1A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold. 2The rich and the poor have this in common: the LORD is the maker of them all. 3The clever see danger and hide; but the simple go on, and suffer for it. 4The reward for humility and fear of the LORD is riches and honor and life. 5Thorns and snares are in the way of the perverse; the cautious will keep far from them. 6Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray. Proverbs 22:1 - 6 (NRSV)
It’s a difficult world! Raising children isn’t getting any easier. Gerber Foods has a toll-free baby help line (1-800-4GERBER). It is supposed to help first time moms with their questions. One lady called in and asked,
My baby ate the coupon, Can I still redeem it?
Parenting certainly is not a science -- it’s an art. Those who think they have somehow graduated to expert status are like the picture of the elegantly dressed woman who is holding a cup of coffee. Her little finger is cocked ever so daintily to the side, and her face reveals utter self-confidence. Unfortunately she doesn’t realize that her slip has collapsed around her ankles. The caption reads, Confidence is what you have before you understand the situation! [1]
Confidence is actually a good thing; self-confidence reeks.
How can we develop appropriate confidence for raising children? Proverbs 22.6 is a wonderful place to start. The words of this little verse are that to which every Christian Mom and Dad should cling.
. 6Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray.
The Process of Christian Parenting
The process is to train a child. This is a primary root word, which means to narrow, or throttle. The throttle controls engine speed. That’s a good analogy for dealing with hyper-active children!
Narrowing the focus of what a child learns flies in the face of today’s fad that lets children grow up very quickly. Training, however, is the art of bringing along a child in the art of being a person. That takes --
A. DISCIPLINE
Athletes train with varying degrees of discipline. Those who are highly motivated go to higher levels of proficiency. Those with low motivation hire a personal trainer. This describes a parent. You are the personal trainer to which God has entrusted the training of a child.
At a church in Kansas there is a set of baby footprints in the sidewalk. The feet are pointed in the direction of the front door. The meaning is hard to miss -- Get them started early.
B. DEMONSTRATION
Railroad train cars follow the leader. And in such ways children are trained as well. Abraham Lincoln said that for a man to train up a child in the way he should go, he must walk that way himself. Trainers have not only been there, Mom, and Dad, they have not forgotten the way. Your children will copy what he sees you do, sooner than he will heed what he hears.
A lady was cleaning her house and singing Gospel songs as she worked. She began singing Soon and very soon, we are going to see the king. Her little son was in the next room and began singing along with Mom. Something was a little off, however, so Mom stopped to listen. The preschooler’s version, Soon, and very soon, we are going to Burger King. [2] A Christian parent demonstrates, and also checks the level of communication!
C. DILIGENCE
Training wheels on a bicycle are for guiding and giving assistance until the skill of riding is learned. In the same way parents must give attention to keeping their little ones afloat.
The Purpose of Christian Training
There are many books available on the process, the methodology of being a Christian parent. The Proverb writer focused also on the purpose -- the substance of why we take such pains to be Christian parents. We are to train them in the way they should go. The way is a word that is used metaphorically to describe a pathway through life. It comes from a root word that depicts stringing a bow. This picture becomes clearer when we consider the object of way; Go is the Hebrew peh, or mouth/breath, which, in the ancient world was the same as the deeds of a life. The word spoken was the deed done.
Put together, this phrase, the way he should go, becomes something like, Bend the bow the way it must point, and eventually fire the arrow. When you apply the metaphor to a young child, the old adage, (As the twig is bent) comes to mind. The Proverb writer is using a Hebrew idiom to describe the purpose of training, to wit:
What is accomplished in training
sets the course of a child’s life.
It is no wonder that wise parents take their responsibility seriously. Among others, there are at least three main priorities wrapped up in the purpose of Christian training,
A. INTELLIGENCE
Imparting wisdom is not the same as knowledge. Knowledge can simply be the combined weight of the Internet at your child’s disposal. Separating out how to use knowledge is one aspect of wisdom. The Bible declares that the fear (reverence) of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Parents, teaching your children to learn of God and to reverence Him are the purposes for the process.
B. INTEREST
This is a two-pronged fork. We must notice the natural instincts God has placed within our children -- and then take interest to bring it out -- all with the purpose of creating an interest in Christ.
Biblical scholar and author Howard Hendricks tells of a Sunday School teacher who came to his yard when he was nine. He was out playing marbles. The teacher invited him to Sunday School. Hendricks figured anything connected with School was not appealing, so the teacher asked a different question. He said, Wanna play a game of marbles? After he wiped out the nine year old kid in a couple of games, he then asked, Wanna learn how to play this game better? Dr. Hendricks noted that by the time he’d taught me how to play marbles over the next few days, he’d built such a relationship with me that I’d have gone anywhere he suggested. He ended up in a Sunday School class with 12 other boys, 11 of which ended up in vocational Christian work. [3]
C. INTEGRITY
Training them in the way they should go certainly includes teaching them that there is an only way! Jesus said that about Himself! We need to be clear about this. It does matter what you believe. If there is any other way to heaven, then Jesus is wrong. If there is any other way than to repent of sin, confessing it before men and God, and trusting only in Christ, then Christianity is a fake.
Parents, with integrity, teach your children -- on purpose -- that Jesus Christ is Lord, and He alone can save them.
The Product of Christian Training
The Proverb writer declares that if the Process is followed (training), and the Purpose is understood (the way he should go), then the Product will be that when he is old he will not depart from it. What does that mean? The word itself has many applications, but the key idea that seems to fit the context is,
The child will not leave unfinished business
when it comes to the important matters of life.
Central among the vital issues of life stands relationship. According to the Bible, a right relationship with God is the first order of business, both in chronology and importance. In all other human relationships -- marriage, friendship, parenting, and business -- the kind of relationship we build will determine the kind of eternity we experience.
A child that is trained in the way, the purpose of God for his life, will not leave business unfinished.
Does that mean every child will eventually accept God, and serve Him well? No, but it stresses the parental responsibility to move in that direction, giving the child every opportunity to respond.
How important is it to give them good training wheels? One unknown author expressed it well:
Whatever you write
On the heart of a child,
No water can wash it away.
The sands may be shifted
When billows are wild
And the efforts of time may decay.
Some stories may perish,
Some songs be forgot,
But this engraved record,
Time changes it not.
Whatever you write
In the heart of a child
A story of gladness or care --
That heaven has blessed
Or that earth has defiled,
Will linger unchangeably there.
Who writes it has sealed it
Forever and aye.
He must answer to God
On that great judgment day.
Remember that, beloved.
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ENDNOTES
1] James C. Dobson (1936- ), as quoted, Edythe Draper, Draper’s Book of Quotations for the Christian World, (Wheaton, Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 1992), 8359-8361
2] Fran Zok, Buffalo, NY, quoted in The Bible Illustrator, (Hiawatha, Ia, Parson’s Technology, 1990), Idx 1632-1633
3] Howard Hendricks, Say It With Love
