Lasting Love
6/21/09 Proverbs 5:7-23 Luke 15:11-19
Today we celebrate Father’s Day. We want to pay special tribute and honor to all of you men who recognize that it is a gift, an honor, a high calling, and a worthy pursuit to be a responsible father. Thank you for all the responsible fathers here and in the world today. A responsible father knows that is far more important to cheer and encourage his son or daughter than to go wild cheering for LeBron or Kobe. There’s nothing wrong with cheering for the great atheletes, but your child has the potential to enrich your life in a way they never will.
A responsible father knows that any attempt by him to bring a child into this world, is a commitment on his part to put that child’s needs ahead of his own. A responsible father knows that the greatest gift he can give to his child, is to be loving and supportive of that child’s mother being by her side in the home. A responsible father knows, there are times when he needs to shut out the world to take time with his son or daughter. Yes we thank for men who have chosen to be responsible.
I want to say thank you to all of you fathers who recognized that you have fallen short in your calling, but you’re willing to change and to become the kind of father God is calling you to be and deep down in your heart, you know that you should be. I want to say thank you to all of you men who have stepped into a child’s life and been like a father to them. For some of you, it has been at a distance as they looked to you as a role model, and for others it has been a true commitment and sacrifice as you took them into your homes. A good man is an incredible gift in the life of a child.
Young men and old men alike realize, that you really are not prepared for sex, if you’re not already committed to your future child’s mother by committing yourself to her in marriage. If you go ahead and take the chance and do it your way, you really are going to hurt at least three lives and probably several more including your own. God’s pattern is still, meet to get to know, marry to get prepared, and sex to seal the commitment. When we get the order wrong, we lose. When we get the order right, we are in a place to offer our child the very best chance in life.
Every child desires and wants the love of his or her father. Even when we turn as adults, there is still the desire to have wanted to have been loved by our father. Some of us have a lot of anger and resentment toward our dads, that we need to let go of and forgive them. We can learn in Christ to love them for what they could have been, if only they themselves and accepted the love and mercy of God for their lives.
Last week Pastor Toby preached a great message on selfishness and how it ruins relationships. I think all of us saw our own selfishness, and how it needs to be forgiven by God. Let’s extend God’s grace to our fathers who were selfish at times and may have hurt us. For we are all on this journey of life together. None of us have lived perfect lives.
We are on our last week of 40 days of love. For me personally it has been one of the most humbling periods of my journey in Christ as I have seen how far I have fallen short in what true love is all about. Today we are going to look at lasting love. What are the keys to love that lasts.
Jesus gave us such a high standard when it comes to love, that it is impossible to do it without completely submitting our desires and our hopes into his hands. Jesus told us in John 15:12, “I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you.” That sounds so simple and so easy, but I find I am far more interested in you loving me like Jesus loves you, than I am in me loving you, like Jesus loved me.
Since this is father’s day, let’s look at a father who can help us deal with lasting love. Let’s call the father Mr. Wade. Mr. Wade and his wife had two sons, both of whom they loved very much. Mr. Wade worked hard and had determined to set aside some money each year for his sons’ future. He had built a business and expected one day to turn his business over to his sons. The older son was named James. James was a hard worker and he was eager to learn from his father the ins and outs of the business. He tried to please his parents and make good choices for himself. Never gave his parents that much trouble. He wasn’t perfect, but he was a good kid who turned into a pretty good adult. James followed the game plan.
Now John was the younger brother. He was the kid that everybody liked. He could have you laughing. He would dare you do something at the drop of a hat. He had his parents down at the school a number of times because of his behavior. The older he got, the more difficult situations he got himself into. He wasn’t showing up on work at the family business on time. He was making it clear that man, when he got old enough he was going to see the world. James would complain to his father about his brother, but Mr. Wade just kind of took the position that “well we need to help your brother along. He’s going to get better.” Mr. Wade loved both of his boys.
When we talk about Love that lasts, which we all need and we are all seeking, the first thing we need to know is that Lasting Love extends grace. No relationship will make it without grace. We are all going to disappoint people and we are all going to be disappointed. Grace has to be a part of our lives. We have to cut people some slack. There are some things we are going to have to overlook and some things we are going to have to let pass.
The bible tells us that “love never stops being patient. Other translations say that “love puts up with anything, it patiently accepts all things, and its ready to make allowances.” In other worlds if we decide to love people, we have to decide to allow for them to make mistakes. Who are you holding hostage by not allowing them to make mistakes.
Let’s say it together, “people in my home are going to make mistakes. I am going to still love them anyways.” Right now there is someone in your life that you need to extend more grace to. Mr. Wade chose to extend more grace to his son John. Now don’t think doing your part means that the other person is going to instantly change. You’re doing your part because its what God is calling you to do. You’re trying to allow Jesus to love through you.
When John received more grace from his dad, he became even bolder. Now he’s been pretty lazy up to this point, but he goes into his father office and declares. “Look we both know I’m just not feeling this business. This is not what I was cut out to do. Now I’ve got a plan where I know I can make it big on my own. I know one day you’re going to split this business between me and my brother. I don’t want to wait for you to get old and die. Just give me my portion of what I would receive today and I won’t claim any future interest in the business. I want to be in charge of my own life.
Now some of you are thinking, “you want to be in charge of your life, but you want my money to do it.” How many of you are thinking “boy if don’t get up off you lazy behind and get out there and do some work you are going to be homeless and unemployed.” This is why we are in 40 days of love to learn how to love difficult and demanding people.
There is no way Mr. Wade could not have been hurt by his son’s attitude and words. He’s spent years trying to help his son, and now that his son is in a position to help him, he’s heading out the door, and he wants to take some of the father’s money with him. One thing about Mr. Wade is that tying to preserve his relationship with his son, meant more to him than his anger or his money. We need to remember relationships are what life and love is all about.
The second thing about Lasting love, is that lasting love doesn’t just extend grace, it expresses faith. Lasting love expresses faith. Mr. Wade did not deserve the behavior of his son. But he did not lose fact, that this was his son. Sometimes we get hurt by others, and we take it out on the wrong people. I’ll never understand why a father has to be forced to pay child support. How can a father not pay to feed, clothe, and house his children simply, because he’s angry at their mother. Lasting love expresses faith that there is going to be another day, and we need to be reconciled with one another. Lasting love expresses faith in the possibility of what might me in the future. Things may not be what we want today, but we live with the future in mind knowing that with God, all things are possible.
Mr. Wade reluctantly gave his self centered son, John what John asked for. He gave him his future share of the business right now, hoping that the son would keep his word and invest it wisely. Love involves taking risk with people and being willing to trust them. You cannot love someone you’re not willing to trust. So if we’re going to love somebody, not only do we have to extend grace, we have to express faith. I believe in you. I trust you. I think you can do it. We are told in 1 Corin 13:7, love never stops believing. One translation says love always trusts, love never loses faith.
One of the key evidences of trust is your willingness to give other people a second chance when they blow it. How quick are you to say, “I’m never going back to that…” or “ you got to watch out for so and so” or “you better stay away from’’’. If you say that often, you’re not very trusting and you’re not very loving because love gives people a second chance. People are going to need second chances. You are going to need second chances and so am I.
John got his share of the money and took off into the night. He tried to get as far away as possible. Whatever he did, he was going to be able to say, he did it his way. The first thing he did was what he knew how to do best and that was to make friends and party. John had some pretty wild parties. Word traveled for miles and miles about the parties he had. John let it all hang out in wild living.
Unfortunately for John, math had not been one of his strong subjects. He failed to realize, that even a lot of money will disappear if you spend it fast enough. Now before it was all gone, even he realized he needed to cut back in a hurry. He still had enough left to try to get back on track. But one thing we discover about life is that we are not really in charge. There is no way he could have known, he had chosen to run to a country where the worse famine in decades was going to hit. The famine caused food prices to rise sky high. It quickly ate the little money he had left. When his money was gone, so were his friends and party buddies.
He had to finally go get a real job. But the economy was bad and unemployment high. The only job he could get was feeding pigs. He was tempted to eat the slop he was feeding the pigs, because he was so hungry. One day the light bulb came on in his head. He remembered he had a father that loved him. He said “here I am starving to death, and my father’s workers have food left over after dinner. I’m going back home and apologize to my father, and ask if he would allow me to just be like one of his minimum wage workers.”
You know some of us are in the pig pen of life, too big to admit we made a mistake. We stay stinking in the mud with the pigs. Our lives could be changed if we would admit we were wrong, say we were sorry, and ask for forgiveness. We are missing out on love that could be ours because of our selfish pride. Only the fools says, “I don’t need anybody.” Yes you do. We all need somebody. We all need somebody to love us. That’s one of the reasons that God loves us. God can do miracles in relationships, but sometimes we have to take that first step. Look for the changes in you before you expect the changes in somebody else. The miracle is going to happen in you first.
Fathers, to be trusted is the greatest gift you can to your children and your spouse. The gift of trust is one of the gifts of love. Know what it is to keep your word and be faithful in the promises you make. Be ready to say why you had to break a promise. Chances are, you’ll be forgiven.
The third thing about Lasting Love is that lasting love expects the best. Lasting love looks forward. It is not stuck in the past. It is hopeful. Mr. Wade had a lasting love for his son John. He would sit on the porch of his house and look down the road that his son had traveled. He had not heard much about his son since the parties had stopped. You don’t make the news once you get poor and broke. He kept praying for his son, that one day, things would work out for him.
Then on one bright day, he saw this figure coming down the road. The clothes were dirty and ragged. The shoes on the feet were not much to look at. The body was thin and haggard looking. But as the figure got closer to the house. Whoever it was, began to try to run.
Mr. Wade knew in an instant that style of running. You see he had watched his son at the boy’s games as a little boy. They had ran together over the farm. He knew his son, John was coming home. He jumped up off the porch and began to run toward his son. You see Love never stops hoping. Another translation says “love always expect the best. Love always is looking for the best.” Can you imagine the scene unfolding down that road that day. Here is this well dressed older man running to meet this younger man who is in rags that smell something terrible. He’s running with tears coming down his face.
Some of us need to make the journey down the road to meet somebody who needs our forgiveness. We have the upper hand in the relationship so the future of it all depends on us. What do we see coming toward us? Is our hurt keeping us from seeing somebody else in need? Is our prejudice at how someone looks or dresses keeping us from extending our love out towards them.
Mr. Wade did not know what kind of son he was going to meet when he jumped off the porch and ran toward him. John did not know what his father was going to say. His father, who had the right to speak first, said nothing. He simply embraced his son. The son began with his confession, “Father, I have really disappointed you. I have blown it. I have sinned against God and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.”
My friends when we leave out on a road or a relationship, go out in a right manner. You don’t know when you might have to come back down that road again. Don’t go out yelling, cursing, and screaming at people. You might need them for a job reference. Don’t go out telling people how sick and tired of them you are, and how you don’t need them. You might need them to help you get back on your feet. Don’t go out putting everybody in their place. Leave with grace and appreciation. It will make the road back a lot easier to travel. Young people when you leave home, do so in a way that your parents will be glad to have you back again.
Finally Lasting Love endures the work. Lasting love is persistent. It is determined. It will not give up on the relationship. The Bible says, Love never gives up. Love endures through every relationship. Love always perseveres. Love never looks back but keeps going to the end. Lasting love stays put. It doesn’t let go. It refuses to give in. Men, God is seeking men who will have lasting love for their children and their wives. It is not going to be easy to by any stretch of the imagination.
Mr. Wade did not receive back the expectations he had for his son when he sent away dressed to kill, with a bank account most of us would dream having. Here he is on a road with a guy who smells horribly, is dressed in rags, and looks so thin you can see his bones showing though his skin. He did not have to tell John, how John had hurt him. John already knew that. He did not have to tell him how he failed. John already knew that too. He did not have to tell him, how if he had not of been so hard headed, he wouldn’t have messed up his life in the way he did. John really knew that.
Mr. Wade, this father declared to the world. Quick, get my son the best robe you can find, bring him out some new shoes, and put a ring on his finger to show he belongs to this family. Let’s get the best steaks out the freezer, and prepare to have the greatest dinner banquet in the history of our family. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again. He was lost and is now found.
The bible says, “love covers a multitude of sins.” This father was not trying to expose his son’s failures to the world. Instead he was offering protection and covering. He didn’t want anybody to see how far his son had fallen. He wanted them to see a son, that was on the rise again. There were so many times the father could have given up on his son, but he chose not to. He was determined to keep on loving against all odds.
Learning to love is the single greatest lesson in life. Learning to love God with all your heart and soul and mind and strength, and learning to love everybody else. That is why God put us all on this planet. The only way we will ever learn to love is by choosing to love when we don’t feel like it. That’s how we learn to love. God just expects us to do with others, what God has done to us. God has extended his grace to each of us. He sent Jesus to die for your sins. He wants you to know his grace. If you got what you deserved, you would not be sitting here now. God believed in you enough to give you life, so that you could make a difference for Him in the lives of others. He knows that you could be doing so much more in being a loving person that you are doing.
None of us can truly be loving without knowing Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, because he is the standard for what love is all about. You need to be reconciled to someone today. Make it happen. Forgive and Receive. If you don’t know Jesus Christ, your reconciliation must begin with him.
