THE LIMITS OF FORGIVENESS
MATTHEW 18:21-35
INTRODUCTION… iGoogle Widget: ‘Things to Ponder’
Have you ever asked a dumb question? I have to admit that I have. On my last trip out of town, I had to make a bank deposit in Virginia. For some reason, out of my mouth came, “Can I deposit here in Virginia even though I live in Florida?” I bank with a national bank and I knew the answer, but I still asked it anyway. Without skipping a beat, the teller said, “No, we only accept Virginia money.” I felt dumb. I laughed. She looked at me and thought I was dumb. I had asked the question and knew the answer, but had asked it anyway!
Have you ever asked a dumb question? Here are some questions you may have asked…
[From ‘things to ponder’ widget from iGoogle]
Do little angels have car seats in their chariots in Heaven?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?
Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn’t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
You may consider some of those questions dumb and some of those questions not so dumb. This morning, we are going to look at a question that is asked that on the surface seems like a silly question to ask, but in all honesty has a great deal of meaning for us.
I. PETER’S CONVERSATION WITH JESUS (MATTHEW 18:21-22)
READ Matthew 18:21-22
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
The passage begins with Peter reflecting on some teaching that Jesus had just explained. You see, in Matthew 18:15-17 Jesus had taught the disciples how to reconcile with people and how to persevere in difficult relationships. Jesus had explained the process of going to the person, speaking with them and allowing forgiveness to take place. I think Peter perhaps thought he was being generous when he asked his question. His question was a good one I think… until he asked a second one right after.
Peter first asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother?” Peter was rightly asking a follow-up question to what Jesus taught. Peter was asking how many times we should go to someone, share about what they have done to us, and work towards forgiveness. That is an insightful question! I believe it is an insightful question because you and I know that people make mistakes, they make them often, and they make the same ones repeatedly. The Apostle Paul confesses in Romans 7:18-19, “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-- this I keep on doing.” If you are breathing, you have the ability to sin against another person. It happens… and Peter realizes that it happens more than once between the same people! So, the first insightful question is asked, “how many times shall I forgive my brother,” but it is overshadowed by the second.
Peter immediately asks, in the same intelligent insightful instant, “Up to seven times?” I love Peter. I love that he has a question about the limits of forgiveness. Obviously, Jesus has just taught about forgiveness and Peter’s immediate thought is… ‘okay, how many times do I have to do that before I get to stick it to him.’ Peter’s immediate thought is… ‘okay, how many times do I have to forgive before the cycle of forgiveness ends.’ Peter mentions “seven times” which is not a bad number. In the Bible, the number “seven” is something that indicates completeness. So Peter is asking, how many times I forgive until I reach the limit of forgiveness… and Peter assumes it is “seven.” Seven times is the number that blood was sprinkled on the altar (Leviticus 4:6). Seven times is the number that priests walked around Jericho (Joshua 6:4), Elijah’s servant looks for rain (1 Kings 18:43), and Naaman dips in the Jordan River to be healed (2 Kings 5:10). Seven was a good number and a logical number to assume was the limit of forgiveness.
Peter wants to know about the limits of forgiveness because it is obvious to him, I think, that forgiveness has to have a limit… there has to be a number of times after a person sins against you in the same way… over and over and over… that you finally stop forgiving them.
ILLUSTRATION… www.opsi.gov.uk
As I began to think and pray on the passage that we will uncover and talk about today, I started to think about “limits.” The most obvious limit I could think of was “speed limit.” A speed limit, of course, is the maximum speed allowed on a road for a vehicle. Believe it or not, the first speed limit was introduced in the United Kingdom in 1861 by the Locomotive Act… because these motorized carriages and wagons were considered “light locomotives”. A speed limit is designed for the good of all travelers for safety. If you violate the speed limit, you are in danger of death.
It makes total logical sense to Peter and to be honest, it makes perfect logical sense to me as well that forgiveness would have a limit… just like cars and trucks or salt intake or TV watching or anything else in this life. Everything has a limit.
> There has to be a limit on the number of times a person can be forgiven for the same sin
> There has to be a limit on the forgiveness a person gets based on how awful their action or words were
> There has to be a limit for forgiveness when dealing with difficult people
So, what are the limits for forgiveness? Jesus tells a parable to answer that very question.
II. THE PARABLE JESUS TELLS (MATTHEW 18:23-34)
READ Matthew 18:23-34 (power point used for the passage from www.thebricktestament.com)
“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. "The servant fell on his knees before him. ’Be patient with me,’ he begged, ’and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ’Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ’Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. "Then the master called the servant in. ’You wicked servant,’ he said, ’I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.”
This parable is Jesus’ answer to the question about the limits of forgiveness. Jesus tells an engaging story about a king who settles accounts with his servants. There are several important aspects of the story that we need to point out to help it all make sense for us.
First, in His parable, Jesus shows forgiveness and unforgiveness in action. As we hear or read the story, we see the king forgiving his servant a large sum of money. The servant’s debt was a huge sum of money, yet, because he asked and the king was generous and gracious, he was forgiven. That is forgiveness in action. Forgiveness is when there is a debt of some kind and the injured party chooses to forgo consequences against another. Jesus compares this action of forgiveness with the action of unforgiveness… and make no mistake, both forgiveness and unforgiveness are actions and choices. The forgiven servant goes out and finds a fellow servant who owes him a small debt. It was a small debt compared to what he just owed. Yet, the servant throws his fellow servant in prison. That is unforgiveness in action. Unforgiveness is when there is a debt of some kind and the injured party chooses to level consequences and judgment no matter what and keeps those consequences in plain view at all times.
ILLUSTRATION… Forgiving Others, Leadership Journal, Spring 1998, Vol.XIX, No. 2, p. 73
This is a widely told story, but one that I think shows the choice we make between forgiveness and unforgiveness. Chris Carrier of Coral Gables, Florida, was abducted when he was 10 years old. His kidnapper, angry with the boy’s family, burned him with cigarettes, stabbed him numerous times with an ice pick, then shot him in the head and left him to die in the Everglades. Remarkably, the boy survived, though he lost sight in one eye. No one was ever arrested. Recently, a man confessed to the crime. Carrier, now a youth minister, went to see him.
He found David McAllister, a 77-year-old ex-convict, frail and blind, living in a North Miami Beach nursing home. Carrier began visiting often, reading to McAllister from the Bible and praying with him. His ministry opened the door for McAllister to make a profession of faith.
No arrest is forthcoming; after twenty-two years, the statute of limitations on the crime is long past. In an interview [Christian Reader (Jan/Feb 98)], Carrier says, "While many people can’t understand how I could forgive David McAllister, from my point of view I couldn’t not forgive him. If I’d chosen to hate him all these years, or spent my life looking for revenge, then I wouldn’t be the man I am today, the man my wife and children love, the man God has helped me to be."
Second, in His parable, Jesus shows that the unforgiveness was unacceptable and something that causes great alarm. I want you to look back on the passage and notice in verse 31 that the unforgiveness was noticed by the other servants and they instinctively knew that what was happening was wrong. I think it is logical for us to think that they all knew about the huge debt that had been forgiven… that would have been big news! They were now watching this fellow servant and they knew the unmerciful unforgiving servant was sinning. They had seen the example of the grace of the king and seen forgiveness in action. Yet, when they left, they saw unforgiveness and knew immediately that it was wrong and went to tell the king of the disturbing things they had seen and heard.
Third, in His parable, Jesus shows that there are consequences for unforgiveness. At this point in the parable, we are supposed to be thinking like the king. The king had forgiven much… and he expected much. Let me repeat that, because it is essential for us to understand. The king had forgiven much… and he expected much. The king was angry with the unmerciful servant because he had not learned from the example shown to him. The consequence was two-fold. First, the king was now angry with the servant rather than gracious and forgiving. I don’t know about you, but if I had to pick, I would choose to fall into the good graces and forgiveness of a king rather than his anger. Second, the unmerciful servant was thrown into prison. His grudge, his bitterness, his unforgiveness had landed him in a prison of his own making.
III. THE LIMITS OF FORGIVENESS EXPLAINED (MATTHEW 18:35)
So, what about the original question: What are the limits for forgiveness?
The answer comes as we understand the parable and how it relates to us. Jesus says in Matthew 18:22, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times” and in Matthew 18:35, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” Peter and the rest of us were doing fine with limits on forgiveness until Jesus brings God into this whole thing! Peter wants to know the limit for the number of times he must forgive his brother from his heart. Peter wants to know when we can stop forgiving someone who sins repeatedly against us. The simple answer to the question: “What are the limits for forgiveness?” is that there are no limits. There are no limits on forgiveness… and THERE CAN’T BE.
I hope that you realize that we, just like the servant in the parable, have a real choice when it comes to forgiveness. We have the ability and the choice to forgive or not to forgive. Both of those choices are in our power. You see, in the parable, the king chose to forgive his servant and the servant chose not to forgive his fellow servant. The same choice and the same option that was present in the parable and present for you and I. Thus, there is no limit to forgiveness because forgiveness is an act of the will and a choice.
I hope that you realize that when you have an unforgiving way about you, others will notice… just like the unmerciful servant was noticed by his fellow servants. The fellow servants in the story noticed and those around you will notice as well. If you say you are a Christian, and yet you have a spirit of unforgiveness in your life, others will notice and they will find it disturbing! The people around you will begin to describe you with certain terms and phrases: holds a grudge, crotchety, mean-spirited, bitter, resentful, and things of that nature. A person with an unforgiving spirit is easy to pick out. A person with an unforgiving spirit is sinning by not forgiving. Thus, there is no limit to forgiveness because placing limits on forgiveness would produce sin inside of us.
I also hope you realize that the most important reason forgiveness has no limits is because God has forgiven much… and He expects much in return. This is not the only passage that talks about our forgiveness of others and God’s forgiveness of us being linked.
* Matthew 6:12 says, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
* Matthew 6:14-15 tells us plainly, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do no forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
* 2 Corinthians 2:10-11 says, “If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven-- if there was anything to forgive -- I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.”
* Colossians 3:13 commands us, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Hear the Word of the Lord! The King of Kings and Lord of Lords has forgiven US by sacrificing His One and Only Son and there are no limits on the forgiveness He offers. God forgives us time after time after time completely. In the parable, He is the King and we are the servant. He has forgiven us our great debt of sin! Thus, we are to forgive those around us without limits. The answer to Peter’s question is that you forgive your brother 77x [or 70x7] which is completeness multiplied. The answer to Peter’s question is that you forgive those around you without limits.
I can imagine us looking at this passage and seeing that it may not apply to us:
* Well preacher, you don’t know what my dad did to me.
* Well preacher, you don’t know what my husband did to me and said to me.
* … you don’t understand what my kids are like.
* … you don’t understand how my mother-in-law is.
* … you don’t get what my neighbor did to my family and my kids.
* … you don’t understand that my boss’ best friend is Satan.
I get it. So does God. But what does HE say? Matthew 18:35, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” I want you to know that our forgiveness is patterned after the forgiveness He has given to us. We must forgive. No limits.
CONCLUSION
