INTRODUCTION
• SLIDE #1
• A troubled man came to his lawyer to seek a divorce. The lawyer asked, "Do you have any Grounds? The man replied, "About three acres."The lawyer tried again, "No, I mean do you have a Grudge? The man said, "No, but we have a carport."The lawyer made one last effort: "Are you really sure you want a divorce?" The client replied, "No, I don’t but my wife does. She says we can’t communicate!"
• This subject is not a very comfortable one to talk about. This subject is one that elicits strong emotions in many people because of the way that they have been affected by it.
• Today as we are going to look at the history of marriage so we can grasp what Jesus will share with us in Matthew 5:31-32.
• This examination is a timely on because marriages are falling apart throughout society, including the church.
• According to a 2001 study by George Barna of the Barna research institute; Overall, 33% of all born again individuals who have been married have gone through a divorce, which is statistically identical to the 34% incidence among non-born again adults.
• This message is not a message meant to beat up on people, it is my hope today that if you have been through the ravages of divorce that you will gain comfort in knowing what God says about the subject.
• For the young people here today, I hope that this message may help you to see the seriousness of marriage and that you will choose your future spouse very carefully.
• Lastly, I hope that we all realize that no matter what your situation that God loves you. If you fall on the side that is contrary to God’s will, that there is forgiveness in Jesus.
• SLIDE #2
• Let us begin our examination of marriage by looking at Genesis 2:20-24
• Genesis 2:20-24 ( ESV ) The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
• Let us start by looking at:
• SLIDE #3
SERMON
I. IN THE BEGINNING. GENESIS 2:20-24
• God desired that man have a suitable helper so he took a rib from Adam and made Eve for him! Adam was excited with this new mate! Our English does not do the passage justice. Adam was one happy man! WOW GOD THANK YOU!
• In verse 24 we see the pattern God lays out, LEAVE-CLEAVE-BECOME.
• “Cleave to” or “to hold fast” carries the idea of firm, permanent attachment, as in gluing. In marriage a man and woman are so closely joined that they become “one flesh,” which involves spiritual as well as physical oneness.
• God shows us that we are to make a new life together and during the course of that effort, we become one inseparable flesh. God intended marriage to be a beautiful thing that makes each person’s life better.
• As God designed it, marriage is to be the welding of two people together into one unit, the blending of two minds, two wills, two sets of emotions, two spirits. It is a bond the Lord intends to be indissoluble as long as both partners are alive.
• The Lord created sex and procreation to be the fullest expression of that oneness, and the intimacies of marriage are not to be shared with any other human being. (MacArthur’s New Testament Commentary Matthew)
• It was not too long before sin perverted the marriage relationship in Genesis 3.
• SLIDE #4
• Now we have trouble in paradise.
II. TROUBLE IN PARADISE.
• Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking with one another when suddenly the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation.
• Everyone started screaming and running for the back door, trampling each other in an effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had evacuated except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the enemy in front of him.
• The devil walked up to the man and said, "Don’t you know who I am?" The man quietly replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked, "Aren’t you afraid of me?" "Nope, sure ain’t," said the man. A perturbed Satan, asked, "Why aren’t you afraid of me? “The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for over 46 years.”
• Let us look at What Moses said in Deuteronomy 24:1
• SLIDE #5
• Deuteronomy 24:1 ( ESV ) “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house,
• Remember this passage when we get to Jesus’ day because the religious leaders will use this passage as their reason for their views on divorce.
• Let’s look at the state of marriage during the days of Moses.
• SLIDE #6
A. The state of marriage in Moses day. Deut. 24:1-4
• During the time of Moses, man became increasingly sinful and that affected their marriage relationships. We had men with concubines (or literally “half-wives”) Men had many wives also.
• The marital relationship was suffering greatly.
• In this passage Moses neither encourages nor commands divorce. Sending the wife away was becoming an increasing problem during the days of Moses.
• God opened this door so that women would be protected and not accused of adultery which was punishable by death.
• Religious leaders were split on what “finding and indecency” in his wife meant. Some said sexual misconduct, others schools of thought were ANYTHING the husband did not like.
• A man was permitted to have other women according to their interpretation of the law as long as that woman was not the wife of another.
• Because of the perversion of God’s law and the hardness of men’s hearts God allowed a certificate of divorce to be offered.
• We know that this was not something that God liked because in Malachi 2:16, God says that He hates divorce, but God allowed it.
• What that tells us is that even when something happens in which God would allow a divorce we should try to do all we can to make it work and only look at divorce as the last result.
• SLIDE #7
B. The state of marriage in Jesus day. Matthew 19:1-9
• There were two schools of thought regarding divorce during Jesus’ day, one said that divorce was only allowed in the case of adultery, the second said that you could divorce for any reason.
• It was not a lot different that the time of Moses.
• The religious leaders that held to the divorce for any reason appealed to Deuteronomy 24. They focused on the words “finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her” to mean that anything goes.
• Jewish historian Josephus who lived around this time period with the utmost indifference said about divorcing his wife, “About this time I put away (divorced) my wife, who had borne me three children, not being pleased with her manners.”
• Men were quick to exercise this supposed right during Jesus time.
• SLIDE #8
• Matthew 19:1-9 TURN TO
• Verse 3 reflected the practice of the day. ANY CAUSE.
• In verses 4-6 Jesus goes right back to Genesis and then He corrects their misinterpretation of Moses by saying in verse 8 that Moses PERMITTED divorce, not commanded it because of the hardness of their hearts.
• In verse 9 Jesus gives God’s view on divorce, later Paul will expand that a bit and we will look at that later.
• SLIDE #9
C. The state in our day.
• I not going to spend a lot of time on this other to say that things have not gotten better.
• Marriages end today over some very serious issues like adultery, abuse, substance abuse, to other things like we just drifted apart.
• As I stated in the introduction, marriages in the church are not a whole lot more stable than those outside of the church.
• We need to do whatever we can do to correct this.
• I can feed you statistics all day long, but the bottom line is that we have to go into marriage with the thought that it is until death do us part.
• That means we will go into treating one another with love and respect. We will not allow ourselves to physically or emotionally abuse one another, we will not cheat on each other.
• Let’s look at Matthew 5:31-32
• SLIDE #10
• Matthew 5:31-32 ( ESV ) “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
• Jesus is telling us that we need a course correction.
• SLIDE #11
III. A NEEDED COURSE CORRECTION. MATTHEW 5:31-32
• BIBLICALLY, when you take the emotion out of this issue, Jesus tells us that God’s intention is one man for one woman until one of them dies.
• Jesus says that if a person divorces their spouse for any reason other than adultery, they themselves will be committing adultery when the consummate another marriage.
• Why does God make such a big deal out of this? Remember• Matthew 19:6, WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER, LET NO MAN SEPARATE! Marriage is a God ordained institution.
• Later in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16 Paul tells us that if we are married to an unbeliever and they leave, then we are free to marry again.
• Those are the only two Biblical reasons I can find in which God allows a marriage to end.
• A 1997 book called A Generation at Risk by two Penn State sociologists, shows that less than a third of divorces result from marriages where abuse, neglect, or even high-octane fighting is the norm. In the other two-thirds of divorces, Mom and Dad simply grow apart. Easy divorce is a temptation many in this situation will give in to.
• The world tells us to cut our losses and run at the first sign of trouble, but some are seeing the wisdom of trying to work things out.
• Diane Nedbed secular counselor, psychologist and author of the book, The Case Against Divorce,” states, “I originally thought that staying together in turmoil was more traumatic than making the break. I was wrong. ... Divorce may be the only recourse in cases of drug and alcohol addiction, physical abuse, severe emotional cruelty or permanent abandonment. But on balance people could spare themselves enormous suffering if they would stop their permissive acceptance of divorce and treat marriage as a lifelong commitment not to be entered into or wiggled out of lightly."
• This comes from a secular counselor.
• If I just get tired of my wife or decide I need a younger model, and then decide to leave her and marry the other person, in God’s eyes I am an adulterer.
• I am here to tell you that if you are married, you are married to the right person. If you are having troubles, seek counseling.
• 80 some percent of problem marriages in which there is no third person involvement can be fixed and can go on and be happy and productive. The couple just has to be willing to put in the work needed to fix it, BOTH OF THEM.
• God’s plan is one man for one woman until death. God is sympathetic to us in cases of abandonment, adultery. Even in those terrible situations, we should still try to make divorce the last option.
CONCLUSION
• My hope for those who have been traumatized by the ravages of divorce that you will find healing in Christ.
• For those who have been the recipient of a spouse who abandoned you or defiled the marriage with adultery, I pray you can find hope in Christ.
• If you happen to be one who caused the break-up of your marriage because of adultery, I pray you know that no sin is beyond the forgiveness of Jesus.
• I want to ask EVERY married couple here to commit your marriage to Jesus. For those who are yet to be married, commit your future marriage to Jesus and look for someone who will share your faith in Christ!
• Once again if you are having struggles, please go to a Christian counselor who can help you, get help.
• You will be glad you did!
