June 7, 2009
Just Say No!
Exodus 20:14
Matthew 5:27-28
An elderly couple was sitting by their fireplace, enjoying their evening. They were reminiscing about their years together, when the husband said to his wife, “After 50 years, I found you tried and true.” The wife, whose hearing was poor, asked, “What?” He said, “After 50 years I’ve found you tried and true.” To which she replied, “After 50 years, I’m tired of you, too.” Isn’t communication fun? But miscommunication, that can be a disaster.
We can have good natured fun at the differences between men and women. We can laugh at how men seem to react one way and women a totally different way over the very same issue. Even in the midst of frustration it’s surprising that we can laugh at ourselves and our differences. The title of John Gray’s 2002 book, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, sometimes seems right on. Yet, in spite of all of our differences, God has created men and women to live together, but sometimes that can be a real struggle.
I found a letter to Dear Abby, that makes its point loud and clear when it comes to today’s commandment. The letter goes like this . . .
How about a letter from a "winner?" My married lover left his wife for me. I was told that I wasn’t breaking up anything; his marriage was dead long before he met me; his wife had gotten fat. I was married too, but I assured him that my marriage was also over; my husband had gotten dull and boring. So I divorced my boring husband and he divorced his chubby wife. We both had children, but we explained that we were both in love and when they were older they would understand.
Our marriage was a dream come true. No more lying and sneaking around. At long last we were legally husband and wife for all the world to see. Our apartment was filled with modern furniture, old-fashioned guilt, and plenty of doubt and mistrust. Two years later he was meeting someone new. I told him he was a liar and a cheat. He said it took one to know one. And by the way, he had gotten a little dull and boring, and I had put on a little weight. Signed: A Winner.
This is the testimony of one person who followed the wisdom of the world, thinking “the grass is greener on the other side.” She wrote to express the regret that many experience who have listened to the cries of “so-called experts” and follow the example of celebrities.
SLIDEToday we are venturing into deep and stormy waters when we talk about the very simple command from God in this 7th commandment, “You shall not commit adultery.”
This is the shortest message I may ever give. Very simply God said don’t commit adultery . . . so don’t. Don’t give in to the temptations that are put before you. Don’t look, don’t touch, don’t give your heart, don’t give your mind, don’t give your body, don’t, don’t, don’t.
Do you understand me? Are you listening? DON’T!! DON’T!! DON’T!!
Okay, I’ve it, I’ve said exactly what God put in my heart! I should be done with my message. I really don’t think there’s much else that I need to say about adultery, but you know me, and you know I’ve always got something to say. So, strap yourself in, because today, like it or not, we’re getting pretty blunt about this topic.
Many people in our society claim there’s nothing wrong with having affairs, that our needs must be satisfied, and the only way to do that is to serve the god of lust and deception. The media has trained us to believe that there are no or at the minimum, there are limited consequences. I grew up with the popular TV show “The Love Boat.” It was like a modern day “Beverly Hills 90210” kind of show. The basic premise was that you get on the boat for three or four days; people find love and sleep together, then they come home happy. It wasn’t real life, but during the run of The Love Boat, the cruise industry grew by over 1,000 %. So, don’t tell me there weren’t people looking for love and romance, with Captain Stuebing, Julie, Gopher, Isaac and Doc greeting and blessing them.
Today’s television shows make The Love Boat look like the Dick Van Dyke show where Rob and Laura didn’t even sleep together. But today’s programs show people sleeping together without real consequences in their lives. When children and adults watch these programs, they begin to think about love in surreal terms. These programs lead many to think that married life will always be exciting, passion filled and romantic. As soon as you walk in the door, the fireworks will be shooting. We hope that will typify our life, but in reality that’s a fantasy.
SLIDEAdultery occurs because people are not passionate about who they should be passionate about, because they are passionate about someone they should not be passionate about! Let that one soak in. That’s a Deutsch original.
Remember Magic Johnson, the former great NBA player? He had people applauding him and calling him a hero for publically disclosing that he was HIV - positive. Yet, Magic and his loyal followers missed the point. The point was, he committed adultery. He sinned against God and his family. There is nothing about that which should be applauded. Another Former great NBA star who died, wrote about his conquest of over 20,000 women in his lifetime. The story of Wilt Chamberlin’s life is sad. There is nothing to cheer about when a man or woman has no sanctity about the gift God has given to men and women.
SLIDEYou see, God has given men and women a gift. And that gift is our bodies. Think about what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
Do you notice what Paul said about your bodies? Your body is a temple, you were bought for a price, and that price was signified in what we celebrated a few minutes ago, when we took communion. We were bought with the body and blood, with the life of Christ. As a result, God says we should honor Him with the way we care for and use our bodies.
SLIDEWe need to understand the context for this passage. Paul is talking about sexual sin. Listen to the verse immediately preceding this in verse 18, Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
In other words, we honor God by the way we care for our bodies, especially when it comes to certain types of sin. So, I’m going to make a leap her in looking at adultery.
When we become believers in Jesus as our Lord and Savior, as the One who grants us salvation, forgiveness of our sins, mercy and the greatest love of all; we ask Christ into our heart, soul, mind and body. This is why Paul was able to state that our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, because the Spirit of God is within us. And that happens when we claim Jesus as the Son of God.
SLIDEAs a result, Paul can state with perfect confidence that our bodies are temples because we are now children of Almighty God. This is what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 3 – 16 Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?
Because of this, we are supposed to do everything in our power, and in the power of God, which is available to us through the Holy Spirit, who is within us, to keep our bodies pure and holy, because our bodies don’t belong to us, they belong to God. We lose the right to do anything we want to do with our bodies, because God is now the owner of our bodies. Remember the passage we just looked at in 1 Corinthians 6:19, where Paul said, “You are not your own.”
The same holds true for us in the use of our bodies for pleasure. Paul tells us we are to flee from sexual immorality. Because when we are sexually immoral, we are sinning against our bodies, and who owns our bodies? GOD!!! So, our sin is against God, along with all those other people who are involved.
I feel like I am a lawyer who is building a case to show that adultery is a sin against God, not just because of the 7th commandment, but because of other compelling evidence from the Bible.
Yet, you might be thinking, wow, so what’s the point. You may feel like you’re the judge, and you want to say, ‘okay, we’ve given you time to make your points, so where are you going with all of this?’
Now, it’s time to regress and look at what marriage is supposed to be about. I’ll do this in only a couple of minutes, honest.
I believe God has called people to live in community. For some that community is found in marriage. For others community is found via other means, through work, friendships, volunteer opportunities and through community found in the church.
Focusing on marriage for just a moment, we know that Adam was lonely because living with animals may be fun for awhile, but there was no human companionship, so God created Eve, a helpmate and partner in life. As we read in GSLIDEenesis 2:24-25, 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
You see, Adam and Eve were to live in harmony, loving one another in all 4 aspects of life, physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. That is the same call for all husbands and wives today. We are to love one another with everything we have. Our love is a combination that includes the physical aspects of the marriage relationship. It is expected in our marriages. Just read the Song of Solomon and it’s actually difficult to imagine this was included in the scriptures.
3 SLIDESIn fact, listen to these words again from Paul, again from 1 Corinthians ~
3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Do you catch what Paul is saying to husbands and wives? Men you do not have soul ownership of your body; and women you also don’t have sole ownership of your body. You see, marriage is a partnership, a covenant between a man and a woman that they will live their lives together and base it on the relationship they have with God. So, not only is the housework and cooking and cleaning and carpooling and homework supposed to be shared, so are your bodies.
Paul is telling us, don’t deprive one another, except for one reason, and that is by mutual consent and only for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Otherwise, look at what Paul says can happen, if you don’t come together, satan will tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
And that is where we find adultery. We find that our marital relationship is not what we want it to be, but we don’t communicate with one another. We don’t sit and discuss our concerns, we keep our mouths closed and our eyes open to new adventures that might come our way. And Paul is telling us don’t!! Don’t do it.
Even Jesus said, “DON’T!” Listen to His words in Matthew 5, as Jesus spoke about this 7th commandment —
3 SLIDES27 You have heard that it was said, ’Do not commit adultery.’ 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
You see, Jesus understood human nature better than we do. We need to stop and not allow the temptations to seize us, especially when we have the power and ability to overcome those temptations when we utilize the power God has placed within us.
Adultery is wrong! Your relationship with your spouse is based on your relationship with God. When you violate your relationship with your spouse, you violate your relationship with God.
When you break your promise to be faithful, it calls your character into question.
Adultery impacts spouses, children, friends and many others.
Adultery helps destroy your spiritual life.
How do we prevent adultery? We place God at the head or the center of our marriage. We ask God to help us in every endeavor of our relationship. We look at our spouses and recapture what we had when we first met and fell in love. We talk to one another, we become best friends, not simply companions, but life-mates. We must communicate and cultivate a relationship which others seek to experience. We don’t compromise our Christian integrity by being alone with members of the opposite sex in closed off areas. We keep our heart pure through prayer and talking about our needs with our spouse.
I could go on with my list, but I think you get the point. As I said about 25 minutes ago, adultery is wrong, period. But let me add one final statement . . .
SLIDEThe sin of adultery is not unforgivable. God can and will forgive someone who commits adultery. But it is easier on those around us if we simply avoid sexual sin rather than rely on the forgiveness for it. Admitting our weaknesses is painful, it is painful to ourselves and our loved ones. Is the grass really greener on the other side? NO. Paul said that there is no temptation that can cross our paths that we cannot handle. Why? Because God always provides a way out. Just say No! That is God’s simple answer.
