(adapted from a message by Rick Warren)
SPECIAL DAY: FATHER’S DAY
TEXT: PHILIPPIANS 2:19-30
TITLE: “DISCOVER FATHERHOOD: BECOMING GOD’S MAN”
OPEN: A. Top Ten Things You’ll Never hear Dad Say:
10. Well, how about that? I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions!
9. You know, Pumpkin, now that you’re fourteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates.
Won’t that be fun?
8. I noticed that all of your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.
7. Here’s a credit card and the key to my new car. GO CRAZY!
6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating’s not good enough for you, son?
5. Your mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a
party.
4. Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies –
ya know – like that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay
whatever he asks.
3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching
and let’s go to the mall!
2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
1. What do I want for Father’s Day? Aah, don’t worry about that. It’s no big deal.
--Okay they might say it, but they don’t mean it.
B. A good father has a significant impact on his family and community
--Professor David Popenoe in his book Life Without Father said, “Depriving children of fathers has
become the most prevalent form of child mal-treatment in America today.”
C. Why are fathers so important?
1. Fathers serve as the protectors of the family
--Anyone trying to harm a family member should have to answer to the father of that family
2. Fathers serve to protect their neighborhoods from intrusion and disorder
3. Fathers serve as providers for their families
--In our world today, sometimes the mom makes more money than the dad. But dad’s should still
provide for their families as best they can – no matter who is the primary bread winner.
4. Father’s serve as the primary model to teach responsibility, achievement, suitable assertiveness,
and independence.
--A father’s authority and discipline in rearing sons, particularly teenage sons, is difficult for a
mother to achieve.
5. When a daughter has a healthy relationship with her father, she experiences a healthier
femininity, she feels worthy of love, and she is able to trust.
--Daughters who are able to trust men normally, grow and marry trustworthy men.
6. Fathers provide stimulating and exciting “rough and tumble” play, but within limits.
a. Children learn that biting and kicking and other forms of physical violence are not acceptable.
--They learn when enough is enough.
b. A study among Texas prisoners showed that 90% of inmates did not play as children or played
abnormally.
--The majority of prisoners also have little to no relationship with their fathers.
7. Fathers stress the survivor skills of competition, challenge, initiative, risk-taking, and
independence.
--In contrast, mothers emphasize social integration, relationships, and personal well-being.
8. Fathers focus on their children’s long term development, while mothers focus on their immediate
situation.
9. Fathers stress justice, fairness, and duty (based on rules).
--Mothers stress sympathy, care, and helping (based on relationships).
10. Children learn the healthy use of power from father and love from mother.
11. Researchers Westley and Epstein said that only this kind of parenting “produces predominantly
emotionally healthy children.”
D. If good fathers are necessary for the proper development of children and society, where do we find
the best model for fatherhood?
--In the Bible, of course!
1. Ezek. 22:30 – God says “I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand
before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it …”
--I believe God is still looking for men like that
a. Men who will be builders
--builders of our families, builders of our communities, builders of our nation, builders of our
churches
b. Men who will stand in the gap
--Where there’s a need, it gets met. When there’s a project to be done, it gets done. When
there is a gap it gets filled.
2. In our passage this morning, Philippians 219-30, we see examples of the kind of man designed us
to be and expects to be
a. Timothy and Epaphroditus are great examples of God’s model for manhood
b. Men, let’s see what lessons we can learn from them and put into practice
c. For our married women, I invite you to discover what behavior patterns should be rewarded
and encouraged in your men
d. For younger men, I invite you to discover what kind of role models you should follow
e. For our young ladies and all females who are not married but expecting to become so some
day, I invite you to find these qualities in your boyfriends so that you can marry a man who
follows God’s model for manhood
I. COMPASSION: Men who put relationships before results
--Phil. 2:19-21 – “I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that I also may be cheered when I
receive news about you. I have no one else like him, who takes a genuine interest in your welfare. For
everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.”
A. First, we look at Timothy
--Timothy had a heart for people
1. He genuinely cared what happened to people
2. He genuinely desired to minister to them in their need
3. Paul says that most men only look out for their own interests but Timothy was someone you could
count on to put the needs of others ahead of his own
B. Bill is a college student. He has wild hair, wears a T-shirt with holes in it, jeans and no shoes. This
was literally his wardrobe for his entire time in college. He’s intelligent – kind of esoteric and very, very
bright. He became a Christian his freshman year in college.
Across the street from the college is a very traditional and conservative church. They’ve been
discussing developing a ministry to college students but have never been able to come to agreement about
how to go about it.
One bright, sunny morning, Bill decides that he’ll attend the morning worship service. He walks into
the worship auditorium with no shoes, his jeans, his T-shirt with a hole, and his wild hair. The service has
already started, so Bill starts down one of the aisles looking for a seat. The auditorium is completely
packed and Bill can’t find a seat.
Every person in the place is now watching Bill and is starting to look uncomfortable. Bill goes right to
the front row but still no seats. So Bill does what he would do at his Christian fellowship house at the
college – he just plops himself down on the floor and crosses his legs Indian-style. (Understand that while
this is perfectly acceptable behavior at a college fellowship but this has never happened in this church
before.)
By now, a large contingent of the people is really uptight and the tension in the air is thick. About this
time, one of the elders gets up from his seat and is slowly making his way toward Bill. This elder is in his
eighties, has silver-gray hair, and a tailored suit. He’s a very godly man, very courtly and dignified. He
walks with a cane, and as he starts walking toward this young man, everyone is saying to themselves that
you can’t blame him for what he’s going to do. How can you expect a man of his age and of his
background to understand some college kid on the floor?
It takes quite awhile for the elder to reach the man. The entire building is utterly silent except for the
clicking of the elder’s cane. Every eye in the auditorium is focused on him. The minister can’t even
preach his sermon until the elder does what he has to do.
Everyone watches in amazement as this elderly man positions himself. With great difficulty he lowers
himself and sits down next to Bill and worships with him so he won’t feel alone. Everyone chokes up
with emotion. When the minister gains control, he says, “What I’m about to preach, you will never
remember. What you have just seen, you will never forget.”
II. CONSISTENCY: Men who put character before conformity
--Phil. 2:22-24 – “But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has
served with me in the work of the gospel. I hope, therefore, to send him as soon as I see how things go
with me. And I am confident in the Lord that I myself will come soon.”
A. Again, Timothy is our example
--He was consistent in his lifestyle
1. Over and over again, he had proved himself in service to Christ
2. On a consistent basis, Timothy had done the things that needed to be done
3. Not only did he do the right things under Paul’s oversight, but even when not under Paul’s watchful
eye, he had consistently performed as a Christian man should even when no one was watching
4. Scripture teaches us that integrity is who we are when no one is watching
--Prov. 10:9 – “The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found
out.”
B. Several years back, Burke Marketing Research asked executives in 100 of the nation’s largest companies
what were the most irritating qualities in their employees
--Here are the “seven deadly sins” in order:
1. Dishonesty
2. Irresponsibility and laziness
3. Arrogance, ego problems, and excessive aggressiveness
4. Absenteeism and chronic lateness
5. Not following company policy
--Failing to follow the rules make management feel an employee can’t be trusted
6. Whining and complaining
7. Lack of commitment and dedication
--Basically, the corporate mind-set is that if you don’t care about the firm, the won’t care about you
**Mark Silbert, whose temporary employee agency commissioned the study, says, “If a company
believes that an employee lacks integrity, all positive qualities – ranging from skill and experience to
productivity and intelligence – become meaningless.”
III. COOPERATION: Men who put collaboration before competition
--Phil. 2:25a – “But I think it is necessary to send back to you Epaphroditus, my brother, fellow worker and
fellow soldier …”
A. Now we look at Epaphroditus as our model for manhood
--Notice the words Paul uses to describe Epaphroditus:
1. Brother – part of God’s family
2. Fellow worker – not just a member but a worker who had a similar work ethic for the cause of Christ
as did the apostle Paul
3. Fellow soldier – he wasn’t a conscientious objector nor a deserter but down in the trenched fighting in
spiritual warfare
B. Three things are true about the Christian life:
1. It’s a family
--All Christians are members of God’s family sharing the same Father and the same inheritance –
eternal life through Jesus Christ
2. It’s a fellowship
--We share in doing the same work, share in the same accountability for getting the work done, and
share in the joys and benefits that sharing the work and the accountability entails.
3. It’s a fight
--Eph. 6:11-12 – “Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s
schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the
authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the
heavenly realms.”
C. A few years back, a governor in a certain state had to deal with a lot of conflict with the opposition
party. The legislature was a majority of one political party and he was of another. Early in his term, he
met with the opposition leader of the legislative branch with the hopes of building a cooperative
coalition for the future. The meeting was a failure. There was no trust and no agreement but plenty of
conflict.
At the end of the meeting, the governor stood up and the opposition party leader stood up. The
governor understood the consequences if no cooperative effort could be made during his term. So the
governor grabbed his political enemy with both hands on his neck and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.
His opponent was completely stunned. His face turned red and he blurted out, “What did you do that
for!!” The governor said, “If I can’t get your cooperation and help, I’m at least going to get a kiss!”
The opposition leader broke up laughing and that was the beginning of friendship and the end of conflict
between those two men.
D. Epaphroditus didn’t work against, fight against, or cause family problems with others who were working
for the cause of Christ
--He worked cooperatively and collaboratively to see the Gospel spread and ministry performed
.IV. COMMITMENT: Men who put the cause of Christ before comfort
--Phil. 2:25b-27 – “[Epaphroditus] who is also your messenger, whom you sent to take care of my needs.
For he longs for all of you and is distressed because you heard he was ill. Indeed he was ill, and almost
died. But God had mercy on him, and not on him only but also on me, to spare me sorrow upon sorrow.”
A. Apparently Epaphroditus had been a very sick man
1. He was sent by the church in Philippi to minister to the apostle Paul while he was imprisoned in
Rome
--Epaphroditus carried love offerings of money and supplies and was to do what the apostle Paul
needed done
2. But something happened along the way from Philippi to Rome and Epaphroditus became extremely
ill
--Paul says that he became so sick that he almost died
B. Epaphroditus could nave turned around and gone home
1. He could have claimed with good reason that he did not feel well enough to complete the mission he
was sent to accomplish
2. Or he could have found a comfortable place to stay along the way until he felt better
3. But Paul is impressed that no matter how sick Epaphroditus was, he was still determined to do the
job he was sent to do
a. James 2:17 – “…faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”
b. 2 Chronicles 16:9a – “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those
whose hearts are fully committed to him.”
C. Jack Eckerd was a businessman from Florida and founder of the Eckerd Drug chain. He became a
Christian because of a relationship that he had built with Chuck Colson.
After his conversion he walked into one of his stores and down the books and magazine aisle. The
first thing that caught his eye was the Playboy and Penthouse magazines. He went back to his office
and called in the president of his company. He said, “Take Playboy and Penthouse out of my stores.”
The president said, “You can’t mean that, Mr. Eckerd. We make three million dollars a year on those
items.” Eckerd said, “Take ’em out of my stores.” And in 1,700 stores across America, by one man’s
decision, those magazines were removed from the shelves because a man had given his life to Christ.
Chuck Colson heard what Eckerd had done and called him up. Colson said, “I want to use that story.
Did you do that because of your commitment to Christ?” Eckerd replied, “Why else would I give away
three million dollars? The Lord wouldn’t let me off the hook.”
Eckerd wrote a letter to all the other drugstore operators, all of the other chains, and said, “I’ve taken
it out of my store. Why don’t you take it out of yours?” Not one person answered him. So he wrote
more letters.
Meanwhile, Eckerd’s Drugs began to have floods of people coming in to buy things at Eckerd’s
because they’d taken the pornographic magazines out. Watching the trends, other drug chains began to
remove them from their shelves as well.
Eckerd did this in the 1980’s at the same time as the presidential pornography commission was
meeting in Washington debating what to do about pornography and trying to develop recommendations
for the president concerning the issue. These recommendations were to have developed into legislation
for Congress to consider to stem the tide of pornography.
While this select commission was meeting and fighting off the ACLU and the attorneys’ for the
pornography industry, 5,000 7-11 stores removed the magazines because the chairman of 7-11 sat on
Eckerd’s board of directors and gave in to Jack’s requests that he pull the magazines. In a period of 12
months, 11,000 retail outlets in America removed Playboy and Penthouse. They didn’t do it because
somebody passed a law, but because one man remained committed to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
V. COURAGE: Men who put service before security
--Phil. 2:28-30 – “2Therefore I am all the more eager to send him, so that when you see him again you may
be glad and I may have less anxiety. Welcome him in the Lord with great joy, and honor men like him,
because he almost died for the work of Christ, risking his life to make up for the help you could not give
me.”
A. Epaphroditus had a ministry to perform
1. His primary goal was completing his ministry
2. He didn’t allow anything to get in his way
3. He knew that he could have taken the easy way out
--No one would probably have faulted him for it
4. Yet, Epaphroditus was willing to lay his life on the line to complete was he was sent to do in the name
of Christ
B. Paul says we are to honor men like Epaphroditus
--Honor is due to those who understand that service to Christ through service to others is more important
than earthly security
1. I wonder how many men have failed in their duty to minister to Christ though ministering to others
because it might interfere with their income?
2. I wonder how many men have failed in their duty to minister to Christ through ministering to other
because it might harm their reputations in the world?
3. I wonder how many men have failed in their duty to minister to Christ through ministering to others
because it might get in the way of playing golf, or fishing or bowling, or some other interest or hobby?
4. Epaphroditus was not a man like that and Paul says that this is an honorable man
--Honorable in the eyes of Christ and His church
C. Giuseppe Garibaldi was an Italian patriot, soldier, and hero-figure who lived from 1807 to 1882.
He devoted his life to the cause of uniting Italy. His greatest victory was the 1860 overthrow of the
Kingdom of Naples. That event ultimately led to the unification of Italy. In May of that year, Garibaldi
landed in Sicily with a volunteer force of 1070 men (the "Thousand"). Within two weeks this force had
taken the city of Palermo, forcing the surrender of an army of 20,000 regulars.
Garibaldi had an incredibly committed volunteer army. He would appeal for recruits in these terms:
“I offer neither pay, nor quarters, nor provisions. I offer hunger, thirst, forced marches, battles and death.
Let him who loves his country with his heart and not with his lips only, follow me!”
1. Winston Churchill told the British people that he had nothing to offer them but “blood, sweat, toil, and
tears” in their fight against their enemies.
2. Christ’s offer is: “Take up your cross and follow me.”
--The cross was an instrument of tortuous death.
a. Rom. 12:1 – “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living
sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.”
--GNB – “So then my brothers, because of God’s great mercy to us … Offer yourselves as a living
sacrifice to God, dedicated to His service and pleasing to Him.”
b. Mk. 8:34-35 – “Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: ‘If anyone would
come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to
save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.”
CLOSE: A. During every war or military conflict, reports describe the casualties of these conflicts.
Statistics tell us the number of soldiers killed, wounded, captured, or missing in action
--sometimes, years pass before the locations of the MIA’s are discovered
1. Our culture is involved in all kinds of spiritual conflicts
--In many of these situations, the men are conspicuously missing in action
2. Men, don’t be MIA’s
--be involved with your children, be good role models for those around you, pick the slack in
church, be the kind of person that exemplifies God’s design for manhood
B. Please understand that none of us can be perfect fathers
--God is the only perfect father and the Bible is loaded with fatherly descriptions for Him
1. Ps. 68:5 – “A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God…”
2. Ps. 103:13 – “As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on
those who fear him
3. Is. 63:16 – “But you are our Father, though Abraham does not know us or Israel acknowledge
us; you, O LORD, are our Father, our Redeemer from of old is your name.”
4. Jn. 20:17 – After Jesus rose from the dead, He told Mary to go to His disciples and tell them
that He was alive. And He said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the
Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am returning to my Father and your Father,
to my God and your God.’”
C. Derek Richmond was a track athlete in the 1992 Olympics. He competed for the medal in the
40 meter event. Less than half-way through the race, he tore a hamstring muscle and fell to the
ground in agony. While the rest of the runners moved past him, Derek managed to get to his feet
and began struggling to move forward.
Then something caught the attention of the television camera. An older man wearing blue
shorts and a Nike “Just Do It” cap pushed past a security guard onto the race track. It was
Derek’s father, Jim.
At first, Derek just shrugged him away, saying, “I’m going to finish the race.” Jim said to his
son, “We’ve started everything together. We’ll finish this together.”
He put his arm around his son and held him as they crossed the finish line together. The
crowd erupted into thunderous applause. It has become a classic moment in sports history.
1. We have a heavenly Father who loves in the same manner
--He wants to help you through any situation that you face
2. He loved you enough to send His “only begotten” Son to die for your sins and rise from the
dead to give you power for this life and entrance into the life to come.
