on what the picture looks like.
