FATHER’S DAY: JOSPEH
Scott Bayles, pastor
First Christian Church, Rosiclare, IL
Well, let me start out today by saying “Happy Father’s Day” to all of our Dads. One little boy, when asked to explain about Father’s Day, said, “It’s just like Mother’s Day, only you don’t spend as much on the present.”
That’s a joke, of course, but really, Father’s Day never seems to be as big a deal as Mother’s Day, does it? On Mother’s Day there is a higher attendance at church, mothers often have corsages, emotions run high, and people gather at Mom’s house—all to pay honor to the hands that rocked the cradle.
But on Father’s Day the church is not as full, emotions are not as high, and businesses don’t profit nearly as much—all except for the telephone companies, that is. You see, phone companies report that Mother’s Day is the busiest telephone day of the year. But Father’s Day is a bigger money-maker for them, because there are more collect calls on Father’s Day than on any other day of the year.
As you may or may not know, the very first national celebration of Father’s Day was on June 19, 1924, by proclamation of President Calvin Coolidge. But it all came about because of the efforts of Sonora Smart Dodd.
Sonora was sitting in church in 1909 listening to a Mother’s Day sermon when the idea of Father’s Day first came to mind. Having been raised by her father after her mother’s death, Sonora wanted her father to know how special he was to her for all his parental sacrifices and for being, in her eyes, so courageous, selfless, and loving. To make a long story short, twenty-five years later, through her efforts President Coolidge designated the 3rd Sunday of June as “Father’s Day.” And our nation has been celebrating it ever since.
I’m glad there is a Father’s Day (not just because I’m a dad myself). Even though it may not be as significant or special as Mother’s Day, it still gives us a chance to honor those who stand at the helm, who gather their team in a huddle, and who lead their family through life’s battles. And, since my Mother’s Day message last month focused on Mary the mother of Jesus, I thought it would only be appropriate for us to take a thoughtful look at Joseph, the step-father of Jesus, for Father’s Day.
The cast of characters associated with the story of Jesus’ birth is colorful and memorable. We often recognize them by their unique speaking parts. With dramatic words, the Angels take center stage to announce the birth of the Savior. They appear to Joseph to announce that the name of the child would be Jesus. The angel Gabriel makes the unforgettable announcement to Mary. And an angelic choir interrupts the shepherds, singing, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men” (Luke 2:14). Mary, whose divine selection humbles her, offers a beautiful hymn of praise and thankfulness in Luke 1:46-48. The wise men are desperate in their search to find the newborn King and prepared to present Him with gifts of honor and worship. The shepherds became early evangelists—telling everyone they saw about the newborn Messiah.
Oddly enough, only Joseph has no speaking part. He is the lone silent member of the cast and often forgotten. Angels bring heavenly greetings. Mary sings a praiseful solo. Wise men worship. Shepherds preach. Joseph is silent. No notable lines are attributed to him. No sound bites. No quotes. Only silence. However, as people sometimes say—actions speak louder than words! Joseph is irreplaceable in the story of Jesus’ birth and through his silent actions, Joseph teaches us three valuable lessons in fatherhood. The first lesson is a lesson in righteousness.
• RIGHTEOUSNESS
We are introduced to Joseph in the middle of a personal crisis. Having become engaged to a beautiful young girl, he has worked hard to establish an income to support his new bride and begin a family. He’s in love. He’s committed to Mary. He believed she loved him—that is, until he hears the news that his precious bride is pregnant.
Heart-broken and betrayed, how should he respond? Should he publicly shame her? Should he turn her over to the authorities to be stoned to death? Her explanation of the pregnancy was unbelievable, even blasphemous. If Mary hadn’t been stoned on the charge of adultery, she could have been stoned on the charge of serious blasphemy. However, Joseph chooses the path of mercy. The Bible says, “And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly” (Matthew 1:19 NASB).
Before any divine explanation, Joseph chooses kindness and discretion. No malice. No explosion. Certainly he could have asked a lot of questions here: “How could you do this to me? Who’s the father?” But, no words are recorded, only tenderness. He might be the talk of Nazareth. Friends might make snide comments. But he would not hurt Mary, no matter what he thought she had done to him. When he could have demanded a bitter sentence, he chose grace and mercy. Another translation says, “Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly” (NLT). The key to being a good father is first being a good man!
James Dobson has often said, “One of the best things a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” That’s what Joseph did. He loved Mary, even when he thought she didn’t love him.
Steve Shepherd, who is a spiritual mentor of mine even though we’ve never met, tells the story of a father and son who went to the circus one day. Recalling his childhood with a bit of nostalgia, a man said, “Once when I was a teenager, my father and I were standing in line to buy tickets for the circus. Finally, there was only one family between us and the ticket counter. This family made a big impression on me. There were eight children, all probably under the age of twelve. You could tell they didn’t have a lot of money. Their clothes were not expensive, but they were clean.
“The children were well-behaved, all of them standing in line, two-by-two behind their parents, holding hands. They were excitedly jabbering about the clowns, elephants, and other acts they would see that night. One could sense they had never been to a circus before. It promised to be a highlight of their young lives. The father and mother were at the head of the pack standing proud as could be. The mother was holding her husband’s hand, looking up at him as if to say—you’re my knight in shining armor. He was smiling and basking in pride, looking at her.
“The ticket lady asked the father how many tickets he wanted. He proudly said, ‘Please, let me buy eight children’s tickets and two adult tickets so I can take my family to the circus.’ Then the ticket lady quoted the price. The man’s wife let go of his hand, her head dropped and the man’s lip began to quiver. The father leaned a little closer and asked, ‘How much did you say?’ The ticket lady again quoted the price.
“The man didn’t have enough money. How was he supposed to turn and tell his eight kids that he didn’t have enough money to take them to the circus? Seeing what was going on, my dad put his hand in his pocket, pulled out a $20 bill and dropped it on the ground. Keep in mind; we weren’t wealthy in any sense of the word. Then my father reached down, picked up the bill, tapped the man on the shoulder and said, ‘Excuse me, Sir, I believe this fell out of your pocket.’
“Of course, the man knew what was going on. He wasn’t begging for a handout but certainly appreciated the help in a desperate, heartbreaking, embarrassing situation. He looked straight into my dad’s eye, took my dad’s hand in both of his, squeezed tightly onto the $20 bill, and with quivering lips and a tear streaming down his cheek, replied, ‘Thank you, thank you. This really means so much to me and my family.’
“My father and I went back to our car and drove home. We didn’t go to the circus that night, but we didn’t go without.”
Fathers, that’s the kind of lesson—a lesson in righteousness—that sticks with your kids. The next lesson we fathers learn from Joseph is a lesson in responsibility.
• RESPONSIBILITY
After making his plans to quietly and discreetly divorce Mary, God gave Joseph a glimpse of the divine plan through a dream. An angel appeared to Joseph in his dream and told him, “Joseph, descendant of David, don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because the baby in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins” (Matthew 1:20-21 NCV).
Then the Bible says, “When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife. But he did not have sexual relations with her until her son was born. And Joseph named him Jesus” (vs. 24-25 NLT).
Joseph understood clearly what God expected of him, and was ready to obey! He would take Mary to be his wife and suffer the cutting remarks of a child conceived prior to their wedding. He would obey in spite of the fact that this child of divine promise would be born under a cloud of adultery. He called his adopted son “Jesus,” just as he was told to do. Joseph believed God, obeyed God, and accepted the responsibility that God had given him.
How much better would our world be if every father did the same thing?
In 1960, 17% of children in the United States were raised apart from their biological fathers. By 1990, that number had risen to 36%. Today, nearly half of all the children in the U.S. are raise without a father in their home. How could we have become so irresponsible? So caviler in our relationships with our own children?
Dads, we can’t leave the rearing and raising of our children to the television or the daycare teacher or even to mom alone. It’s our responsibility too. We need to be actively involved in our children’s lives. We need to take responsibility, especially in their formative years. I once heard a psychologist say that whatever you plan on teaching your children (values, morals, etc.) must be taught within the first five years—after that, it’s just reinforcement. Do you know what an awesome responsibility that it!?
Family-life specialists Delmer W. Holbrook and his wife have been lecturing and conducting surveys across America. In a survey of hundreds of children, the Holbrooks came up with the three things fathers say most in responding to their kids. “I’m too tired” took first place. “We don’t have enough money” was second. “Keep quiet” was third. That was in 1976. Not a lot has changed, has it?
Bo Jackson, former professional baseball and football player, once said, “Having grown up virtually fatherless, I know firsthand how much it means to a child to have a caring, loving, involved dad. That’s why it’s so important to me to really be there for my kids. I want to build self-confidence in my children and make them aware that they have choices. I don’t want my kids to follow in my footsteps, but make their own.”
Dads, learn form Joseph’s example—put the remote control down, get up off the couch, and spend some time with your kids—take responsibility. Get down on the floor with them. Play baseball with them. Take them to the park. Take them to church. That brings us to the last lesson Joseph teaches us—a lesson in religion.
• RELIGION
I hesitated to use the word religion, because it has such a negative connotation to it today. But I certainly don’t mean it in a negative way. Many people, including myself from time-to-time, have said that Christianity is a relationship not a religion. But that statement is a little misleading because it sets up a false dichotomy. Yes, Christianity is about our relationship with God and his people. But true religion is also about our relationship with God and his people. That’s the essence of James’ statement: “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you” (James 1:27 NLT).
Incidentally, James, who wrote these words, was also a son of Joseph and a brother of Jesus. The point is—Joseph was a devoutly religious man. In Jewish culture the father was not only the head of the house and the primary bread-winner, he was also the spiritual leader of the family.
After Jesus was born, Joseph took Mary and Jesus to Jerusalem to have him circumcised, and then the Bible says, “After doing everything the Lord’s Teachings required, Joseph and Mary returned to their hometown of Nazareth in Galilee. The child grew and became strong. He was filled with wisdom, and God’s favor was with him. Every year Jesus’ parents would go to Jerusalem for the Passover festival” (Luke 2:39-41 GWT). You see, Joseph knew the Lord and his teachings. He obeyed everything in the Law of Moses to the best of his ability. Their annual pilgrimage to Jerusalem demonstrates that Joseph was dedicated to seeking God leading his family into a deeper relationship with their heavenly Father.
Austin L. Sorensen once said, “A child is not likely to find a father in God unless he finds something of God in his father.” Let that thought sink in a bit. Seeing God in their father is a child’s best way to come to know God as their Father.
When Ashley and I lived in Saint Louis, we worked opposite shifts. I would be alone with the kids for several hours each morning while Ashley waited tables. On bright, sunny days I would pack both kids into our double-wide stroller and we’d go walking through the neighborhood, sometimes for hours. While I walked, I talked. While I pushed, I prayed. Passersby who couldn’t hear the words coming from my lips probably thought I was just talking to the kids, but they knew I was talking to God. I hope that my children never forget the sound of their father’s voice praying. I pray with them every night because I want them to see and hear what my relationship with God is like. I want them to see Jesus in me.
Dads, you—more than anyone else in the world—are able to instill faith in your children. You—more than anyone else—are able to show them what a loving father looks like. You—more than anyone else can—give them the ability to trust and depend on their Father in heaven. But you can’t give what you don’t have. Before your children can see God in you, you have to let God into your heart and into your life. You have to seek him, to make him your top priority. You have to love God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength. When you do, they’ll see it.
A preacher once asked the preschoolers in Sunday school to draw pictures of God. He intended to use them as an illustration for his Sunday sermon. Toward the end of class the children were excited to show him their work. They came up with rainbows and men with big hands. Finally, the preacher’s daughter showed him her picture—a man with a suit and tie on. “I don’t know what God looks like,” she said, “so I just drew my daddy instead.”
Conclusion:
So what do we learn from a man who never said anything? Even though none of his words were ever recorded in Scripture, Joseph’s example teaches us some invaluable lessons in fatherhood—a lesson in righteousness, a lesson in responsibility, and a lesson in religion. To all of the righteous, responsible, and religious dads here today—thank you. Thank you for showing us what it means to be a good man. Thank you for always being there when we needed you. Thank you for your loving God and for making us want to do the same.
Invitation:
Whether you are a father or not, whether you had a loving father growing up or not, you need to know that you have a Father in heaven who loves you. He wants nothing more than for you to be a part of his eternal family.
