Words Influence Love
Psalm 1:1-6 Acts 2:1-20 Pentecost 5/31/09
We are in the midst of 40 Days of Love as we celebrate Pentecost. Pentecost is the day the Holy Spirit fell down on the church. There were about 120 men and women gathered together in prayer. Jesus had told them, do not leave Jerusalem until the Holy Spirit had come upon them. They had no idea what exactly Jesus was talking about, but they decided to pray for it to happen.
There they were in the upper room, when all of a sudden it felt as if an earthquake was shaking the building. There was a sound of a whirlwind up above their heads. They looked up and saw this huge tongue of fire. This fireball immediately split into parts and started to settle on top of them. Some of us would have probably been trying to put out the fire or at least keep it out of hair.
But when the fire hit them, it immediately changed the way they were speaking. They immediately started preaching in other languages. The noise from the building shaking inside and out must have sounded as though a bomb had gone off, so people came running to the area to find out what had happened.
They probably expected to find dead bodies from the explosion, but instead they find these people preaching about Jesus in their own language. Since it was a big feast time, there were Jews from all over the world who spoke various languages. They could not believe that these uneducated Jews were preaching in their languages from Asia, from Africa, and from Europe. God placed within his people on the day of Pentecost, a language that people could understand wherever they were from.
Some people who didn’t understand some of the languages claimed the disciples and believers were just drunk and making up funny sounds. But Peter got them straight, and said, “no way are we drunk. It’s only 9 in the morning. This is the outpouring of the Holy Spirit that God said would happen. The Holy Spirit had been promised to the old, the young, the men, the women, the rich the poor, and everybody in between. The people were speaking a universal kind of language.
God has a universal kind of language today and it is the language of love. I find it interesting that the first change the Holy Spirit made on the day of Pentecost in the lives of God’s people was in their language. Their words took on a whole new meaning. God changed the affect and the power of their words, by connecting the words in their mouths to the ears of those who heard them.
If you had been from Africa that day, you would have heard somebody speaking an African language. If you were Cappadocian , you would have heard someone speaking the Cappodocian language. God uses our words to reach others for Himself.
When we talk about 40 days of love, we have to be aware of how words influence love in a negative and positive way. God used words on the day of Pentecost to demonstrate his love. God is still using words to change people’s hearts. One of the instruments we have to love others with is our mouths. On the day of Pentecost, God used the mouths of his people. The mouth is a powerful part of the body because words come out of it..
There are three things I want us to recognize about our mouths. The first is my mouth, my words direct where I go. The words that come out of my mouth determine, which direction my life is about to take. How many of you have said something, and immediately said or thought, “Ooh I wish I had not said that.” Those words that came out, are about to direct us to the principal office, to the unemployment line, or downstairs to sleep on the couch or out the door. My mouth, my words direct where I go.
The second thing is my mouth, my words can destroy what I have. Have you ever had somebody say something to you that hurt your feelings so bad, you gave them up as a friend and quit hanging with them? They lost the relationship they had with you. Have you ever said something where somebody was going to do something for you, but you lost what you had because of the words you used? Nothing causes us to lose the love of other people quicker than our mouths and saying things that truly hurt them.
The third thing is my mouth, my words tell everybody else what kind of person I really am. Have you ever seen a guy or girl that you thought were pretty attractive until he or she opened his or her mouth? Their words displayed they were not the kind or sweet person you thought they were. What we are on the inside is eventually going to come out on the outside in the form of our words. The Bible tells us that our words even tell others how dumb or smart we are. It says, “even a fool is thought to be wise until he opens his mouth”. If you want people to think you’re smart, just don’t talk to much.
Jesus lets us know, that whatever is in our hearts is going to come out in the words and actions that we do. It is out of the heart that the mouth speaks. Therefore if there is little love in our hearts, there is going to be very little love coming out of our mouths. This is why we need a change to take place in our hearts. When the Holy Spirit fell on Pentecost, the Holy Spirit filled the heart of the believers, and the words that came out of their mouths brought healing and reconciliation to God.
How do we love people with words. The first thing we do is love people with Honest words. How many of you know sometimes it is s hard to be honest with people? We want people to like us and that puts a lot of pressure on our willingness to be honest. Andy Stanley once said, “whenever we create something, we always think it is better than it really is”. Sometimes we want to encourage people so we don’t tell them the truth about something they have created or about something they are about to do. Most of us don’t want to rock the boat or hurt someone’s feelings. But in the process, we can be setting the person up for a huge disappointment, embarrassment, or even a major crisis.
Sometimes it is hard to be truthful when we need to be, but love calls us to do it. When someone asks for your opinion, try to be honest. Sometimes honesty is going to hurt. I don’t know if we can truly love a person, if we are unwilling to risk hurting the person or our relationship to the person, when the person is wrong.
Now the bible does not tell us to go around correcting people left and right. That’s just being mean and critical. It says for us to speak the truth in love. In you’re going around letting people know they’re too this or too that, you are not speaking the truth in love, you’re being critical and hurtful. To speak the truth in love, you must have first shown love to the person so that you have earned the right to speak to them when it comes to correction. You should also ask yourself, have you been invited to make the comment. Sometimes we have our comments too far out in front of our love. Our comments can keep others from ever feeling our sensing our love. They simply want to avoid us. Here come so and so ready to hurt somebody’s feelings.
When the bible says an open rebuke is better than hidden love, it’s saying, when you know the other person is wrong, it is better for you to rebuke them than to just let it slide and have them think you approve of what they are doing. Loving honesty is going to force you to take some risks. Jesus did not call you to be a yes person to anyone except to Him. Yes Lord, no matter what. That’s for Jesus and Jesus alone.
The Scriptures tell us that love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. Your loved ones need to know that you really do have their best interests in heart, and you’ll pay the price the prove it.
The second way we love with words is that we love people with careful words. Words are powerful so we have to be careful with them. How many of you can remember a harmful word that was spoken to you, and it still hurts to hear the person say it over and over in your mind? There are three ways in which we can fail to be careful with our words. Those three areas are anger, gossip, and too many words.
Has anybody here ever let some words come out of your mouth in anger, that you would not have let out if you had not been angry? Ever wanted to snatch them out of mid air and put them back inside. Anger is something we have to control if we are going to be careful to love others with our words. The word of God says, “in your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down, while you’re still angry and do not give the devil a foothold.”
When we combine anger with words, there is the potential for a tremendous explosion to take place. The longer we are angry, the greater the blowout, the more people will be hurt, and the more regret we usually will have. The first thing we have to recognize is that everybody is going to get angry. The verse does not say “if you get angry” it says “in your anger”. We are all going to get angry, the issue is will we allow love to control our anger. The power of love will keep our words in check in our moments of anger. You cannot grow in your love for a person if you refuse to limit the words you use in anger.
The best remedy for anger is to get rid of it as soon as possible. We determine how long we stay angry. The reason we are angry is we feel as though somebody owes us something. We have a choice. We can demand what we are entitled to receive, or we can choose to let go of the debt and be set free. The longer we hold on to anger, the greater the power Satan gains over our lives. I don’t know about wives, but it may be true for them, but we as husbands agreed that our greatest battle with sexual temptation comes during the periods in which we are angry with our wives. Anger cause us to magnify the failures and weaknesses of others. It has the opposite affect of being grateful and thankful. We focus on the loss. If we let go of the anger, we become stronger in our faith.
The bible tells us that love does not keep an account of wrongs that are suffered. A good lover has a poor memory. If you’re the kind of person who can remember each time somebody hurt you and when they did it, chances are, you’re not allowing the Holy Spirit to fill your heart with love. Remember anger turns to bitterness , and bitterness can do the same thing to you as cancer can. Remember this, there is nothing the other person may be able to do to pay you back for the wrong they have done. But you always have the power to cancel the debt. Love puts us in the debt canceling business.
Another way in which we are not loving and careful with our words is through gossip. Gossip can be true, but it is still gossip and hurtful and painful. The bible tells us that gossip will separate close friends. In the church, we have to be careful not to spiritualize gossip, by making it a prayer request. In my family and I had a couple in which the guy have been unfaithful in his marriage vow. During a family grace period at a big family meal she prayed, “Lord I thank you the lady’s husband didn’t come home when my husband was with his wife or he might have killed both of them.” Her husband’s response was, “now you didn’t have to go there.”
How many of you will admit to having gotten some news you just wanted to share even though you knew it made somebody else look bad or it took a swipe at another person. You just had to find someone to share it with. There is something about having the latest bit that you know others would love to hear. Love is not the motivation behind us wanting to get this stuff out.
Now you can know if someone is gossiping if you ask them, “do you mind if I tell the person you were the one that told me this.” Just because something is true does not mean that it is loving to repeat it. Just as we have received grace and mercy from God, love would insist that we show love and grace to those around us who have fallen.
Just as God gives us another chance, we need to give others a chance. What if each time we came to God, God said, here comes that lying, selfish, impatient, lazy whatever again. Thank God , God sets us free from the past we have. The bible tells us that love will cover a multitude of sins.
The third problem with not loving by being careful with our words is saying too much. We can get to going on and on and not know when to stop. How many times do we need to yell and scream to get a point across. Some of us want to follow people from room to room just fussing or nagging. Proverbs 21:23 says watch your words and hold your tongue, you’ll save yourself a lot of grief. Some of us just do not know when to let it go. You have made your point. To keep going on and on is not helping you or the other person. It is not the right thing to do.
Love is not irritable. All you are doing is irritating yourself and irritating the other person. You’re either looking for a fight or trying to completely humiliate and embarrass the other person. People get to the point of just completely tuning you out. There is no spiritual gift called ranting and raving. We are encouraged to be gently and kind to each other.
The third way we love people with words is by Loving people with building words. Building words are those words that cause people to go away feeling good that they came across your path. Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Is there anybody here who could use some more building up? Then ask the question “am I building up others.” Our words are either building up or tearing down. We use our words to build our families or tear them down.
Can anybody tell me what positive role profanity plays in the mouth of a Christian or in a Christian. Profanity is used to hurt, to humiliate, to demean, to dehumanize and to destroy. How does one led by the Spirit choose it as a means of building up others. The Holy Spirit did not fill you in order for you to be a fountain of destruction. Jesus knew how to tell people off without ever having a single word of profanity fall from his lips. You can do the same thing if need be.
Your children will remember the words and names you called them, long after you have forgotten what you said. Don’t forget, one day you will be at their mercy as they make decisions for your life on the other end of your life. There are plenty of adults in nursing homes that have been forgotten by their children. We may reap what we sow. Everybody in church may think you’re loving and sweet. Your children know what you’re like at home. Which testimony do you think they believe about you and about God? The same is true about youth who are one way at church, but entirely different at home. God is calling us to love each other more in both places. Choose to build up those in your home..
We are all going to use words this week. The only issue is what kind of words will they be. Will you choose to use kind words to keep others in a good spirit or to lift them up?. Will you choose gentle words, when someone comes at you somewhat angry. A soft answer will turn away anger. Will you choose pleasant words, when trying to get someone to do something? Will you choose honest words, when someone wants you to approve of something that’s not right? Will you choose wise words, when you see others are already hurting and in pain. Let the Spirit minister through you by the words that you use.
We will not be great lovers if we do not learn to love with our words. Let’s pray.
“Words Influence Love
40 Days of Love, Part 3
All of us often make mistakes. But if a person never makes a mistake in what he says, he is perfect. James 3:2a (TEV)
· My mouth __________________ where I go.
· My mouth can ____________________ what I have.
· My mouth ____________________ who I really am.
“Words flow out of what fills the heart.” Matthew 12:34 (NJB)
“Your souls aren’t harmed by what you eat, but by what you think and say!” Mark 7:15 (TLB)
1. LOVE PEOPLE WITH __________________________
…speaking the truth in love... Ephesians 4:15a (NIV)
An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Proverbs 27:5 (NLT)
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
1 Corinthians 13:6 (NIV)
2. LOVE PEOPLE WITH ________________________
In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)
A gossip separates close friends. Proverbs 16:28b (NIV)
Watch your words and hold your tongue; you’ll save yourself a lot of grief. Proverbs 21:23 (Msg)
3. LOVE PEOPLE WITH ________________________
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs… Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
THIS WEEK I WILL CHOOSE:
q Kind words: Transform worry to joy
Worry can rob you of happiness, but kind words will cheer you up. Proverbs 12:25 (TEV)
q Gentle words: Break through anger
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)
q Pleasant words: Encourage learning
Pleasant words promote instruction. Proverbs 16:21b (NIV)
q Honest words: Make us feel loved
An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. Proverbs 24:26
q Wise words: Heal broken hearts
Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal. Proverbs 12:18 (TEV)
